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I recently
read the book, Have a New Kid By Friday, by Dr. Kevin Leman. I originally
purchased the book in an effort to better reach kids who were struggling behaviorally in my classroom, and I found that the methods can really help as
a coach as well.
Summary:
Have a clear vision of what you want your program and
players to be, and calmly, confidently, and consistently live up to that
vision. It starts with your Attitude, Behavior and Character, and making
sure that your players feel Acceptance, Belonging, and Competent.
It gives a different lesson for each day.
Monday – Live the Vision
Establish a clear vision for what you want your program
and players to be. Then calmly, confidently, and consistently live up to
those expectations as if they are the norm. Eventually they will become
the norm.
Tuesday – The ABC’s
The beginning of this process is understanding YOUR
ABC's:
A - Your Attitude (Consistently optimistic)
B - Your Behavior (Consistently consistent)
C - Your Character (Do the right thing, the right way, at
the right time - consistently)
Respond Over React
A big part of the ABC's is learning how to respond, rather than react. When you react, your emotions tend to get involved, affecting your attitude and behavior. When you respond, you are correcting the issues constructively.
A big part of the ABC's is learning how to respond, rather than react. When you react, your emotions tend to get involved, affecting your attitude and behavior. When you respond, you are correcting the issues constructively.
Wednesday
Look at your coaching style and make sure it is conducive to creating the program that you envisioned. It is imperative to lead with relationships, but ensure that there is teaching and accountability to ensure that everyone is living up to the vision.
Look at your coaching style and make sure it is conducive to creating the program that you envisioned. It is imperative to lead with relationships, but ensure that there is teaching and accountability to ensure that everyone is living up to the vision.
Thursday
Make sure
you have an environment where your athletes have THEIR ABC’s:
A – Acceptance
B – Belonging
C – Competence
B – Belonging
C – Competence
Acceptance
Everybody will need to feel acceptance. If they don’t feel it from you, they will find it from someone else. And if they have to find it from someone else, their behavior will match your expectations, but the expectations of who they find that acceptance from. We all hate when a player goes to a personal trainer and they come back wanting to use a set of skills without knowing how to assimilate it to your program. Before you get mad at the player, the parents or the trainer, make sure that you are doing everything you can so that the player and the parents feel that the player feels complete acceptance in your program and in their role on the team.
Everybody will need to feel acceptance. If they don’t feel it from you, they will find it from someone else. And if they have to find it from someone else, their behavior will match your expectations, but the expectations of who they find that acceptance from. We all hate when a player goes to a personal trainer and they come back wanting to use a set of skills without knowing how to assimilate it to your program. Before you get mad at the player, the parents or the trainer, make sure that you are doing everything you can so that the player and the parents feel that the player feels complete acceptance in your program and in their role on the team.
Belonging
Everybody needs to feel like they are special because they belong to ‘your’ team and that is something worth celebrating. Just like acceptance, they need to feel a sense of belonging, and if they don’t feel that they belong among their teammates, they will find another group that will give them that feeling.
Everybody needs to feel like they are special because they belong to ‘your’ team and that is something worth celebrating. Just like acceptance, they need to feel a sense of belonging, and if they don’t feel that they belong among their teammates, they will find another group that will give them that feeling.
Competence
Everybody has something they can bring to the team, and the best coaches identify those things and help them bring those assets out. Great coaches can also grow their players while allowing them to do what they do best. Put your players in position to be successful and allow them to show their competence while still playing within the framework of what’s best for the team. Just because a player does a ‘Euro-Step’ that you haven’t taught, doesn’t mean they can’t do it competently and effectively.
Everybody has something they can bring to the team, and the best coaches identify those things and help them bring those assets out. Great coaches can also grow their players while allowing them to do what they do best. Put your players in position to be successful and allow them to show their competence while still playing within the framework of what’s best for the team. Just because a player does a ‘Euro-Step’ that you haven’t taught, doesn’t mean they can’t do it competently and effectively.
Friday
Put everything into effect and coach as if your vision has already come into fruition and it will. You will encounter setbacks and many teachable moments, but how you handle those situations is one of the things that separate coaches. Make sure you do so with YOUR ABC’s in mind: positive and optimistic attitude and behavior, and always with great character, because they are always watching!
Put everything into effect and coach as if your vision has already come into fruition and it will. You will encounter setbacks and many teachable moments, but how you handle those situations is one of the things that separate coaches. Make sure you do so with YOUR ABC’s in mind: positive and optimistic attitude and behavior, and always with great character, because they are always watching!
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