Keys to Business Success with My Wife Sara Blakely

Failure is a part of everyone’s journey. The most successful people have a vision, create a plan, and stick to it no matter how much fear or failure they have or experience.

Sara Blakely, the founder of Spanx, started with $5,000 and a dream and turned it into a billion-dollar business while balancing family and friends.

In an interview with her husband, Jesse Itzler, Sara shared some of the keys to her success.

Lemons Out of Lemonade

Sara said she grew up wanting to be a lawyer because her dad was a trial attorney, but she was a terrible test-taker and after she bombed the LSAT twice, she changed the trajectory of her life. She said when bad things happen, they often feel like the worst thing ever but they often push us to our true purpose.

Sara went to work at Disney for 3 months before taking a job selling fax machines for 7 years. She said she was kicked out of business every day, and one day decided she was in the wrong movie and wanted to do something different.

Self-Discovery

Sara said she asked herself what she was good at, and when she decided on sales, she asked herself why - Why did she like sales? She said she likes giving something to someone that they didn’t know they needed or improved their life. 

Sara then wrote, “I want to invent something that I can sell to millions of people that will make them feel good.” She then said to the universe, “If you give me the idea, I won’t squander it,” and two years later, she found the idea of Spanx.

Sara said she was ready for it because she had set the intention prior, and she spent the next 2 years working nights and weekends building Spanx while still selling fax machines to keep her income coming in.

She said some of the best inventions come from everyday problems and asks why we have them and how we can fix them.

Sara also said entrepreneurs do one of 2 things:

• They invent something new

• They find new, better ways of doing something.

When Sara was asked whether or not she thought it was going to work, she said she knew it would because it not working wasn’t an option, but she felt a lot of internal and external validation.

After inventing Spanx, she was quickly chosen as Oprah’s favorite product of the year which was great validation for her and free advertising.

She said she knew she would be on Oprah in college, and manifestation has been an important part of her journey. She can see her success so clearly that she just has to figure out how to fill in the blanks.

Sara spends a lot of time daydreaming and letting her mind wander. She finds time on her calendar to daydream and let her mind wander.

She says it’s important to find ways to capture your ideas because ideas are gifts from the universe.

When she was 16, her dad gave her a tape from Wayne Dyer titled How to Be a No Limit Person. He was a psychologist who put all of his work and observations into teaching mindset and becoming a motivational speaker.

It came during a tough time in her life, and she said the dark times in our lives are where growth happens. She said those dark times created the space where she was willing to less to Wayne, and if she wasn’t in a tough place, she probably wouldn’t have been open to listening to tapes like that.

Purpose: Make it Bigger Thank Yourself

Sara says she always makes what she is doing bigger than herself because that is how you find the courage than you ever had and you will stick with something longer and go through more.

She said supporting and uplifting women are the purposes that are bigger than yourself.

Be a Pole Vaulter

My biggest takeaway from this entire interview came from Sara’s dad. He said as a trial lawyer, he learned about how important it is to learn how to fail.

He said pole vaulters don’t know their limits until they fail. They keep raising the bar higher and higher until they reach their limits by hitting and knocking down the bar three times in a row, but they don’t stop raising the bar until they do.

If they fail and hit the bar once or twice, they don’t quit, they just try again and keep raising the bar.

That is what we need to do in life - keep raising the bar until we fail multiple times, then reset, see what we need to learn, get better, then try again.

Tom Brady's Leadership Playbook

Do you need a reason to keep going and not quit? Learn from one of the greatest, Tom Brady. Tom started his football career late and slowly, but he leveraged a growth mindset and a competitive spirit to become one of the best athletes of all time.

We now know Tom Brady as one of the best quarterbacks ever to play, but he got a late start in football, he wasn’t very good when he started, and he had to overcome more adversity than most would go through on his journey to becoming a Hall of Fame, Super Bowl winning QB.

In an interview titled The Leadership Playbook, Brady says he didn’t start playing football until he was a freshman in high school and was the backup QB who never played on a team that didn’t win any games.

He said he became the starting JV QB the next year because the starting quarterback chose to quit football to play basketball.

Brady grew into his body as a junior and became the starting varsity quarterback while working with a mentor who helped him improve his mechanics.

This experience taught him how to have a competitive attitude, discipline, and determination to improve, as well as how to surround himself with people who could help him improve.

Brady earned a scholarship to the University of Michigan. In his freshman year, he went from being the 7th-string quarterback to the 4th-string quarterback. In his sophomore year, he was the 3rd-string quarterback, and in his junior year, he was the backup on a national championship team.

He said the grind of working his way through the depth chart prepared him to start and be the captain as a senior.

Despite having success at Michigan, he wasn’t drafted until the 6th round as the 199th pick by the New England Patriots. 

In his rookie season, Brady was the 4th string quarterback, and in his 2nd year, he was the back-up until the starter Drew Bledsoe got knocked out of the game in the 2nd game of the season, he became the starter and never left the field after that.

How does something like this happen?

Growth mindset and the power of yet.

Brady always believed in himself and his ability to get better, and he surrounded himself with great people who taught him well, motivated him when he needed it, and gave him great advice and perspective.

When Tom was a backup, he said he might only get two reps in practice, but a mentor told him to make those two reps the best reps possible. Then those two reps turned to 4, then to 8, and kept increasing until he became the starter.

Some people would have quit in his situation, but he just kept fighting to get better, and that fighter’s mindset helped him win Super Bowls in the NFL.

FEA

Tom was later asked about FEA, and he said it means F’em all. He said there are so many people in the world trying to tear other people down, and when he played with the Patriots, so many people wanted to see them lose or made excuses for why they won so much. Tom said their mindset was to take down whoever was in their way, and did this by focusing on doing the right thing every day. He said they didn’t always win and their best wasn’t always enough, but that approach gave them more of an opportunity to succeed.

Brady said this mindset created the energy and action he needed to be successful on the field, and he talked about how he never had any friends on the field, only enemies whom he wanted to dominate.

Internal vs External Motivation

Brady then talked about the importance of being motivated. He said some people wake up and are internally motivated, and others are externally motivated and need an extra push, and he talks about how he challenges people to create a more motivated and competitive environment.

Brady said their job wasn’t to just show up and punch a clock, they were there to push each other to success, and when you do, there is enough credit to go around for everybody. He said the greatest joy is experiencing those moments with other people and he has 1,000s of brothers because of the journey.

There is a lot more in the video, including his thoughts during his record-breaking Super Bowl comeback against the Atlanta Falcons in Super Bowl 51, so check it out!

Carol Dweck: The Power of Believing That You Can Improve

Do you ever feel like you aren’t good enough or can’t do something you think you should be able to or want to do, or that everyone is ahead of you or better than you?

The reality is - you might not be good enough … yet.

The Power of Yet is something educator and psychologist Carol Dweck talks about in her Ted Talk: The power of believing that you can improve.

We are programmed to praise talent and success, and sometimes we think if we aren’t the smartest, the fastest, or the best socially, we aren’t good enough.

Carol said we should instead recognize, reward, and praise effort, grit, and the ability to learn because when we do and when we have a growth mindset, we will put in the work needed to get better and might even pass up the more naturally talented and gifted people who were ahead of us while learning some valuable lessons on the way.

Instead of saying “I’m not good,” “I’m not smart,” or, “I can’t do it,” say, “I’m not good, smart, or can’t do it yet.” That one word could change your mindset and your future.

Her research says when we have a fixed mindset, we are more likely to lie, cheat, and steal our way through life while avoiding challenges, and when we have a growth mindset, we are more likely to seek challenges because we know they are what helps us grow into become our best selves.

Which one are you? Do you have a growth mindset that seeks out challenging opportunities to learn and grow, or do you have a fixed mindset where you think you are what you are and avoid challenges and new opportunities?

Take small steps and celebrate small wins. Build one new habit or learn one new skill and celebrate it. Make one call, approach one person, or send one email or text message. Dream big, start small, and then stick to the plan.

The only people who truly lose are the ones who quit. Surround yourself with a team of people who won’t let you quit and who will keep pushing you.

You aren’t who you want to be or where you want to be … yet!

Landry Fields: Making Peace with the Pit

Landry Fields played 5 seasons in the NBA and is the GM of the Atlanta Hawks. In an interview with Brett Ledbetter and What Drives Winning, he says when working with his young guys, he likes to map out a journey of development that everyone goes through that is a mix of The 4 Stages of Competence and The Hero’s Journey.

The 4 Stages of Competence is a model that describes the learning process, including the inevitable need to overcome struggles and obstacles.

He says this helps bring language to our experiences and the feelings that come with those feelings.

Here are the 4 stages:

Stage 1: Unconscious Incompetence: Blind Confidence

You have blind confidence because you don’t know what you don’t know, and your excitement and innocence have not been tarnished by struggle or reality.

This is like a rookie being drafted into the NBA or someone getting a new, great opportunity.

Stage 2: Conscious Incompetence: No Confidence

He calls this The Fall. When you face obstacles and adversity, you fall into the pit where you realize there is so much you don’t know and don’t know how to do, which leads to a blow to the ego and a loss of confidence.

Here, you have to figure out what you want to do - will you make excuses and stay stuck, will you lie, cheat, and steal your way out of it, or will you learn and grow your way out of it the right way so you character grows with your skill and confidence?

This is like a rookie realizing he is going to have to come off the bench for the first time.

Stage 3: Conscious Competence: Sober Confidence

You know what you need to get better and how to do it.

This is when you accept that you have to fight your way to the top and you know what you have to do to get there.

Stage 4: Unconscious Competence: Mature Confidence

You are in the flow state where you can do what you want and need to do without thinking about it.

This is when you have figured it out and have confidently earned your spot.

Building Your Team

Landry then says to get through the 4 stages, “You need someone beyond you, beside you, and behind you.”

Find a guide or mentor who will help lead you, a teammate that you can go through the journey with, and someone with whom you can share what you are going through and learning.

Making Peace With the Pit

Brett asks him to explain further what it means to make peace with the pit. Landry says it means being honest about where you are and having the humility to accept where you are.

Then, give yourself time to get the reps in that you need to get better, and surround yourself with people and resources who are going to help you climb out of it.

Landy says one of the things that makes it hard to climb out of the pit is the science behind how our brains work. Our brains want to hold on to energy and not give it away, and it takes a lot of energy to change ourselves, our thoughts, and our habits, so often, we would rather stay the same than exert the energy needed to change.

How Do We Get Them Out of the Pit

When asked how he helps get his athletes out of the pit, Landy says he tries to be a good mirror and ask good questions. Landry asks himself, “How can I ask necessary questions for them to see themselves in a sober light?”

He says it can take a lot of questions to unearth what they are fighting and what they need, but this is the first step to helping them get out of the pit.

Then, get them to understand that they have gone into and have come out of the pit before and that the pit is a necessary and important part of their growth.

Brett says he works with the Navy Seals, and to be a Navy Seal, you have to be traumatized.

It breaks you down to fertile soil so that you are in a place where you can input into that person what you need for them to grow into becoming who they can become.

We are either inspired to change or forced to change, and some people won’t change unless they are stuck in the pit. When you have people who are in their own way, you sometimes have to knock them down to the bottom to get them to realize how much they need to change. 

We all experience the different stages of competence many times in our lives. The key is knowing where you are and having the mindset to keep growing and keep going.

Greg Carvel: The Journey From Worst to First

If you do things well enough that other people can see it, feel it, and say it back to you, you are doing things the right way. "

• Coach Greg Carvel

In a podcast interview, National Champion Hockey coach, Coach Greg Carvel from the University of Massachusetts talks about how he has built a championship culture through the way he recruits, trains, and leads his athletes. When Coach Carvel was hired as the head coach, they were the worst team in the country, and just 5 years later, they won their first national championship in 91 years.

UMass hockey has created a distinct culture that helped them go from last to first, and it focuses on character over skill. Coach Carvel says, “Culture relies heavily on leadership, and leadership trickles down.

John Maxwell says, “Everything rises and falls on leadership; everything.”

Identity

They created an identity based on 3 words: Fast, hard, and prepared, and he wanted them to play to their identity so well that the opposing coach said their identity in the post-game press conference.

SOMETHING(s) TO THINK ABOUT: If you do things well enough that other people can see it, feel it, and say it back to you, you are doing things the right way. What is your identity, and can people - the people you lead and the people you touch or impact - tell you and others what your identity is?

Leadership trickles down, and if you can get the people you lead to believe in you, they will follow you anywhere. What you do as a leader is important, and it starts with having a clear vision or blueprint that everyone knows and can buy into.

Clarity of Vision

Leaders control the culture, and leaders control the vision. Carvel says the first thing a leader has to do is have a vision.

He says you might have your vision, but you have to be able to articulate and sell it to the people you lead to the point where they fully believe it too. Charity of Vision is when everyone knows and believes in your standards or expectations.

Do the people you lead know your vision, what to do, and what your expectations are?

Then, take care of your people. Fight to bring in good people, and fight harder to keep them.

SOMETHING(s) TO THINK ABOUT: What is your vision, and how will you share it in a way that people will buy in?

Get Good People

Carvel says after you have defined your vision, the next step is to get and fight to keep good people. The people provide the character, and the character builds the culture. He shared a quote that says, "People should be your greatest commodity, your greatest resource in a high-performance environment, people are the center of everything when it comes to high performance."

He says they don't recruit the best hockey players - they recruit the best people they can find. They try to amass character. He uses the phrase: Cumulative character is the backbone of championship teams.

SOMETHING(s) TO THINK ABOUT: What kind of people do you want to add to your team, how will you recruit and retain them, and how will you coach them up so that they know your identity, culture, and values?

Core Values

They have 5 Core Values: Integrity, Commitment, Compete, Connection, and Unity. He says Connection is the most important value because they use connections to build unique relationships, and his goal is to create unique relationships with everyone in the program. He calls it uniquely seen. He shared a quote that said:

"If you feel uniquely seen, understood, valued, and appreciated, then that will hook you into being committed to that team, leader, and program. This is how positive emotion works."

SOMETHING(s) TO THINK ABOUT: What will be the 3-5-10 Core Values that will guide and direct what you do?

Culture

They call their culture a Peak Performance Culture, which is a high-trust, 0 bs culture. They use the book Legacy to teach their culture. They do everything they can to keep bad characters out of their locker room.

They rank character:

1 = You do everything right

2 = Have potential but they haven't fully matured yet

3 = You are always in trouble

They squeeze the twos. When you squeeze them, they either go down to a 3 or up to a 1. When you are a 3, you feel suffocated, but when you squeeze a 1, they want more.

Have a vision, know what you want your culture and identity to be, define your core values, and then get the right people around you.

To listen to the podcast, click here: Walker Podcast

To watch the video, click here: Character and Culture

The Culture Code

Great teams have three things in common:

• Great leadership

• Great people

• A great culture

Culture is the glue that holds everything together. Culture is what we do, how we do it, and why we do it. Anytime I work with a team, one of my biggest goals is to help them become the most connected team they can be by helping them create a stronger, more defined culture.

Daniel Coyle wrote one of the best books on culture that I have ever read titled The Culture Code. He says culture is living relationships moving towards a goal together.

How do you create a championship culture where everyone can thrive?

Daniel Coyle says you have to have three things:

• Direction

• Connection

• Shared information

Direction is defining where we want to go, what we want to do, and how we want to do it. Direction is defining the kind of culture we want to have. The leader defines the direction with the help of the team by learning what everyone wants to get out of working together and combining it with the goals and values of the group.

Connection is bringing people together. When the culture is strong, people grow more connected when facing adversity, and when it’s weak, people pull or tear apart when facing adversity. You build connections by spending time together talking and being around each other, especially in spaces that have nothing to do with work.

Shared information is our ability to coach each other and be coached. It’s our ability to bring our own thoughts, opinions, and experiences to the team to figure out what is best for everyone. The best cultures create a safe environment where people feel confident and empowered to speak up.

Culture is like trust: It is built in drops but lost in buckets. It is also like a fire. It takes time to build and start and you have to put in the work to keep it going. But if it goes out, you can always get it back by doing the work it took to build it in the first place.

Culture is also a team sport, meaning we all control it. Coyle says culture is the 15 feet around you, and you can focus on building the kind of culture you want around you by controlling the signals you send.

Culture is the difference maker that helps teams go from bad to good and from good to great. Have a goal to be the most connected team you can be by having a strong culture and make sure you are doing your part.

Something(s) to Think About

1 - What kind of culture do you want to lead or be a part of?

2 - When are you and your team at your best?

3 - When are you and your team at your worst?

4 -How can you create a culture where you are operating at your best as often as possible?

These notes were taken from his interview with Jay Shetty. The interview can be found here: 3 Crucial Methods to Increase Work Productivity and How to Unlock Individual Success Through Collaboration

How Leaders Design High-Performing Cultures

The video below is one of the best leadership videos I’ve seen. It gives a simple model for how to create and manage a high-performing environment.

Brett Ledbetter is a thinking partner with some of the top coaches and athletes in the world

He said an NBA GM was asked, “What is your role inside the organization?” and his response was, “My job is to build an environment where people can do their best work.”

What is the most important thing you can do as a leader to build an environment where people can do their best work?”

Brett said it comes back to three things: How you define, manage, and model your expectations.

Defining is proactive. Managing is restive, and modeling happens all the time.

Define

Neil Armstrong once said, “If you’re an inch off in landing, no big deal. If you’re an inch off on takeoff, you miss the moon by a million miles.”

What are the expectations that you need to define? The best leaders clearly define what success or appropriate behaviors look like and what it doesn’t look like.

Manage

Once you’ve done that, you have to manage the behaviors by catching and rewarding good ones and catching and converting bad ones. Managing involves teaching, coaching, and giving positive and constructive feedback.

Model

Our actions send signals, and those signals are greater than our words. Once you’ve defined your expectations, you have to model them all the time. Too often, we send mixed signals.

We eliminate mixed signals by being consistent.

Anything we are asking our team, we need to be the model.

What you do is so loud that nobody can hear what you say.

Brett says a tool to use when thinking about how you are modeling behaviors is:

If I want them to ___________, then I need to __________.

As a leader, if I want my people to show up on time and prepared, then I need to, if I want them to do their job with excellence and integrity, then I need to, and if I want them to add value by bringing a positive energy and attitude every day, then I need to.

As a coach, if I want my athletes to have a fighter’s mindset instead of a victim's mindset, then I do. If I want my athletes to stay competitive but keep a level head, then I need to.

As a father, if I want my kids to keep the house and their rooms clean, then I need to.

As a husband, if I want grace, then I need to give grace.

We get what we define, manage, and model.

The Culture Code: Culture is Key

Great teams have three things:

• Great leadership
• Great people
• A great culture

Culture is the glue that holds everything together. Culture is what we do, how we do it, and why we do it. Anytime I work with a team, one of my biggest goals is helping them become the most connected team they can be by helping them create a stronger, more defined culture.

Daniel Coyle wrote one of the best books on culture that I have read titled The Culture Code. He says culture is living relationships moving towards a goal together.

How do you create a championship culture where everyone can thrive?

Daniel Coyle says you have to have three things:

• Direction
• Connection
• Shared information

Direction is defining where we want to go, what we want to do, and how we want to do it. Direction is defining the kind of culture we want to have. The leader defines the direction with the help of the team by learning what everyone wants to get out of working together and combining it with the goals, values, and expectations of the group.

Connection is bringing people together. When the culture is strong, people grow more connected when facing adversity, and when it’s weak, people pull or tear apart when facing adversity. You build connection by spending time together talking and being around each other, especially in spaces that have nothing to do with work.

Shared information comes from a having a culture of feedback where we can coach each other and be coached. It’s our ability to bring our own thoughts, opinions, and experiences to the team to figure out what is best for everyone. The best cultures create a safe environment where people feel confident and empowered to speak up.

Culture is like trust: It is built in drops but lost in buckets. It is also like a fire. It takes time to build and start and you have to put in the work to keep it going. But if it goes out, you can always get it back by doing the work it took to build it in the first place.

Culture is the difference maker that helps teams go from bad to good and from good to great. Have a goal to be the most connected team you can be by having a strong culture.

Something to Think About

1. What kind of culture do you want o lead or be a part of?
2. When are you and your team at your best?
3. When are you and your team at your worst?
4. How can you create a culture where you are operating at your best as often as possible?

To listen to the podcast, click here: 3 Crucial Methods to Increase Work Productivity & How to Unlock Individual Success Through Collaboration

The Ultimate Nick Saban Speech: Vision, Process, and Discipline

Vision, process, and discipline.

Those are the three things Coach Saban said every great leader and team needs to be successful.

Vision, process, and discipline.

Greatness starts with having a great vision for what you want to do and accomplish. The process is what you do to make your dreams a reality and how you do it.

The process is the work.

The most important part is having the discipline to keep showing up and do what you know you need to, no matter how you feel. This is where most people fail. The hard part is staying disciplined and sticking to the process.

Vision, process, discipline.

The hard part is staying disciplined and sticking to the process. Coach Saban says it is not human nature to be great, human nature is just to survive. Being great games consistency and performance, but as soon as we get a little success, we want to breathe and take a break.

Too often we let outside forces distract us or knock us off track:

• It’s too hard
• We get bored
• We don’t feel like it
• We get distracted
• We are afraid of failing
• We can overcome failure
• You have to be relentless if you want to be great.

One of my favorite stories Coach Saban told was about two boxers and the power of being relentless. One of the fighters was a grinder like Rocky - not very talented or skilled but had a lot of heart. The other fighter was talented and skilled but didn’t train as hard and wasn’t as tough. The talented fighter started strong, but because he didn’t train, he couldn’t sustain, and the less talented fighter ended up beating him. After the fight, the less talented fighter said he was getting beaten so badly and hit so hard that if he was hit one more time in his ribs, he was going to quit. But he never got hit again.

If you’re a relentless competitor, you won’t quit. You never know what the other person is thinking. Keep playing the next play, stay with what you need to do to be all you need to be, and be relentless.

How Do We Get People to Do This?

Coach Saban says you have to get to know the people lead and what their goals are, then tie their behaviors to their goals. Leadership and coaching are getting people to do things they don’t want to do so they can achieve the things they want.

Coach Saban says he defines his job as a leader as to provide the leadership and develop the relationship to help people take advantage of their opportunities and help them establish the discipline they need to do it. It’s about helping somebody else or affecting somebody else for their benefit.

And he says it starts with building strong relationships because they have to know you care. It’s hard to affect people if they don’t know you care.

Vision, process, and discipline.

Our jobs as leaders and coaches are to help create a strong enough vision for themselves and the team so they are motivated to act, create a process that will help them be successful, and then hold them accountable to the discipline that it takes to stick to the plan and process.

Watch the video to hear and learn more: The Ultimate Nick Saban Speech