A Coach's Diary

"Never let defeat define you; let your comeback do the talking.” - Kim Yeon-Kuong How well do you bounce back from losses? I struggle with losing. When I was a kid, I would cry after losing, and even as an adult, I sometimes cry when I lose. I HATE losing. When my hate for losing became a fear of losing, it became a problem because I would either cheat to win or I would avoid tough competition because I was afraid to lose. When that happened, I stunted my growth because losing is a part of the process. Kim Yeon‑koung is a legendary South Korean volleyball outside hitter and former captain of the national team. The 2012 London Olympics MVP is a trailblazing influencer: she’s the first volleyball player to surpass 1 million subscribers on YouTube, runs a youth sports academy, and has been an ambassador for major brands. Kim once said, “Never let defeat define you; let your comeback do the talking.” Setbacks, losses, or failures shouldn't shape your identity or story. Instead of ...

“Those callouses,  those bumps, those bruises—they’re all necessary for you to be who you’re supposed to be. You have to embrace them.” - Jalen Hurts If you started all season but got benched in the second half of the championship game, how would you feel, and how would you react? This happened to quarterback Jalen Hurts in college. Over two seasons, Hurts led Alabama to a 26-2 record and broke the Crimson Tide’s single-season passing record in his sophomore year, but after a terrible first half against Georgia in the national championship game, he was benched for backup freshman Tua Tagovailoa, who led them to a comeback win. This could have broken Hurts, but instead, he eventually transferred to Oklahoma, led them to a 12-1 record, finished the year as a Heisman Trophy runner-up, and became a Super Bowl-winning quarterback. When talking about having to overcome challenges and obstacles, Hurst says, “Those callouses,  those bumps, those bruises—they’re all necessary for you t...

The best athletes and most successful people have a plan that starts when they wake up. I asked ChatGPT for a game day routine, and here is what it gave me: 1. Start the Day Right Hydrate early: Drink water as soon as you wake up — dehydration can negatively impact focus, energy, reaction time, and muscle function. Eat smart: Balanced meals — protein, carbs, fruits/veggies. You want your body to have the fuel it needs when it needs it the most. Visualize success: Spend 2–3 minutes seeing yourself making good plays and playing with energy. I like to watch film of myself and highlights from people I admire. Get some touches or shots in: You don’t want your first time touching the ball to be in warm-ups. 2. Stay Locked In at School (or throughout the day — wherever you are) Avoid junk food and bad drinks. Use quiet moments (lunch, passing periods) to take a few deep breaths and remind yourself: “I’m ready. I’ve worked for this.” Keep energy calm, not hyper or distracted. 3. Pre-Game Rout...

You can make your dreams come true by doing three things: Have a goal, make a plan, stick to the plan. Nick Saban is one of the best college football coaches of all time. I heard him speak once, and he said the key to success and winning championships come down to those three things: goals, plans, and discipline. He said you first have to have a vision or a goal: What do you want to do? Write it down on paper or in your phone. Second, you have to create a plan: What are 3-5 things you need to do to make this happen? Write those down on paper or in your phone. He said the third part is the hardest: Do you have the discipline to stick to the plan? Coach Saban said discipline is where most people fail. Most people won’t take the time to write down their goals or they won’t take the time to think out and write out a plan. Even if they do that, most people will quit on their plan because of a lack of discipline: “ It’s too hard,” “I’m too tired,” and “I don’t feel like it ,” ar...

“Serenity in sport is everything. Otherwise, it's a paradox. The body must always be trained at 100%, but if the head is not serene, you can do the best training, but it will never pay off.” - Frederica Pellegrini How are you in pressure games or moments? Are you the calm in the storm, or are you a part of the chaos? I recently talked to my daughters about the importance of calming your mind in the middle of the storm. When you are calm and centered, you can create space for you to do your best work. A simple way to do this is by doing Box Breathing: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, and hold it again for 4 seconds. Repeat 4 times, and you can calm your mind. Federica Pellegrini is a legendary Italian swimmer—often called “La Divina”—widely regarded as one of the greatest freestyle athletes of all time. She once said, "Serenity in sport is everything. Otherwise, it's a paradox. The body must always be trained at 100%, but if th...

“Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life.” - Lorena Ochoa Do you know the difference between success and perfection? Success is about progress, growth, and learning. It means setting goals, doing your best, and adapting when things don’t go as planned. Success often involves failing along the way—but learning and improving each time. Perfection, on the other hand, is about flawlessness. It demands no mistakes, no missteps, no mess—and that’s impossible to maintain. The pursuit of perfection can lead to fear, anxiety, and procrastination because it creates a false belief that you’re only valuable when everything is done perfectly. Success is moving forward. Perfection is getting stuck. Lorena Ochoa is a legendary Mexican golfer—widely regarded as one of the greatest women in the sport’s history. She once said, “Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your ...

  “No I or individual is better than the team. I've scored no goals just on my own. Every goal I've ever scored has been because of someone else on my team, their excellence, their bravery. And I'm kind of the end product of a collection of a really good vibe, and feeling, and creativity on the field.” - Abby Wambach I heard a group of former athletes talking about the importance of having great teammates. They were talking about how both Michael Jordan and Shaquille O’Neal were dominating the NBA but didn’t win a championship until the Bulls drafted (traded for) for Scottie Pippen and the Lakers traded for Kobe Bryant. Once they got championship teammates, they started winning championships. The same happened with Kobe. When Shaq left the Lakers for Miami, he didn’t win another championship until the Lakers got Pau Gasol. Championship teams have championship teammates. Soccer star Abby Wambach was one of the best goal scorers in the history of American soccer. She once sai...

“If you work hard, keep your head down, try to do the right things, and try to have the right intentions, anything can happen for you.” - Shai Gilgeous-Alexander Have you ever been cut from a team or been told you weren’t good enough? Shai Gilgeous-Alexander is one of the few NBA guards who have won a regular season MVP, NBA championship, and finals MVP in the same season, but did you know that he was cut from the JV team as a freshman in high school? When he was a freshman at St. Thomas More Catholic Secondary, he didn’t make the junior varsity team and was sent to play on the 9th grade team instead, something that’s unusual for a future NBA star. Instead of pouting and quitting, that setback fueled his drive. Shai said after he got cut, he tested his mom, “I’m going to make them regret cutting me.” Shai went on to become one of the top high school recruits in the country, and he played at the University of Kentucky before being the 11th pick in the 2018 draft. Shai has said, “I...

“I think a winner has to be a master of preparation, they have to be a master of connection, extremely competitive, and have really high standards for themselves.” - Maya Moore Are you a winner? Tonight, I watched my 10-year old’s soccer practice. They did the usual warmups, dribble drills, and rondos. But then, I saw kids running, and being a coach myself, I knew why: They were running because they lost. I learned they were counting successful passes while doing rondos, and the team that had the most successful passes won while the losers ran. So I watched to see how many times my kid had to run. She didn’t have to run the most on the team, but she did have to run. Then, I watched how she moved throughout the drill. When she was able to make a good pass, it started with her ability to receive the ball effectively, and that started with her ability to get prepared earlier. I then, I realized her ability to be prepared in practice starts with the work she does outside of it. Maya Moore ...

“Confidence is the most important single factor in this game, and no matter how great your natural talent, there is only one way to obtain and sustain it: work.” - Jack Nicklaus How confident are you? When are you most confident? When do you feel least confident? Confidence is the belief that you can handle what’s in front of you—because you’ve prepared, you’ve learned, and you’re willing to grow through whatever comes next. It doesn’t mean you think you’ll be perfect; it means you trust yourself to show up, keep going, and figure it out. Confidence comes from consistent action—doing the work, learning from mistakes, and showing up again. Jack Nicklaus is one of the greatest golfers of all time. Known as "The Golden Bear," he won a record 18 major championships, more than any other player in golf history. He once said, “Confidence is the most important single factor in this game, and no matter how great your natural talent, there is only one way to obtain and sustain it: work...

“Confidence is the most important single factor in this game, and no matter how great your natural talent, there is only one way to obtain and sustain it: work.” - Jack Nicklaus How confident are you? When are you most confident? When do you feel least confident? Confidence is the belief that you can handle what’s in front of you—because you’ve prepared, you’ve learned, and you’re willing to grow through whatever comes next. It doesn’t mean you think you’ll be perfect; it means you trust yourself to show up, keep going, and figure it out. Confidence comes from consistent action—doing the work, learning from mistakes, and showing up again. Jack Nicklaus is one of the greatest golfers of all time. Known as "The Golden Bear," he won a record 18 major championships, more than any other player in golf history. He once said, “Confidence is the most important single factor in this game, and no matter how great your natural talent, there is only one way to obtain and sustain it: work...