A Coach's Diary

As written by Ruby K. Payne in A Framework for Understanding Poverty, there are hidden rules to the wealthy class, middle class, and poverty class, that we all live by, but very few of us are aware of them.  As educators, it is important for us to be aware of these hidden rules because we have to be able effectively reach and teach ALL students, and we can't do that if we don't know the rules and can't effectively teach them and teach to them.   Schools and businesses are led and run by middle class rules, so schools are virtually the only place where students can learn the choices and rules of the middle class. Generational poverty is defined by having lived in poverty for at least two generations, while situation poverty is defined by a lack of resources because of a particular event (or situation). Managing money is one of the biggest difficulties in getting out of poverty.  Lower, middle and upper class communities look at money differently.  Those livin...

Like any parent, I would love it if my kid could be one of the better players on one of the better teams and, if they want, could go on to have sports pay for their college.   But more importantly, I want my kids play as long as they are having fun and I want to make sure that they are in a great environment that is conducive to them enjoying the game, getting better, learning social skills and learning resilience.  I also want them to grow up to be well rounded adults when this is all over. As a sports parent, I have very clear expectations for my kids when it comes to how the practice, how they treat their teammates, and how they treat their coaches, and how they treat their opponents.  And, we TEACH these expectations and model these expectations for our kids, and when they aren't correctly living up to these expectations, we give clear and honest feedback. Two things that drive good coaches crazy are athletes that don't pay attention to instruction and a...

Sports are full of ups and downs.  Successes and failures.  Every second in a practice or a game is an opportunity to do something good or to make a mistake, and as coaches, it is important to know how to effectively respond to each mistake that our athletes make so that they can respond appropriately, quickly and with confidence in their play.   Our reactions to our player's mistakes are critical, not only for the confidence of the individual player, but also for the outcome of the game. So, encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing. How we respond to each mistake a player makes can either build them up or tear them down.  If we tear our athletes down enough, we might not ever see them regain their confidence in this sport again, and this is often why many players quit playing sports altogether.  The last thing I ever want to do as a coach is the be an athlete's last coach because I took away their love, passion or...

Cal Ripken, Jr., who broke Lou Gehrig’s consecutive-game record, credits his father, Cal Ripken Sr. for the mentoring, coaching, and example to break the record.  Junior remembers that his father had many mottoes and pronouncements.   One of his favorite sayings was: “Do two million things right, and the big things take care of themselves.”   His point was to take pride in the fundamentals. When you prove that you can be trusted with the small things, you will be trusted in the large things as well.

If you have a pre-teen, or a young teen, that has shown above average athletic ability in their sport or multiple sports and above level interest in sports, then it's important to live in the now AND to have a plan and eye on the future. It is reasonable to hope that your youth athlete can earn a college scholarship in a sport that they love and show a talent in, but you have to make sure that the journey to pot of gold at the end of the rainbow is a positive experience or they won't make it to the end.   Studies show that 75% of youth athletes quit playing sports by the time that they are 13, and if you have an above average athlete with an above average interest level, the three main things (outside of height and natural talent/athleticism) that could derail the opportunity to play collegiately are: 1 - Lack of growth and development 2 - Burnout 3 - Bad experiences I think our biggest jobs as parents are to silently, behind the scenes, make sure that the...

Schools and businesses are run by a set of middle class norms, expectations, and hidden rules.  For all kids to have success in the classroom, it is important that they know and can follow these rules, and these hidden rules don’t naturally exist in the homes and lives of many of our students.  We have to be prepared and equipped to teach those hidden rules to our students so that they can be successful in school and in business as they get older. The notes below are from the book, A Framework for Understanding Poverty, by Ruby K. Payne. Poverty of Resources Poverty can be defined by a lack of resources.  These resources are more than just financial and many are more important than financial resources.  When there is a lack in any of the resources below, it will be difficult for students (and adults) to become and be their best self:   What kind of resources?   1 - Financial (money )  2 - Emotional (grit)   ...

As written in A Framework for Understanding Poverty by Ruby K. Payne, Ph.D., to move from poverty to middle class or from middle class to wealthy, an individual must give up relationships for achievement (at least for some period of time). Four reasons that a person leaves poverty are: 1 - It is too painful to stay 2 - A vision or a goal 3 - A key relationship 4 - A special talent or skill To move up a level - from the bench to a starter, or from a starter to all-conference, an athlete must be willing to give up relationships for achievement (at least for some period of time). To help athletes move up a level, we must help them create a vision for themselves and where they can go, we must teach them the knowledge and skills needed to get to there, and we must inspire them, through creating key relationships to work for those goals consistently and with the rigor that growth requires knowing that it will be difficult, and sometimes painful, for t...

The 10/5 Way simply means that if you are within 10 feet of somebdoy, you make eye contact and smile.  If you are within 5 feet of somebody, make eye contact, smile and speak.   I first learned about the 10/5 Way in a podcast featuring Shawn Anchor, author and Harvard Professor of Positive Psycology. Happiness is both contagious and advantageous.  We have 'mirror neurons' that mimic the behaviors, moods and emotions of others.  When we see someone smile - we smile.  When we see somebody yawn - we yawn.  If we see somebdoy living with optimism, or confidence, or joy - we live with optimism, confidence and joy. The Ritz Carlton Hotel turned this science into the original 10/5 Way, and now businesses in many different industries have started implementing this idea in their own ways: A t Wal-Mart, founder Sam Walton coined the ‘Ten-Foot Attitude” and   said , “…I want you to promise that whenever you come within 10 feet of a customer,...

Grit Growth Mindset You Get What You Earn These are the 3 of most important things that you can teach your athlete.  Outside of size, athleticism, and natural talents and tendencies, character is arguably the most important factor in how good somebody will become in sports.   If they have grit, they will persevere through the  good and bad.  If they have a growth mindset, they will understand that there are things that they are good and bad at, and the process is all about getting better, every day.  If they understand that you get what you earn, they will learn that making excuses - about coaches, referees, and their teammates, etc - will do them know good in the long run and that they have to figure out a way over, through and around all of the challenges in their way. But it's our job to TEACH them these things, and to do so continuously, constantly, and consistently so that the it stays with them and becomes a part of who they ar...