The Penn State women's soccer team has been named one of the top 5 soccer programs in the country.
They have an environment that engages it's players and where hard work is contagious. A big reason for their success is their three pillars that serve as the glue to their program: the attitude of a champion, blue-collar, and united family.
Those core values are at the front of everything that they do, and it leads to connectedness and success on and of the field.
When you have a strong foundation, anything is possible. It takes time to truly get the culture that you want, but every day, every practice, and every conversation is an opportunity to strengthen that culture more and more.
Geno Auriemma is one of the best coaches ever. He has built UConn women's into one of the most successful basketball programs ever. He knows a little something about champions and developing championship players and teams.
He has excelled at motivating his players to perform at the highest levels. He is always putting his players in the most difficult situations in practice. Doing so pushes them and forces them to perform closer and closer to perfect to find success.
He likes to play 5 on 6, 5 on 7, and 5 on 8 in practice. He wants it to be really hard on his players. Whenever they get comfortable with doing something, he makes it harder on them. Some players complain and make excuses, but he said that those players and teams are never going to be any good. The great players and teams welcome the challenge.
He is always moving the carrot. Some don't want any part of it. Some keep going. The ones who keep going are the ones who will be champions.
PLAYERS: If you want to be great, welcome the challenge and want more. Don't back down when your coach makes it harder on you. Don't back down when you play somebody older, bigger, faster, stronger, or better. Work hard to meet the challenge. The only way to become your best is to play your best.
Netflix has a new sports documentary called The Playbook. It is a docu-series covering different athletes-turned-coaches and the lessons that they have learned.
The first interview was about Doc Rivers. The interview started with Doc telling what he tells his team every year, to start the year:
"Every time I walk into the locker room for the first time, I tell my players every year, and I have told them for 21 years, "I'm Doc Rivers, and I'm human, and I am going to make mistakes. Having said that, every decision that I make will be good for the team. That may not be what's good for you, or for me. But if it's good for the team, it's good."
He went on to talk about his daily routine of push-ups and sit-ups every morning. He said he has a 30-minute routine, from alarm clock to car, and then he is off to practice. But he doesn't like calling it practice:
"When I was young, I practiced every day, but I never called it practice. I hate that. When I was a kid, I never called it practice. I was said I was going to play basketball. I don't ever get this going to practice thing. Basketball is a game and I love it. I never looked at it as some tortuous thing."
Rule Number 1 - Finish the Race
When Doc was a kid, a teacher asked him to write on the board what he wanted to be in life, and he wrote, "I want to be a pro basketball player." The teacher immediately grabbed the eraser, she erased what he wrote, told him to be realistic, and made him write something different. Again he wrote, "I want to be a pro basketball player." The teacher erased it again and sent him home.
When Doc got home, his dad walked him right back to school. His dad told him that he was doing horrible in school. Doc wasn't listening, he wasn't paying attention, he was always goofing around, and his dad said that the teacher was right and that he was not going to be that, and he wasn't going to be anything.
But right before they walked in the door, Doc's dad told him that it was a great goal. But whatever goal you have and you finally settle on one, just finish the race.
When Doc got back in the class, he again wrote on the board, "I want to be a pro basketball player." The students just laughed, his dad shook his head and left, and Doc said that day was a good day.
Rule Number 2 - Move On My mom was the one who taught me how to move on. - Sprain an ankle - eh, you will be fine. - Lose a game - get up, you'll be fine.
She did not like you feeling bad for yourself. She just didn't allow it. Her and my dad had this no victim mentality. You are not going to be someone else's victim. You're just not.
You get put into scenarios and you just do them. And you are going to do some of the wrong. So what; you have to keep going. You learn. You don't forget. But you can't ever be a victim.
Rule Number 3 - Ubuntu It's not all good all of the time. You are going to take some hits. You have to be able to weather the storm. Believe in who you are and what you do. Grow, but don't waver.
When we got KG, Paul Pierce, and Ray Allen, I called them into the office and told them that if we are going to win, we were going to have to sacrifice. We are going to have to change. We can't shoot every time and do whatever we want to. The challenge was getting everyone to buy-in to being a team.
When I was a board member at Marquette, a lady told me that we were going to be good, but I needed to look up and study 'Ubuntu.' She said it wasn't just a word, it was a way of life. Look up the word and become it. I went home and looked it up. I took notes all night.
Ubuntu is the essence of being human. A solitary human being is a contradiction in terms. We have to learn from other people how to be human. A person is a person through other people. I can't be all I can be unless you are all you can be. I can never be threatened by you because you are good, because the better you are, the better I am. This saved Africa through Nelson Mandela and Desmond Tutu. They basically preached this word.
When His Dad Passed Away When my dad passed, I told a story about my dad. I told him that he was a simple man that lived by a few ideas:
Work hard. Stay out of trouble. Don't quit. Bad things are going to happen in your life. Nobody wants them to happen, but they do.
Rule Number 4 - Pressure is a Privilege I don't think you should run from pressure or expectations. I think you should run towards it. You don't get in a lot of pressure situations in your life. If you can put yourself in a pressure situation, you have worked for it and you have earned it. Embrace it.
Pressure is a privilege. Why are we playing or why are we doing what we are doing if we don't want to be successful? You can play your whole life and never have a pressure situation. Who wants that? You should feel privileged that you worked hard enough to put yourself in that situation. You should embrace it, you should enjoy it, and you should understand that it is hard. It is all of that. That is a privilege.
Rule Number 5 - Champions Keep Moving Forward People think if you are the champion that you don't get hit. It is the exact opposite. Champions get hit over, and over and over. It's just that the champion is the one who decides to keep moving forward. It's how many punches can you take and keep moving forward until you can win.
If you get hit, even if you get knocked down, you have to get up and keep moving forward.
When you are trying to win a title, you have to be willing to put your heart on the line.
Coaches are crazy because they have to be. To be a good coach, you have to get players to believe that you believe that they can win.
What It Means To Be A Coach
It is so much more than winning. You get pleasure in watching young men grow up. Some of the advice when I first got started was wrong. I was told, "Don't get too close to them because some of them will let you down." Get close to them. Some do let you down. So what? Your job is to coach them and make them better players, better people, and better teammates. How to be tough, how to be compassionate, how to be a good winner, and how to be a good loser (if there is such a thing). It teaches you life.
I always tell them, "I am not going to coach you to who you are. I am going to coach you to who you should be someday."
In the book, The No Complaining Rule by Jon Gordon, it talks about the importance of having purposeful, positive interactions with your team.Teams are more successful when they are positive. People are better when they are positive. But a lot of us don't have ingrained positive habits, positive actions, and positive thinking in our lives.
A positive culture doesn't happen through osmosis. It happens by relentlessly focusing on our culture and weeding out negativity.
The best way to deal with negativity is to create a positive culture where negativity can't breed and grow and survive. Otherwise, you will spend all of your time fighting negativity.
We need intentional, positive leadership, we need positive interactions, and we need positive communication to fill the voids so that negativity can't breed.
With my teams, and with my family, I try to remember this as much as possible. I try to smile more when I am with them or when I am watching them play. I try to laugh more. We still work hard, but we also intentionally enjoy the process.
It has been a mind-shift, but it has made for a much more enjoyable life.
"Something good is going to happen to me and through me."
I was talking to a friend about how he can be intentional in providing character education for his high school basketball team. One suggestion that I had for him was to create a word of the week or even have his team create a word of the week, and use that word to drive them for the week, while also talking about how they can use that word in the classroom and other parts of life.
We decided to start with the word HOPE.
With so much going on in the world, we thought it would be important to have, live with, and lead with HOPE.
What is HOPE?
HOPE is expecting that something good is going to happen to you. When we start a new season, or a new team, or a new week, or a new practice, it would help our performance, mentally and physically, if we had high levels of HOPE.
Having hope can make tough situations - practices, games, and classes more bearable. Having hope can keep us motivated to do what we need to do to go after our goals.
Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. That is hope in action. When we work hard, good things happen. Be hopeful that something good is going to happen to you and through you today. Expect to have a good year because of the hard work that you put in. Expect that something good is going to happen to you and through you this season.
With everything else going on in the world, YOU can be a light of positivity and hope, and you can make a real difference on your team, in your school, and in the world.
What are three things that you are hopeful about?
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What are three habits that you can commit to this week?
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What is one thing that will keep you from getting what you want this week?
I was watching ESPN and they were talking about a quarterback who was having issues throwing interceptions.
The interviewer said that there are three reasons that a quarterback throws an interception:
1 - You get fooled by what you are seeing.
2 - You panic under pressure and you get rid of the ball before you have too.
3 - You force things or try too hard to make things happen.
I started thinking about my own kids and the mistakes that they make in other sports, and this definitely applies to them and applies to other sports.
When my daughter is playing basketball or soccer and she turns it over, almost every time the mistake is because of one of those three examples. It really comes down to:
1 - See the play that you want to make.
2 - Relax under pressure, and don't let them speed you up.
3 - Don't force anything; take what the defense gives you.
It also comes down to practice and strategy. The more skilled we are, the faster and more efficient we can play. Being skilled and confident in your skills will help you see the game better, relax and play at your own speed, and make the right play.
Having a good system where the team knows how to attack and where the outlet will help as well. When athletes are getting pressured, them knowing where their outlets are and how to get out of trouble helps set them up for success.
Truth and relationships. Those two things will help players
grow and develop the most. Players need to know the truth about who they are
and who they can be. If they aren’t good enough to start, to shoot more, or to
earn more playing time, they need to know the truth about that. They need to know
why they aren’t getting as many opportunities as someone else. They also need
to know what they can do better to get more chances.
Be real with them. If you have a player that is not going to
play this year, be willing to be real and honest with them. They have to know where
they stand. One of the hardest questions to answer is when a player comes up
and they are not good enough, and they ask, “What can I do to play more?” The
truthful answer is, “You’re just not good enough.”
Most people won’t say that, but we have to be real with
them. We have to be able to tell them how important it is to maximize your
potential by working as hard as you can, but the reality is, if there are
people that are only giving 50% - 75%, they still might contribute more to
winning than someone else’s 100%.
Here is a good, truthful response: “Here are the things that
you can work on and improve on to steal some minutes … ”
The relationship is them knowing that you care. The
relationship is what keeps them coming back. The relationship is them knowing that
you are willing to tell them the truth, and you are going to do your part in
helping them get better.
One of the issues I have, especially with my own kids, is my expectations are sometimes bigger than the time that I have put in teaching and repping.
Some of the biggest frustrations that I have as a dad and coaches when I expect them to be able to do something right away or even worse when I haven't even taught or explained it.
It is important to teach and practice. It sounds so simple, but sometimes we need to be reminded of the simple things.
And don't forget the practice part. Coaches spend hours teaching certain skills and concepts. It takes time to learn something new. Don't think that we can just tell them something and that they will be able to automatically implement it in the game. Sometimes they can, but a lot of times, it just takes reps and reps to master something.R
Repetition is the father of learning. Remember the 10,000 rule. Keep teaching.
Crystal Dunn is a member of the USWNT soccer team. She is really good and starred as a left defender in the last World Cup while shutting down many of the other teams' best attackers. What is really cool about her story is that she was surprisingly cut from the 2015 World Cup. It devasted her to the point where she wanted to quit playing. But she talked in the video below about her mindset coming out of the disappointment and how she bounced back. It is a great lesson on how to handle adversity, moving on, and accepting and embracing life's challenges.
PARENTS: It's important to help our kids move in quickly from adversity - whether it is one play in a game or a long-term setback like not making the team.
This article here lists a few tips for bouncing back from adversity.
One of the biggest mistakes young athletes make is that they let one play linger on too long in their minds, and it affects their play.
We have to be able to move on to the next play. The next play is always the most important play, and if you aren't able to move on to the next play, your game suffers and it hurts your team.
Don't let the last play affect you longer than it should. It could be a good play or a bad play. Athletes have to be able to move on to the next play. Nobody really cares about what happened. They need to care about what is happening.
Each new play is a new opportunity to do something special.
Don't let the past keep you from doing something special now.
Here are 6 questions that you can ask yourself (or your athlete) to help them stay present and in the moment:
1 - What am I doing right now?
2 - What am I supposed to be doing right now?
3 - What is my job?
4 - What is the most important thing to do right now?
Being a girl dad and a girl coach, I am often asked what the difference is between coaching girls and boys. My most common answer is that I spend most of my time building up my high school girls' confidence, and I spent most of my time managing my high school boys' confidence. I was always finding ways to get my boys to have more realistic expectations of their abilities, as they would usually overestimate their abilities and performances. I find that I spend an almost equal amount of time building up my girls and getting them to understand how good they are, because they usually underestimate their ability and performance. With the high school boys, they were always thinking that they were better than their individual opponents. In practice and games, they usually have no problem going one on one and breaking away from the team game. We would spend a lot of time watching film breaking down when we took a good shot vs. when we should have passed the ball for a better shot. With my high school girls, I had to get them to be more confident in taking shots and chances. In practice and games, they usually looked to pass the ball or run the play all of the ways through, and I would spend time teaching them and showing them opportunities to be aggressive independently. I hate speaking in generalizations and stereotyping, but I want to be the best coach that I can be for my daughter and others, and these are the observations that I have seen personally, and there are studies that agree with this. But as I coach my 9-year-old, 4th-grade daughter and her teammates, I find that they are on par with their male counterparts in terms of confidence. For the most part, they don't lack the confidence of the boys. So what happens between 4th-grade and high school? Studies have shown that girls emerge from adolescence with a poor self-image, relatively low expectations from life, and much less confidence in themselves and their abilities than boys. This is a trend that is reported in many adult studies as well. So, as a girl dad, one of my goals is beating this trend by helping my girls with their confidence and helping them keep their confidence. 5 steps that I have seen that will help are: 1 - Identify Your Self-Limiting Beliefs See when and where there are negative thoughts. See what triggers those negative thoughts. To beat a lack of confidence, we have to find out where it starts, and it starts with an action and in our mind. 2 - Challenge Your Negative Thoughts When you start to think negatively, stop, and think about something positive. Think about a time when you were successful. Imagine that a friend came to you needing help with thinking positively. How would you respond or give them advice about thinking positively? Use that advice. 3 - Change Your Thoughts The final part is to replace those negative thoughts with positive thoughts. This might be an all-day, everyday thing, but confidence starts in the mind. 4 - Own You Achievements When you do something successfully, find a way to remember and store that memory so that when you aren't feeling confident, you can come back and think about times when you were successful. 5 - Contain Your Failures Monitor how you respond to failure. When something goes wrong, own your part, but don't unfairly place blame on yourself for things out of your control. 6 - Identify Role Models Having visible, strong female role models can inspire women and help them cope with stressful situations that they encounter in their careers. Representation is important. Help your daughters find strong female role models that they can look up to.
Your ability (and willingness) to listen, learn, and apply what you coach teaches you is one of the biggest indicators of your future success.
The best athletes have talent, but they are also talented learners.
They want to know more.
They want to be better.
They want to learn. They want to grow.
Be a sponge. When your coach is talking and teaching, try to soak up all of the knowledge that you can. The more you know, the more tools in your tool box.
Pay attention to all of the little details. Each detail that you master can make you that much better, stronger, faster, and quicker.
How can you be better than the next man if you aren’t better than your previous self? Use others as measuring sticks but don’t compare, you’re not them! Do something every day to push yourself forward to maximize YOU! • Be consistent with your work: Preparation, Consistency, Mindset, REPS. • Find/Create motivation from within. Work with pride. • Kill the excuses, all of them. Don’t entertain them. Be about it. • Surround yourself with people that have your best interest and will support your journey, even the low moments. • Enjoy the process, the moments. Ride the highs, feel the lows. Balance the two and flow.
I was listening to a Joyce Meyer podcast, and she said that if you do these three things and you will find success:
1 - Whatever you do, do it with excellence.
2 - Be a person of integrity.
3 - Keep strife out of your life and your work.
Excellence is not perfection. It means you do the best you can with what you have.
Make sure that your foundation, roots, and character is strong. Having good, strong character is the first step to sustained success.
Being excellent means that you go the extra mile. Don’t just stop at mediocre. Going beyond that.
It means that you show up when you are supposed to and do your job – especially when no one is looking.
It is important to keep your word. It is important to do what you tell people you are going to do, and it is important to do it to the best of your ability.
These three things will help you build the foundation that you need to be great. Master the small things first. You are what you do. You get out if it what you put in. If you do everything that you say with excellence and avoid strife, you set yourself up to achieve all of your goals.
