Sharon Sloane of Will Interactive: See Yourself as Others See You

This article is an excerpt of an interview with Sharon Sloane, C.E.O. of Will Interactive, was conducted and condensed by Adam Bryant.

In the interview, she talks about the importance of:

-  Understanding what makes the people you work with tick
-  Being able to walk in other people's shoes
-  Seeing yourself through the eyes of others
-  Looking for ‘Beam Holders’
-  Finding your passion and following it
-  Being patient and earning your stripes
-  Examined experience is the best teacher
-  The importance of daily reflection

You can find the complete article at:
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/03/business/corner-office-sharon-sloane-of-will-interactive-see-yourself-as-others-see-you.html

In approaching difficult conversations, 

a chief executive says, “you’ve got to 

get ‘on the balcony’ — you have to take 

yourself out of the situation and look at

 it as if you’re viewing other people 

playing your role.”

Tell me about your leadership style.

One approach, which my father taught me, is what’s called the “platinum rule.” It means, do unto others as they would have you do unto them. It recognizes that not everybody is motivated by the same thing. You can’t necessarily fulfill everyone’s wishes, but it’s crucial to understand what makes them tick.

Given your background in counseling, do you have good techniques for having difficult conversations?

I’ve learned that you’ve got to get “on the balcony” — you have to take yourself out of the situation and look at it as if you’re viewing other people playing your role. You have to be able to walk in someone else’s shoes and really empathize with them. But it’s also just as important to see yourself as others see you. If you can do that, it gives you a 360-degree view, and then you have more understanding. It doesn’t make a hard job easier, but it gives you a framework.

How do you hire? What are you looking for?

We really look for “beam holders.”

Please explain.

A beam holder is someone who feels personally responsible for the welfare and growth of the company and will do whatever it takes. If things are falling apart in another department, they’ll reach out to help hold up the ceiling.

It also means that I’d be looking for you to go the extra mile. That doesn’t necessarily mean working 80 hours a week. It means that I want to be able to talk with you and have you talk with me about everything that’s really important here, even if the work we’re talking about is not your responsibility, because I want you to be personally invested in our success. If that means answering emails on the weekend, then I know you’re going to do that. I’m not going to abuse it, but you’re going to be there for me, and by the same token, I’m going to be there for you.

We also give what we call mission-type orders here. I will be very clear with what the goal is, what the objective is. Then I’m basically going to give you the latitude to do it. If you need my help or have a problem, come see me. Otherwise, I bless you. So I look for people who can take mission-type orders and succeed.

I’ll also ask what’s important in your life. People certainly can prepare for that, but it’s also the way they answer it. I’m pretty good at picking up the memorized scripts. That’s part of my background.

What advice would you give to graduating college students?

Try to find your passion and follow it, because I feel really sorry for people who dread going to work every day. Another thing is to be patient. You have to earn your stripes. I think there is a tendency, especially with this younger generation, that if they are bright, they think they’re going to burst onto the scene. It takes time.

The third thing is that you’re going to have some failures and defeats. Learn from them. My favorite expression is, examined experience is the best teacher.

I do something every day that I call “chair time.” It’s my time at home at the end of the day. I just sit quietly, turn my phone off, and I let the day wash over me. What really happened today? Sometimes it’s realizing that maybe something was said that I didn’t really pick up on, or connecting a couple of dots.

My mother used to do that, too. I remember she would sometimes be sitting in the living room after a busy day. I’d say, “Mom, are you O.K.?” She’d say: “I’m fine. I’m just thinking about the day.” We have to be comfortable with silence, and I don’t think a lot of people are.

Twice a week, Adam Bryant talks with top executives about the challenges of leading and managing.