Coach People, Not Plays

The best coaches coach players, not Xs and Os. Don't be so focused on the plays that you ignore the quality of relationships with your athletes.

The quality of the relationships that we have with our athletes is as important as anything we can do. They are more important than (almost) any play you can draw up or drill that you can teach.

"Culture eats strategy for lunch."

Positive relationships help even our best athletes reach their full potential under less stress because we, as humans, are hardwired for relationships and to connect with others. Some neuroscientists even argue that our need to connect with others is even more basic than food and shelter and is the primary motivation of one’s behavior.

At the core of positive relationships is trust. Caring is the way that we generate the trust that builds relationships (CRT and the Brain). When we intentionally build trust and relationships, our athletes will be more willing to put themselves out there and compete with the courage that we need for them to be at their best.

"We feel the safest and most relaxed when we are connected to others we trust to treat us well."

So if we want confident athletes who are prepared to go out and compete, we need to work on building better connections, relationships, and culture with the team.

Ask and Listen
We spend a lot of our time talking to athletes, but taking the time to listen to them will help us build better relationships. It's important to maximize our practice time and no parent wants to see their athletes sitting around talking for too long, but taking a couple of minutes at the beginning, middle, and end of practice to ask simple questions like the ones below can have a big impact on your team’s success over the course of a season:

1 - What is something you learned today in school?
2 - What is something that you are excited about?
3 - What is something that you are confident with?
4 - What is something that you want to get better at?

After a few weeks, imagine how much more you can know about your athletes, and imagine how that relational equity can help them improve and buy-into what you are selling? Plus, when you really start to get to know your kids, you will know what motivates them and what is holding them back.

Build better relationships and you will have built better players and better teams.