Earning Your Spot In College | MJ Mondays

Even the great Michael Jordan said there were a lot of doubters when he was trying to pick schools, but his dad pushed him to go to North Carolina. It's important to have people in our corner who believe in us more than we believe in ourselves sometimes.

Jordan said Coach Dean Smith, the legendary North Carolina basketball coach, would challenge you mentally. He made you think. He never cursed, he kept you humble, and he gave you confidence by giving you compliments when he thought you needed it.

Jordan said he was afraid of Coach Smith because Coach Smith was a huge name in North Carolina. He said that it was intimidating the way that he controlled practice. Every minute was thought out and he was very demanding.

When Jordan got to North Carolina as a freshman, there had only been four freshman starters. His goal was just to get on the court and make an impact. He said, 

"I am listening to what the coaches want, and I'm competing my butt off. I'm trying to impress all of them. I'm not trying to con anybody. I'm competing, and I'm trying to earn the highest accolades. I wanted them to know that I listened, that I applied what I was learning, that I worked hard every single day. I wanted them to know I would be the first guy onto the floor and the last one to leave."

We all want to get on that court and help our team win. But you have to earn that. It's done every day in practice, and it's done by what you do between practices and the work that you put in on your own.

Week 8 Devotional | Trust

 TRUST

“With anything that you are dealing with, pray, trust God, and stay busy being a blessing to others.”

I always tell my players, “If you want to play more, I have to be able to TRUST you more. I have to be able to TRUST that you can execute what we do and teach in practice. I have to be able to TRUST that you will show up to practice and games ready to work and ready to compete. I have to be able to TRUST that you will be able to fight through the adversity that WILL come.”

As athletes, we have to TRUST ourselves and the work that we put in. Every practice and every game, we are going to do some good things and we are going to do some bad things. No matter what, we have to TRUST that we can bounce back and do and execute what we have worked on. You have to believe in yourself and you have to TRUST yourself. That TRUST comes from putting time working on your game. The more you work and the harder you work, the more consistent you will become and the more you can TRUST yourself.

The same can be said for your relationship with Jesus. He wants us to believe in him and TRUST in him. When Jesus sent the disciples out as sheep in the midst of wolves to share his message, he told them, “Beware of men, for they will deliver you over to courts and flog you in their synagogues (Matthew 10:17).” But he also said, “When they deliver you over, do not be anxious how you are to speak or what you are to say, for what you are to say will be given to you, for it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you (Matthew 10:19-20).” He told them to trust that God will deliver the words that they need to speak.

Even when the Pharisees and people to whom he was preaching questioned him and asked for a sign from heaven, Jesus said, “Why does this generation seek a sign? Truly, I say to you, no sign will be given to this generation (Mark 8:12).” Jesus also said, “You will be hated by all for my name’s sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved (Matthew 10:22).” We have to TRUST him.

Finally, after preaching to and feeding 5,000 people on 5 loaves of bread and two fish, Jesus made the disciples get into their boat and go to the other side of the sea while he dismissed the crowds. After the fourth watch of the night, Jesus came to them, walking on the sea. When the disciples saw him, they were terrified, but immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid (Matthew 14:27).” When we are afraid, we have to TRUST him.

We have to do our part. We have to put in the work. We have to show up early, leave late, and do our work between practices. We have to show that we can be TRUSTED. But we can always trust in God. We can always TRUST Jesus. Just like in sports, that TRUST is built in the work we put in. Read your Bible, say your prayers, and find time every day to find peace and quiet and talk to God.

That is where TRUST is built.

THIS WEEK

1 - Trust God. Trust that He will take care of what you can’t. Trust that He will take care of the problems, challenges, and adversity you are dealing with. Just do your part by working hard and being a great teammate.

2 - What can your teammates trust you with? What are 1-3 things that your coaches and teammates can trust that you will do every practice and every game?

3 - Read Genesis 12:1-3 and think about ways that you can serve other people. Find ways to be a blessing to your teammates, classmates, co-workers, and anybody that you come in contact with. You are blessed to be a blessing.

4 - What is one thing that you need to work on? What is one area that you don’t trust yourself with? What is one thing that you can do to improve that trust in yourself?

5 - EXTENDED READING: Read Matthew 10 to see the instructions that Jesus gave to his disciples. Read about the adversity that Jesus told his disciples that they would experience, and think about how Jesus told them to trust God through the process.

To get a Google doc version of this, click here.

Sandwich Your Criticism

Have you ever tried coaching your athletes hard and they give you attitude or shut down on you? It is frustrating when I can't coach my athletes the way that I need to coach them, and sometimes I don't understand why they won't let me teach them the way that I need to teach them without shutting down. But the NCAA transfer portal is one of many indicators that let us know how important it is to think about the way we communicate to our athletes in today's world.

One simple thing that I have learned to do is sandwich the meat of the conversation - the hard stuff - between the positive stuff. As often as I can, I try to sandwich my coaching and criticism between positive comments. It helps. At the end of many practices, I do let my athletes know that many coaches in their lives won't be as nice in the way that they deliver their messages, and they have to learn how to find the message in the coaching, criticism, or yelling so that they are prepared for different coaching styles as they grow up. I want to give them the best experience that I can while preparing them for different coaching styles that they might encounter.

Two more pro-tips that I have learned are that it is more effective to deliver the criticism in a positive way, and it is important to give them action items that they can do or correct in the teaching process. It is not enough to tell them what they are doing wrong. We have to give them options on how to fix it.

Here are a few examples:

- "You aren't taking good shots."
- "You are playing hard and being aggressive. You have to take better shots in rhythm. Keep playing hard, and keep being aggressive."

- "You have to do a better job on defense."
- "You are getting in position, but you have to keep your girl in front of you. Keep working hard to get in position, move your feet, and stay in front. I believe in you."

- "You can rush the quarterback harder than you are doing."
- "You made some great tackles, but you can do a better job of getting to the quarterback. Try the swim move that we worked on, keep being creative, and keep pushing."

- "You didn't do a great job of taking care of the ball today."
- "I love how you are trying new things, but we have to make sure that we are still taking care of the ball while we do this. Keep pushing and keep being creative!

As with most of these sports posts, this works at home with your spouse and kids at home, and this works with the people that you work with.

STEM is Hard for Everyone

This isn't sports-related, but it is. I have seen many high school and college freshmen struggle when they stepped up to a new, tougher stage. We see and celebrate the Mal Pugh's, Luka Doncic's, and Naomi Osaka's of the sports world and marvel at how they can be so dominant so early.

But we don't always notice the growth of someone like Dana Evans, the star basketball player at Louisville who came off the bench her first two years before becoming the ACC player of the year as a junior.

She was an All-American in high school, but she struggled her first year of college to earn meaningful playing time. She didn't quit and she didn't transfer. She learned, she grinded and she kept getting better.

Leveling up is hard for everyone. Stay curious and stay persistent.

Mia Hamm and Coach Dorrance - The Vision of a Champion

Mia Hamm is one of the best soccer players to ever play, and she played for one of the best coaches and in one of the best college programs in the history of the sport when she played for coach Anson Dorrance at the University of North Carolina. When she was at North Carolina, they won four consecutive National Championships, and her team only lost one game of the 95 that she played on the team.

You don't become the best without hard work. Coach Dorrance says, "The final measure of athletic greatness is not what you do in the training sessions with your peers and teammates - it's what you do on your own."

In the video below, Coach Dorrance shares his favorite story about Mia. He was driving to campus one day during Mia's senior year early on a cold, late winter morning. He said he stopped and saw Mia going through their grueling fitness exercise alone in a cold park. She was running through a cone drill where she had to sprint 5 yards and back, 10 yards, 15, 20, and 25 yards and back. In between sprints, he said that he could see her bent over with sweat flying off of her.

He was so impressed that when he got to work, he wrote this note for her:

10 years later, Mia wrote a book and put the words from the note in the book. Coach Dorrance said that this was the most heartfelt gift that he has received from any of his players.

If you want to be the best, you have to be willing to do the toughest, hardest drills that your coach gives your team, by yourself, in cold weather. If you don't, there is a Mia Hamm out there who will.

Also, find ways to thank your coaches and show them that you appreciate them. It matters.

One of the things that I try to stress to my athletes and my own kids is the importance of doing work outside of practice. Everybody goes to practice, so it's harder to separate yourself in practice.

If you really want to be the best that you can be and maximize your athletic ability, you have to put time and work in on your own. On your own time is when you can fine-tune your individual game so that you are ready to execute in practice and in games. On your own is when you do extra conditioning so that you are in the best shape that you can be in practices and games. On your own is when you stretch so that your body is prepared to perform, and on your own is when you watch film - of yourself and others - so that your mind is ready to perform.

If you want to be great, tell me what you did on your own last week, and tell me what's you are going to do on your own this week.

Coaching The Hopeless Athlete

Have you ever had an athlete whose default mode when learning something new and difficult was to shut down?

I have had a couple like that. They would just shut down, pout, and sometimes cry and quit when they would have to learn something new or practice something that they weren't good at. It was a lack of confidence and a feeling of hopelessness that was equally sad and frustrating as a coach. We know and try to communicate that the path to getting better is filled with obstacles and failures and misses. These athletes didn't want any part of the failure process that is necessary to get better.

So, what do you do with these athletes? I was reading a book called, "Building a Bridge from "I Can't to I Did.'" They named this 'Learned Helplessness.' Learned helplessness is when an athlete believes that they have no control over their ability to improve and master something. Every great athlete needs self-efficacy - the belief that they have the ability to get better. Part of our job as coaches is to help them reach their goals, maximize their experience, and maximize their potential. That often involves getting them to do things that they don't want to do so that they can have the things that they want to have. But how do you do that when they don't even have the belief in themselves to push through the hard times?

Creating the Right Environment
The first step is making sure that you have the right environment for all kids to learn and grow. Creating a growth-mindset environment built on relationships and connections so that all of the athletes know that risks are welcome and encouraged and mistakes are met with correction. One way that I have heard it put is to have an environment of high expectations built on relationships, trust, and unity.

A good practice is asking your players what they want to accomplish as athletes and as a team. Ask them what they feel confident about, and ask them what they think they need to get better at. Also, ask them how you, as their coach and leader, can help them grow and get better, and ask them how they want you to communicate, coach, and correct them in a way that they will respond.

Lower Their Affective Filter
We all have what is called an affective filter. When that filter is up and high, we go into fight, flight, or freeze mode. There, we meet instruction and correction (coaching) with either anger, we freeze, or we shut down altogether. Our brains have two main purposes - to learn and to survive. When our filters are up, we go into survival mode. We have to keep those filters low so that we can learn and get better. We do that by creating a learning environment, and by the way that we communicate with our athletes. I am not saying that we have to be soft. We can be as tough as the toughest coaches we have ever had. But the tougher we are, the more risk we have of raising those filters on our athletes, and the stronger the relationships, communication, connections, and trust we need to have with our athletes so that they know the why behind the tough-love.

High Expectations
The Opportunity Myth found that the most important factor to student success is how much their teacher believes in them and their ability. Our expectations for our athletes have as much to do with their ability to get better than anything else we can do for them. If we have high expectations, we teach them and coach them at a higher level. The drills, skills, and plays that we teach increase in rigor when our expectations are high. But they will need support to live up to these expectations.

Crucial Conversations

- Tell them that we are learning something new and hard and that they should expect to make mistakes through the learning process.

- Talk to them before practice about some of the things that they are doing better, about some of the things that you are going to help them get better at.

- Ask them what their goals are, what they can do to reach those goals, and ask them how you can best help them on this journey.

- Talk to them about things that they like outside of sports too.

- Provide appropriate support, and build on what they already know.

- Make sure that everything you do is relevant and that your athletes know the purpose. We can throw any drill out there and force them to do it - we are the coach. But you will get more engagement and they will work harder for you if they see how the drills can translate to them becoming better players and increase their roles and opportunities. They need to know that what they are doing has a clear purpose that is part of a bigger picture.

- Make sure that your directions and instructions are clear so that they know what they are supposed to do, how to do it, and what success looks like.

- Have clear, organized plans for how you do things. When they don't have a clear idea of what they are supposed to be doing, their filter rises and they get thrown into fight, flight or freeze mode.

MJ Mondays | Bouncing Back From Getting Cut

The story of Michael Jordan not making the varsity team when he was a sophomore is a well-known story in the sports world. Jordan said that the team was already stacked, but he felt like he was good enough to contribute. He had to play JV all season, and even after averaging 26 or 27 points a game, Coach Pop Herring still didn't move him up to the varsity when the JV season ended like he had done for other JV players in the past.

Instead of transferring or quitting, MJ just kept pushing and working. He was allowed to travel to the varsity games, but he had to either pay for a ticket or carry the jerseys to get in the games.

COACH HERRING WAS THE FIRST ONE TO SEE IN ME 

WHAT I SAW IN MYSELF.

Over the course of the season, MJ would work out with his coach every morning at 6:30. They would work on shooting, ball-handling, and play 1 on 1 for an hour before school. MJ's coach made a big poster with all of the drills listed, and they would go through them every day. He said that most days he enjoyed it, but some days he didn't feel like going. Those were the days that his coach had to push him.

MOST DAYS I ENJOYED IT.

SOME DAYS I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE GOING. 

BUT THOSE WERE THE DAYS COACH HERRING WOULD PUSH ME.

Jordan said that as he got better, his confidence grew. He said that he was like a sponge, and when he got a glimpse of what success looked like, his blood started rushing. All he wanted to do was to improve and get better.

The process is tough. It is full of ups and downs. But the one thing that has to be consistent is the work ethic. Michael Jordan and his coach created a plan. They had a set time, and they had a list of drills. Set your goals, create your own plan, and execute. And find someone who can hold you accountable and push you when you need to be pushed and pull you when you need to be pulled.

For more information, check out Driven From With by Michael Jordan.

Week 7 Devotional | Love

LOVE

“Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”

The best teams have great teammates. Great teammates care about each other. Great teammates love each other. Great teammates support, encourage, and inspire each other. Ephesians 5:2 says that we should walk in love as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us. We should love the people around us, we should look to serve the people around, us, and we should look for ways to help the people around us look better, feel better, do better, and be better.

These are some qualities of great teammates: 

• They bring out the best in each other.
• They support each other.
• They inspire and encourage each other.
• They help each person meet their needs.
• They go out of their way to help and support one another.
• They are happy when one of their teammates do well.
• They show a teammate who failed that they are still a valued member of the team.
• They tell each other the truth.
• They fiercely defend each other against any threats.
• They argue but know that the relationships will be just fine.
• They share the pain of their teammates.
• They selflessly give what they have to each other.

In the Gospel, Jesus was asked, "What is the greatest commandment?" Jesus answered, "The greatest commandment is to love God with all of your heart. The second greatest commandment is to love your neighbor as you love yourself."

We should live to love. We should love our teammates as we love ourselves. Every day, look for ways to do something for somebody. We need to walk in love, and not just talk about love. We need to BE great teammates, and not just talk about being great teammates. The only way to have a happy, powerful life and career is to get yourself off of your mind and do something for your teammates and others. Find ways to support and love the people around you. Find ways to help the people around you feel better and do better.

This Week

1 - Read Ephesians chapter 5, and reflect on versus 1-20.

2 - What is one way that you can show your teammates that you love them? You can choose one of the ideas from the list above, or you can choose your own thought or idea.

3 - What is one way that you wish your teammates showed you more love?

4 - Who is the best teammate that you have ever had? What made them your best teammate?

5 - What is one thing that you can do to be the best teammate that you can be?

Click here for a Google Doc version of this devotional: Week 7 | Love

The Curse of Perfectionism

The Curse of Perfectionism is when you think you need to be perfect at something, and when you allow that thinking to hold you back from taking risks and trying new things because you are nervous or afraid you are going to mess up or fail (or miss a shot).

I knew a basketball player that was afraid to shoot because he was afraid of missing. He let The Curse of Perfectionism keep him from taking good shots in practice and games. Even though I told him over and over again that most players miss most of the shots that they shoot, he was still so worried about missing that he wouldn't shoot. When he would shoot and miss, he would put his head down and lose his confidence.

We had to work hard to create a growth mindset and learning environment where we maintained high expectations while letting everyone know that mistakes are a part of the learning process. We were open and honest in saying that the best learn quickly from their mistakes so that they don't repeat them over and over again, but the best also act with courage to get past their nervousness and fears. You can't be great without having the courage to overcome your fears. You can't be great without going for it. You can't be great without missing a few shots along the way.

Our players needed to know that they can't shoot just any shot. They had to work on their shooting in practice and outside of practice, but they also had to know that the more time they put into shooting and the more reps and shots that they did on their own shooting the ball, the more confidence they would have.

For our player, we watched game and practice film so that we could identify good shots and spots for him. We worked before and after practice on shooting those shots that we identified for him so that he could build up his confidence and efficiency. We told him that we would be more upset with him passing up good shots than we would if he missed. He got the picture, he got better, and we got better.

Don't let perfectionism hold you back. Put in the time and work to build up the confidence that you need to go play the game like you want to play it.

1 - Is there an area of your life where the fear of messing up is holding you back?

2 - Do you know and truly understand that nobody is perfect, everybody makes mistakes, and making mistakes is part of the learning process?

3 - What is one thing that you can do to fight against The Curse of Perfectionism?

The Courage of Mariah

I once knew a soccer player who was one of the greatest goal scorers I had ever seen. Mariah's team could always rely on her to get a goal or two. Even in the biggest games against the best teams, her team could count on her to make sure that they walked away with one more goal than their opponent.

But the most impressive game that I ever saw Mariah play was in a state championship game in high school. It wasn't impressive because she played a great game, it was impressive because she struggled all game but never quit.

In this game, Mariah was matched up against a big, physical, and fast defender. It seemed like she was knocked off her ball every time he touched it. She couldn't get anything going, she couldn't do anything right, and she couldn't beat this defender. But Mariah kept moving, she kept working, and she kept asking for the ball. She never stopped. You could tell she was frustrated, but she just kept pushing through.

With a few minutes left in a 0-0 game, Mariah finally made a move to beat the defender, she attacked the goal, and she put in a shot that bounced off the goal post before crashing into the net. Mariah kept pushing through until she finally got her goal, and that goal made her and her teammate's champions.

What I learned at that moment was that the best isn't the best because they are perfect. Sometimes the best are the best because they just don't stop. Mariah could have easily put her head down, pouted, and quit. But she didn't. She just kept pushing. She knew that it only took one special moment for her to break through and score her goal.

I wonder how hard it was for her to keep trying to beat someone who kept taking the ball from her? I wonder if she felt fear? I wonder if, at some point, she became fearful of receiving the ball and fearful of trying to take her on 1 v 1 because she kept getting beat? I wonder what made her keep going?

It takes courage to be great at anything because being great at something requires taking a risk. There is going to be some failure, and there is going to be some adversity. But like Mariah had in this soccer game, you have to have the courage to keep trying, because if you keep trying, you will breakthrough.

This story reminds me of the wonderful Maya Angelou quote:

Having courage does not mean that we are unafraid. Having courage and showing courage means we face our fears. We can say, "I have fallen, but I will get up."

Mariah kept getting up. She probably kept saying the word 'courage' in her head over and over again, especially when she felt fear. We have to talk to ourselves so that we have positive thoughts going through our brains and not negative and fearful thoughts.

Prove Yourself and Lead By Example | MJ Mondays

"Today, players receive the rewards before they prove their worth, if you look around, you'll see that it happens in a lot of places, not just sports."

- Michael Jordan

Michael Jordan was asked years ago if there would be another Michael Jordan. He said yes, but it would be harder. He said that it would be harder because players are given a lot before they have proven themselves. Today, players can be known around the world while still in high school.

Jordan said that he always wanted to prove what he could do, and even though he was the 3rd pick in the NBA draft, the established players like Larry Bird, Magic Johnson, and Dr. J were the clear stars.

When my play started providing me with rewards, then I wanted to prove I deserved them. I never felt the desire to rest on what I had accomplished. I never felt like I deserved to drive a Bentley when I got my first contract, or live in a mansion. Those things might be symbols of success, but a lot of people confuse symbols with actual success.

Great leaders lead by example. You can't demand respect because of a title or a position and expect people to follow. That might work for a little while, but in the long run, people respond to what they see. They might even listen, but they usually will act based on the actions of the person talking.

If you want to be a leader and if you want to be as good as you can and maximize your potential, you have to put in the work. You can't cut corners, and you can't skip steps. If you come early, you can expect your teammates to come early. If you stay late, you can expect your teammates to stay late. If you come late and leave early, you can expect your teammates to do so as well. You can't skip steps, and you can't cut corners.

You can't expect the rewards before you put in the effort, and you can't expect the rewards before you prove yourself.

As Michale Jordan's high school coach, Clifton "Pop" Herring, used to say: "It's hard, but it's fair."

NOTHING OF VALUE
COMES WITHOUT BEING EARNED.

Week 6 Devotional | Armor

 ARMOR

“Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.”

Have you ever tried on everything in your closet looking for the right thing to wear? When you look good, you feel good. When you feel good, you play good. Some people crawl out of bed ready to play in whatever jersey their coach lays out without worrying about their accessories. Some people stress over what shoes they are going to wear, the color of their socks, whether they are going to wear knee pads today or not, undershirt or no undershirt, and what about a headband? We want to step into the game feeling good, and part of that is putting on clothes and gear that we feel comfortable and confident in.

God provides us with a uniform that can help us fight the devil, depression, anxiety, stress, and all other evil forces that go against the fruits of the Spirit. It is called the armor of God and we have the ability to put it on every day.

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and sword of the Spirit which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions, with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.”

When you wake up every day and before you put your feet on the ground to get out of the bed, say a quick prayer to God. A couple of things that can be included in your prayer could be receiving a blessing and being a blessing. Pray that you can receive a blessing today. Your prayer could be something as simple as, “God, please help me replace my anxiety and fear with peace, confidence, and joy. And please allow me to be a blessing to those that I am around today.”

Also, put on the armor of God before you walk out of your door.  Put on the belt of truth so that you can have integrity in the big and small things of your life. Put on the breastplate of righteousness so that you can’t be attacked with lies or impurity. Satan wants to get into our hearts and minds, and he is looking for a crack in our armor, so pray that you fill your heart and mind with good things that make you better.. Put on your shoes of peace so that you can approach every situation calmly and with peace and not with anger and defensiveness. Put on your shield of faith so you can fight against any doubts that you might have or any fear that you might face, especially in those big games and big moments. Don’t let any doubt or fear beat you. Put on the helmet of salvation so that you know that no matter what happens in that big game or moment and no matter what happens today or tomorrow, you are saved because Jesus died for us all. Finally put on the sword of the spirit. When we are tempted or struggling, we have the Word of God, the Bible, to lead us and guide us. The sword of the Spirit works. Memorize Scripture and use the Word of God to defeat Satan's lies and attacks.

As you go through this week, remember that you can put on the armor of God. Before you leave the house, make sure that you have put His armor on. Don’t leave without putting on His belt of truth, His breastplate of righteousness, His shield of faith, His helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit.

This Week

1 - What is one small habit that you can implement and master? It could be touching every line, doing all of your homework, or watching more film each day.

2 - What is one area in which you could use more peace? Is there a teammate that you could build a better relationship with? Is there something that brings you anxiety or stress that you can work to overcome?

3 - Are there seeds of doubt that you are experiencing that you could use some more confidence in? What is a habit that you can start that might help you with your doubt?

4 - Know that you are saved. Know that no matter what happens, God loves you, and God has a plan for you.

5 - Use the Spirit of God and the Word of God. Memorize one scripture this week that you can use when you experience doubt, fear, or anxiety. Some good places to start are Ephesians 6:10-11, Jeremiah 29:11, and 2nd Timothy 1:7. Write down one Bible verse that you are going to memorize this week.

Click here for a Google doc version of this devotional: Week 6 Devotional | Armor

4 Questions

Great teams are teams that have coaches who are truth-tellers and players who can listen, take coaching and criticism, and use it to help them be and play better.

There is a team in Texas that was known for having a lot of talent, but they were never able to put it all together to create successful, winning seasons. When they were on, they were on. But when adversity hit, they would start to fight with each other by pointing fingers and blaming others for mistakes.

Coach Rod was ready for a change, so he read Jon Gordon's book, the Power of a Positive Team. Toward the end of the book, a story about Pete Caroll and his time coaching the USC football team stood out and inspired him.

When Carroll was at USC, the Trojans enjoyed an amazing run of success that included a record of 97-19 and winning the 2003 and 2004 AP National Championships. Carroll created "Tell-The-Truth Mondays." The team would get together on Monday's after their game and talk about what they did wrong, how they can improve, and what they needed to do to get better.

Coach Rod knew that for his team to go from good to great, they needed to be able to have difficult conversations. He needed to create brave spaces so that his team could have meaningful and difficult conversations, and he needed to build trust so that those conversations are honest, open, and transparent.

Coach Rod started small and simple with what are called community circles. He began starting every practice by having the team circle up in the middle of the court, and he would ask them a simple question like, "What are music are you listening to," or, "What is something that you are excited about outside of the basketball." His next questions were, "What is something that you feel good about," or, "What is something that you feel comfortable about?" The third question was, "What is something that you are struggling with or something that you aren't comfortable with?" The fourth and final question was, "What can I do, or what can your teammates do to help you be better and do better?"

Asking 4 questions can be a very effective way to build deeper relationships with your athletes. It can help you all grow closer, and it can help you all understand how you can better help each other grow and grow together. These are questions that I use with my coaching staff, questions that I use with my athletes, and questions that I use with my family. I have asked my wife, "What are you excited to do this weekend, or what is one thing you want to do this weekend. What has been the best part of our relationship the past month? What is one area in which our relationship can get better this next month? What can I do to make this the best relationship ever?"

Learning how to tell the truth with your team is a game-changer, but it requires relationship building on the front end. Asking the right questions can help build those relationships faster than anything that I have seen. Here is the template for questions:

Question 1 - Ice Breaker - Ask them something that will get them talking

Examples: What is your favorite color? What is your favorite holiday? What are you excited about outside of basketball? What are you excited to do today, tomorrow, or this weekend? What music are you listening to? What shows or videos are you watching? Android or iPhone?

Question 2 - The Confidence Builder - Ask them about things that they are confident about
Examples that are you most confident about? What part of your role on this team are you the most confident about? What about this practice do you feel best about? What about the new plays are you most excited about? If you had to shoot one shot, where would you shoot it from? What do I do well as a parent, father, or spouse?

Question 3 - The Growth Opportunities - Ask them what they are still unsure or not confident about
Examples: What are you least confident or comfortable about? What is one area that you feel like you need to grow in? What is one area that you are unsure about?

Question 4 - How Can I Help - Ask them what you can do or what the team can do to help them in this process

Example: What can I do to help you with this or through this? How can I help? What can I do better? How can your teammates help? What is the next step? Do we have a good plan?

MJ Mondays - Love the Game Through the Mistakes

One of the reasons that I love coaching kids is because I know the importance of that first practice, that first season, and that first experience.

That first season is a great opportunity to build a foundation of love and fundamentals that can lead to a lifetime relationship between a kid and a ball. But that first season can also be the last if we don't handle it right, and what could have been a beautiful relationship might end before it ever gets the chance to get started.

That is why this quote is so important to me. Everyone has to start somewhere. It starts with airballs, travels, and double dribbles. It starts with missed tackles and running to the wrong end zone. It starts with running from the ball and not to the ball. It starts with misses, strikeouts, and stumbles. But if done right, it also starts with smiles, fun, and friendship while teaching the basics and building off of them.

And the beauty of this quote is that the misses and mistakes never really stop. Michael Jordan wrote this at a time when he was considered one of the best to ever do what he was doing. While he was at his peak and his absolute best, he still acknowledged that he wasn't perfect. He made mistakes and missed over and over again. But he didn't stop, he didn't quit. He kept going. He kept improving.

It started with love. His love for the game. It was built on a foundation of fundamentals and skills. It was driven by a competitive spirit to be the best and a commitment to work to be the best. And for MJ, it was touched by the blessings of height and athleticism that very few have ever been able to match.

We become great not because we are perfect. We become great because we love something and are willing to work at it. We become great when we are willing to work through mistakes and failures.

We miss so many more shots that we make. But our love for the game, for our teammates, and for getting better is what keeps us going.