A Coach's Diary

The best leaders I’ve been around have a healthy mix of confidence and humility. They are smart, skilled, and capable — but they also know they aren’t perfect. And they have an effective way of communicating that balance. They are vulnerable. Brené Brown is a research professor, author, and speaker best known for her work on vulnerability, courage, shame, and leadership. She studies what gets in the way of people showing up fully — and teaches how to push through it so we can lead, connect, and perform better. She defines vulnerability not as weakness, but as the “birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.” Her work highlights that being vulnerable requires the courage to show up and be seen, even when you can’t control the outcome. And the truth is — very rarely can we control the outcome. Being vulnerable helps us connect with the people we work with, be honest about who we are, and find the best path forward. It’s our ability to share our thoughts, feelings, and experiences w...

What separates good teams from great teams? It’s not just talent or strategy — it’s whether people feel empowered . Laszlo Bock, former head of People Operations at Google, found that the best cultures don’t control people—they trust them. He said: “Give your people a little more power than you’re comfortable giving, and you will find they almost always rise to the challenge.” In low-trust cultures, leaders: Control decisions Micromanage details Limit ownership In high-performing cultures, leaders: Give people a voice Trust them with responsibility Encourage ownership and decision-making High-performing teams don’t build followers — they build leaders, and when people feel empowered, they don’t just do their job — they take pride in it. They think more, care more, and lead more. But empowerment isn’t just about freedom — it’s about trust and accountability . You can’t say, “Take ownership,” and then control every move, and you can’t give freedom without clear standards. Trust but veri...

Most people think greatness comes from talent, but sport psychologist Anders Ericsson’s research says something different: Greatness comes from how you practice. He introduced the idea of deliberate practice — a specific type of practice designed not just to repeat a skill, but to improve it. Ericsson once said, “The right sort of practice carried out over a sufficient period of time leads to improvement. Nothing else.” That’s important — because not all practice is equal. A lot of athletes practice , but they stay the same. Why? Because they’re going through the motions instead of pushing their limits. Deliberate practice has a few key characteristics: It’s specific — you’re working on a specific part of your game It’s challenging — just beyond your current ability It includes feedback — from a coach, teammate, or even yourself It requires focus — full attention, not mindless reps Think about the difference: Shooting 100 jump shots = regular practice Focusing on your footwork or ...

The most valuable lesson I learned this week is that if you want to live the life you really want, you have to learn how to pick yourself. We spend too much time waiting for someone to pick us, but we have to pick ourselves and do the work. Don’t sit and hide while waiting for someone to pick you — write the book, apply for the job, start making the videos, take the shot.  Just do the thing you want to do. But how do you know what to do? Seth said to make work that matters for people who care. It can be a little bit of work for one person — then do it again. He called it “Intentional design.” Whatever you want to do, ask two questions: Who is it for, and what is it for? Seth says the “ Smallest Viable Audience” is the smallest group of people you can make an impact on, and the “Smallest Piece of Art” is the smallest thing you can do that is worth it. Do work that matters for people who care. Don’t do it for people who don’t matter, don’t do work that doesn’t matter, and don’t do...

Most teams spend a lot of time building the perfect strategy: The right plan, the right system, and the right goals. But Peter Drucker reminds us of something more important: “Culture eats strategy for breakfast.” In other words —  You can have a great plan, but if your culture isn’t right, the plan won’t work. Culture is what we do, how we do it, and why. It’s the habits, standards, and behaviors that define your team. Here’s the reality: A strong strategy with a weak culture = inconsistent results A strong culture with an average strategy = teams find a way Culture drives behavior, and behavior drives performance. You can say teamwork matters, but if players don’t trust each other, it won’t show up in games. You can say accountability matters, but if no one holds the standard, nothing changes. Your culture determines whether your strategy actually works, so before asking, “What’s our plan?” great teams ask, “Who are we—and how do we show up every day?” Because when the culture is...

John F. Murray is a well-known sports psychologist who has worked with elite athletes, especially in tennis, and focuses on one central idea: your mind is either helping you perform — or getting in your way. Murray’s approach is simple and practical. He teaches that performance isn’t just about talent or physical skill — it’s about mental habits. The best athletes train their thinking just like they train their bodies. Murray often focuses on three key mental skills: Confidence – Believing you can execute, even under pressure Focus – Staying locked into the present moment Composure – Managing emotions when things don’t go your way When those three are aligned, athletes play freely. When one breaks down—confidence drops, focus drifts, or emotions spike—performance drops with it. Murray emphasizes that confidence is built, not found. It comes from preparation, repetition, and how you respond to mistakes. Murray once said, “You play the way you think.” Athletes often think performance pro...

The most valuable lesson I learned this week is that if you want to make big changes, start small by figuring out what you want to do and then defining 3 things: what you will do, when you will do it, and where you will do it. Author James Clear says, “Life is a game of momentum, and one of the powerful things about starting with small habits is that you make it easy for yourself to show up each day, but you also make it easy for yourself to get a win.” Too often, we hope for motivation and inspiration to strike us, but while we often feel like we lack motivation, we actually lack clarity. Clear says we should have “Implementation Intentions.” This means declaring what you will do, when, and where. Here is how you do it: I will _________, on __________, at _________. For example: I will workout, on Friday, at 24 hour fitness. Having a clear plan for when and where you will do something or implement a new habit, you are more likely to stick with it. Making decisions ahead of time instea...

Why do some teams trust each other, communicate better, and perform at a higher level? Simon Sinek explains it through a concept called the Circle of Safety. The idea is simple: When people feel safe with each other, they perform better for each other. Sinek says: “When people feel safe and protected by the organization, the natural response is to trust and cooperate.” Inside the Circle of Safety, teammates feel: Supported, not judged Valued, not ignored Safe to speak up, not afraid to mess up And when that happens, something powerful changes: People stop protecting themselves and start protecting the team. But when that safety isn’t there? People hide mistakes. They avoid accountability. They compete against each other instead of for each other. That’s when teams break down — not because of talent, but because of trust. You can’t be fully focused or perform at your best if you are busy thinking or worrying about whether or not you are safe or belong. Here’s the key: Great teams aren...

Karen Cogan is a sport psychologist known for her practical approach to building mental toughness. Her work focuses on helping athletes simplify the mental side of performance into a few trainable habits. Her core idea: Mental toughness isn’t complicated — it’s the consistent execution of a few key mental skills under pressure. Cogan emphasizes three foundational mental skills: Goal Setting: Clear, specific goals give you direction and purpose. This includes both outcome goals (what you want) and process goals (how you’ll get there). Imagery (Visualization): Mentally rehearsing success prepares the brain and body for performance. Seeing yourself execute builds confidence and reduces anxiety. Positive Self-Talk: The way you talk to yourself shapes how you perform. Replacing doubt with constructive, confident language helps you stay composed and focused. Why This Matters Pressure doesn’t create habits — it exposes them. When you consistently practice goal setting, visualization, and self...

In a TEDx Talk , author Patrick Lencioni says life is a team sport, and we are in the era of teamwork. If we want to be the best we can be for ourselves and others, we have to strive to be ideal teammates. He says there are 3 areas that you have to master to be a great teammate: Humble , Hungry , Smart (Emotionally and Socially Intelligent) While hitting 1 out of 3 is good in baseball, and making 2 out of 3 of your shots is good in basketball, you have to go 3 out of 3 to be an ideal teammate. Here Is How Lencioni Defines The Big 3 1 - Humility - Humility is putting others ahead of ourselves while still shining our light and being the best we can be. C.S. Lewis said, “Humility isn’t thinking less of ourselves, it’s thinking about ourselves less.” 2 - Hungry - You have to develop an innate sense to do good work and to get things done. People who are hungry want to go above and beyond in everything they do, they have a high standard for what they do and never do the bare minimum. Be hu...