A Coach's Diary

Fear is one of the most powerful emotions that we have, and it is one of the worst feelings. Fear can stop you in your tracks, freeze you in place, and keep you from doing what you want to do or need to do to be successful. My first year as a head coach, I would get so nervous and fearful right before tip-off that my fingers and knees would start shaking, and I would want to walk off the court and into the stands to watch the game with everyone else. I would ask myself, “How can I be a coach if I am so afraid to coach?” I am now about to begin my 15th year as a coach. I made it through the fear. I did it afraid until I wasn’t afraid anymore. I still get nervous before almost every game, but it is now a healthy nervousness that is manageable. Through my journey, I learned that courage isn’t the absence of fear. Courage is doing what you want to do or need to do in the face of fear. You can’t wait until you don’t feel fear because fear is always going to be present and trying to stop you...

Kobe Bryant was asked a simple question, "Who was your greatest teacher growing up?"  Kobe said he had a lot of great teachers, and that included his parents. They instilled in him the importance of imagination and curiosity. They also taught him that he could do whatever he wants, but he has to put in the work to get there. Kobe grew up with the fundamental belief that he could do anything he wanted if he was willing to put in the work. But basketball wasn't always easy for him. When he was 11 years old, he played in a very prominent summer league in Philadelphia called the Sonny Hill League. His father, his uncle, and NBA legends like Wilt Chamberlain and Earl the Pearl Monroe played in this league. He went the entire summer without scoring one point. Kobe said he was terrible and still growing into his body, but he didn't score a single point at all. He said that he remembered crying about it and his father just gave him a hug and said, "Listen, whether you sc...

Do you get nervous? Kobe Bryant was once working with a group of young athletes on a panel for a Project Play summit when he asked one of the athletes, "Do you get nervous?" They said, "A little. Some butterflies, maybe." Kobe replied, "Completely normal. Same thing you get before you play or perform." He then told them a story. He said that before going onto the court to play games, he would wait in the tunnel of the arena and listen to the crowd. He was like a character in a movie, and he was ready to embrace his role as either the hero or the villain - whichever character he needed to be. He was ready to earn the cheers and the boos. Just before jogging onto the floor, if he still felt anxious or nervous, Kobe would mentally transform into "The Black Mamba," emotionless and untouchable. It was like Maximus, the Roman general who later fought as a Gladiator in the arena, rubbing dirt on his hands before going into battle. No opponent or circums...

Have you ever played with someone who made you more confident just because they were on your team? Paige Buekers plays basketball for the University of Connecticut. She was the number 1 player in the country in high school and won the National Player of the Year award as a freshman. She is a great basketball player, and by all accounts, a great person. But like many athletes, Paige has had to battle through injuries. Early in her sophomore season, Paige missed over 2 months of the season because of a knee injury. During that time, UConn's women's basketball team, one of the most dominant teams in the sport over the last 20 years, dropped out of the top-10 rankings for the first time in 17 years. Their head coach, Geno Auriemma, said, "When we lost her, a lot of other players really felt that loss hard because it puts so much on their shoulders. They began to understand just how much Paige does for them." He then said, "She gives them confidence. Teams' confid...

All the Smoke is a weekly podcast series featuring former NBA players Matt Barnes and Stephen Jackson. In one of their latest episodes, they interviewed Kenny Smith. Kenny played at the University of North Carolina with Michael Jordan and for the legendary coach Dean Smith. When he was asked to tell a story about Coach Smith, Kenny told a fantastic story that is a MUST listen for EVERY coach, teacher, and anyone who leads or works with people. Coach Smith sent one of his assistant coaches to Africa for a week to learn more about the culture of one of their athletes. They had a young man on their team named Makhtar N'diaye. Makhtar was having a tough time in practice, and assistant coach Bill Guthridge there him out of practice. After practice, Coach Smith goes to Makhtar and asks if everything is alright. Makhtar would respond, but he wouldn't look Coach Smith in his eyes. Coach Smith told Makhtar, "Look at me when I'm talking to you." Makhtar told him in his cult...

Hailey Van Lith is one of the best college basketball players in the country. She helped lead the University of Louisville to the Final Four as a sophomore, and she has already won a couple of gold medals playing for the United States in the FIBA World Cup and in the FIBA 3x3 World Cup. What I love most about Hailey is that she has a solid foundation built on hard work and toughness. When Hailey was in high school, she would train with her dad every day after practice for 1.5 - 2 hours. She said that her dad raised her in a culture of ‘always working,’ and she doesn’t really know anything else. Hailey also said she can see the difference between her competitors who have worked hard over the years, and the competitors who relied on talent and athleticism. At some point, your talent and athleticism won’t be enough to outweigh hard work and grit. Our foundation is important because as author James Clear says, “You don’t rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your system...

Managing relationships on teams is just as important - if not more important - than managing Xs and Os. Two important questions that coaches and teams who are looking to increase their team's self-awareness and connectedness are:  How well are we working together? How might we get better at it? Treatment Agreements are a very important part of what I do as a coach because every athlete wants to receive feedback, praise, and criticism differently. Treatment Agreements systematically help us answer those two questions proactively and reactively. Some athletes want to be praised publicly and criticized privately, and some need the complete opposite. For some athletes, how they receive praise and feedback truly doesn't matter, but for many, how we communicate with them could be the difference between our athletes giving us their best effort or shutting down on the team.  Our athletes also respond differently to how coaches praise and criticize them versus how their teammates prai...