We Are On The Same Team

I started this page because I love everything about coaching, leadership, learning, and getting better. 

I would read, listen to, and watch as much information as I could on how to become a better coach and leader, but I would forget so much if what I learned.

This was just a place to store my thoughts, and before I knew it, I had an audience of 100 people, then 1,000, and now almost 50,000.

What started as a 'place to store my notes' has become a nice little community of people who are trying to be better coaches, parents, athletes, and teammates.

I try to stay out of politics as much as I can, and I try to focus just on sports and leadership, but I just don't think it would be right to not take a second and make mention of George Floyd and his death.  I have heard that he was loved and admired by the people who knew him.  I have heard him described as a good Christian, a good father, a good friend, and a good man.

So much has already been said about his death and what is going on right now in our country.  That video was hard to watch.  I pray for him and his family and those who loved him.  Nobody deserves to leave this earth the way that he did.

My thoughts as I get lost in Social Media (and really needing to take a break) is that I just wish that we were better communicators.  

I've seen a lot of thought and commentary from people on all sides, and I think we are closer in thought and ideals than we think.

Sometimes we just need to try to speak (or type) with a little more empathy so that the listener (or reader) is more able to willing to listen (or read) what we are trying to say.

Sometimes we need to listen (read) with the intent to hear (read) and understand with empathy and with the intent to learn and find common ground.

People from all sides are hurting.  People are upset.

We are on the same team.  We might not always agree on the style of play, but we have to find a common goal.

We have to run the same race.

As with everything that I share, I just hope that it helps someone get a little better, and I hope that it can bring people together in a time where that is needed.

I pray for you all.
I pray for our country.
I hope that we can heal from this.
I hope that we can be and do better.

#RIPGeorgeFloyd

Keep Going!

Don't quit.
Don't give up.
Be stronger.
Last longer.
Stick with things.
Keep it up.
Keep it up.
Keep it up.
Refuse to give up.
Believe.

If anybody can have it, you can have it.  You deserve it as much as everybody else.

When it gets tough, the most important thing is the voice in your head and what it is saying.

Anytime you find a really successful person, someone who is really doing great things, somewhere along the line they have developed the ability to go through adversity and to come out on the other side better, not bitter.

Stand strong.  Be determined to do the best that you can and help others stand strong and determined to be their best.

The No Complaining Rule

When I was playing college basketball, I hated early morning workouts.  Every Friday in the pre-season we had a track workout, and the day before, we would have a team vote on whether we would prefer to workout in the morning before classes or wait until after classes.

Almost every time, my team would vote to workout in the morning, and every time I would groan.

One day, my coach called me out on it.  He asked me to find something positive to say next time instead of complaining.  When I would groan, it would bring down the energy in the room and have a negative effect on our energy.  My words impacted the energy in the room and it impacted our workouts.

I started to fake being positive about the early morning workouts, and it actually started to improve my attitude, my mood, and my work ethic.

I went from faking excitement to being motivated, to attacking our workouts.

The point of training and working out is so that we can improve and become the best that we can be.  We have to attack every workout to get the most out of it, and we need a positive attitude and positive energy to consistently attack our workouts.

This mentality can be carried over to school, work, and all parts of life.

For now on, watch your words and try to make sure that all of your words are positive and motivating.  For now on, attack your workouts!

The Best Part of My Day

One thing that I tell my athletes is that practice, especially practice at home by yourself working on your game has to be the best part of your day if you really want to squeeze the juice and become your best.

At my house, we say the same thing.  We try to set aside time every day to work on our different sports, we try to make it family time, and we always say that this is the BEST part of our day.

I hope that my kids look back with good memories of us being in the back in the late afternoon when the sun starts to set, shooting hoops, working on our soccer touches, having batting practice, or practicing our tennis swings.

Jay Shetty is a former monk who is now an award-winning host, storyteller, and viral content creator who since launching his video channel in 2016, has garnered over 4 billion views and gained over 20 million followers globally.

He repeated the quote, "The most successful people in the world, healthy, wealthy and wise, choose education over entertainment.

How can we make getting better entertaining?  How can we find joy in practice?  That is the greatest win that we can have; finding entertainment in the process of getting better.

For me, it starts by saying, "This is the best part of my day" when we are shooting or doing skill work at home together.

5 AM

My older cousin used to train me when I was in middle school and high school.

He would wake me up at 5 AM and take me to the gym and we would put in WORK in the summer.

At first, I HATED it.  This was my summer vacation.  I wanted to sleep in and enjoy it.

But then I got used to it and started to attack the workouts.

That was the foundation that I used to become a college basketball player.

Looking back, I am thankful because that taught me how to get up, get uncomfortable, and to work for my dreams.

When I was 14 years old, he told me that I was one of the better kids in my area, but he said that all this means is that other kids were going to be coming for me.  Other kids were going to start waking up at 5 in the morning to catch me, and if I didn't keep working, they would pass me up and they would all talk about how good I used to be.

But he said if I keep working, then they would say, 'man, he is good now, but he has ALWAYS been good.'

If I could change one thing about growing up, I would say that I wish that I was more consistent with those 5 AM workouts.

You get out of sports what you put into them.  The more you work, the harder you work, the smarter you work, the more efficient your training is and the more effective your training is, the more that you will get out of it.

"Show me your habits and show me your routine and I will show you where you are going in life."

Work On Game Skills, Get Game Results

Drew Hanlen trains some of the best basketball players in the world.

He says that one of the biggest mistakes that he sees from players is that they waste too much time practicing skills and moves that they don't use in games.

Drew says that all over social media, you see players juggling tennis balls and players picking up cones, and players who can't make layups with their weak hand working on James Harden step-back threes.   He feels like the training industry that he is in is in part responsible for this.

Different drills that work on micro-skills, like 2 ball dribbling, do help improve skill and capacity, but it's important that the skills work is transferable to the game.  Use your time more efficiently and effectively by doing drills and working on skills that will give you better game results.

Drew says that as long as you aren't creating bad habits, putting in some work is better than no work, but work on the right skills so that the work that you put in can help you see in-game results.

When you are working on your game, ask yourself these two questions:

1 – How can I contribute to winning?
2 – What skills or things do I do in games?

Drew says that the number one skill a player can have is their ability to impact winning.

Focus on how you can help your team win by mastering your role, and the best way to master your role is to get great at the things that you do in the game.

On your own and when you are training, work over and over and over again on the things that you will do in games so that when you get in the game, you feel comfortable snd confident.

In-game confidence comes from working on and mastering in practice the exact skills that you will use in games. 

Ask yourself, "What can I do to help impact my team's chance to win games, " and then ask yourself, "What are the skills and things that you are going to need to do in games," and then simply go out and work on those.

If you work on game skills, hard and with purpose, then you will eventually get game results.

It's THEIR Race

One of the hardest things for me is seeing an athlete with potential but who lacks work ethic.

What is even harder is when their parents see it and push them to get more out of their potential, especially when they are young, and it lesds to burnout.

Trying to find that balance between teaching your kids how to work for what they want vs allowing them to explore their passion organically and allowing them to lead the way can be hard.

Pushing an athlete too hard or too early can cause burnout.  Not teaching an athlete how to work hard will hurt them in different ways.

Just remember its their race.  Not ours.  We can only love and support and give timely wisdom and advice.

I Believe In You

COACHES AND PARENTS
Tell your players/athletes:

“I believe in you.
I believe in your ability.
I believe in your potential.”

Believing in our kids is one of the most important gifts that we can give them.

Shower them with this gift.  Tell them why you believe in them and their potential.

Tell them how they can live up to their potential.

Help them create a plan.

Teach them how to work diligently and consistently to complete the plan.

Teach them that obstacles and adversity are inevitable parts of the journey.

Teach them how to gracefully get past obstacles and how to handle adversity.

Teach them how to win with honor.

Teach them how to learn from and bounce back from losses.

Teach them how to love, serve, and support their teammates.

Teach them how to believe in themselves, and teach them how to share the gift of belief in others.

This just might help change a life.

One life at a time can change sports.

We >> Me

COACHES:  A great way to model, teach, and emphasize team is to use "we", "our", and "us" instead of "me", "my", "mine", and "your" when communicating with the team and staff.

The first coach that I ever worked for held this philosophy.

One of the first things that he said to me was, "I never do anything.  WE do everything.  I will try to never use the word 'I' when talking about what WE do as a coaching staff and what we do as a team because I want you to fully invest in US and own what WE do."

This was one of the best things that he did for me as a young coach.

It empowered me.

It made me feel valued.  

Because of it, I worked harder and I got better.

I knew that what I brought to the team was going to recognized.

It made the team better because it made me better.

It made my head coach better becsuse I was better for him.

We were all better because he gave us 'WE' and not 'ME.'

Know What You Prioritize

Only you can come up with your priorities.

They can’t be your parents’ priorities.
They can’t be your friends’ priorities.
They can’t be your coach’s priorities.

You have to determine what’s important to YOU.

Once you understand that, you have to determine how you are going to invest into that.

And when you get off track, you have to have a way of bringing everything back when things start to get chaotic.

Life in sports can be very chaotic.

Have a plan, a schedule and a routine to help keep you focused.

Teach Them ...

Teach them how to LOVE the GAME.
Teach them how to LOVE to WORK.
Teach them how to LOVE to COMPETE.
Teach them to not be afraid to lose.

If they have these, they will have the passion, the work ethic, and the grit they need to accomplish anything in sports and in life!

"The most we can hope for is to create the best possible conditions for success, then let go of the outcome. The ride is a lot more fun that way."  - Phil Jackson

I just want my athletes, my kids, to build a love for the game that lasts after they are done playing, to learn how to work hard for the goals that they want to achieve, to compete to be their best and to not be afraid to lose.

It's okay to lose, especially if you gave it everything that you had in practice and the game.  Just don't be afraid to compete. And just make sure that when the game is over, they felt you out there and you made it hard for them.

Hear The Message

COACHES: Make sure your players understand the why behind the coaching and the criticism and try to coach in a way that inspires and motivates the.

ATHLETES: Hear the message and learn and apply the instruction. Pay more attention to what they are saying than how they are saying it.

PARENTS: Help your athletes understand the message and the intent, or why, behind the message.

Everyone has an important role to play, everyone has to be on the same page and running the same race (shared vision).

If everybody can't get on the same page, then they might need to get on a different team.  At the least, work to find a way to get something positive out of it.  

We can learn something from every situation.  It might be that we learn what we don't want from a coach, or what kind of parents we don't want as part of our program.

Great Players Want to Be Told The Truth

I coach my kids.  I love coaching my kids.  It's one of the most enjoyable things that I do.  My oldest is pretty committed to being the best that she can be.  She allows me to push her more than the average kid, but sometimes she doesn't want to hear what I have to say.

That's natural for kids, its natural for athletes, so with time and prayer, I have learned to have the patience to respond appropriately and without anger (a lot of time and a lot of prayer).

I simply remind her of what her goals are (shared vision) and remind her of the work, effort, and sacrifice that it will take to accomplish those goals.

I also remind her that coaches will pour into you as much as you allow, and the best players find a way to allow their coaches to pour into them as much as they need.

I remind her that her best skills need to be her ability to listen, learn, and apply, along with the grit and courage to try something new and stick with it until she masters it.

Then I was reminded of this quote by Doc Rivers.

"Average Players want to be left alone.
Good players want to be coached.
Great players want to be told the truth.“

The conversations now when she gets frustrated are, 'Do you want me to leave you alone, or do you want me to keep pushing you, pulling you, and guiding you along until you get it right?'

With time and prayer, she is getting it.  These are sports conversations, but these are also LIFE conversations.  I hope that they help someone else and their journey. 

The Good and Bad of Social Media

Social media can be your best teammate or most vicious opponent.  On one hand, it is a one-stop-shop for skills and drills that are being done by athletes like you and athletes who you want to become.  It is a great opportunity to see what athletes are doing around the world.

With that comes comparison and comparison can be the thief of all joy.  I have spent many nights scrolling through the pages of athlete after athlete and coach after coach, comparing my ability and my kids' abilities vs other coaches and kids, and the anxiety that can come from that is just not healthy.

When used right, social media is a great resource and a jolt of motivation. 

When used wrong, it can create anxiety, depression, and unhealthy relationships.

Social media is a great resource for seeing what other athletes your age are doing, but its just one resource.

I can tell you firsthand that it is easy to go down the rabbit hole of going from video to video and profile to profile looking and comparing yourself to other kids who are able to do all of these advanced, high-level drills that might be above your level - right now.

Doing this has given me fear and anxiety because we live in a world where we value likes and we don't want to fall behind.

But remember, comparison is the thief of joy, and what is for you, no one can take away.  Run your race and work hard to be the best that you can be.

Understand why you play and what you want to get out of it.  External recognition is an amazing feeling, but it's dangerous when you tie your joy to the opinion of others.

Keep why you are doing what you do the main thing, and let external recognition be the icing on the cake.

I'm definitely not saying to stay off social media.  Again, it is a great resource that can show you different drills and skills that you can use and it can keep you motivated.  I'm just saying to be careful and don't let what you see consume you with negative thoughts and negative feelings.

Mental Toughness and Consistency

Mentally tough people aren’t always more talented; they are just more consistent.

And the only way to begin to be more consistent is to take a step, the next step, no matter what has happened and despite the fact that taking that next step may mean taking a fall. But at least you’ll be falling forward.

Consistency and mental toughness is a talent and a skill.  Some people are blessed with a little more naturally, some develop it because of their environment and situations that they have been in, and some people develop it strategically by working to be more consistent and more tough.

One of the biggest predictor of success is grit.  And grit takes consistency and toughness.

UCLA football coach Chip Kelly met with Jon Gordon for an interview.  Below are some of my notes from the podcast.

.....

Create an environment where your players have an opportunity to be successful, then get out of their way and let them do what they do best.

Arm your athletes with the tools they need, play to their strengths, and give them the freedom to do what they do best.

.....

Be teachable.

Be coachable.

Have an internal desire to be better tomorrow than you are today.

Become the best version of yourself.

Want to be your best.

Want to excel.

Have a desire to get better and excel.

Want to get better every, single, day.

.....

The difference between being good and being great is the size of your desire and what you are willing to sacrifice to be great.

Is your desire for mission accomplishment greater than you desire for personal comfort?

People that want to be great know that you are going to have to make sacrifices and they know what they are sacrficing for.

Everybody loves the idea of being great, but everybody is not in love with the work that it takes to be great.

Would you rather be comfortable?  Or would you rather be great?

.....

You are either winning or your learning.  The only way that you fail is if you aren't learning.

Get out of your comfort zone.  Find situations where you aren't successful, then learn how to get it done and get better.  Learning is the outcome.  

Try to be a great learner.  Are you growing and developing?  Are you better today than you were yesterday?  If you are learning and growing everyday, then you are being successful.

.....

We are trying to grow people and not just win football games.

.....

Its about the root, not the fruit.
.....

Great Teams and Motivating Athletes

Great teams, families, classrooms, schools, and organizations share a lot of the same principles and have similar values.

          "Link: Jon Gordon joins MTTS to talk about motivating athletes"

Great groups have a shared vision and purpose, they stay positive through challenges, they don't allow negativity to sabotage the group, and they work to build great relationships so that they have stronger connections and a stronger team.  

Great groups have grit.  They have consistency.  They have mental toughness.

Great groups are like craftsmen - people who pursue excellence in their craft.  

Great groups put 'we before me.'  They serve their teammates.  When you serve your team, they get better and you get better.  When you help them improve, you improve.

It's important to learn how to get through the tough moments and how to perform at your highest level as individuals and as a group.

Great coaches and leaders care about their players, and they drive them and push them toward excellence.  

A great coach shares love and accountability with and for their athletes.  

You have to love them up, and you have to hold them accountable to the culture, the values, and the principles, and the standards that are established.

Great teams know what makes teams great and how to be great teammates, they know the principles needed to be great and they live those principles every day.

Win today.  Win each day.  Get better each day.  A lot of us are used to routines, and right now, there is a lot of disruption.  Don't focus on what is lost.  Focus on how you can get better today.  Focus on what you will gain.  Serve snd impact others.  Make a difference.  If you focus on that and win today, the future will be bright.

What you believe determines what you create.  Optimism really is a competitive advantage.  Real optimism isn't seeing the world through rose-colored glasses.  It is knowing that you have the power to overcome the thorns.

Generate Energy

It is okay and normal if you don't wake-up every day filled with motivation and energy.  Especially during times like these, we don't always wake-up with a lot of motivation.  We have to learn how to generate motivation.

Design goals that will help you generate more motivation by making decisions before the decision needs to be made and by changing your environment so that its easier to make good choices.

Decide what you want to do tomorrow, when tomorrow you are going to do it, and where you are going to do it.

If you need to work on your shooting, decide tomorrow to make 100 shots at 10:00 in the morning at the goal at the local park.

If you need to run, decide to run tomorrow at 7:00, for 2 miles, around your neighborhood.

When you design your goals ahead of time, you are eliminating your brain's need to make a decision.  All you have to do is act and execute.

"What
When
Where"

Ann Thornock is a primary care physician who had a goal of increasing the amount of water sold and decreasing the amount of soda and sugary drinks.  She conducted a study where she made sure that there were water options in every vending machine and she put baskets of water by the checkout lines at Massachusetts General Hospital.

In 3 months, soda sales decreased by 11% and water sales increased by 26% by simply changing the environment.  People bought more water because the environment supported making good choices.

If you want to change your habits, see how you can change your environment.  Make it easier to make the right choices, and make it more difficult to make the wrong choices.  Set yourself up for success.

What Will Your Coaches Say About You?

This is a quote from Golden State Warrior coach, Steve Kerr.  He did an interview with legendary coach Phil Jackson, and he was asked, 'Can you pick one or two athletes and tell what made them great?"

He said that Steph Curry is unique in that you rarely see guys his size impact the game the way that he does, and of course, he talked about Steph's ability to shoot the ball.

What I love most about this quote is that Steph Curry is a guy who has made it to the top of his profession with faith-based values, humility, and concern for others, and he has confidence in himself and his abilities on the court.

When we think of the ultimate competitors in sports, in business, and in leadership, we often think about guys and girls who win at all costs.  Steph has won at the highest level, but it has not been at all costs.  He has done it the right way.

I don't think that we should spend too much time worrying about what other people think about us, but it would be a good practice to think about what you want people to say about you.  Know what your values are, what you believe in, and the type of person you want to be.

It's important to be aware of how you are impacting others and how you want to impact others and to make sure that these two things are aligned.

Todd Durkin and Jon Gordon

Todd Durkin is a professional trainer who got his big break training NFL MVPs LaDainian Tomlinson and Drew Brees when they were young players just getting started in the NFL.

Jon Gordon asked him, 'How do you help some of the greatest athletes in the world get better?'

Here was his response:

Every great coach tells their athletes what they NEED to hear, not what they WANT to hear.  They hold their athletes accountable, the motivate them and start a fire within them.

Coaches provide accountability, the know-how, and the ability to inspire their athletes to get to the next level.

Our job is to tap into the spirit inside of them.  It is to tap into the mind, the body, the spirit, and the soul on every level, and ask, 'What can I do to get them better and to the next level?'

Todd was then asked, "What are some key principles that guide you?"

"You have to care about your athletes.  Care more and above and beyond the training and the skill work.  Find motivational quotes and and videos to send them to inspire them and to keep them going.  Ask them about life.

There are a lot of great trainers out there, but we have to learn to meet them on a more personal level.  A lot of our athletes might look like they have it all together on the outside, but inside, they are caving in, they are hurting, they are down and depressed, and they are filled with anxiety.  We have to lead and serve them and help them get to the next level.  So we have to train from the inside out."

What are some of your favorite high-performance principles to help them get better?

1 - Show up - If you don't show up, you can't be any good. 

2 - The 5 Ps - Perfect Practice Produces Peak Performance.  Fall in love with practice and the process.  When no one is watching, what are you doing?  Don't just do it because someone tells you too.  Fall in love with practicing, working hard, pushing yourself, lifting weights, running, training, and working on your craft. 

3 - Get your mind right - If your mind isn't right, nothing else matters.  You have to be mentally ready to prepare and to train.

What Have You Learned From Training Elite Athletes?

To be great, you have to be locked in, consistent, and do it every day.  It's easy to be great for one day, it's not easy to be great for 1 year, 5 years, or 15 years.  Be consistently great.  Don't cancel.  Show up day after day.  Be prepared.  Learn how to lock-in.  We are all busy.  Things are always being thrown at us, but when we are training, the most important thing that we can do is lock-in on what's important.  How do you lock-in?  When things aren't right in one area of your life, how do you not let it affect other areas of your life?  How do you lock-in on the here and now despite everything else that is going on in the world.
Have a vision for where you want to go, but focus on today.  Stay locked in on what you need to do right now to get you closer to achieving your vision.

Be The Standard

There is a quote that says, 'The hardest person to lead is yourself.'

It's hard because you have to live out the expectations that you have for others:

- Be on time
- Be prepared
- Be positive
- Next play
- Have grit
- Go the extra mile
- Bring it every day

These are sayings that all of us coaches use, and if we live them, we can find success inside and outside of sports.

The hard part is actually living it out as a coach - every day - and in all walks of life.

We have to model the behavior that we expect.  When we don't practice what we preach, we send mixed signals that cause confusion and hurts your credibility.

We have to walk the walk.

Your character is who you are and what you do  - through the good times and bad times.

Life is opportunity after opportunity to get reps in being who you want to be.  Through the good and the bad, practice strengthening your character by making the right choices, by being more consistent, and by living above the line.