A Coach's Diary

Peak performance isn’t about working harder every minute of every day. It’s about learning how to push yourself, recover, and come back stronger. In Peak Performance , Brad Stulberg and Steve Magness explain that growth happens when we balance stress and recovery. Stress challenges us to improve. Recovery allows us to adapt, rebuild, and get better. Think about an athlete who practices hard every day but never gets enough sleep or recovery. Eventually, performance suffers. The same principle applies to leadership, school, and life. Constantly pushing without recharging can lead to burnout, frustration, and declining performance. The goal isn’t to avoid hard things. It’s to approach them with purpose and give yourself the opportunity to recover. Remember: You don’t have to give 100% of your energy every minute. You need to give your best effort when it matters and build habits that allow you to sustain that effort over time. Weekly Challenge: Identify one area where you need to push y...

Great leaders don’t just focus on what they want to say. They focus on understanding the person they’re talking to. Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator, teaches two important communication skills: tactical empathy and calibrated questions. Tactical empathy means understanding another person’s perspective, emotions, and challenges without necessarily agreeing with them. When people feel heard and understood, it becomes easier to build trust and work toward solutions. One way to build that understanding is through calibrated questions . Instead of telling people what to do or immediately offering your solution, ask open-ended questions that encourage them to think. Try asking: “What do you think is getting in our way?” “How can we make this work better?” “What's most important to you in this situation?” “What am I missing?” These questions shift conversations from blame to problem-solving. They help people take ownership instead of simply complying with a decision. The goal i...

Wrestling legend Dan Gable is known for his relentless mindset and commitment to preparation. His philosophy reflects a powerful idea: You may get tired, frustrated, or uncomfortable, but you don't have to give up. The “I Can't Break” mentality isn't about never struggling. It's about deciding that adversity won't determine your response. When things get difficult, you keep showing up, keep competing, and keep looking for a way forward. In sports, you might face a stronger opponent, fall behind on the scoreboard, or have a tough practice when you feel exhausted. In life, you might face setbacks, criticism, or unexpected challenges. You can't always control what happens, but you can control how you respond. Mental toughness isn't built only during big moments. It's developed through small decisions: finishing the drill, keeping your word, accepting coaching, and doing the work when motivation disappears. Remember: You don't have to feel strong to re...

Intent-Based Leadership One of the most important lessons from David Marquet’s Turn the Ship Around! is that great teams don’t need more people giving orders — they need more people taking ownership. Marquet took command of the USS Santa Fe , a struggling nuclear submarine, and recognized that the traditional leader-follower model was limiting his team. Instead of being the person with all the answers, he worked to create a culture where people were expected to think, communicate, and take responsibility. That meant changing the language. Instead of asking for permission by saying, “Can I…?” , sailors were encouraged to say, “I intend to…” The difference seems small, but the message is powerful: I have thought this through, I understand my responsibility, and I am prepared to act. This is what intent-based leadership is all about. In a healthy culture, people shouldn't have to wait for the person at the top to make every decision. Leaders create clarity around the mission, value...

Dr. Brett Steenbarger, a psychologist who has worked extensively with professional traders, teaches an important lesson about performance: your emotions don't have to control your decisions. Trading provides a great example because every decision has uncertainty. You can make a smart decision and still lose money. You can make a poor decision and still get a good result. The same is true in sports, leadership, and life. That means we can't judge ourselves only by the outcome. Instead, we have to learn to evaluate the quality of our process and our response. Emotional resilience isn't about becoming emotionless. It's about noticing your emotions without allowing them to take over. Fear, frustration, excitement, and disappointment are all information. The key is learning to recognize them, regulate them, and return to your process. One bad decision doesn't need to become five bad decisions. One mistake doesn't need to ruin the rest of your performance. The best pe...

When I moved into my first leadership role, the most eye-opening thing that I learned was how few people were willing to do what I was willing to do as an individual performer. I thought everyone tried to go above and beyond as fast as they could like I tried to, but I was wrong. In his book, Move Your Bus , Ron Clark uses a simple metaphor to describe the different ways people show up on a team: Runners, Joggers, Walkers, Riders, and Drivers. Runners are your all-stars who consistently go above and beyond without waiting to be told what needs to be done — they see it, act, and go above and beyond. Joggers are dependable. The do their jobs well without pushing themselves too hard. Walkers get pulled along and need more direction, encouragement, or accountability to increase their impact. Riders hold the team back because they pick up their feet and slow down the whole process. And then there are Drivers — the MVPs responsible for steering the bus. They create the vision, set the d...