A Coach's Diary

The most valuable lesson I learned this week is that one of the keys to being a better communicator is to speak slower, less, and with more confidence. In the video above, Codie Sanchez talks about how we can be a better speaker or communicator. She says there are 7 speaking patterns that quietly sabotage us. Trap 1: Excessive Hedging You are graded on your competency and confidence. Excessive qualifiers — too much talk and qualifiers — limits your credibility. Say less and say it more confidently. If you’re going to hedge, be smart and strategic about it. Trap 2: Over Explaining Smart people love clarity, and they hate being misunderstood, so they talk too much trying to avoid both. Keep it short and simple. Easy. Meaningful. Compelling. Deliver the correct idea precisely and pause and let the silence do the work. Shorter sentences. Concrete nouns. No jargon. White space. Speak slower. Remove filler words. Trap 3: Talking Too Fast When we get anxious, our heart rate rises and our brea...

Dan Gould is a highly respected American sport psychologist who challenges coaches and leaders by asking: “How do we develop better people through sport?” Winning and performance matters, but Gould’s research shows that sport is most powerful when it intentionally develops life skills — not accidentally. One life skill that he emphasizes that also helps with performance is this: Performance is not just about the pressure you face. It’s about how you interpret it. Two athletes can enter the same championship game. One thinks: “If I mess this up, everything falls apart.” That’s a threat mindset. The other thinks: “This is what I’ve trained for.” That’s a challenge mindset. The situation is identical, but how they see it is completely different. The performance outcome often follows how you perceive it. When athletes see pressure as a threat, heart rate spikes, muscles tighten, thinking narrows, and mistakes increase. When they see it as a challenge, energy becomes fuel, focus sharpens, a...

The most valuable lesson I learned this week is that we should take a breath — or 3 — between meetings. In an interview with Emma Grede, podcaster and author Jay Shetty said everyone should take a breath between meetings or before a meeting so we don’t carry the baggage from the last meeting into the next one. Most of us walk into a new meeting carrying with us what happened in the last one — especially if something bad happened — and we don’t give ourselves a second to decompress or regroup before we throw ourselves back into the storm. Pause and calm your energy by taking a few breaths between high impact meetings so you can be fully present. He then named 5 habits high performers practice: 1 - Thankfulness — If you aren’t thankful for where you are at, you will never be — no matter how much you achieve. Be thankful. 2 - Insight — Learn one new thing — or one new insight — every day. 3 - Mindfulness or Meditation — Schedule meetings or check-ins with yourself at the beginning, mid...

Rainer Martens, the father of modern coaching education, famously challenged the "win-at-all-costs" mentality with a simple, disruptive motto: "Athletes First, Winning Second." What made him a legend was that while many focus on "winning at all costs," Martens revolutionized the field by arguing that the best way to win is actually to put the athlete’s development first. Martens argued that when winning is the only objective, performance actually suffers. Why? Because the fear of losing creates paralyzing anxiety. However, when the focus shifts to the development of the athlete — physically, psychologically, and socially — the scoreboard often takes care of itself. To Martens, a "winning mindset" is about three core psychological skills: Realistic Self-Confidence: Martens defined this not as "hope," but as a realistic expectation of success based on preparation. Energy Management: You can’t reach peak performance if your energy is to...

The most valuable lesson I’ve learned this week is how being a better communicator can lead to a better life. In a video on YouTube titled: “Leveling Up Your Life = Leveling Up Your Communication,” Myron Golden says, “If you learn to talk better, you will do better. In fact, the fastest, best, and most thorough way to level up your life is to level up your ability to communicate. The quality of your life is always going to be in direct correlation to the quality of your communication.” Golden says there are two types of communication: Internal Communication: What we say to ourselves External Communication: What we say to others. Internal communication is made up of our beliefs — the stories we tell ourselves about our expected outcomes. Most people tell themselves unfavorable stories and wonder why they get undesirable outcomes. If you get better at communicating with yourself and telling yourself better stories, every part of your life will get better. Positive thinking doesn’t nece...

Anson Dorrance is a retired American soccer coach widely regarded as one of the most successful coaches in the history of athletics. He spent 47 years at the University of North Carolina (UNC), where he built an unparalleled dynasty in women's college soccer. In an interview on The Great Coaches” Leadership & Life podcast, Coach Dorrance said when he first started coaching, he identified 5 great coaches and selected the most prominent quality from each to add to his own coaching philosophy. In the interview, he said he learned how to exude class from Lynchburg College coach Bill Shellenberger, he studied the presence of European coach Bobby Gansler, and he wanted to have the humility of UNC men’s basketball coach Dean Smith. He wanted to be the best coach he could be, so he studied the best in different areas. Then, Coach Dorrance talked about how he was watching a political news show where the hostess was asked what she was an expert in. When the hostess replied, “Reading com...