A Culture of Growth

A couple of weeks ago, I was helping coach a new team, and a girl kept dribbling the ball with her left hand even though the right side was open. I told her that she would never get better at driving right if she never did it. I told her that she was going to mess up at first and make mistakes, but mistakes are okay and an important part of learning.

She looked at me confused and asked, "So you are telling me it's okay to make mistakes?" This poor kid has been playing her entire career afraid to mess up, and it had been stunting her growth.

I have been on teams where athletes were so afraid to make mistakes, they shut down. 

I have also been on teams where the athletes were encouraged to try new things, make mistakes, and learn from those mistakes. This kind of team has what professor Mary Murphy calls, A Culture of Growth.

My youngest daughter plays on a competitive soccer team. While most coaches emphasize spacing the field and using passing to beat your defenders, her coaches emphasize using your skill to beat your defender. The mindset is, if you can gain the confidence and skill to take on your defenders, you will be a much better, more dynamic, and well-rounded player when you get older.

That mindset of being able to take on and defeat challenges is a life skill that will help you in all aspects beyond sports. Every day as an adult, I face challenges that I can either pass on to someone else, or I can figure out how to attack and beat. Sometimes the challenge is too great and we need help, but oftentimes, we need the confidence to try, the confidence to fail, and the resilience to bounce back and try again.

When my daughter loses the ball (after we tell her to get her ball back) we tell her that she will lose the ball so many more times than she will succeed. If we get one or two goals a game, that is a success in some leagues. There are very few 'Magic Moments' when you break down an entire team cleanly to get a clear shot on goal. Most of your shots come from trying a move, losing the ball, and working to get it back over and over as you build up the field. Most of your shots are blocked by the goalie. But the ones who don't stop, the ones who keep going, the ones who fight to get their ball back when they lose it and keep shooting when they get their shots blocked are the ones who eventually fight through to get their goal.

But it all starts at the top. It starts with having a Culture of Growth where the coaches have Growth Mindsets -  the belief that our abilities are malleable, changeable, and growable, and that we can improve them - through effort, practice, and over time with support.

Growth Cultures are TOUGH. They have high expectations, and they push you to reach them. But they provide support, and the space to try, fail, learn, and try again. Growth Cultures have coaches who say, "We are going to help you learn how to be better and do better. We are going to identify your strengths, and we are going to help you identify your flaws and weakness so that we can improve them."

Athletes respond differently to a Growth Culture. They are more excited to come to practice, and no matter how tough it was, they leave energized and ready for more.

Mary Murphy was asked, "What's the most important thing parents and teachers should know about growth mindset?"

She mentioned a study where kids were asked to solve unsolvable problems. Their parents were there, and they either helped them problem-solve by saying things like - "Try something new," or, "Have you thought about this?" Or the parents just winced and made faces every time their kid made a mistake. 

The parents' responses predicted their child's behavior.

Creating a Culture of Growth doesn't mean everyone gets a trophy. It doesn't mean that we are softer or easier on our athletes. When we have a Culture of Growth, we can be tougher and more demanding on our athletes because we are giving them the belief, confidence, and support they need to overcome obstacles and adversity. We are constantly finding new skills for them to learn and master, and we are giving them the tools they need to do so.

When we create a Culture of Growth, we are telling our athletes and their families, "We are in the arena with you. We win together, we lose together, we grow together, and we grind together."

Remember, when you are in that arena with them, your response to failure and struggle, whether verbal or non-verbal (facial expressions and body language) makes a big difference in how your athletes will respond.

Is your culture a Culture of Growth? Or, are kids afraid to try new things and make mistakes?