A Coach's Diary

Legendary coaches Geno Auriemma and Anson Dorrance talk about two of the most competitive and complete players that they have coached and some of the secret sauce that made them great.  Both athletes could be pushed as hard as they need to be pushed and they both wanted to be told 'there is another level.' Not everybody can be pushed as hard as Diana Taurasi and Michelle Akers; not everybody wants to be 'that' great.  But as coaches and as leaders, it is our job to find that line for each team and each individual and push our athletes past that line.  As Anson Dorrance said in closing, ' Usually if they don't achieve their potential, you were too soft on them.'    There's a big price to be paid if you want to play with the best Playing at Connecticut is nice, but there's a lot more that goes into it than just showing up in Storrs, putting your uniform on, and then running out of the tunnel in front of 16,000 people.  There is a big pric...

Be a GREAT teammate.   Always.   The best teammates are great people.   They are respectful and helpful.   They are kind and loyal.   They are also tough and honest.   The best teammates push you every day.   They don’t take it easy on you.   They go as hard as they can go every time.   They want to beat you.   But when they beat you, the best teammates help you up, and they encourage you.   The best teammates celebrate when you do well and they help you recover when you fall. Remember, you compete in practice, hard, but you are still on the same team.

To my daughter, who plays sports, I love that you play sports.   I love watching you play.   I love watching you practice.   I love when you ask us about different things involving sports including, ‘Who is the best player right now,’ or ‘Why are they passing so much,’ or ‘Who is your favorite player ever,’ among many other questions.   I love seeing how you interact with your teammates.   I love seeing your confidence on the court and field, and I really love seeing you carry that confidence away from the game and into school and everyday life.   I love how competitive you are.   I love when you cry when you lose because it shows that you care.   I love how hard that you go at everything that you do, and I love that the work you put in to get better for sports has taught you that if you want to be good at anything, you have to be willing to put in the work. I love that I get to share my passion for sports with you.   My parents lov...

Does she listen? Does he do what you are asking you to do? Is she respectful? Is he a good teammate? Does she work hard for you? What does he need to do to get better? During the season, these are the only questions that I ask my kids' coaches.  I can see everything else, but I try to stay out of the way and let their coaches coach, and I let my kids play.   I watch to see if my kids are having fun.  I watch to see if they are growing and developing, and I can tell if they are getting better in comparison to his/her peers, and I can tell if the team as a group is growing and getting better in comparison to other teams.  I care more about my kid's character and work ethic than anything because if they have the right foundation, I know that they will continue to get better.  But without the right foundation and without enjoying what they do, they will hit a plateau and won't be able to overcome adversity when it hi...

Everybody is good - until they mess up.  When you mess up, when you miss, when you turn it over, when you lose - that is when we find out how good you really are.  Being good isn't about 'not' messing up.  Being good is about doing your best, bouncing back and learning from failure, then doing your best again.

Every coach has his or her favorites.  And those favorites are not always the biggest, strongest, fastest player on the team that scores the most goals, or gets all of the touchdowns or makes the most 3's.   Coaches love players who are fun to coach.  Coaches love players who love playing and who bring energy and enthusiasm every day.  Coaches love players who want to come to practice, players who want to learn, and players who want to get better. Coaches love players who they can COACH.  Of course, coaches want to win.  But coaches also want to share their love, knowledge and passion for the game, and they want you to grow and learn so that you can become the best player that you can be.  To do that, players must want feedback and constructive criticism so that they know what they are doing well and what they need to work on to get better. Coaches love players who show up on time, who are prepared, and who give eye contact.  W...

10% of your happiness comes from the external world.   90% of your long term happiness comes from the way your brain processes the outside world.  When we change our perception of the world and start to look at the world in a more positive light, we will be happier. 25% of job success is predicted by IQ.   75% depends on your optimism levels, your social support, and your ability to stress as a challenge instead of a threat.  So, being a happier, more optimistic person can triple your job performance. As a society, we need to reverse the formula for happiness and success.   Most use the formula – ‘If I work harder, then I will be more successful.  If I am more successful, then I will be happier.’  The problem is that every time you experience success, you just change the goal post of what success looks and feels like.  ‘You got good grades, now you have to get better grades.  You got into one school, now you have to get i...