A Coach's Diary

Some athletes believe confidence is something you either have or you don’t. Martin Seligman proved that’s not true. Through his research in psychology, Seligman introduced the idea of learned optimism — the belief that the way we explain things to ourselves shapes how we perform, respond, and grow. In his book Learned Optimism, he explains: “Optimism is invaluable for a meaningful life. With firm belief in a positive future, you can throw yourself into the service of that which is larger than you are.” At the core of this idea is something called explanatory style — how you explain success and failure to yourself. You don’t control everything that happens — but you can control the story you tell yourself about it. When something goes wrong, pessimistic athletes tend to think: This always happens to me (permanent) This affects everything (pervasive) This is my fault (personal) Optimistic athletes flip that: This is temporary This is specific This is something I can improve Same situa...

One of the most powerful ideas in motivation and performance comes from Teresa Amabile, called The Progress Principle . After studying thousands of workdays across different industries, she found something surprising: It’s not big wins, bonuses, or recognition that drive people the most day-to-day — it’s progress. She writes in The Progress Principle: “Of all the things that can boost emotions, motivation, and perceptions during a workday, the single most important is making progress in meaningful work.” That means people don’t need everything to be perfect or finished to feel motivated. They just need to feel like they’re moving forward. When people see progress — even small wins — they gain energy, confidence, and momentum. When they feel stuck, motivation drops quickly. So as leaders, coaches, or teammates, the goal isn’t just to push for results. It’s to create environments where people can see and feel progress every day. That might look like: Breaking big goals into smaller step...

Why do some athletes keep improving, while others stay stuck? Carol Dweck explains it through two types of mindset: fixed and growth . A fixed mindset believes: “I am what I am.” Talent is set. If I struggle, it means I’m not good enough. A growth mindset believes: “I can get better.” Ability can be developed. Struggle is part of improvement. Dweck puts it simply: “Becoming is better than being.” People with a fixed mindset are focused on proving themselves , and people with growth mindsets are focused on improving themselves. Think about how this shows up: Miss a shot: “I’m just not a shooter” (fixed) Miss a shot: “What can I adjust?” (growth) Get feedback: “Coach doesn’t believe in me” (fixed) Get feedback: “This will help me get better” (growth) The difference isn’t talent. It’s how you interpret what happens to you. Your mindset shapes your response — and your response shapes your results. The best athletes aren’t the ones who never struggle. They’re the ones who use struggle a...

The most valuable lesson I learned this week is that every morning when you are choosing what clothes to wear, you should ask yourself 6 words: How do you want to feel? Erin Walsh is a celebrity stylist who also teaches on the psychology of getting dressed with intention. She said the one question she wants people to ask themselves before they go into their closet is: How do I want to feel? Most people dress for comfort or for how they want to be seen, but when you do so, you give someone or something else the power. To answer the question, Erin says 3 words are helpful: Choose 3 words that you want to feel or embody that day. Most days, Erin uses the words effortless, easy, and elegant. Finally, Erin says you need to have at least 3 pieces in your closest that you feel great about. Her 3 pieces are a great pair of jeans that make her feel comfortable in her own skin, a great white shirt that makes her feel classic, refined, and beautiful, and a black blazer that is both stylish and pr...

The best leaders I’ve been around have a healthy mix of confidence and humility. They are smart, skilled, and capable — but they also know they aren’t perfect. And they have an effective way of communicating that balance. They are vulnerable. Brené Brown is a research professor, author, and speaker best known for her work on vulnerability, courage, shame, and leadership. She studies what gets in the way of people showing up fully — and teaches how to push through it so we can lead, connect, and perform better. She defines vulnerability not as weakness, but as the “birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.” Her work highlights that being vulnerable requires the courage to show up and be seen, even when you can’t control the outcome. And the truth is — very rarely can we control the outcome. Being vulnerable helps us connect with the people we work with, be honest about who we are, and find the best path forward. It’s our ability to share our thoughts, feelings, and experiences w...

What separates good teams from great teams? It’s not just talent or strategy — it’s whether people feel empowered . Laszlo Bock, former head of People Operations at Google, found that the best cultures don’t control people—they trust them. He said: “Give your people a little more power than you’re comfortable giving, and you will find they almost always rise to the challenge.” In low-trust cultures, leaders: Control decisions Micromanage details Limit ownership In high-performing cultures, leaders: Give people a voice Trust them with responsibility Encourage ownership and decision-making High-performing teams don’t build followers — they build leaders, and when people feel empowered, they don’t just do their job — they take pride in it. They think more, care more, and lead more. But empowerment isn’t just about freedom — it’s about trust and accountability . You can’t say, “Take ownership,” and then control every move, and you can’t give freedom without clear standards. Trust but veri...

Most people think greatness comes from talent, but sport psychologist Anders Ericsson’s research says something different: Greatness comes from how you practice. He introduced the idea of deliberate practice — a specific type of practice designed not just to repeat a skill, but to improve it. Ericsson once said, “The right sort of practice carried out over a sufficient period of time leads to improvement. Nothing else.” That’s important — because not all practice is equal. A lot of athletes practice , but they stay the same. Why? Because they’re going through the motions instead of pushing their limits. Deliberate practice has a few key characteristics: It’s specific — you’re working on a specific part of your game It’s challenging — just beyond your current ability It includes feedback — from a coach, teammate, or even yourself It requires focus — full attention, not mindless reps Think about the difference: Shooting 100 jump shots = regular practice Focusing on your footwork or ...

The most valuable lesson I learned this week is that if you want to live the life you really want, you have to learn how to pick yourself. We spend too much time waiting for someone to pick us, but we have to pick ourselves and do the work. Don’t sit and hide while waiting for someone to pick you — write the book, apply for the job, start making the videos, take the shot.  Just do the thing you want to do. But how do you know what to do? Seth said to make work that matters for people who care. It can be a little bit of work for one person — then do it again. He called it “Intentional design.” Whatever you want to do, ask two questions: Who is it for, and what is it for? Seth says the “ Smallest Viable Audience” is the smallest group of people you can make an impact on, and the “Smallest Piece of Art” is the smallest thing you can do that is worth it. Do work that matters for people who care. Don’t do it for people who don’t matter, don’t do work that doesn’t matter, and don’t do...

Most teams spend a lot of time building the perfect strategy: The right plan, the right system, and the right goals. But Peter Drucker reminds us of something more important: “Culture eats strategy for breakfast.” In other words —  You can have a great plan, but if your culture isn’t right, the plan won’t work. Culture is what we do, how we do it, and why. It’s the habits, standards, and behaviors that define your team. Here’s the reality: A strong strategy with a weak culture = inconsistent results A strong culture with an average strategy = teams find a way Culture drives behavior, and behavior drives performance. You can say teamwork matters, but if players don’t trust each other, it won’t show up in games. You can say accountability matters, but if no one holds the standard, nothing changes. Your culture determines whether your strategy actually works, so before asking, “What’s our plan?” great teams ask, “Who are we—and how do we show up every day?” Because when the culture is...

John F. Murray is a well-known sports psychologist who has worked with elite athletes, especially in tennis, and focuses on one central idea: your mind is either helping you perform — or getting in your way. Murray’s approach is simple and practical. He teaches that performance isn’t just about talent or physical skill — it’s about mental habits. The best athletes train their thinking just like they train their bodies. Murray often focuses on three key mental skills: Confidence – Believing you can execute, even under pressure Focus – Staying locked into the present moment Composure – Managing emotions when things don’t go your way When those three are aligned, athletes play freely. When one breaks down—confidence drops, focus drifts, or emotions spike—performance drops with it. Murray emphasizes that confidence is built, not found. It comes from preparation, repetition, and how you respond to mistakes. Murray once said, “You play the way you think.” Athletes often think performance pro...