Youth Sports Dads

It’s hard trying to find the balance between pushing your kids and keeping sports fun.

When you take the joy out of youth sports, it becomes a job and you run the risk of your kids not wanting to do it anymore.

Jon Gordon and David Pollack had a great discussion about how to maintain that balance on Gordon’s Positive U podcast.

Here are my notes:

Don’t Make It Too Serious Too Early

Don’t professionalize sports for kids, and don’t over-prioritize sports too early.

There is plenty of time to get serious. 

Don’t make it too serious too early or you run the risk of burning them out. Keep it fun and keep it healthy because the journey is a marathon and not a sprint.

Character >>> Results

Don’t worry too much about outcomes; worry more about who they are becoming as a result of the chase.

The purpose of sports is to make you a better human being. Focus on that. At some point, we will all be retired athletes; who will you be when you are finished playing?

Keep it Fun and Healthy

Make it fun, bring the joy, and bring the love. Keep it healthy and be an encourager. Keep the environment and experience healthy and positive.

Teach them to love it, and they’ll be more likely to do the work it takes to be successful. If they don’t love it and if it’s not fun, they won’t want to work as hard as they need to be successful.

The Kid Decides If They Will Be Great

There is only one person in the end who will determine if your kid will be great, and that is your kid - not you.

You can’t force anyone to be great, and you can’t force someone to have the will to do something - but you can take it away by taking the fun and joy out of it.

The kid has to decide if they want to be great.

Family Goals

Create family goals so that everyone is on the same page:

- Spiritual
- Academic
- Athletic
- Whatever else they want

Create Positivity Not Negativity

How you talk to your kids is a big part of how they will see themselves, their teammates, and coaches.

Speak positivity and not negativity into your kids.

Don’t create negativity; create positivity. What you say to your kids and what you pour into them will come out of them.

And if you don’t know what to say, then don’t say anything.

Person > Player

Don’t allow their identity to come from their performance. When your identity is tied to your performance, if your performance is great, you’re great, and when your performance stinks, you stink.

Instead, tie their identity to the unconditional love you have for them and who they are as a person, not a player.

What Do You Say After Games?

If all you do is talk about how they played and what they did, you are communicating that their identity is tied to their performance.

Instead of talking to your kids about how they played, say these 3 things after the game:

1 - Did you have fun?
2 - Did you try your hardest?
3 - I love watching you play, and I love you no matter what happens.

Clarify the Why

When we were told to dig a hole, we said, “Yes sir.” Today’s kids ask questions when told to dig the hole. 

They ask, ‘Why?’ They ask, ‘How deep does it need to be?’ They ask, ‘Why do I have to be the one to build it?’

We can complain about this, or we can learn to clarify the why.

Make them Better

Our goal, every single season, is to make kids better. No matter where they start, they will get better with us. They will get tougher, smarter and better.

There are too many resources out there for you not to be able to make your athletes better.

Set Boundaries

Set this boundary with your kid: I’m not your coach, so I’m not going to talk to you about it. If you want to talk about it, all you have to do is ask.

Control What You Can Control

All you control is your attitude and effort. You can practice hard every day and still have bad games, but don’t let anything kill your attitude or your effort.