Save Their Future: The 2030 High School Reunion and Self-Deception

Tim Elmore is one of the leading people in researching and studying the iY generation.  These thoughts came from a short story from his blog that you can find here.  

Self-deception is the act or practice of allowing yourself to believe that a false or invalidated feeling or idea is true.

We all practice self-deception - seeing the world as adults for how we learned to see it as kids and not living in truth.  Or more damaging - seeing the world for how we WANT to see it and how it benefits us and not for what it really is.

We grow up and learn within our small bubble - whether that bubble was picture-perfect in a house surrounded by a white picket fence or dodging bullets in the inner city on the way to school - and the real world is so much more complex than that.  The world isn't black and white - it's full of so much grey area in-between, and we often lie to ourselves because we either ignorant to truths or we aren't strong enough to be completely honest with ourselves.  Why work on correcting my bad habits when I can disguise or hide them?

Work to discover universally good habits, characteristics and virtues, live by a growth mindset, appreciate your blessings for the gifts that they are and learn how to embrace and welcome your failures as opportunities for growth and escape from the self-deception bubble.  Learn to value sustained effort, delayed gratification and diligence in all that you do.  

"Success isn't just about greatness.  It's about consistency.  Consistent hard work leads to success.  Greatness will come."

Defeating self-deception is simple in theory - be mindful and aware of your actions and their consequences, and identify what brings value and joy to your life and do more of it, while at the same time identifying what is hurting your life and doing less of it.  

But it's hard in action because it either goes against how we grew up or it goes against everything we are wired to do, as Nic Saban once stated: 

The human condition is to survive.  Its not to win championships.  Its not to be the best you can be.  Its to survive ... 

At the core, we deceive ourselves because we don't have enough psychological strength to admit the truth and deal with the consequences that will follow. Yet, understanding our self-deceptive nature is the most effective way to live a fulfilling life. For when we acknowledge who we really are, we have the opportunity to change.

If you see yourself in the phrases above, in the article, or in the story, don't stress or worry: you can overcome with awareness.  We can't shift the blame in our lives to someone else; people may fail us, but we are responsible for our own happiness, our own success, and our own lives.  The greater your awareness, the greater your chances of stepping out of self-deception at any given time.  Be willing to work to find your success and your peace!

But at the same time, if you want to sit back, kick back, relax and just chill on a Sunday night - that's cool too.  LOL.

These are the quotables that I found from the article to keep in the memory bank:

“Josh, I’m not going to speculate on why your parents did what they did; it was probably with the best of intentions, thinking they were showing love. But here’s the unfortunate truth. They made your life way too easy. Too much pleasure, too much protection from consequences, too much artificial stimulation, too much empty praise, not enough work and not nearly enough discipline. How does that strike you?”   

In the first place, understanding that you’re self-deceived is the first step in treating the disease. The greater your awareness, the greater your chances for stepping out of it in any given situation.

 “Our childhood experiences create our concept of normal. It’s difficult for us to think it could have been unhealthy—especially if it felt comfortable. We’re talking about self-deception here, and it’s a common disease. In fact, it’s so common, I’ve never seen anyone who didn’t have it.”

“Good question, Josh. In the first place, understanding that you’re self-deceived is the first step in treating the disease. The greater your awareness, the greater your chances for stepping out of it in any given situation."

“And in the second place, I’m not giving you advice. The best I can do is to help you see yourself accurately and sort through some of the ground clutter—all the stuff that distorts your values and contributes to self-deception.”

A successful life is actually filled with monotony and long-term commitment. You’d be surprised how many years—or decades—it takes to achieve overnight success.”

“Not at all. You just need a new perspective. You need to learn the value of sustained effort and of learning to treat failure as a learning tool. Sounds easy, but you have a lifetime habit that will be hard to break. You’ll need a commitment level that is foreign to the way you’ve been doing life.”

-->