A Coach's Diary

One of the hardest parts about being a leader is having to set a line of expectations and then actively live above that line. It’s easy to say, “Work hard, show up early, stay late, compete in every drill, every day, and don’t take any shortcuts,” but nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes. I’ve heard many coaches say, “Do as I say, not as I do.” We know what we need to do, but we don’t always do it. Jesus knew this too, and He addressed this when He was talking to His disciples and the crowds of people about the teachers of religious law at the time to His disciples and crowds of people in Matthew 23. Jesus said, “So practice and obey whatever they tell you, but don’t follow their example. For they don’t practice what they teach. They crush people with unbearable religious demands and never lift a finger to ease the burden. Everything they do is for show. On their arms, they wear extra wide prayer boxes with Scripture verses inside, and they wear robes with extra long tassels.” (M...

I am in the middle of watching the second season of Last Chance U, and ELAC coach John Mosley is frustrated with his team. He has a few high-level transfers in his starting lineup, including a 7 foot 1 inch center from LSU, but Coach Mosley is struggling to get his starters to buy into the hardworking, blue-collar culture that has brought his program success in the past Instead of continuing to start his more high-profile athletes, Coach Mosley has chosen to turn to his tougher, harder-working bench athletes whom he can trust to do what he demands, make the adjustments he needs them to make, and do what he is teaching. His assistant coach said, “There are only 5 guys and 40 minutes, and the dudes that are playing are doing what they are supposed to do.” There are consequences when we do not do what we are supposed to do or are asked to do, and there are rewards when we do. Parable of the Great Feast In Matthew 22, Jesus the priests and elders, the Parable of the Great Feast, a story ab...

I was talking to a coach who had an athlete who was struggling with playing time. She wasn’t doing everything she needed to do to earn the playing time, but worse, she wasn’t being truthful with her parents. She was telling her parents that the coach was playing favorites and she wasn’t one of them, and the parents were giving the coach a hard time because of it. The advice that I gave the coach was to make sure that he was giving clear and effective feedback to the girl and her parents that explained why she wasn’t playing, and how she could earn more playing time. Author and speaker Ashley Merryman says effective feedback does three things: 1 - Makes people think differently   2 - Helps people take ownership of the problem  3 - Helps apply new thinking and new behaviors I told him that Merryman has an acronym called T.R.A.C.K.E.D. that gives a guideline for how to give effective feedback that accomplishes those three things: T - Trustworthy - Can they trust you?  R - ...

NBA legend Kobe Bryant was known for having a killer mentality, and he took that killer mentality onto the Redeem Team when he teamed up with Lebron James and the rest of the 2012 USA Basketball team. Here is what Kobe Bryant said about teaming up with Lebron and teaching him how to have a killer mentality: “The main thing LeBron and I discussed was what constitutes a killer mentality. He watched how I approached every single practice, and I constantly challenged him and the rest of the guys. I remember there was one half when we were messing around. I came into the locker room at half-time and asked the guys—in a less PG manner—what in the hell we were doing. In the second half, LeBron responded in a big way—he came out with a truly dominant mindset. And I’ve seen him lead that way ever since.” Every great team has at least one person with a killer mentality. Kobe Bryant was that person on his Lakers teams, and for Team  USA. In his own words, “I always aimed to killed the opposit...

I was talking with a coach about creating an excellent bench environment for his team. He has 12 athletes on his varsity basketball team, and as they get deeper into the season, athletes at the end of the bench are starting to realize that their place is at the end of the bench, and they are starting to react negatively to their role. Their body language is getting worse and worse, their attitudes are starting to turn negative, and the once positive environment that they had in the pre-season is now eroding because of a lack of equity in playing time. On every team, there are starters and there are bench players. It's just part of team sports. But so often, we talk to the bench players about how they can be great teammates and supportive of their teammates on the court or field, but we don't as often talk to the starters about how to also be great and supportive teammates to the ones who don't play as much. It’s easier to cheer for and support a teammate who is a good perso...

Run your own race, and run it the best you can. Everybody is running their own race, and comparison is the thief of all joy. I once heard a low-major, D1 basketball coach tell the story of a kid on his team who was one of the top ranked 8 th graders in the country when he was 14 years old. This was the kids 3 rd or 4 th college team, and according to the coach, the kid had so much success so early that he never really learned how to manage adversity. On the other hand, there are 100s of college athletes who were late bloomers and were never close to being ranked in middle school who find a lot of success at the college level. Everybody is running their own race. Athletes start their sports journeys at different times, for different reasons, and with different abilities. Some athletes hit the ground running and find success early, and some don’t find success until they have put years of work in. Some athletes are stars when they are younger and fizzle out when puberty hits, and some ...

One of the most important things you can do as an athlete is consistent in how you prepare. So many games are won or lost in preparation, and how well and consistently you get and stay prepared can make or break your career. Getting and staying prepared isn't always fun. It is hard work that requires discipline. Boxing champion Muhammad Ali once said, "I hated every minute of training, but I said, 'Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.'" NBA legend Kobe Bryant was known for being one of the hardest workers and most prepared athletes ever. Preparation was so important to him that Kobe would read the referee's rule books so that he knew everything he could about how the game was officiated. But there are distractions everywhere, and we have to learn how to manage them if we want to find and maintain consistency in our preparation. Here is what Kobe said about his ability to prepare consistently while playing for the US National...

So much of today’s world is driven by social media and the images that we see and create on it. With social media, you can be whatever you what to be, and what you see is the crafted, best version of everyone. This creates a level of comparison and scrutiny that we have never seen in the history of our world. Social media has changed everyone's lives, and it has brought difficulties that the modern athlete has to deal with that we didn't when we were growing up. Part of an athlete's journey, and part of growing up and maturing, is learning how to manage your image and how to manage how you handle how other people see you, talk about you, and perceive you. John Wooden once said, "Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are." Kobe Bryant once said: "When I was young, my mindset was image, image, image. I took that approach with the media. As ...

According to NCAA data, there are about 7,400,000 high school athletes across the country and about 460,000 NCAA athletes. That means that only 6% of high school athletes will play sports in college. Straight is the gate, and narrow is the way. There are other opportunities to play sports in college for schools that don't participate in the NCAA. The NAIA is a league through which smaller athletic programs that are dedicated to character-driven intercollegiate athletics are able to offer around 77,000 student-athletes each year the opportunity to play college sports and compete for $800,000,000 in scholarship opportunities, and for 28 national championships. Junior college is also an opportunity to play college sports. The National Junior College Athletic Association (NJCAA) is home to over 22,200 2-year student-athletes, and to over 1,500 2-year junior college programs that follow a similar scholarship structure to the NCAA, with D1, D2, and D3 colleges. Leagues like the NAIA and ...

In December 2009, Kobe had a serious injury to his right index finger; he had broken his index finger on his shooting hand. When his trainer, Gary Viti, told him about the fracture, Kobe said, "Alright, cool, now get me back out there. Kobe said that Gary looked at him like he was crazy, but Kobe asked him, "Is it going to get better? When Gary said no, Kobe said, "Exactly. There is nothing we can do about it now, and it can't get words, so tape it up and let's go." Every time he got on the court, every shootaround, practice, and game, he would apply a splint on his finger. Then they would wrap it over and over again. The ball would still hurt every time it hit his finger, but mentally he knew he had the protection to absorb just enough of the pain, and he would play through the rest. Kobe Bryant once said, "A lot of people say they want to be great, but they're not willing to make the sacrifices necessary to achieve greatness." This injury cau...

Have you ever had a teammate who always messed up and made the same mistakes over and over again? That can be frustrating, especially when you are in an environment where you have high expectations. When I was a young athlete, I would hate it when we would have to run for our teammate's mistakes. We always had one teammate who never touched the line, who always messed up the drill, and who could never remember the directions or plays. While leadership requires holding the people around you accountable to the standards that are communicated, how we hold them accountable tells a lot about who we are as people. Actress Viola Davis once said, "I don't know what the definition of grace is; only that it meets you where you are and it doesn't leave you how it found you. You want some grace in your life because you are never going to arrive perfectly at any place." In Matthew 18, Jesus gives us an example of how we should hold the people around us accountable, even if the...

I have always had a love/hate relationship. I need them to call fouls and control the game, but I don't need them calling too many fouls on me or my team. I tell my athletes and parents to never forget that referees are people with human feelings and human emotions. My strategy is to never work for the last call but to always work for the next call. When a referee makes a call that goes against our team and we yell at them or argue with them, will that help or hurt our team get a call when it really matters? That is something to think about any time you engage a referee. Also, it is important to know that every referee sees the game and calls the game differently. Some will let you be more physical, and some call games much tighter. Some don't mind talking to players and coaches, and some are more ready to give talkative players and coaches technicals quicker than others. But learning how to manage and work with referees effectively is an important skill to learn and master. Th...

Former NBA champion Joe Dumars once said, "On good teams, coaches hold players accountable; on great teams, players hold players accountable." Accountability is an obligation or willingness to accept responsibility for your actions. Accountable teammates know what is expected of them, and they are empowered to do their best work, while teammates without accountability lack the motivation and discipline needed to achieve their goals. A lack of accountability is one of the biggest problems that can hold teams back. When nobody wants to be at fault or take responsibility for their mistakes, there can be a lot of finger-pointing and blame within the team. Doing the little things right, every day, like showing up on time, touching the line, and doing your job can be the difference between a winning season and a losing season. Great teams can't just rely on great coaching to hold teammates accountable; teammates have to be able to do that for each other, and teammates have to b...

Like many star players and their coaches, Kobe Bryant and Phil Jackson had a complex relationship. They had a lot of success together, but it was not without their struggles. They won three championships in a row together, but Phil Jackson wrote that Kobe Bryant was uncoachable, and after losing in the finals to the Detroit Pistons, stopping them from winning four in a row, Phil Jackson left the Lakers. Jackson returned to Kobe and the Lakers, and they won back-to-back championships during their second run together. Kobe said: "It took us until our second stint together to realize how we were perfectly suited for one another. During our first go-together, Phil thought I was uncoachable. He thought I questioned his authority and questioned his plans. He thought I didn't listen. When he came back, he realized that I was just very inquisitive and unafraid to ask questions. He realized that that's how I process information and learn. Once he put his pulse on that, he was more ...

In our house, we have a saying: No Troll Left Behind . For us, this means nobody is left to do life alone no matter what is going on. We are family, and we do what we can for each other. When someone does well, we celebrate together. When someone is struggling, we rally around them and support them as they find their way back. We also try to live this out in sports. When someone new comes to our team, we try to make them feel like they are an important part of our sports family. We do whatever we can to welcome them in, and we do whatever we can to bring them along with us. But on most teams, somebody gets left behind at one point or another. It might take someone a little longer than the others to learn a play, a skill, or a rotation, and it can be frustrating for a teammate or a coach waiting for a teammate to catch up, but  No Troll Left Behind . It is our job as teammates and friends to do everything we can to help catch them up and to support them. Every athlete has a decision...

In his book, Mamba Mentality, Kobe Bryant wrote, “A good coach is of utmost importance.” Young Kobe was out to prove himself to the world, and I’m sure he gave his earlier coaches headaches, but as he aged, so did his wisdom, and he spoke highly of and with respect for great coaching. Kobe also wrote this: “Coaches are teachers. Some coaches—lesser coaches—try telling you things. Good coaches, however, teach you how to think and arm you with the fundamental tools necessary to execute properly. Simply put, good coaches make sure you know how to use both hands, how to make proper reads, and how to understand the game. Good coaches tell you where the fish are, and great coaches teach you how to find them. That’s the same at every level. In certain situations, like in the midst of a game, good coaches relay execution information. They point out what specifically is and isn’t working. Based on that and your own feel for the game, you utilize some of that information immediately and you save...

Have you ever been on a team where one athlete's bad attitude affected everyone in the group? There is a saying that, "One bad apple spoils the bunch." The phrase is used to describe a situation in which one person's negative attitude can negatively affect the entire group, causing them to have a similar negative attitude. I'm not sure how or where this phrase began, but it does have some basis in science. When apples begin to decay, they emit gasses. If the rotting apple is mixed in with other apples, the good apples can absorb the gasses and begin to rot as well. It is important to keep good apples away from bad apples. I've had similar experiences on teams. I have had teams become torn apart because the negative attitudes and behaviors of one teammate went unchecked. I have also had similar experiences with individual athletes. They allow one bad apple, one negative influence, or one correctable character flaw to negatively affect who they are, and it kills...

Napheesa Collier is a basketball superstar in the WNBA. She sat down with Brett Ledbetter at What Drives Winning and was asked some questions about being a leader, saying, 'No,' and confidence. Question 1: As a leader, you have to be able to hold the people around you accountable. Everybody leads in a different way, and you have to know the people around you, and their personalities, and try to help them be the best they can be in their own way. NC: Delivery is really important. You can say something two different ways; one way will help a person, and one way will cause them to shut down for the rest of the game. The way that you talk to people is so important. I don't mind getting yelled at by my coach, but if you yell at some people, you aren't going to get anything else out of them. And some people need to be yelled at; they don't like to be talked to nicely. Question 2: A lot of performers are pleasers because they want the fans to like what they are doing. The ...