WEEK 50 | ABOVE THE LINE

One of the hardest parts about being a leader is having to set a line of expectations and then actively live above that line.

It’s easy to say, “Work hard, show up early, stay late, compete in every drill, every day, and don’t take any shortcuts,” but nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes.

I’ve heard many coaches say, “Do as I say, not as I do.” We know what we need to do, but we don’t always do it.

Jesus knew this too, and He addressed this when He was talking to His disciples and the crowds of people about the teachers of religious law at the time to His disciples and crowds of people in Matthew 23.

Jesus said, “So practice and obey whatever they tell you, but don’t follow their example. For they don’t practice what they teach. They crush people with unbearable religious demands and never lift a finger to ease the burden. Everything they do is for show. On their arms, they wear extra wide prayer boxes with Scripture verses inside, and they wear robes with extra long tassels.” (Matthew‬ ‭23‬:‭3‬-‭5‬)

Don’t be that person; don’t be that type of teammate, leader, or coach. Be who you say you are and do as you say you will do. But also be able to listen to people’s words and find wisdom without judging their actions.

Jesus continues by saying, “What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs—beautiful on the outside but filled on the inside with dead people’s bones and all sorts of impurity. Outwardly you look like righteous people, but inwardly your hearts are filled with hypocrisy and lawlessness.” ‭‭(Matthew‬ ‭23‬:‭27‬-‭28‬)

We often know what we should do, but we don’t always do it. Work on being the same on the outside that you are on the inside. Be a person who does what they say and whose actions match their words.

THIS WEEK

1 - Listen for good words of wisdom, and try to apply them to your life. Try to listen for wisdom in what people say without judging their actions.

For a Google doc version of this devo, click here: Above the Line

WEEK 49 | LISTEN AND RESPOND

I am in the middle of watching the second season of Last Chance U, and ELAC coach John Mosley is frustrated with his team. He has a few high-level transfers in his starting lineup, including a 7 foot 1 inch center from LSU, but Coach Mosley is struggling to get his starters to buy into the hardworking, blue-collar culture that has brought his program success in the past

Instead of continuing to start his more high-profile athletes, Coach Mosley has chosen to turn to his tougher, harder-working bench athletes whom he can trust to do what he demands, make the adjustments he needs them to make, and do what he is teaching. His assistant coach said, “There are only 5 guys and 40 minutes, and the dudes that are playing are doing what they are supposed to do.”

There are consequences when we do not do what we are supposed to do or are asked to do, and there are rewards when we do.

Parable of the Great Feast

In Matthew 22, Jesus the priests and elders, the Parable of the Great Feast, a story about how a group of people was overlooked because they didn’t do what they were asked to do.

Starting in verse 2, Jesus tells the story of a king who prepared a wedding banquet for his son. The king invited many people, but they weren’t willing to come (verse 3). When the king sent out other servants to invite the people, some made light of the invited and continued doing what they were doing, and some seized and even killed the servants (verses 4-6).

The king was enraged, and he sent his army to avenge the death of his servants. He then sent invitations to anyone his servants could find, and they filled the wedding hall with guests (verses 7-10).

But during the feast, the king saw a man who did not have the proper wedding clothes. When the king asked the man why he came without a wedding garment, the man was speechless and the king had his servants bind his hands and feet and take him away and cast him into outer darkness where there will be weeping and gnashing of the teeth (verses 11-13).

Jesus then said, “For many are called, but few are chosen.”

Everybody has choices in life, and the choices we make define us. We have all been given the message of Jesus. The king in this story is God the Father, and the son who is being honored is Jesus. Israel was invited to the kingdom, but they refused to believe it and they refused to follow Jesus. Many prophets (the king’s servants) before Jesus, like John the Baptist, had been killed, and there is a punishment for that.

God instructs us to share the gospel, the story of Jesus, to anyone who will listen, and because we don’t know who will listen and respond and who won’t, oftentimes, unlikely candidates will come to faith.

Later in Matthew 22, a Pharisee asks Jesus, “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?”

Jesus said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: You should love your neighbor as yourself.”

Listen to the people who are leading you. Listen to your coaches, your parents, and your leaders. Listen and respond. When you show up for practices and games, don’t be like the guest who showed up without the proper wedding attire. Show up dressed and prepared to perform.

Most importantly, listen to God and follow Jesus. That is where life begins and ends.

THIS WEEK

1 - What is one takeaway that you have from The Parable of the Wedding Feast?

2 - What is something that your coaches are trying to get you to do that you need to listen to or respond better to?

3 - What is something that is holding you back?

4 - What can you do to overcome that barrier that is holding you back?

For a Google doc version of this Devo, click here: Listen and Respond

WEEK 48 | Do What You Say Your Are Going to Do

I was talking to a coach who had an athlete who was struggling with playing time. She wasn’t doing everything she needed to do to earn the playing time, but worse, she wasn’t being truthful with her parents. She was telling her parents that the coach was playing favorites and she wasn’t one of them, and the parents were giving the coach a hard time because of it.

The advice that I gave the coach was to make sure that he was giving clear and effective feedback to the girl and her parents that explained why she wasn’t playing, and how she could earn more playing time. Author and speaker Ashley Merryman says effective feedback does three things:

1 - Makes people think differently  2 - Helps people take ownership of the problem  3 - Helps apply new thinking and new behaviors

I told him that Merryman has an acronym called T.R.A.C.K.E.D. that gives a guideline for how to give effective feedback that accomplishes those three things:

T - Trustworthy - Can they trust you?  R - Relevant - Will this help them?  A - Accurate - Is this really what happened?  C - Clear - Are you clear and easy to understand?  K - Kind - Are you kind and helpful?  E - Examples - Do you have examples?  D - Dialogue - Can they communicate what you are asking them to do?

We decided to communicate to the athlete three things that she wasn’t doing and to give clear examples. We then gave her three relevant things she could do to earn more playing time, with clear examples. Most importantly, we did it in a kind way that wasn’t meant to embarrass her but to bring her in and feel like we cared about her and her success.

Finally, we asked the athlete and her parents if they understood and were on board so that they too could take ownership of the situation. 

Sometimes this process works, and in this case, it didn’t. The athlete did not follow through with what she said she would, and it was a long season for her, her parents, and the coach.

Sometimes we do everything we can, and it still doesn’t work out in the end. This story reminds me of The Parable of the Two Sons in the book of Matthew in the Bible.

In Matthew 21, Jesus and His disciples come to Jerusalem. When Jesus rode into town on a donkey, the crowd stirred and celebrated His arrival. Jesus then went to the temple and famously turned over the tables and benches saying, “My house will be called a house of prayer,’ but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.’” (Matthew 21:13).

The next morning, Jesus again went to the Temple. After being questioned by the chief priests and the elders, Jesus told them the parable of the two sons:

There was a man who had two sons. He went to the first and said, ‘Son, go and work today in the vineyard.’

“‘I will not,’ he answered, but later he changed his mind and went.

“Then the father went to the other son and said the same thing. He answered, ‘I will, sir,’ but he did not go.

“Which of the two did what his father wanted?”

“The first,” they answered.

Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you. For John came to you to show you the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes did. And even after you saw this, you did not repent and believe him.

Like the second son, our athlete said she was going to do something but didn’t. All coaches want to coach athletes who will do their job and do what they say they are going to do.

And parents and athletes want the same thing. They want coaches who will be true to their word and who will also do what they say they will do. When we don’t, we lose trust and we lose credibility, and we lose it quickly. Trust is gained in drops and lost in buckets.

What I liked about including the first son in this story is that at first, he did not have the right mindset. He told his father no. But he then changed his mind. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “The time is always right to do what’s right.” No matter what we have done or said in the past, we can always change and make the next, right choice.

If you want to gain the trust of those around you, do what you say you will do, and do it well.

THIS WEEK

1 - Figure out 1-3 things that you need to do to accomplish a goal you have. Write them down.

2 - Decide to do what you say you will do. Commit to keeping your word to the three you wrote down, and commit to keeping your word to whoever you speak to.

For a Google doc version of this devo, click here: Do As You Say You Will Do