4 Questions

Great teams are teams that have coaches who are truth-tellers and players who can listen, take coaching and criticism, and use it to help them be and play better.

There is a team in Texas that was known for having a lot of talent, but they were never able to put it all together to create successful, winning seasons. When they were on, they were on. But when adversity hit, they would start to fight with each other by pointing fingers and blaming others for mistakes.

Coach Rod was ready for a change, so he read Jon Gordon's book, the Power of a Positive Team. Toward the end of the book, a story about Pete Caroll and his time coaching the USC football team stood out and inspired him.

When Carroll was at USC, the Trojans enjoyed an amazing run of success that included a record of 97-19 and winning the 2003 and 2004 AP National Championships. Carroll created "Tell-The-Truth Mondays." The team would get together on Monday's after their game and talk about what they did wrong, how they can improve, and what they needed to do to get better.

Coach Rod knew that for his team to go from good to great, they needed to be able to have difficult conversations. He needed to create brave spaces so that his team could have meaningful and difficult conversations, and he needed to build trust so that those conversations are honest, open, and transparent.

Coach Rod started small and simple with what are called community circles. He began starting every practice by having the team circle up in the middle of the court, and he would ask them a simple question like, "What are music are you listening to," or, "What is something that you are excited about outside of the basketball." His next questions were, "What is something that you feel good about," or, "What is something that you feel comfortable about?" The third question was, "What is something that you are struggling with or something that you aren't comfortable with?" The fourth and final question was, "What can I do, or what can your teammates do to help you be better and do better?"

Asking 4 questions can be a very effective way to build deeper relationships with your athletes. It can help you all grow closer, and it can help you all understand how you can better help each other grow and grow together. These are questions that I use with my coaching staff, questions that I use with my athletes, and questions that I use with my family. I have asked my wife, "What are you excited to do this weekend, or what is one thing you want to do this weekend. What has been the best part of our relationship the past month? What is one area in which our relationship can get better this next month? What can I do to make this the best relationship ever?"

Learning how to tell the truth with your team is a game-changer, but it requires relationship building on the front end. Asking the right questions can help build those relationships faster than anything that I have seen. Here is the template for questions:

Question 1 - Ice Breaker - Ask them something that will get them talking

Examples: What is your favorite color? What is your favorite holiday? What are you excited about outside of basketball? What are you excited to do today, tomorrow, or this weekend? What music are you listening to? What shows or videos are you watching? Android or iPhone?

Question 2 - The Confidence Builder - Ask them about things that they are confident about
Examples that are you most confident about? What part of your role on this team are you the most confident about? What about this practice do you feel best about? What about the new plays are you most excited about? If you had to shoot one shot, where would you shoot it from? What do I do well as a parent, father, or spouse?

Question 3 - The Growth Opportunities - Ask them what they are still unsure or not confident about
Examples: What are you least confident or comfortable about? What is one area that you feel like you need to grow in? What is one area that you are unsure about?

Question 4 - How Can I Help - Ask them what you can do or what the team can do to help them in this process

Example: What can I do to help you with this or through this? How can I help? What can I do better? How can your teammates help? What is the next step? Do we have a good plan?