A Coach's Diary

One of the pillars of Kobe Bryant's Mamba Mentality is OBSESSIVENESS. Kobe was known for his obsessive work ethic. Kobe once gave an ESPY award speech where he talked about how his obsessiveness and 4 A.M. workouts led to his success: “We’re not on this stage just because of talent or ability,” Bryant said.  “We’re up here  because of 4 a.m . We’re up here because of two-a-days or five-a-days.  We’re up here because we had a dream and let nothing stand in our way. If anything tried to bring us down, we used it to make us stronger.” Here is how Kobe defined being obsessive: "Whatever you are doing at that moment is what you are doing at that moment. Obsessiveness is having attention to detail for the action that you are performing at the time you are performing it, and if you can have that kind of focus, you can't help but to have a certain level of obsession." When he was asked how he developed his level of obsessiveness and where he learned it, Kobe said: "Being...

Middle school can be some of the best years and some of the toughest years for young athletes. So many changes happen in middle school, and you have to know who you are and who you want to be so that you are ready to deal with those changes in a productive way. In my first year coaching middle school sports, all of the coaches who were there before me kept telling me about this kid named ‘Madi.’ Madi was now in high school, but they told me about how Madi’s presence completely changed the school. Madi was a star athlete, but her genuine 'goodness' on and off the court is what transformed the school. They said that Madi was such a good, nice, and humble person that others started being the same way. It wasn’t always easy for Madi. Madi didn’t curse, she didn’t talk back, and she was a peacemaker and not a fighter. At first, people would tease Madi and try to get her to do things she didn’t want to do, but Madi would just smile and handle herself gracefully and continued to be wh...

Kobe Bryant was known for his Mamba Mentality. The Mamba Mentality means, "Trying to be the best version of yourself." It means, "Every day, you are trying to become better." One of the pillars of Mamba Mentality is passion. Passion is love in action. It was no secret that Kobe looked up to Michael Jordan. Here is what Jordan said about passion: "The greatest thing about the game of basketball, to me, is the passion; the love that I have for it. Because when you have love for anything, you'll go to the extreme to maintain that love. That's what love does; love drives you to do everything you need to do to maintain that connection. If I didn't have that love for the game of basketball, all of the things that have panned out in my career would have never been achievable. It was truly my love for the game that kept me pushing to be the best basketball player that I can be. To be the best, at anything, you gotta have a certain love for that to overcome ...

Sports are great and fun, but they can also be stressful. The months of June and July in basketball are hard months. They are full of AAU tournaments and camps, and as I am coming to the end of my summer basketball schedule, I could use some rest. My two main goals for all of my athletes are for them to grow into becoming the best version of themselves while enjoying the process, but becoming the best version of yourself is a tiring grind. You have to push yourself out of your comfort zone and beyond your limits, and you have to make good choices at all times, like what you are going to eat, how you spend your time, and finding the right teams, the right coaches, and the right camps and tournaments. Luckily, I have a God that tells me that I can come to Him when I am weary, tired, and carry heavy burdens. In Matthew 11, just after Jesus gave his famous Sermon on the Mount and after he gave the disciples his final instructions before sending them out to teach and heal in the cities, Jes...

When I was an younger athlete, one of my biggest flaws was that I would get frustrated easily, and when I got frustrated, it showed on my face and through my body language. I had to learn how to manage frustration appropriately, and that meant I had to learn to how change my relationship with frustration. You can learn to see frustration as your enemy or your friend. Frustration is like the “check engine” light in your car. Nobody wants to see it come on, but it lets you know that something isn’t right. Frustration can be the result of your inability to do something, failed expectations, or many other things. In his book Relational Intelligence, Dharius Daniels writes that our emotions are messengers; they vocalize the inner workings in our souls. They are our body and soul’s way of alerting us and telling that there is something we need to pay attention to. When you feel frustrated, Daniels says to ask yourself: Why? What am I expecting that isn’t being met? Do I feel drained? What am...

I’m at the Nike Nationals girls basketball tournament. It is the biggest tournament of the year for high school girls basketball. The best of the best players and college coaches are competing for scholarship opportunities and rankings. Do you want to know the statement I hear the most? “They have to want it more than I do.” I hear that from both coaches and parents. They are frustrated that they seem to want more for their athletes than their athletes want for themselves. And they are right. Former NFL player and ESPN analyst David Pollack said, “There is only one person in the end who will determine if your kid will be great, and that is your kid - not you. Only your kid can decide if they will be great.” So, what can we do? Kobe Bryant said: “We have to try to put them in different things and expose them to as many things as possible, and then see if there is one thing that connects with them. Because if it does, you don’t have to tell them to do it. If they have that passion, they’...

My best friend in high school would always stop at the gas station before school and get a small bag of chips. Then he would open the bag of chips, and before he took his first bite, he would pass the bag around for anyone who would want a bite. Doing this in a car full of high school basketball players with high school appetites was a dangerous task, but he was one of the best teammates ever because he gave so freely. Every team needs teammates who are willing to give freely, and giving doesn’t have to be tangible things. We all have our gifts and talents to bring to our team. Some of those gifts, like being bigger, stronger, or faster are easy to see and measure. Other gifts aren’t visible or easily measured, like being a natural leader, being a great encourager, or having a lot of energy and enthusiasm. James 1:17 tells us that whatever we have that is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father. One of the keys to being a great teammate is knowing what your gif...

It’s hard trying to find the balance between pushing your kids and keeping sports fun. When you take the joy out of youth sports, it becomes a job and you run the risk of your kids not wanting to do it anymore. Jon Gordon and David Pollack had a great discussion about how to maintain that balance on Gordon’s Positive U podcast. Here are my notes: Don’t Make It Too Serious Too Early Don’t professionalize sports for kids, and don’t over-prioritize sports too early. There is plenty of time to get serious.  Don’t make it too serious too early or you run the risk of burning them out. Keep it fun and keep it healthy because the journey is a marathon and not a sprint. Character >>> Results Don’t worry too much about outcomes; worry more about who they are becoming as a result of the chase. The purpose of sports is to make you a better human being. Focus on that. At some point, we will all be retired athletes; who will you be when you are finished playing? Keep it Fun and Healthy ...

As my oldest daughter begins to transition out of youth sports and into the world of school sports, I realize that one of the special things about sports, especially youth sports, are that they help us set a foundation for who we want to be and how we are going to live our lives. Sports help us create and establish meaningful and appropriate boundaries in our lives. Boundaries define us. They define who are and who we are not. Boundaries help keep the good in and the bad out. Setting boundaries is taking personal responsibility for your choices. You are the one who makes decisions in your life, so you are the one who must live with the consequences of your choices. Boundaries are guidelines. They are your way of telling yourself and others what you will tolerate and what you will allow for yourself. Your boundaries have nothing to do with someone else’s boundaries. They are your and yours alone. No one can put up or breakdown your boundaries unless you let them. Sports is a great way t...

Sports have a magical way of bringing people together. Very few things bring people together like sports. They are a way for people to unite over a common cause or goal, and they allow you to set differences aside and battle together with your teammates or cheer alongside fans of the same team. Some of my best friendships began on the basketball court where teammates become friends, and friends become brothers or sisters. There is nothing like joining a team full of strangers and leaving family. But every team won’t feel like family, you won’t love all your teammates, and all your teammates won’t love you back. Sports teach you how to manage conflict and how to work with people you get along with and teammates you don’t get along with. The story of Jesus teaches us many things. The story of Jesus sending his disciples into cities and villages to teach and heal people teaches us how to handle the relationships we will encounter in life, and what to do if the people we meet don’t receive...

Kobe Bryant was asked what Mamba Mentality was. He said: The Mamba Mentality simply means trying to be the best version of yourself. It means every day, you are trying to become better. It is a constant, infinite quest. Always ask questions, and try to get better every single day. Be very observant and constantly look for things to learn from. Life is all about choices. You always have a choice: become the best version of yourself, or don’t. Every choice that you make either helps you come closer to becoming the best version of yourself, or it pushes you further from becoming the best version of yourself. Kobe said, “Ask good questions, ask a lot of questions, and be observant.” Life is a learning contest. Find ways to learn, grow, and improve so that can live out the Mamba Mentality and become the best version of yourself.

Before 1954, most people in the world believed that running a 4-minute mile was impossible. The best athletes and coaches around the world had been chasing this feat for over 50 years, but no one was able to crack the code until Roger Bannister was able to bust through the four-minute barrier with a time of three minutes, fifty-nine and four-tenths of a second. Then only 46 days after Bannister ran his 4-minute mile, Australian runner John Landry ran the mile in a time of 3 minutes 58 seconds. Just one year later, 3 more runners run the mile in under 4 minutes - in the same race. Over the next 100 years, over 1,000 runners have broken the 4-minute mile barrier that was previously thought to be impossible. All it took was one person having the right mindset. That one person with the right mindset changed his sport, forever. Bannister’s work ethic and belief in himself unlocked a level of performance in 1,000s of others. An interesting part of the story is understanding the conditions in...