How to Support Our Athletes | Yelling Isn't It

Every weekend, millions of fields across the country have been converted to football, soccer, and baseball fields where you can see kids of all ages living out their dreams, trying to become the next Patrick Mahomes, Alex Morgan, and Christian Yelich.

Unfortunately, at those same fields you can hear and see those same kids' parent yelling at their kids, coaches, referees, and each other driving their kids to become the next superstar.  You get better people watching opportunities at youth sports events than the mall.

Parents usually have good intentions when they yell directions and instructions at their kids, but the yelling is not usually the the most effective way to change in-game behavior and performance and too much yelling can have long-term effects.

Read:  Why Are So Many Teen Athletes Struggling With Depression?

Coaches spend countless hours coming up with drills and practice plans to teach even the smallest and simplest skills.  They know that players don't learn just by hearing something - they learn by practicing and by repetition and by doing it over and over in game like situations.

There is a quote that says, 'Repition isn't punishment, it's how you learn and improve at something.'  There is no quick fix to getting better at something.  It takes time and 1,000's of reps to master something.

There is a story that young NBA player Buddy Hield went to work out with Kobe Bryant.  In that workout, they worked on the same move, from the same spot, for an hour and a half.  Kobe has also said that he would MAKE 1,000 shots a day in the off-season so that he was confident, prepared, and comfortable to perform in the games.  That's the amount of reps it takes at the same thing to become good enough to be able to do it effectively and repeatedly in the game, and that doesn't happen because we tell the loudest.

So while we think we are helping our kids when we yell things to them in the middle of a game, yelling at our kids from the sideline is hardly ever enough or hardly ever effective.  It takes practice and repetition for them to be able to successfully perform something in the game and that isn't something that they can get in game from mom or dad.

Instead of helping our kids, yelling at the kids is a distraction from being in the moment, it distracts the from executing the game plan that their coach has given them, it teaches them how to tune you out, it can create mental health issues, performance anxiety, and can contribute to them to wanting to give up the sport altogether

A survey conducted by the Aspen Institute and the Utah State Families in Sports Lab found that overall youth team sports participation in the U.S. is in decline—just 38% of kids are playing team sports today, down from 45% a decade ago. The average kid is quitting youth sports after less than three years—at age 11 (via: www.wsj.com)

If you really feel like your child can do something better, the best thing that you can do is get out and play with them outside of team games or practices.  Don't just drill them, but play with them.  Kids learn best through purposeful play where they can try and fail and try again new things without fear or being yelled at.

If you see areas where you feel like your kid is under-performing, get out and with them and play in situations where they are struggling.  Allow them to mess up, try again, and improve without fear of failure.

• One of the most important roles that we have to learn as parents is how to support our kids in a way that helps them, their coach, and their team.  Yelling instructions all game isn't it.