My Athlete Isn't Playing As Much As They Used To ...

Over the years, one of the hardest conversations come from parents concerned about their kid not playing.  Their kid is a great, hardworking kid who loves [insert the sport].  All they want to do is play, and they can't wait to play varsity [insert the sport].  But now they are a Freshman on the Freshman team or a Sophomore on the JV team, or they have finally made the varsity, but it's not what they envisioned for themselves.  Instead of being a starter, they come off the bench.  Instead of getting equal playing time, they are only playing a few minutes here and there.  Instead of coming home excited every day after practice, they come up feeling dejected and rejected and they are starting to lose their love for the game.

Parents are genuinely concerned.  This is the first time that their athlete has been down and depressed about the sport that they love, and they genuinely don't know what to do for their athlete.  Their athlete has always been a contributor on their teams.  They work really hard, and they have always brought value and have been valued.  Now, their role is very limited, and they are seeing the negative effects at home, including no longer wanting to play the sport that they love.

The two things that gave me heartburn the most as a coach are making cuts and determining playing time.  I try to explain it to parents like a funnel as you go from middle school to high school to varsity.  In middle school in Texas, we have A-Teams, B-Teams, and even C-Teams in some districts.  This means there can be up to 35-40 kids in a grade playing basketball.  By the time they get to high school as freshmen, most schools only have freshman A-Teams, and some might have a B-Team as well, and some schools combine middle schools.  So it could be 70-80 kids trying to make a freshman basketball team of 12 spots, and there is just no way to keep everybody happy.  

The funnel continues as kids progress through high school basketball.  There are 12-15 roster spots just for freshmen on the freshman team, but some freshmen make the JV or varsity team.  This could mean that those 70-80 kids that tried out have been whittled down to 15-20 athletes spread out over the freshman, JV, and varsity teams.  This also means that some of those kids who might have played a majority of the game in middle school have more competition for playing time and roles.  I see this especially with the former B and C team kids; they were able to play all of the time and star in their roles on their team, but it's harder now that they are with all of the  A-Team kids.

At the JV level, you only have 10-12 spots that are spread out among freshmen, sophomores, and juniors.  This means that not all freshmen are going to be able to move up to the JV team, and now there is even more competition for playing time.  A sophomore or junior might have to compete with a very talented freshman for a spot and time.

The next step is varsity basketball, and most varsity basketball teams carry only 10-15 athletes, and it is spread out among Freshmen, Sophomores, Juniors, and Seniors.  This means that everybody who made the team as a Freshman will not make it all four years to become a varsity athlete.  Some play multiple sports and there is natural attrition with this; some get jobs and quit, and some just fall out of love with the game.  But some just get cut through the process.

As our athletes move through the system, we lose roster spots for athletes, and playing time is less spread out as well.  As kids move from middle school to varsity, it becomes more about competition and less about participation.  Coaches can and do lose their jobs if their programs aren't successful.  It is important for them to play the athletes that will give them the best chance at winning.

In a recent podcast, former NBA great Dwayne Wade talked about being a dad of a high school basketball player.  His son is not getting as many scoring opportunities as he once did.  He said that he doesn't step in and interfere, but he teaches his son how to navigate through real-life situations.  Wade said, 

"We have to help our kids navigate through how the real world is going to be.  The real world is coming for them all and our job is to teach them how to navigate through it. Everytime they go through something that they can't deal with, its our job as parents to parent them and to help them through it.  The worst thing to do is coddle them and then when we let them out into the world, they don't know how to navigate.  We grew up talking about having street smarts, but now we have to teach our kids how to have 'life smarts.'

It's important for parents to understand how this process works so that they can help their kids navigate through this process.  It is also important for coaches to be aware of this process so that they can help their players, and their parents, navigate through this process.  Parent meetings are stressful and they just aren't fun.  But they are sometimes necessary.  Players want to have fun and play.  They want to be on the court doing what they love.  Parents want to see their kids having fun and enjoying doing what they love.  Coaches want to teach and coach; they want to grow and develop kids and athletes.  

This is a process that all parties have to work through together to maximize the experience for everybody.  

ATHLETES: Learn how to buy into your role, and if you don't like your role, continue to be a great teammate while working hard to get better.

COACHES: We can just expect athletes and parents to accept their roles, or we can help them and teach them and coach them through this process.

This journey is new for everybody, and we all want just want what is best for kids.  Let's learn how to work together for them.