A Coach's Diary

Being a girl dad (times three) is the hardest, most rewarding, and most challenging leadership and coaching job I've ever had. When I had my first daughter, I asked my dad, "What am I supposed to do with a girl?" I'll never forget what he said: "Just show up, and they'll tell you what to do." That's what I've tried to do, but the hardest part is that you never know what you're going to get. When they were young, they listened to everything I said and followed just about everything I told them to do. But when they became preteens, everything changed. And when they became full-blown teenagers, all bets were off! But the teenage years are so important. How can you abandon my guidance and leadership now? What am I supposed to do? Keep showing up the best I can. That's what coaching and leadership are all about. You can have a vision and a plan, but you have to execute WITH other people. And that requires patience, consistency, discipline, and...

In his book Legacy, James Kerr shares one of the most powerful lessons from the New Zealand All Blacks rugby team: Sweep the Sheds. After games, even the team's biggest stars are expected to help clean the locker room. It doesn't matter how talented, experienced, or successful you are — nobody is above the responsibility of taking care of the little things. The philosophy is simple: No job is beneath you, and no task is someone else's responsibility just because of your position. It's easy to talk about leadership, culture, and being a great teammate, but those things aren't built through words — they’re built through actions. They show up in how you treat people, how you take care of your environment, and whether you're willing to do the little things without needing recognition. The best leaders don't just leave a legacy through what they accomplish. They leave one through how they serve others along the way. The Challenge: Don't wait for someone else ...

Culture isn’t built by what you say once. It’s built by how you treat people every day. Dr. John Gottman, a psychologist known for his research on relationships, identified a powerful pattern: stable, successful relationships tend to maintain approximately five positive interactions for every one negative interaction, particularly during conflict. What does this have to do with teamwork and culture? Everything. Teams are built on relationships. Coaches give feedback. Leaders hold people accountable. Teammates make mistakes. Conflict happens. But the way we communicate through those moments determines whether people feel supported or constantly criticized. The 5:1 ratio doesn't mean avoiding tough conversations or pretending everything is great. It means building enough trust, encouragement, appreciation, and connection that people can hear difficult feedback without questioning whether you care about them. Think about your team. Do your athletes hear more criticism than encourageme...

Have you ever been so locked into something that you lost track of time? You weren’t thinking about the next play, worrying about the outcome, or checking your phone. You were completely present. That’s the idea behind a flow state . Dr. Inma Martinez explores the intersection of technology, human performance, and innovation. When we think about flow and hyper-focus, the lesson is simple: our best work often happens when we give our attention to one thing at a time. Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s research on flow suggests that we are more likely to experience it when three conditions come together: a clear goal, a challenge that matches our skills, and immediate feedback. Think about an athlete in practice. If the drill is too easy, they get bored. If it’s too difficult, they get frustrated. But when the challenge pushes them just beyond their comfort zone, they have an opportunity to grow. The same applies to leadership, work, and life. Your challenge this Monday: Pick one im...

“Every team needs a coach, and the best coaches make good teams great. The same goes in business. Any company that wants to succeed in a time where technology has suffused every industry and most aspects of consumer life, where speed and innovation are paramount, must have team coaching as part of its culture. Coaching is the best way to mold people into powerful teams.” The Trillion Dollar Coach is a leadership playbook based on the teachings of Bill Campbell, a legendary executive coach who mentored leaders at companies like Google and Apple, helping them build stronger teams, better relationships, and successful organizations. In the Forward and Chapter 1, the authors did a great job of explaining how Bill, a former coach, became one of the most trusted voices in Silicon Valley. The book states, “To be a great manager, you have to be a great coach. After all, the higher you climb, the more your success depends on making other people successful. By definition, that’s what coaches do....

Great leaders don't just share information. They help people see what's possible and inspire them to take action. In Resonate , Nancy Duarte explains a powerful storytelling technique called the Sparkline . The idea is to contrast what is with what could be . Leaders can use this structure to help teams understand the gap between their current reality and their desired future. Start by acknowledging where the team is today. What is working? What isn't? What challenges are standing in the way? Then paint a picture of what the team could accomplish if everyone committed to a shared vision. The power comes from moving back and forth between the current reality and the future possibility. This creates a reason for people to care about the change and see how their contributions matter. Think about a team with inconsistent communication. A leader could simply demand better communication. Or the leader could describe the frustration caused by missed expectations, then contrast it...