A Coach's Diary

The most valuable lesson I learned this week is that one of the keys to being a better communicator is to speak slower, less, and with more confidence. In the video above, Codie Sanchez talks about how we can be a better speaker or communicator. She says there are 7 speaking patterns that quietly sabotage us. Trap 1: Excessive Hedging You are graded on your competency and confidence. Excessive qualifiers — too much talk and qualifiers — limits your credibility. Say less and say it more confidently. If you’re going to hedge, be smart and strategic about it. Trap 2: Over Explaining Smart people love clarity, and they hate being misunderstood, so they talk too much trying to avoid both. Keep it short and simple. Easy. Meaningful. Compelling. Deliver the correct idea precisely and pause and let the silence do the work. Shorter sentences. Concrete nouns. No jargon. White space. Speak slower. Remove filler words. Trap 3: Talking Too Fast When we get anxious, our heart rate rises and our brea...

The most valuable lesson I learned this week is that we should take a breath — or 3 — between meetings. In an interview with Emma Grede, podcaster and author Jay Shetty said everyone should take a breath between meetings or before a meeting so we don’t carry the baggage from the last meeting into the next one. Most of us walk into a new meeting carrying with us what happened in the last one — especially if something bad happened — and we don’t give ourselves a second to decompress or regroup before we throw ourselves back into the storm. Pause and calm your energy by taking a few breaths between high impact meetings so you can be fully present. He then named 5 habits high performers practice: 1 - Thankfulness — If you aren’t thankful for where you are at, you will never be — no matter how much you achieve. Be thankful. 2 - Insight — Learn one new thing — or one new insight — every day. 3 - Mindfulness or Meditation — Schedule meetings or check-ins with yourself at the beginning, mid...

Rainer Martens, the father of modern coaching education, famously challenged the "win-at-all-costs" mentality with a simple, disruptive motto: "Athletes First, Winning Second." What made him a legend was that while many focus on "winning at all costs," Martens revolutionized the field by arguing that the best way to win is actually to put the athlete’s development first. Martens argued that when winning is the only objective, performance actually suffers. Why? Because the fear of losing creates paralyzing anxiety. However, when the focus shifts to the development of the athlete — physically, psychologically, and socially — the scoreboard often takes care of itself. To Martens, a "winning mindset" is about three core psychological skills: Realistic Self-Confidence: Martens defined this not as "hope," but as a realistic expectation of success based on preparation. Energy Management: You can’t reach peak performance if your energy is to...

The most valuable lesson I’ve learned this week is how being a better communicator can lead to a better life. In a video on YouTube titled: “Leveling Up Your Life = Leveling Up Your Communication,” Myron Golden says, “If you learn to talk better, you will do better. In fact, the fastest, best, and most thorough way to level up your life is to level up your ability to communicate. The quality of your life is always going to be in direct correlation to the quality of your communication.” Golden says there are two types of communication: Internal Communication: What we say to ourselves External Communication: What we say to others. Internal communication is made up of our beliefs — the stories we tell ourselves about our expected outcomes. Most people tell themselves unfavorable stories and wonder why they get undesirable outcomes. If you get better at communicating with yourself and telling yourself better stories, every part of your life will get better. Positive thinking doesn’t nece...

Anson Dorrance is a retired American soccer coach widely regarded as one of the most successful coaches in the history of athletics. He spent 47 years at the University of North Carolina (UNC), where he built an unparalleled dynasty in women's college soccer. In an interview on The Great Coaches” Leadership & Life podcast, Coach Dorrance said when he first started coaching, he identified 5 great coaches and selected the most prominent quality from each to add to his own coaching philosophy. In the interview, he said he learned how to exude class from Lynchburg College coach Bill Shellenberger, he studied the presence of European coach Bobby Gansler, and he wanted to have the humility of UNC men’s basketball coach Dean Smith. He wanted to be the best coach he could be, so he studied the best in different areas. Then, Coach Dorrance talked about how he was watching a political news show where the hostess was asked what she was an expert in. When the hostess replied, “Reading com...

Karl Weick is an organizational psychologist best known for one powerful idea: sensemaking — how people make meaning when things are unclear, chaotic, or changing.  Weick argued that leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about helping people understand what’s happening and what to do next, especially when the path isn’t obvious. Weick showed that teams form culture by how they talk about what’s happening. When leaders name situations clearly — “Here’s what we know, here’s what we don’t, here’s what we’re trying next” — they create a culture of clarity, trust, and learning. When leaders avoid tough conversations or pretend certainty where there’s not, teams fill the gaps with fear, assumptions, or blame. Culture follows the stories people tell themselves, and leaders help drive culture and performance by improving the stories being told about what is happening and helping people make sense of it all so they can move forward together.

Often called the “Father of North American Applied Sport Psychology,” Bruce Ogilvie revolutionized how coaches understood athletes. Before him, competitors were viewed as machines built for performance. Ogilvie argued that personality, self-concept, and mental health were just as vital as physical ability. In the 1960s, he helped create The Athletic Motivation Inventory (AMI) —one of the first tools to measure traits like drive, aggression, coachability, and emotional stability. His research showed that elite performance is primarily mental. A truly “tough” athlete, he said, wasn’t one who suppressed emotion but one who understood and directed it. Ogilvie suggested that every athlete has a “psychological ceiling” that limits performance, and it’s the coach’s role to identify and manage the traits holding that ceiling in place. He proved that high-level sports are 90% mental , and that a "tough" athlete isn't someone who suppresses emotion, but someone who understands and ...