Week 43 | Great Teammates Hold Each Other Accountable

Former NBA champion Joe Dumars once said, "On good teams, coaches hold players accountable; on great teams, players hold players accountable."

Accountability is an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility for your actions.

Accountable teammates know what is expected of them, and they are empowered to do their best work, while teammates without accountability lack the motivation and discipline needed to achieve their goals.

A lack of accountability is one of the biggest problems that can hold teams back. When nobody wants to be at fault or take responsibility for their mistakes, there can be a lot of finger-pointing and blame within the team. Doing the little things right, every day, like showing up on time, touching the line, and doing your job can be the difference between a winning season and a losing season.

Great teams can't just rely on great coaching to hold teammates accountable; teammates have to be able to do that for each other, and teammates have to be willing to listen to each other and follow each other's lead.

You can build accountability by establishing clear roles, expectations, and responsibilities, and by creating an atmosphere where people are comfortable being honest with each other.

In Matthew, Jesus gives us Biblical instructions on how to hold each other accountable. In Matthew 18:15-17, Jesus tells us how to correct another believer:

"If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won't accept the church's decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector."

I love how Jesus says to start by going privately and pointing out the offense. Some teammates don't mind being addressed publically, but it's probably wise to start small when trying to hold teammates accountable. If you call some teammates out too loud or too publicly, they might shut you out by not listening or responding, or worse, they might fight back. Figure out what works for you, and be flexible enough to be able to use different methods when addressing issues with teammates because what works for you or for one teammate might not work for everybody.

I love how Jesus then says to take one or two others with you if you aren't successful going at it alone. Don't just give up on your teammates; diligently search for ways to connect with each other and help each other grow.

Holding your teammates accountable can be scary and sometimes difficult at first, but don't be afraid to speak up. Leadership requires courage. Courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to do things afraid. Every great team requires great leadership, and great leadership requires great courage.

Find your voice and find ways to effectively lead by setting a great example and by using your voice.

THIS WEEK

1 - How do you want your coaches to praise you and hold you accountable; publicly or privately?

2 - How do you want your teammates to praise you and hold you accountable; publicly or privately?

3 - How are you comfortable holding your teammates accountable?

4 - When is it easiest for you to hold your teammates accountable?

5 - When is it the hardest for you to hold your teammates accountable?

6 - When it gets hard, what is something that you can do to find the courage you need to speak up and hold your teammates accountable?

For a Google doc version of this devo, click here: Great Teammates Hold Each Other Accountable

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline (2 Timothy 1:7).

Mamba Mondays | Kobe and Phil

Like many star players and their coaches, Kobe Bryant and Phil Jackson had a complex relationship. They had a lot of success together, but it was not without their struggles.

They won three championships in a row together, but Phil Jackson wrote that Kobe Bryant was uncoachable, and after losing in the finals to the Detroit Pistons, stopping them from winning four in a row, Phil Jackson left the Lakers.

Jackson returned to Kobe and the Lakers, and they won back-to-back championships during their second run together. Kobe said:

"It took us until our second stint together to realize how we were perfectly suited for one another. During our first go-together, Phil thought I was uncoachable. He thought I questioned his authority and questioned his plans. He thought I didn't listen. When he came back, he realized that I was just very inquisitive and unafraid to ask questions. He realized that that's how I process information and learn. Once he put his pulse on that, he was more patient with me. He was more willing to sit and answer my many questions and talk everything through."

How many times have you thought that one of your athletes, or parents, were being selfish, rude, or uncoachable when they were just trying to learn more about what your vision was, or trying to better understand what you wanted out of your athletes?

Kobe also wrote:

"One of the reasons our relationship worked is because, in a lot of ways, we were polar opposites. Every team needs either a confrontational star player or coach. In San Antonio, Gregg Popovich was that guy and Time Duncan was not. In Golden State, Draymond Green is the confrontational one; Steve Kerr is not. For us, Phil was not that type of person, so I provided that force. You always have to have that balance and counterbalance, and Phil and I were perfectly suited for each other in that way."

This is why diversity is so valuable. We all bring something different and unique to the team. We have to be willing and unafraid to be who we are, and we have to create a culture where everyone is free to be themselves and shine in their role.

Week 42 | Lost Sheep

In our house, we have a saying: No Troll Left Behind. For us, this means nobody is left to do life alone no matter what is going on. We are family, and we do what we can for each other. When someone does well, we celebrate together. When someone is struggling, we rally around them and support them as they find their way back.

We also try to live this out in sports. When someone new comes to our team, we try to make them feel like they are an important part of our sports family. We do whatever we can to welcome them in, and we do whatever we can to bring them along with us.

But on most teams, somebody gets left behind at one point or another. It might take someone a little longer than the others to learn a play, a skill, or a rotation, and it can be frustrating for a teammate or a coach waiting for a teammate to catch up, but No Troll Left Behind. It is our job as teammates and friends to do everything we can to help catch them up and to support them.

Every athlete has a decision to make: Am I willing to do what it takes to be successful? But every coach and teammate also has a decision to make: Am I willing to do everything I can to create a space and provide the support that helps everyone on my team be successful? And if they aren't being successful, what am I willing to do or change to help them?

In Matthew 18, Jesus shares 'The Parable of the Lost Sheep' with his disciples. Jesus said:

For the Son of Man has come to save that which was lost. What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them goes astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine and go to the mountains to seek the one that is straying? And if he should find it, assuredly, I say to you, he rejoices more over that sheep than over the ninety-nine that did not go astray. Even so, it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish.

God wants all to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth (1 Timothy 2:4). He is not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance (2 Peter 3:9)

What does it mean to come to repentance? Repentance means to change your mind. God knows that none of us are perfect, but He wants us all to live good lives, which means making the right choices and doing the right things. When we don't, He wants us to repent - to admit that we have sinned or done wrong, ask for forgiveness, and then choose to live right and holy every day.

Part of that is looking for lost sheep, helping lost sheep come back, and being supportive of lost sheep.

Every team needs great teammates who will support and be there for everyone through the good and the bad. We all make mistakes because no one is perfect. When we do, we need people looking for us and helping us come back like lost sheep, and we need people to rejoice when we find our way back.

THIS WEEK

1 - Be a searcher for lost sheep. When someone is struggling, do what you can to be supportive and help them. Then, rejoice and celebrate with and for them when they find success.

2 - Sometimes, it can be easy to give up on teammates because of their attitude and ability. Instead of giving up on people, what can you do to be a supportive teammate through success and adversity?

For a Good doc version of this devo, click here: Lost Sheep

Mamba Mondays | Good vs Great Coaches

In his book, Mamba Mentality, Kobe Bryant wrote, “A good coach is of utmost importance.”

Young Kobe was out to prove himself to the world, and I’m sure he gave his earlier coaches headaches, but as he aged, so did his wisdom, and he spoke highly of and with respect for great coaching.

Kobe also wrote this:

“Coaches are teachers. Some coaches—lesser coaches—try telling you things. Good coaches, however, teach you how to think and arm you with the fundamental tools necessary to execute properly. Simply put, good coaches make sure you know how to use both hands, how to make proper reads, and how to understand the game. Good coaches tell you where the fish are, and great coaches teach you how to find them. That’s the same at every level.

In certain situations, like in the midst of a game, good coaches relay execution information. They point out what specifically is and isn’t working. Based on that and your own feel for the game, you utilize some of that information immediately and you save some of it in your back pocket for crucial moments during the game. Then, when the time is right … boom!”

I love when he said, “Coaches are teachers. Some coaches tell you things, good coaches teach you how to think and arm you with the tools to execute properly. Good coaches tell you where the fish are, great coaches teach you how to find them.”

Teach your athletes how to think. Give them the tools they need to execute and be successful. Teach them how to fish, then let them loose with guidance, support, and feedback!

Week 41 | One Bad Apple

Have you ever been on a team where one athlete's bad attitude affected everyone in the group? There is a saying that, "One bad apple spoils the bunch." The phrase is used to describe a situation in which one person's negative attitude can negatively affect the entire group, causing them to have a similar negative attitude.

I'm not sure how or where this phrase began, but it does have some basis in science. When apples begin to decay, they emit gasses. If the rotting apple is mixed in with other apples, the good apples can absorb the gasses and begin to rot as well.

It is important to keep good apples away from bad apples.

I've had similar experiences on teams. I have had teams become torn apart because the negative attitudes and behaviors of one teammate went unchecked.

I have also had similar experiences with individual athletes. They allow one bad apple, one negative influence, or one correctable character flaw to negatively affect who they are, and it kills their potential and eventually their career.

We have to guard ourselves against bad apples, but can we do so while trying to help them or without removing them from our lives?

In Matthew 18, Jesus preached about bad apples. When His disciples asked Him who was the greatest in the kingdom, Jesus said to them, "Whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

He then said:

"If anyone causes one of these little ones - those who believe in me - to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the seas. Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come! If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. And if your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell."

Jesus makes it clear that we should not be bad apples. We aren't supposed to cause anyone to stumble, or anyone to sin, and if we have something in our lives that causes us to stumble or sin, we are supposed to cut it out.

When we are a part of a team, we don't have the ability to cut out the bad apples, but we do have to protect ourselves, our thoughts, and our behaviors. Peer pressure can be tough and easy to fall into, and it can be hard to stand up for yourself and fight against negative influences and bullying. But we have to choose, every day, to be strong in the Lord and to put on the full armor of God and think the right things, say the right things, and do the right things (Ephesians 6:10-18).

Today, right now, think about what kind of person you want to be. Write it down. Then live it out. Be determined to be the person you want to be and live the life you want to live, no matter what is going on around you. When you make that decision, there will still be bad apples around you, but you will also see the good apples too, the people who want to live life like you.

Decide today to put on the armor of God, and do good things!!

THIS WEEK

1 - Decide on what kind of apple you are going to be. Are you going to be one who is positive, encouraging, and approaches everything with energy and enthusiasm, or are you going to be negative, bring people down, and fold when faced with adversity?

2 - When good things are happening, how are you going to share your positive energy with others?

3 - When adversity hits, how are you going to stay positive and keep doing the next, right thing?

4 - What is a Bible verse or story, or who is a good example that you can follow?

For me, every day morning I will read Ephesians 6:10-17:

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world, and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord's people. 

For a Google doc version of this devo, click here: One Bad Apple 

Putting it into Practice With Napheesa Collier

Napheesa Collier is a basketball superstar in the WNBA. She sat down with Brett Ledbetter at What Drives Winning and was asked some questions about being a leader, saying, 'No,' and confidence.

Question 1: As a leader, you have to be able to hold the people around you accountable. Everybody leads in a different way, and you have to know the people around you, and their personalities, and try to help them be the best they can be in their own way.

NC: Delivery is really important. You can say something two different ways; one way will help a person, and one way will cause them to shut down for the rest of the game. The way that you talk to people is so important.

I don't mind getting yelled at by my coach, but if you yell at some people, you aren't going to get anything else out of them. And some people need to be yelled at; they don't like to be talked to nicely.

Question 2: A lot of performers are pleasers because they want the fans to like what they are doing. The hardest thing for pleasers to do is to say no, but the higher you go, sometimes being able to say no is one of the most important skills that you can have. What are your thoughts about that?

NC: I've learned that saying no is a perfectly acceptable response. If you aren't comfortable doing something, you need to be able to say no because people will give as much as you let them give, so you have to set boundaries and you have to know what your limits are, and hold steady to those.

Question 3: How do you not allow whether the ball is going in on one side, not to dictate your effort on the other side?

It sucks not scoring, and it is really, really frustrating. But when that happens, it makes me focus harder on defense because if I'm not helping my team on this end, I need to be able to help them on the other end. I can't just be out here being useless and hurting us on both sides of the floor.

Question 4: As you think about your mentality, what is something you wish would have happened sooner for you that would have prevented some of the headaches?

My mentality. Confidence is something that ebbs and flows throughout the season, but believing in myself the whole time fixes so many things. For some professional players, 90% of their game is confidence, and it is so important and can make you a totally different player. It doesn't matter how talented you are; if you aren't confident in yourself, you are not going to be a good player. Confidence changes your entire game.

Brett added these two quotes that I really liked:

I heard a coach say, "If I had to choose between someone being overconfident or delusional, I would take delusional 100 times."

A lot of your likeability is based on other people's self-interest. If they like you or don't like you says more about them than it says about them.

A Culture of Growth

A couple of weeks ago, I was helping coach a new team, and a girl kept dribbling the ball with her left hand even though the right side was open. I told her that she would never get better at driving right if she never did it. I told her that she was going to mess up at first and make mistakes, but mistakes are okay and an important part of learning.

She looked at me confused and asked, "So you are telling me it's okay to make mistakes?" This poor kid has been playing her entire career afraid to mess up, and it had been stunting her growth.

I have been on teams where athletes were so afraid to make mistakes, they shut down. 

I have also been on teams where the athletes were encouraged to try new things, make mistakes, and learn from those mistakes. This kind of team has what professor Mary Murphy calls, A Culture of Growth.

My youngest daughter plays on a competitive soccer team. While most coaches emphasize spacing the field and using passing to beat your defenders, her coaches emphasize using your skill to beat your defender. The mindset is, if you can gain the confidence and skill to take on your defenders, you will be a much better, more dynamic, and well-rounded player when you get older.

That mindset of being able to take on and defeat challenges is a life skill that will help you in all aspects beyond sports. Every day as an adult, I face challenges that I can either pass on to someone else, or I can figure out how to attack and beat. Sometimes the challenge is too great and we need help, but oftentimes, we need the confidence to try, the confidence to fail, and the resilience to bounce back and try again.

When my daughter loses the ball (after we tell her to get her ball back) we tell her that she will lose the ball so many more times than she will succeed. If we get one or two goals a game, that is a success in some leagues. There are very few 'Magic Moments' when you break down an entire team cleanly to get a clear shot on goal. Most of your shots come from trying a move, losing the ball, and working to get it back over and over as you build up the field. Most of your shots are blocked by the goalie. But the ones who don't stop, the ones who keep going, the ones who fight to get their ball back when they lose it and keep shooting when they get their shots blocked are the ones who eventually fight through to get their goal.

But it all starts at the top. It starts with having a Culture of Growth where the coaches have Growth Mindsets -  the belief that our abilities are malleable, changeable, and growable, and that we can improve them - through effort, practice, and over time with support.

Growth Cultures are TOUGH. They have high expectations, and they push you to reach them. But they provide support, and the space to try, fail, learn, and try again. Growth Cultures have coaches who say, "We are going to help you learn how to be better and do better. We are going to identify your strengths, and we are going to help you identify your flaws and weakness so that we can improve them."

Athletes respond differently to a Growth Culture. They are more excited to come to practice, and no matter how tough it was, they leave energized and ready for more.

Mary Murphy was asked, "What's the most important thing parents and teachers should know about growth mindset?"

She mentioned a study where kids were asked to solve unsolvable problems. Their parents were there, and they either helped them problem-solve by saying things like - "Try something new," or, "Have you thought about this?" Or the parents just winced and made faces every time their kid made a mistake. 

The parents' responses predicted their child's behavior.

Creating a Culture of Growth doesn't mean everyone gets a trophy. It doesn't mean that we are softer or easier on our athletes. When we have a Culture of Growth, we can be tougher and more demanding on our athletes because we are giving them the belief, confidence, and support they need to overcome obstacles and adversity. We are constantly finding new skills for them to learn and master, and we are giving them the tools they need to do so.

When we create a Culture of Growth, we are telling our athletes and their families, "We are in the arena with you. We win together, we lose together, we grow together, and we grind together."

Remember, when you are in that arena with them, your response to failure and struggle, whether verbal or non-verbal (facial expressions and body language) makes a big difference in how your athletes will respond.

Is your culture a Culture of Growth? Or, are kids afraid to try new things and make mistakes?

Mamba Mondas | This is My Challenge

In 2007, we were still trying to figure out who Kobe Bryant was.

The US National team was coming off an Olympic loss to Argentina, and a World Basketball Championship loss to Greece, and they needed leadership. To answer this need, they went out and recruited Kobe Bryant.

Nobody brought more baggage to the Olympic basketball team at that time than Kobe. He ran Shaq off of the Los Angelos Lakers, everyone thought he was selfish, and he demanded a trade from the same Laker team in the parking lot of a grocery store. 

It was an exciting point in his career. He had taken a few hits and was fighting to regain his place and restore his name. He had to prove to the NBA and to the world hat he was a good person and a team player. 

Kobe told a reporter

"I'm glad you're here; you're going to see something. You're going to see the USA be great again. This is my challenge; this is bigger than anything I've ever done."

The same reporter then said, 

"This was the start of the second chapter of the life of Kobe Bryant."

30 seconds into their first scrimmage, there was a loose ball and dove over everyone for the ball. That set a big example for everyone in the gym. That same reporter said, "They dove for loose balls, they got big rebounds, they played defense, they were in people's faces, and ALL of that started with Kobe Bryant."

I saw this quote recently on a Facebook post:

"Maybe I'm a little bias about this, but 'The Redeem Team' documentary was all about Kobe. A guy that many thought couldn't play with fellow superstars, a selfish player, etc., provided what the USA team lacked to reclaim being the best basketball country. Its not just his skills, but his work ethic, the dirty work, showing his teammates what it takes to win. His eyes are set for redemption, for the Gold, for the USA to be great again.

Just pure Mamba,"

Its always the right time to do whats right. Kobe was always ready to do the next, right thing. Kobe was always trying to learn, to grow, and to do and be better.

The Redeem Team documentary showed again that, Kobe was Kobe.

Mamba Mondays | Bill Russell

Kobe Bryant was hungry to learn, and he was always looking for people from which he could learn.

Here is what he said about his relationship with NBA legend Bill Russell:

“I knew there was a reason Bill Russell had more rings than fingers. Years ago, then, I picked up an autobiography of his and devoured it. There were a lot of valuable lessons in there. There’s one anecdote Bill shared that stuck with me. He recounts how people always said he wasn’t a good ball handler, just didn’t know how to handle and shoot the ball. He said sure, he could do all of those things, but why would he lead the fastbreak when Bob Cousy was playing with him? Why would he shoot jumpers when Sam Jones was on his wing? The message was that if you want to win championships, you have to let people focus on what they do best while you focus on what you do best. For him, that was rebounding, running the floor, and blocking shots.

I thought that teaching was simple, yet profound. It was an insight I had never heard from anyone before. Pretty much as soon as I read that, I reached out to Bill and started a relationship and mentorship that opened up my world.”

This message can be used by leaders in all industries. Identify the strengths of the people you work with and lead, and empower them to use their strengths as often as possible.

Week 40 | Humble As A Child

When you go from elementary to middle school, people start going through important changes. Around the 5^th, 6^th, and 7^th grades, you start to figure out who you want to be. Before that, your parents pretty much dictate everything, and you just followed. But around middle school, you start to make those decisions for yourself.

When you get to high school, those decisions become more and more your own, and the decisions you make begin to set you up for life beyond high school.

Take some time to think about who you really want to be. For the rest of your life, you really have to be aware of who you are, who you want to be, and the gap between the two. Make sure that every decision is aligned with who you want to be.

People around you will start making all kinds of choices, good and bad, and you will have to choose which path you want to go down.

In Matthew 18, the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who then is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”

Jesus brought a little child to Him and said, “Whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 18:4)

Jesus then said, “If you cause one of these little ones who trust in me to fall into sin, it would be better for you to have a large millstone tied around your neck and be drowned in the depths of the seas.” (Matthew 18:6)

Here, Jesus tells us two things. First, we should always stay humble like a child. Young kids have no worries, and they don't stress about tomorrow. They don't have anxiety or fear of what tomorrow brings. They don't worry about making the team, getting the job, finances, food, clothing, shelter, or looking and being cool. Young kids are happy and full of hope, and they don't have a lot of worries distracting their minds.

When we become teenagers, we begin to become rebellious, self-centered, and selfish. We want to break free from the control of our parents and want more control over our lives. We want to be free, but we don't realize our reliance on fitting in and doing what the people around us are doing, and how we start to focus on ourselves. This leads to worry, stress, and anxiety; the opposite of freedom.

Second, we should be good people and role models and never lead anyone else to sin. Be a good leader. When people see you, they should see somebody trying to do the right thing.

Pastor Andy Nixon of Munger Place Church in Dallas once said that we should always choose the humble path:

The humble guided is the righteous one. It is never the arrogant answer that is correct. It is the humble path that Jesus walks; that is what servants do. They walk humble steps and humble paths.

Preacher and former professional soccer player Jesse Bradley has an acronym that he uses. it is B.L.E.S.S. = BEGIN with prayer, be quick to LISTEN and slow to speak, break bread and EAT with others because great things happen over meals, find ways to SERVE others, and SHARE authentically, kindly, and humbly.

Humble yourself like a child. In every decision, choose the humble path. Look for opportunities to bless others. That doesn't mean you are soft and weak; it means you are strong enough to make a positive difference in the lives of other people.

THIS WEEK

1 – Stay humble like a child. Really focus on walking the humble path and being a blessing to others.

2 – What is one way that you can be humble and bless others?

3 – When is being humble hard to do?

4 – When being humble is hard, what is something that you can do to overcome that challenge?

For a Google doc version of this devo, click here: Humble as a child