Coaching the Uncoachable pt. 2

Last week, I wrote a blog about coaching uncoachable players. This is the second part of that blog.

I previously stated that I don't label athletes as 'uncoachable.' It is important to find ways to reach, connect with, and motivate athletes. Having a connection with our athletes lets them know what we care about them, and it also helps us better teach and respond to our athletes. When we have a connection with them, we know what they already know, we know what matters to them, and we know how they learn. That connection piece is the first part of coaching difficult athletes.

The next part is establishing standards and boundaries, communicate expectations, and to have measurable goals.

My theme for my daughter’s 5-year-old soccer team is ‘score goals and stop goals.’ It is easy and measurable. Did you score a goal there or did you stop a goal? If you did, you did your job. If you didn’t, you did not do your job. We teach so much more, including skills, teamwork, and hard work, but those two clear, non-negotiable goals are simple ways for us to put a measurement on our play.

The more clear that we can be in our expectations, the more that we can hold our kids accountable.

When you have an athlete that is considered uncoachable, make sure that you are clear in your expectations and give them action items that they either do or they don’t do.

Instead of saying, “You need to play harder,” tell your athletes, “You need to get to get the first touch, you need to get every loose ball or rebound.” When you tell a kid to play hard, you give them an out. They might think that they are playing hard. But when you say that you need to be the first one on the ground for a loose ball or a fumble, the answer is either yes or no, and it can be verified by the film.

I once coached a very talented high school basketball player. He just didn’t compete and work like we needed him to. We stopped telling him to work hard and compete, and we started identifying areas on the court, in practice and in games, where he needed to be better. Instead of saying work harder on defense, we said that his man should never get into the paint. Instead of saying work harder, we said that he should never give up an open shot. Instead of saying compete, we said that his man should never get an offensive rebound.

We stopped talking in theory and started talking in action. Then we started teaching. We taught him how to dive on the floor for loose balls and created drills where he had to practice it. We showed him how we wanted him to play defense and we set up drills for him to practice it. We taught what we wanted to see, we set up drills to practice it, and we measured it the rest of the season.

By the end of the season, he was doing MOST of what we asked. We went further in the playoffs than our school had in the history of our program. We identified what we wanted. We communicated what we wanted. We taught what we wanted. We practiced and drilled what we wanted. We measure it and monitoring it. We didn’t assume anything, and we won.

Throughout the process, we had constant conversations with our athlete about how he was doing, what we needed him to do, how he could do better, and how much we believed in him. We were in constant conversations with his parents too so that there was clarity in conversation all around.

When we didn’t get what we needed, we held him accountable, and we told him why.

This is the process that I use with all of the kids that I coach, but it is most needed with the kids who struggle with buying-in and their parents. Believe in what you do and what you are teaching. Be clear in your expectations. Listen and work with your athletes and their families so that you have a shared vision for them as individuals, for their family, and for their future.

If there is not a fit, after you have gone through all of the checks and balances, understand that this might not be the right fit. There are thousands of coaches and thousands of players. We might have to find a better fit for everybody, but do your best to not throw away kids without teaching them what you need for them.

Try living by this quote: 

"There are no bad kids, only bad instruction."

Take on the burden of athletes learning, growth, and success. When they aren't succeeding, look at what you can do differently. But do so in a way that you don't put unfair pressure or stress on yourself.

Good luck!