Don't Just Wish For It - Work For It

As we leave 2019 and head into 2020, let's leave laziness, excuses and bad habits behind as well.

Let's make a deal - we won't live by wishing; we will live by doing.

Let's go to work this year on our habits and our goals.  Let's use this year to establish high quality habits that will propel us to live our best lives, for the rest of our lives.

COACHES:  We won't just wish that our players come in early and stay late in 2020 - we are going to find ways to motivate and encourage them to do so.  We will make sure that we are ready and at practice early and staying late, prepared and ready to receive our athletes. 

We won't hope that our players go hard in practice and are engaged - we are going to design engaging practices that is full of teaching and fun competition.  We are going to research ways to communicate to our kids throughout practices so that they stay engaged.

PLAYERS:  We won't wish that we make that team, that we start, and that the plays get called for us in 2020 - we are going to work for it.  We are going to show up early, we are going to stay late, and we are going to compete in every drill, every day.

If we don't get the shots that we want or the role that we want, we aren't going to pout about it.  We are going to be stars in our role and master our role.  We are going to push our teammates in practice and cheer for them in games and we are going to expect the same from them.

PARENTS:  We aren't just going to wish that our players get better, get the shots, and get the playing time in 2020.  We are going to help make sure that they understand what it takes to get what they want and how to work for what they want.  We are going to help put our kids in position to succeed and we are going to teach them the tools they will need to go get what they want.

We are going to help make sure that they are at practice early getting ready to work, and we are going to encourage them to stay late to get extra reps in because we know that the real edges and advantages come with how hard you go in practice and with everything extra that you do outside of practice.

2020 is the year that we build the right habits and we do the right work.  2020 is the year that sets us up for sustained greatness the rest of our lives.

Mental Toughness | Jack Clark

PLAYERS:  Being mentally tough is one of the best skills that you can have.  Being mentally tough allows you to be completely present in the moment and allows you focus on what is most important.

It allows you to be afraid and still play and act with courage.  When you are mentally tough, you know that you aren't perfect and that you will make mistakes.  When you are mentally tough, you will fight through and past the mistakes.  When you are mentally tough, you will learn from the mistakes.

When you are mentally tough, you will try new things.  You listen better and more intently to your coaches because you want to learn and get better.  Then, you try and practice and try again what they taught you.  When you are mentally tough, you don't practice until you can do something - you practice until you don't mess up. 

When you are mentally tough, you find ways to get better everyday.  You find ways to grow and grind and get better when you are tired, when your are bored, and when you don't feel like it.

When you are mentally tough, you will complete every drill and in every practice to get better.  

You will compete with yourself and your teammates.  You won't take it easy on yourself or on your teammates.  You will push yourself and your teammates because when you are mentally tough, you push yourself out of your comfort zone and past your limits because that is how you get better.

When you are mentally tough, you don't make excuses.  You don't cry.  You don't complain.  You don't whine.  You find ways to get the job done despite the adversity and obstacles in front of you.  When it gets harder, you go harder.  You smile with the increase in competition because you know that when it gets harder, it will push you to be better.

Being mentally tough is a skill.  That means it can be learned.  Some are born more mentally tough than others.  Some have been through more adversity than others, so their mental toughness has been sharpened.  But everybody can learn how to be more mentally tough.

There is room for more mental toughness on every team.

Sue Enquist: Fear and Failure

Sue Enquist was a legendary softball player and coach at UCLA.  In the video below, she talks about the importance of valuing people and the process over results, the 33% rule, managing your strong and weak voice and being an engineer who builds a model around belief.

Value People Over Results
Don't load up on empty W's your entire career by thinking that fulfillment and happiness are all about winning and doing more on the field.  Winning is important, and we should be proud of our on-field/on-court success.  Just don't lose focus on how we get there or how we treat our athletes and their families.  Don't fixate more on winning and dominating and than on the people that you win with.

Focus on how you get there and the people you get there with.

Remember why you got into coaching and fall in love again with the idea of affecting others.

33% Rule

Bottom Third - The people on your team or who work with you will suck the life out of you.  They are energy vampires who worry more about themselves than the team.

Middle third - They blow in the wind.  Their buy-in changes with the success and buy-in from the team.  They are great when things are great, and they fall to the bottom third when things don't go their way.

Top Third - The special group of kids (and parents) who give you everything that they have every day with energy and enthusiasm.

Don't take the Bottom Third home with you!  They will second guess anything and everything that you do.  It's hard to make them happy.  It's hard to please them.  Some of them will never be pleased.  Don't let them suck the life out of you and don't let them rule your world.  Remember that the Middle Third is changeable and the Top Third will always create the positive momentum on good days and bad days.  That means that 2/3s of your team is doing great things, but Bottom Third sometimes has the loudest voice.  You don't have to cut the bottom third, but don't let them permeate your soul.  The goal is to leave the game with your passion intact by letting the top 3rd be your fuel.

Wear your 33% armor to keep your passion intact and be fulfilled when you are done.

We All Have A Strong and Weak Voice

We all have a strong and a weak voice inside of us.  The trick to getting to the top and staying is being able to manage those voices.  Know what your weak voice is and what it is saying.  Release your athletes to be able to admit that it is messy in our heads.  

Champions have the weak voice too, but they still become champions and stay champions because they learn how to manage the strong and weak voices.  We can't always change the weak voice, but we can let the strong voice get the last word.  Doubt is a part of human nature and is part of what fuels us.  We aren't fearless.  There is a lot of fear.  We just have to be great at letting the strong voice get the last word every day.

We then have to teach others how to believe in themselves.  Culture and mindset changes don't happen at an event nor change overnight, and neither does learning how to manage the voices and conversations in our heads.  Understand that the conversation is going on in everybody's mind all day long, and every day it is our job to release our athletes to be able to acknowledge those weak voices and to acknowledge that sometimes our heads are like scrambled eggs, and to create an environment where they feel safe to acknowledge that it is messy up there.  If we can show that champions have that weak voice too, we can learn how to use to our advantage like champions do.

Stain Their Brain
Our real goal as coaches and the calling of all coaches is to affect the way that our athletes believe in themselves.  It is our job to create the conditions through which they can do that.

Be simple, be clear, and be consistent in your message.  Be authentic.  Let them know that we have good days and bad days.  Let them know that everybody has strong and weak voices.  Then Stain their brains on who they are, who they can be, and who they will be.

When you see a sharpie, ask yourself, 'Am I staining their brain in what they can do each and every day?'

Our calling: To affect the way that our athletes believe in themselves.

Be an Engineer Who Builds a Model Around Belief

Take inventory of what your athletes do well so when it matters, you can repeat to them what they have done and you can project what they will do.  

'You have been here before.  You have done this, this and this.  We are here at this moment.  You have earned the right to be confident in this moment.  Have a blast where your feet are in this moment.  I will meet you on the other side of success.'

Your 'alright and hand-clap' is not enough.  Give them a model.  Give them a blueprint.  Give them the recipe.  Where they've been, where they are, and where they're going is the model.  Players never say about great coaches, 'I couldn't stand playing for her because she made us believe way too much.'  Players remember what coaches teach them and they remember how coaches made them feel.

Our challenge is to be an engineer of belief and to stain their brain with positive belief and self-talk.  When your language becomes their language, it stains their brain and we can scale character effect.  Become a Ph.D. in convincing because there are times that we have to convince what they don't see yet.  This is our calling.

Failure and Success Hold Hands

Failure and success hold hands.  You can't have one without the other.  Without failure, success doesn't have context.  If we can talk comfortably about failure as we fall in love with and talk about winning, our student-athletes will be more comfortable and safe in their environments and with taking risks.

Make them comfortable taking risks and teach them how to be okay with failure and unafraid to give their best against the best.

Uncoach them and give them time back to do what they think they need.  Give the game back to them because in the most important moments, we clamp on harder to what got us here.  Honor who they are and the process that it takes to get to the end.

Failure Recovery System

Have a Failure Recovery System and practice it.  Teach your athletes how to own the moment, and when they fail, team them to keep their chin up, keep their shoulders back, to keep eye contact and look at their teammates and say, 'I got you.'

Excellence doesn't blink and it doesn't wait for you to pull it together or for you to get rid of your junk.  Excellence just keeps moving and it doesn't wait for anyone.  If we want to have excellence have to find a way to keep moving too.

Conclusion
You will be remembered by how you treat the people that you lead.  Remember how you think - strong and weak voice.  Remember how you speak - the bottom 3rd, middle 3rd, top 3rd.  Remember how you act over time - this is your pattern of behavior.  It becomes your character and your character becomes your legacy.

Create the Right Habits and Compete in Practice | Deon Sanders

In the video below, NFL legend Deon Sanders talks about the importance of competing in practice and the importance of creating and living by the right habits.

To become the best that you can be, you have to compete everyday in practice.  You have to push yourself and your teammates.  You will win some battles, and you will lose some battles, but if you just keep competing, you will keep improving.

When you compete every practice, you are creating the right habits.  We are what we do, so our habits will dictate our success.  When you live by the right habits, you have a chance to be special.

It's about how you practice and your habits.  Don't cut any deals with your teammates - go at eachother.  This is how you make eachother better.  Every practice is a game.  It's the chance to compete.

Iron sharpens iron.

Whatever you do, just do it consistently.

Create habits.  Practice at a certain time to create habits.  Your coach asks and demands certain things so that you can build habits.  Do things in the weight room so that you can form habits so that when the time to perform comes, you will be ready.  Try to create habits in yourself and in the people who follow you.  When you get the right habits, then you have something special.

Don't need anybody to get you up and tell you to work out.  Be self-motivated, create the right habits, and stick to them.  Go hard everyday so that you have the right habits and so that you are ready for the game.  The game is an opportunity for everybody to see you practice.  If somebody comes by your practice, they should see you COMPETING.  They should never see you just slacking off, or taking it easy.  You might get beat by someone in practice, but they should see you battling to get them back.

Create the right habits and live by them.

Fragile Egos Kill The Team

One Killer Of Great Teams Is A Leader With A Fragile Ego.

For the team to be the best that it can be, you have to have a talented and knowledgeable group of coaches who all bring great skills and ideas to the team.  The best teams share and effectively implement the best ideas, regardless of who the idea came from and regardless of who gets the credit.

One Killer Of Great Teams Is Players With Fragile Egos.

For the team to be the best that it can be, you have to have a talented group of athletes who are willing to work together and sacrifice for the good of the team.  The best teams put the best players in the best position to do their best, and they don't worry about who gets the credit for success because they know when the team wins, everyone wins.

One Killer Of Great Teams Is Parents With Fragile Egos.

For a team to be the best that it can be, you have to have a supportive group of parents who are willing to work together and teach their kids how to work together for the good of the team.  The best teams have parents who don't care who gets the credit because they know that when the team wins, everyone wins.

When a smart, talented, hardworking group of people come together with a shared vision, when they are willing to sacrifice for the team, and they are willing to do what it takes and don't worry about who gets the credit, everyone wins.

This is the same in the sport and outside of the sport.

Disagreements are part of the process.  When someone disagrees with you, it doesn't mean that they don't want to get on your bus.  It just means that they see things differently or they feel like there is a better option.  Instead of dismissing them, listen to them.  Their idea might be better.  They might be better at something.  Work together to find the best solution and the best path to success. 

Person > Player

Can you take character development into the most pressurized environments in athletics?

When you grow a kid's character and emphasize character and personal development, the athlete always wins.

The video below has really helped me refocus my purpose as a sports parent.  It's very easy for us to find our identity lost in how our kids play.  So much of my weekend levels of joy are based on the results of my kids' games.  This is not healthy, and this is not fun.  Like most kids, mines are inconsistent and so my weekend joy has been inconsistent.

This video has taught me to emphasize and focus on who my kids are as people, and to re-purpose sports as another tool to help my kids live happy, healthy lives by learning how to set goals and work for them, by learning how to play well and work well with others, learning that how hard you work and how much grit you have has a positive correlation with success, and learning how to have a healthy relationship with failure.

The video above is a speech from Brett Ledbetter.  He works with high major athletes and coaches all year, and he specializes in character development and using character as a vehicle to improve performance.  When he works with an athlete, the first thing he asks is, 'What is your biggest struggle?'

So many athletes say that their biggest struggle is that they identify as athletes and their worth is based on their performance as a player and not based on who they are as a person.  When they play well, they feel great about themself, and when they don't play well they don't feel very positive about themself.

He then asked, 'Who lead the nation in scoring three years ago?'

Most people can't name that person.

He then asked, 'Who was your favorite teacher and why?'

Most people can name their favorite teachers, and many high-level athletes choose a teacher they had when they were very young.

This shows how impactful a teacher or coach can be. This also shows that people remember who you are as a person and people forget stats.  Our impact is so much bigger than sports, and people don't forget how you made them feel.

Know how you want to be remembered and align your energy and your actions to match this.  Help your players care more and identify more with who they are as a person than who they are as a player.  It's hard when your identity is based on results because you can't always control the result, but you can control and be proud of the process and the work that you put in and your effort.

If you focus on the person, you grow the person and the player, because when the person grows, the player grows.  The better the character a person has, the better habits they have and the more likely it is that they will do all of the things it takes to get better in their sport.

What do you do with athletes that struggle because their identity is based on results that go up and down regularly?  Help them identify more with who they are than what they do.  Re-purpose sports so that they have a healthy relationship with their game so that they focus on the right things, and so that they grow to be happy, healthy, productive people long after they finish playing.

Know Your Purpose For Coaching

Know what your purpose is, know what is most important to you, and know what you will emphasize and prioritize, and then focus your energy to aligning who you are and what you do with your purpose.

It is not easy to prioritize character and winning, because the more success that you have, the harder it is to maintain your same moral compass.  But if you consistently emphasize the person over the athlete and character over winning, your athletes will do more of what it takes to win, they will find success, and their character will shine like a beacon in the center of the ring of performance.

It's very important to know the reason behind what you are doing at any moment.  It's important to look at sports through the correct lens and get the purpose behind it right.  It's important to know your purpose for coaching, to know who you are as a person and as a coach, and to make sure that you rally your energy so that your energy is aligned to what is most important in your life.

Dr. Jim Loehr makes these statements in the video above.  He encourages you to focus more on character growth and developing better people and to make that character development your identity instead of your win-loss record.  He encourages you to focus and prioritize the person over the player because when you can leverage all of the tremendous stresses and demands of competitive athletics to help people become stronger, more character-based human beings, the strength of character shines like a beacon in the center of the circle in terms of performance.  

Better character leads to becoming more focused, more resilient, grittier, tougher, better, harder working, and overall better athletes.

What you focus on is going to make a real difference in how you operate, lead and coach.  If you frame the purpose of sports to build stronger, healthier character, no one loses because they also become healthier, stronger people and athletes in the process.  The healthier that you are at the character level, the better you will be able to perform because the better that you are able to understand what life is all about, and the better you are at integrating failure because it will come at some point, the better off that you will be in and out of sports.

Sports do not teach character by itself.  The more successful that you get in sports and the higher the competitive profile that you build, the harder it is to stay humble and to stick to your moral ground.  The pressures to win become greater and greater the better that you get and the normal rules of ethics and behavior become less and less important than the need to win or keep your spot.

The only way that sports teach character is when coaches make it the number 1 issue.  If you want to make sports a character-building experience, you can.  But you are going to have to fight, go against the grain and set a different path because it is not the norm in today's world.  You will have to walk differently than a majority of others and you will have to risk a lot because you may not win in the beginning.  You are going to have to have a pretty deep commitment in the beginning to sticking to who you are and what you care about, and if you maintain that commitment to your purpose, you will have an impact on the lives of others.

The Goldman Dilemma

Dr. Goldman ran an experiment for 10 years among to some of the best athletes in the world.  He gave them a survey.  The dilemma addressed in the survey was that you could take a pill that could give you all the success in the world in your sport and to enjoy everything that comes with it.   The catch was that you would die in 5 years.

More than 1/2 of the athletes surveyed over the 10-year span said that they would take the pill.  A majority of the high-level athletes valued sports greatness so much that they were willing to die for it.

On one hand, you could say that this level of commitment is what it takes to be the best at something.  On the other hand, it shows how important it is to reframe sports in a healthier way.

If you want to use sport to teach and develop character, you have to be intentional.

Open Letter To Sports Parents

This post was left on my Facebook page by Stan Granger, a wrestling coach.  Please ENJOY this amazing perspective.

I am a 20+ year Coach. One of my son's best friend's father is a good friend of mine. The other day we were having a discussion about child development and parent involvement. As with any discussion about Youth/MS/HS sports between a parent and a coach it became heated. But it was no surprise cause we are friends and we have had these heated debates over the years. So I proceeded on as normal. The next day he shared this letter to our community that he had written on the heels of our discussion.

"Open letter to the future wrestling parent,

For those that don't know me, my name is Jim Lenon. I'm a former Holt wrestler, 1996 state championship team member, Holt Athletics Hall of Fame member, and one of the former Holt wrestling club coaches from 2005 - 2015. Now.....I'm just a high school wrestling dad. Coming up through the program and navigating the oddities of youth wrestling, I often wished there was a manual or a way to make it all make sense. Well....here I go.

The early years:

It's all so much fun. Watching the kids roll around on the mat. Most of the time, all you can do is smile and shake your head. Having matches end with a score of 22-16 because there were 10 headlocks thrown and rolled through was one of the most amusing things I have witnessed. Remember these days. Your son may not win a match for a full season (like mine) this does not mean they aren’t cut out for the sport.

As your wrestler grows and progresses through the sport, you will feel pride, sadness, defeat. You will feel times of anxiousness and even panic. This is normal. Remember, as a parent, your wrestler's success has zero relation to you as a parent. Wins and Losses come with the realities of youth athletics.

Dads......let your young wrestlers cry if they come up short. The tears mean they care...that is a good thing.

Help your wrestler be an athlete. Did you know that being able to do a cartwheel, or a flip, can directly relate to being a better wrestler? It seems odd but it is true. Put as much emphasis on becoming a better athlete as you do on becoming a better wrestler. They go hand in hand.

Notes From a Kids Coach:

The Holt wrestling program has been, historically, one of the most successful wrestling programs in the state of Michigan. There are teams of people that work so hard to continue that tradition and keep it rolling. Support your coaches, support other team members and families. Continue to build this community. Take your kids to the high school dual meets, because to a 7-year-old who loves wrestling, a starting Varsity Ram wrestler is a pretty cool person. Let them see young men compete that they might want to strive to be one day. This gives your wrestler goals.

Parents.......you are running a marathon you didn't sign up for. Some wrestlers will find success right away. Some might not find success for 10 years, and then some (the hard truth) may never find success but simply love the sport. All three of these types are vital and important to a program. Run the race and support your athlete no matter the type and remember this is ALL ABOUT THEM!  Personally, I have had one son who found success early and another who is still searching for it. Beyond being my kids, they have been important to the program.

The Elite Wrestler Parent:

A school-based club is still a place for you. Recognize and remember, this is still your community. These kids around your early-developing wrestler are still his/her schoolmates and these will most likely be the wrestlers your wrestler competes alongside as a high schooler. The pull to an "Elite" club will be real and, in honesty, it is ok to allow your wrestler to train at these clubs. But again remember......this is a marathon and burn out is a real thing. Work to balance a give and take attitude with your wrestler where they give to the less skilled athletes at the school-based club and then take from the more intensive training they might receive at an "Elite" club. I think this is so important - so many kids come home and if they didn't wrestle with "good" kids, the parent says that the practice was useless for the more skilled wrestler. Not true, the skilled wrestler must be able to think through the move, articulate it, and teach it - all good learning tools and part of being a team, as well as the more skilled wrestler then learns from the more skilled wrestlers and coaches at the Elite club. Someone is always teaching and someone is always learning, and kids (even great ones) are always on both ends. Most coaches understand the need to have environments that will challenge your wrestler and support a balanced training at "Elite" clubs along with the school training.

The hard truth. In 2013, as a coach, I had 8 Elite wrestlers leave the club program because we did not train the kids hard enough. As of the 2018-19 high school season, only 1 of those 8 was still involved in the sport of wrestling. Again.......this is a marathon sport that demands large amounts of work over an extended period of time. Those that remained in our program that year are now members of the #5 ranked team in the state with currently 8 wrestlers ranked in the top 15 at their weight classes.

Junior High/High School:

Often times this is where the late developers catch up with the early. Playing field becomes more even and the early developers often become disheartened with the new challenges they are experiencing. This is ok. Let it happen. Don't blame a coach, a school or yourself. Support the priority of hard work and perseverance. The opposite is also true... some kids will hit puberty and take off while some won't hit puberty and will watch their success decrease substantially. This is a time when the kids who hit puberty late will be doubting themselves and wanting to quit.

Trust....this is hard for a parent. For in these years, at a place like Holt, your wrestler will be extremely challenged, tested and expected to grow (sometimes at a rapid pace). This can be difficult for a parent to watch and even harder to still extend trust in the process. History has proven that the process works.......trust it.

Academics

There can be a future in wrestling. There is not a “pro” league but through hard work and dedication wrestling can open some opportunities at the collegiate level. However, even at the scholarship D1 level, this is not an option for wrestlers that do not show good behaviors in the classroom. Help your wrestle establish good study habits for this is vital. Wrestling has the smallest percentage of High school to College transition rate out of all sports. On average there are 258,208 high school wrestlers. Only 7,049 are able to make the vertical jump to NCAA which is 2.7%. A high GPA could legitimately be the tipping point between your wrestler being recruited.

Enjoy the ride. As parents, we are gifted with limited time with our kids. Make them memorable. Those that have been involved in Holt wrestling know that "The fun is in the memories". So make as many as you can.

So as your season begins I hope that we all remember that wrestling is one of the best sports to prepare our kids for LIFE. The hardships, the challenges, the disappointments, and the rewards are all earned. There is no purer sport around. So as a community lets rally around the youth, the Jr. High and the High school programs and make this a year one to remember. Go Rams!"

Weather The Storm and Give It Your Best Shot

If you want something bad enough, there will be problems, adversity, obstacles, and challenges that are trying to keep you from getting it.

You have to have a boatload of determination and the right attitude.  You have to have an agressive attitude that says, 'If anybody can do it, I can.'

You have to be willing to do what it takes to get what you want.  Have a determined attitude that won't let you quit and give up, and don't let any loss or setback hold you back.

Don't give in or abandon what you do because things get a little tough.  Weather the storm and keep moving forward one step at a time.

You will be amazed at what you can do if you won't have a give up attitude before you ever give it your best. 

Assumptive Coaching | Don't Assume, Don't Complain - Teach and Coach Them Up!

Have you ever been frustrated because your athletes can't perform certain skills that you feel like they SHOULD know or be able to do but can't?

Assumptive coaching assuming that the athletes that we get already know how to do something.  It's very dangerous to assume that anyone already knows anything, and we shouldn't punish or belittle our athletes because they weren't taught something that we feel like they should have been taught.

I got my start in coaching at a junior college in Oklahoma.  I was fortunate that the head coach that I worked for broke down the game each year for all of our players to the basics.  We would spend the first few weeks working on triple threat, shot fakes, jab steps, jump stops, and lay-up footwork like we were at a camp for beginners; we even had the guys get in lines like we were at camp the first week to teach the basic fundamentals.  My head coach said that he never assumed that any of these college athletes knew anything coming in, and he refused to skip steps in the learning process.  

I left there and started working at a high school.  We didn't teach a lot of those same basics because we thought that all of the players at this level should already know those things.  They didn't, and we struggled.

These experiences taught me never to assume that any of your players know anything, and if you make that mistake, as soon as you realize that you have players that don't know something that you feel like they should, stop immediately and teach or reteach as necessary.  Don't just let your players go without knowing something because they should have already learned it.

It is our job to have a vision for where our players and teams can go, and help them get there.  It would be great if they all received the prerequisite skills before they got to us, but some of them didn't.  We can spend our time and careers complaining about what they don't already know, or we can find solutions and teach.

Here is a video about Greg Popovich and the San Antonio Spurs.  Here he talks about how they break the game down to the basics each year at training camp.

It's about organization.  It's about discipline.  It's about building the blocks.  It's about relationships with your players.  How do you get something out of someone who is selfish, or who doesn't compete the way that you would like?  All of those things have more to do with winning and losing than any play that we can draw up.

- Gregg Popovich

Be The Hero Of Your Own Story

Like most athletes and coaches, I HATE losing.  I hate losing and I hate the thought of losing.  Just the thought of it actually gives me anxiety.  I used to cry after every loss as a kid, and even as an adult, I can privately shed a tear or two after I lose a tough game.

I was listening to a podcast by Jon Gordon featuring author Donald Miller and they talked about the power of storytelling, the elements of a great story, the journey that all heroes must take and how losing is an important part of the hero's journey.

Almost every hero, or anybody who has achieved something great, has experienced a major loss or has made a really big mistake in their life that they have had to bounce back from.  Michael Jordan got cut from his high school varsity basketball team. Tom Brady didn't get drafted until the 6th round.  Steph Curry didn't receive any offers from major college basketball teams.  All three sports heroes experienced major losses and or setbacks in their lives, but overcame them and experienced success much greater than their struggles.

Instead of letting mistakes define them or cause them to quit, heroes learn from their mistakes and they use those lessons to help them achieve something greater than they lost.

The key is to reframe your loss as just a part of your story and managing your mental energy in a way that will help you survive your losses, rebound, and then thrive.

Every great story has a hero that has a clearly defined purpose.  The hero starts on their journey, and they face some kind of enemy.  That enemy could be internal, like a feeling of self-pity, self-doubt, or a lack of discipline.  That enemy could also be external, like an evil dragon, energy vampires at work, a mean teammate, a mean parent, or a tough team that you just can't beat.  The hero usually gets defeated by the villain and experiences some major setback, but they learn and grow from the loss and recover in a way that they come back stronger than they were before.

We find ourselves in different situations all of the time in life, good and bad, and we have to make the most of each situation, then make the most of the next one, and then the next one by staying positive, not getting down in the moment, not letting setbacks set us back but let them move us forward, and life will somehow work out great.

In order to have a great story, the hero or the main character of a story has to have a defined focus or purpose.  They have to face challenges, they have to be willing to face challenges, and they have to have a positive attitude about those challenges.  They can't be afraid of the villain and they have to be willing to take it on.  

If we structure our lives so that we are the hero in our own, meaningful story, it is an antidote for depression and anxiety, and if you have a high internal locus of control, you are generally happier and more successful.

Structure your life like you are the main character and hero in your own life.  Learn how to see setbacks as villains, and know that it is your purpose and mission to defeat the villains and to grow from those battles.  Reframe adversity as just a part of the story, and see yourself beating the villains so that you can win your story.  

The hero only transforms when they face a challenge or the villain forces them to change.  Change is uncomfortable and adversity is not easy to deal with.  But it's how we deal with it, how we learn from it, and how we grow from it that dictates our future success.  When you face adversity, instead of letting it get you down, use it to help you grow!

Coaches, You Will Be Criticized ...

“You want to be liked?  Sell Ice Cream. You want everyone to criticize you, think you’re an idiot, and believe they could do your job better than you??? Coach basketball!”

- Quote by Dana Altman

This could be said for most sports. Criticism just comes with the territory, and we have to learn how to manage it so that it doesn't drive us crazy and drive us out of the sport.

Build a community of coaches that you can share thoughts, feelings, and ideas with that can keep you motivated and inspired to keep going. Learn how to keep the negativity on the court so that you aren't bringing it home and allowing it to affect your family.

Don't let a few chirps from the stands keep you from doing what you love, keep you from doing what you believe in and keep you from changing lives.

A lot of good coaches are leaving the profession now because of what they are receiving from the stands. We have to stick together to keep the good ones going.

Parents, please see the good in the coaches leading your athletes; especially if they are a good one who is sacrificing time and energy to teach, grow, and develop your athlete. No coach is perfect, but if you have a coach that is trying, support them and let them know that you appreciate them - especially after losses and during those tough stretches. There is nothing that can make a coach feel better than knowing that they have the support of the parents.

Life is full of tests and choices. We will get tested as coaches. Think about what you want your legacy to be and how you want to be remembered, and make choices and decisions based on that.

The Best CHOOSE To Do The Right Thing No Matter How They Feel

The Best CHOOSE To Do The Right Thing No Matter How They Feel.
They Know That Growth Isn't Comfortable.  

They Don't Wait Until They Feel Good To Do the Right Thing. 

They Just DO the Right Thing.

The best do the HARD stuff, especially when it's not easy or they don't feel like doing it.

Its easy to work hard when you have had enough rest, the temperature is great outside and all of your friends are waiting for you in the gym.  It's easy to do what's right when you know the drill when you have mastered the skill, when you know that you can beat your opponent, or when you know what is going to happen.  

If you do what's right because it feels right, this is still a very good thing, but it means that you have already grown in that area.

If you do what's right even when you don't feel the best or the most comfortable, that means that you are growing.

There are some things that we do now that are very easy that used to be hard.  But there are other things that are still hard to do, so when we are faced with one of those things, we have to do it no matter how we feel.  If it's hard, then we know that we are growing.

We have to learn how to do what's right even when we don't feel like it and when it is hard.

You can't wait until you feel great or until the conditions are perfect before you start working hard.  

You can't grow without some discomfort.  Growth is not always (or even usually) going to be comfortable.

You have to CHOOSE to do what is right even when you don't feel like doing it.

When we start doing what is right even when we don't feel it, we are growing.

That Is The Beauty of Sports | Enjoy The Ride.

This sports journey is tough and it is full of moments that will test you.  Moments that will test your love for the game, moments that will test your belief in yourself, and moments that will test your character. 

There are moments that will make you question who you are as a person and what you believe in.

Some seasons you are the best player out there and some seasons you struggle to get off the bench.

Some games you can't miss, and other games you can't do anything right.

Some days, everybody loves you and some days even your parents can't look you in the eye without showing frustration.

Keep your head up and know that you are not the first person to struggle and you won't be the last.  Life is filled with moments that will tear you down, and if stick with it, there will be moments that will build you up higher than you can imagine.

Your will, your faith, and your purpose has to be bigger than your challenges.

You will face challenges and adversity.  Your will and your faith and your purpose have to keep you going.  Your love for the game has to keep you going.


Its becoming cliche, but you have to have enough grit and stubbornness to just keep going.

Don't get too down on the lows and don't get too high on the highs.  Enjoy the journey.  Build relationships.  Make friends.  Take pictures.  Smile.  Cry.  Laugh.  You will feel every emotion imaginable.  

That is the beauty of sports.  

Enjoy the ride.

Time Martin Change of Direction and Defensive Techniques

Basketball trainer Tim Martin works with many NBA, college and high school stars.  He does a great job of teaching different moves that can get you free to score.  One of his most notable athletes is NBA star Trae Young.  

Here I have posted a couple of videos, and my notes, from when he worked with Trae Young.  One is an offensive video where he emphasizes how to play on your toes and keep your feet moving.  The second is a defensive video where he emphasizes cutting the offensive players body I'm half by sitting on their active foot.

Both videos are great resources for both players and coaches.

CHANGE OF DIRECTION AND REACT ON REACT OFF THE DRIBBLE

• Keep your feet moving.  As long as your feet are moving and you can control tempo, you have a chance to make a play.
• When you see chest, cross and counter.
• Long, quick, explosive strides.  Not short, choppy strides.
• Long, explosive step like track.
• Shoulders low, ball low.
• Go fast on the shift so that we can get some momentum.
• Feet never stop moving.  Keep the defender moving.  The more your defender is active, the easier your job will be on the defensive end, you tire out your defender, and you get the scrubs coming in off the bench.  Take the head off the snake.
• Stay bouncy like Floyd Mayweather.  On your toes like a boxer.  Don't let your feet stall.  Keep your feet moving with the ball.
• All toes - no heels on the ground.
• Every dribble is below his waist.

DEFENSIVE TECHNIQUES

• Sit on his active foot.  Cut his body in half forcing him one way and get connected to his inside shoulder to get him cut-off and open up to on the counter.
• Sit on the jab then karaoke.  Take half of their body away by sitting on tha jab.
• Offensively go straight line and get into the body.

Create Winning Habits | Jon Gordon's Soup

In the book Soup by Jon Gordon, Nancy was hired on as the new CEO of the Soup Inc.  She had to turn around a failing company that was filled with negativity and declining performances.

It really is a great read about how the power of relationships and building the right culture can change even the most toxic and negative teams and working environments.

Gordon wrote that the leader of the team creates and drives the culture, but every great team has many 'pot stirrers' who do the work of stirring the pot with a shared vision and purpose.  The leaders must set and share the vision, but it is the positive energy of your people that will make this vision a reality.  When you create the 'pot stirrers,' make sure that you are communicating with them, encouraging them, inspiring them, and developing them.  You can't just give them the vision; you have to make sure to help them (Soup, page 110)

Two of the things that Nancy and her team implemented were Winning Habits and Success Fridays.  Winning Habits is a document that she and her leadership team created to help them promote acceptable habits and to discourage unacceptable habits in the company.  The purpose was to create a more positive culture and an environment that would fuel performance.

Some of the desired habits included smiling at your coworker when you passed each other in the halls and sharing encouragement.

Some of the unacceptable habits included complaining without offering a solution (the 'No Complaining Rule) and being rude to a colleague or a customer.

Jon Gordon writes that having people in the company create these habits promotes buy-in from the team members.  

A lot of coaches talk about the importance of having the players take ownership of their team.  They have to buy-in and they have to learn how to hold themselves and each other accountable.  Having your team create certain habits that they all agree to buy-in to, like being on the court shooting before practice starts, or staying late after practice on certain days to run extra routes, can help them buy-in to doing things that will lead to performance and give them ownership over their team.

Success Fridays were implemented so that every Friday, members of the team shared success stories from the weak.  When we focus on the good going on with the team, we don't have time to focus on the bad.  By having team members looking for and sharing good things going on, you create teams of pot stirrers who help celebrate each other and who help each other grow and be better.

This book is a great read for coaches taking over new programs or coaches wanting to change the culture of the program that they are already leading.