Create Winning Habits | Jon Gordon's Soup

In the book Soup by Jon Gordon, Nancy was hired on as the new CEO of the Soup Inc.  She had to turn around a failing company that was filled with negativity and declining performances.

It really is a great read about how the power of relationships and building the right culture can change even the most toxic and negative teams and working environments.

Gordon wrote that the leader of the team creates and drives the culture, but every great team has many 'pot stirrers' who do the work of stirring the pot with a shared vision and purpose.  The leaders must set and share the vision, but it is the positive energy of your people that will make this vision a reality.  When you create the 'pot stirrers,' make sure that you are communicating with them, encouraging them, inspiring them, and developing them.  You can't just give them the vision; you have to make sure to help them (Soup, page 110)

Two of the things that Nancy and her team implemented were Winning Habits and Success Fridays.  Winning Habits is a document that she and her leadership team created to help them promote acceptable habits and to discourage unacceptable habits in the company.  The purpose was to create a more positive culture and an environment that would fuel performance.

Some of the desired habits included smiling at your coworker when you passed each other in the halls and sharing encouragement.

Some of the unacceptable habits included complaining without offering a solution (the 'No Complaining Rule) and being rude to a colleague or a customer.

Jon Gordon writes that having people in the company create these habits promotes buy-in from the team members.  

A lot of coaches talk about the importance of having the players take ownership of their team.  They have to buy-in and they have to learn how to hold themselves and each other accountable.  Having your team create certain habits that they all agree to buy-in to, like being on the court shooting before practice starts, or staying late after practice on certain days to run extra routes, can help them buy-in to doing things that will lead to performance and give them ownership over their team.

Success Fridays were implemented so that every Friday, members of the team shared success stories from the weak.  When we focus on the good going on with the team, we don't have time to focus on the bad.  By having team members looking for and sharing good things going on, you create teams of pot stirrers who help celebrate each other and who help each other grow and be better.

This book is a great read for coaches taking over new programs or coaches wanting to change the culture of the program that they are already leading.

I DO Get Tired, I Just Fake It | Cole Anthony

Geno Auriemma has a video where he says, 'Great players don't get tired.  When the good players get tired, the great players kick their a**.'

Cole Anthony is one of the best players in college basketball.  When asked if he gets tired, he says, 'I do get tired, I just do a great job of faking it.'

Everybody gets tired; the best just keep going.

Bill Belichick once said, "The great equalizer is your mind.  It's not that you can't do it, it's will you do it."

The best don't let being tired become an excuse.  They work hard to make sure that they are in the best shape possible and they keep pushing you.

On Get Up on ESPN, analyst Louis Riddick said, "The difference between a back-up and a starter is not always that the starter is better, its that the starter can do it more consistently.  

It's a mindset.  

It's a mentality.

Mental toughness.

Resilience.

Grit.

It's whatever you want to call it.  They get it done more consistently."

The Value (and Work) of Culture

"A lot of teams focus on strategy and ignore culture, yet culture trumps strategy every time."
- Jon Gordon

Culture is a big buzz word in sports and business, and rightfully so.  Teams and organizations whose players and employees are actively engaged tend to be more successful.

We praise sports programs like the Duke basketball, Clemson and Alabama Football, and Belichick and his Patriots for their ability to sustain winnings on such high levels, and there are books and articles and studies based on their leadership and their programs' cultures.

According to Jon Gordon in his book, Soup, culture is a direct reflection of the leader and of the people and their values, character, and habits.

Culture and character drives behavior, and behavior drives habits.  Your culture and the character of your team influences what they do, how they do it, and when they do it.  

Having a strong culture is reflected in teams in so many ways.  Having a strong culture is the difference between your athletes showing up early to practice every day and staying late to get extra work in.  Having a strong culture means having teammates bought into doing things for each other.  Having a strong culture means athletes will make sacrifices for what is best for the team.  

It is important to invest the time and energy needed to create the culture that you want.  You can't just talk about having a certain culture and you can't just write your goals down.  These are the first steps, but the real work to creating the culture that you desire is spending time creating an environment that fuels athletes and their performance.

According to Gordon, creating a culture of greatness requires only three principles:

1 - Expect great things to happen.
2 - Expect your people to be their best and don't settle for anything less than excellence.
3 - Coach, train, and develop your team to be their best,

It is important to have a solid vision, and you have to inspire, encourage, motivate and teach your athletes.  Many times, coaches just expect athletes to have the right habits and the right character traits, but everybody isn't born knowing that they have to put in extra time outside of practice to get better - we have to teach them.  The same with culture.  We have to spend the time and energy needed to help them be their best, and we have to make sure that we have an environment that is set up for success.  

Culture is driven by the coach and leaders and works most effectively when everybody buys-in.  

Don't Get Discouraged | Keep Pressing On

Athletes just don't seem to have the same TENACITY that they once had.  Life has become so automated.  In some ways, life is harder than it used to be, but in many ways, life is so much easier.

We all like things easy, but when things are too easy, it ends up not being good for us.  There are always going to be times in your life and in your career when things get tough, and you are either going to have to give up or you are going to have to do a little pressing.

Pressing means to press against the pressure.  It means that adversity is coming against you, and instead of you just letting it defeat you, you say, 'No way, I know what God's word says, and whatever he told me that I can have, I will have it.  I will not quit and I will not give up.'

As long as you are believing, God is working.  Just because you don't see or feel anything, that does not mean that God is not doing anything.  

Don't get discouraged and throw in the towel.  If you feel like giving up and you need a sign, this is it.  This is the sign telling you, 'Don't give up.  Keep going.  God has a plan for you.'

We are all waiting for something.  Whether it is healing or breakthrough or growth, if you don't quit you will get what you asked for or something much better.

You have to press into things and press through things.  It's a principle that we have to understand. 

Load Management and Mind Management - Don't Wear Out Your Kid Too Early

Load management is important so that we don't wear our kids' bodies down before high school.

Mind Management is important so that we don't wear our kids down mentally before they are in high school.

About 70% of kids quit playing sports by the time they get in high school, and a lot of it has to do with the wear and tear that we put on our kids' minds and bodies before they are even teenagers.  Another major part of why so many kids are quitting is because they just aren't having fun anymore.

Select sports and the time and pressure that it puts on kids can wear them down and out before it even starts to matter.  Very rarely will a kid get a scholarship for what they do as a pre-teen.  It doesn't really matter how good you are at 14; it matters how good you are at 16,17 and 18.

Us parents have to be mindful of this. We have to manage how many hours of work they are putting in each week. We also have to be mindful of how hard we push them mentally. Yelling at them, driving them, pushing them to go harder and be better multiple times a week is not good for them. We all have our breaking points, and at some point, they will just have had enough.

Don't be the reason a kid who loves sports and has potential quits, just because you want to have the best 10-year-old or play on the best youth team. When your kid is a senior in high school, nobody will remember nor will anybody care who was the best 8th grader.

Have a long-term view and plan for how you raise your youth athlete. If you want to see them play as high school seniors and beyond, they have to value the right things: hard work, accountability, mental toughness, grit, etc. But they also have to enjoy the game and survive the mental and physical grind. Don't push so hard that they fall out of love with the game.

“Sports used to be something that kids go out and do for fun. But now it’s become so regimented where parents start to inject their own experiences or past failures onto their children, and it just takes the fun out of it.”

– Kobe Bryant, NBA Legend

The Difference Makers Are Creators For Themselves and Others

The Difference Makers Are Creators For Themselves and Others

To create, you have to get more touches.  Try to get your foot on more balls.  Just try to redirect it.  When you get more touches, you create more opportunities.  You might make more mistakes, but you get more chances too, and that's what being a difference maker does; they create for themselves and their teammates.

The next step is pushing through your mistakes without getting too fustrated.  The best don't worry to much about their mistakes and they don't let mistakes stop them.  The best just keep going.  Greatness starts with talent but it's really about who can handle the most adversity.  Who can mess up the most and keep learning and getting better without getting too fustrated, without shutting down, and without quitting.

Kobe Bryant said that he wasn't worried about missing shots.  He said if he missed several shots in a row, he would shoot the next one with confidence because of the percentages.  He said he worked too hard for him not to have success and for him to keep missing.  Some will say that Kobe shot too much, but history remembers Kobe and not his critics because Kobe stepped into the arena, ready for battle.

You are too good to keep messing up and you worked too hard.  Good things will happen.  Just keep working and keep getting touches.

Take Responsibility and Accoutability For Your Actions and Results

Don't let the mountain of SELF-PITY destroy your career or destroy your life.

You can be PITIFUL or you can be POWERFUL, but you can't be both.

Cut pity out of your life.  Don't waste your time feeling sorry for yourself and making excuses.  Don't let self-pity destroy you. Don't let it keep you down.  Don't sit around and feel sorry for yourself any more.

If things aren't going right for you on the field, on the court, and in life, it is your responsibility to fix it.

Change your behaviors, change your habits, chsnge yout mindset, chsnge yout work ethic, and then your results will change.

....

Don't let the mountain of blame destroy your life.

Take accountability for your actions.  Tell yourself "I know what I did was wrong, and there is no excuse and I am not going to blame it on anybody else because I am responsible for my behavior."

If things aren't going right for you on the field, on the court, and in life, it is your responsibility to fix it.

Fix it by working harder.

Tell yourself, "I will take responsibility for where my life is at."

......

Eliminate excuses.  Excuses bring comfort and excuses can be like a security blanket that protects you when you mess up or fail.  They can help you feel better.  But excuses don't help you GROW.  When you start reaching for excuses, counter your excuses with things that you should have done different or better.

Don't let pity, feeling sorry for yourself, blaming others, and excuses keep you from being the best that you can be and from living your best life.

Make The Coach Play You

Tyrese Maxey was an all-EVERYTHING guard in high school.  He came off the bench in his first college game for Kentucky to score 26 points and hit big shots for the Wildcats in their win.

Dick Vitale said during the game, “Make a coach play you.  Produce.  In practice, in limited minutes, every opportunity you get - PRODUCE.

I don’t know a single coach who doesn’t want a guy who produces.”

Maxey came in a PERFORMED, and he stayed on the court because of it.  He didn't pout on the bench.  He was up cheering for his teammates.  

When he got his chance, he PRODUCED.  This is a great lesson for all players:

- Stay ready so you don't have to get ready.
- Perform when your name is called.

- Players say "play me and I'll show you", coaches say "show me and I'll play you".

- Parents say "coach plays favorites" or "my kids the best," but that is another post for another day!

Do Your Habits Match Your Goals?

For athletes is really simple:

DO YOUR HABITS MATCH YOUR GOALS?

What you do everyday either gets you closer to your goals or pushes you further from your goals.

Look at what you do today.  Look at what you did yesterday.  That will show you how you will perform tomorrow.

The quality of our lives and our performances depend on the level of our habits.  If you keep living with the same habits, you end up with the same results.  If you want to improve your life and your results, you have to improve your habits.

Even small changes in habits can lead to big changes over time.  Start small.  Try to get 1% better.  Be consistent with your effort.  Success is the product of daily habits, not once in a lifetime transformations.  What matters is that you are on the right path to success.  You get what you repeat.  Your outcomes are a lagging result/measure of your habits.

How Leaders and Organizations Get Healthy

Jon Gordon is a bestselling author on leadership and positive culture.  On this episode of his Positive University Podcast, Gordon talks with Patrick Lencioni.  Pat and his team at The Table Group help leaders improve their organizational health.  Here the entire podcast here:  https://player.fm/1yJMHr

Below are my notes from this great episode about establishing and maintaining a healthy culture.

Dysfunctional Teams Don't Work
A team can't be successful if it is dysfunctional.  We have natural dysfunctions because we are human and we are imperfect and broken and we have a natural tendency to focus on ourselves before others.  We have to learn how to be a part of a team.  Caring about others and loving others is not natural, but that is how teams find success and wholeness.

Other-Centered View - The Low Hanging Fruit of a Team 

When you take attention away from yourself, when you think about the whole, and when you better understand each other - then the light bulb will go off.  Have an 'other-centered view' where you think about what your team members want, what they go through, and what they are feeling.  

How many relationships are broken because one person doesn't realize that the other person is just wired a certain way and that they are not intentionally trying to annoy the other?  Having an 'other-centered' view allows you to better understand others and get along with others.

Being a part of a family helps you become a better coach and leader because it teaches you how to be 'other-centered' and be more in tune with the thoughts, feelings, and wants of people you care about and people you work with.

There are fundamental principles of human behavior that apply at home and at work.

Table Group

The best piece of technology is sitting around the table and talking with others.  Sitting at the table and talking is simple, reliable, timeless and more effective than any technology.

The Healthy Family is Going to Win

As a leader, you have to be smart and know what you are doing, but if your team is unhealthy and filled with politics and confusion, this is no good for organizational health.  Organizational health is not always measurable, but it's practical and real, and when it's combined with being smart, organizational health and having a great culture can be a real difference-maker.  If people don't get that, you are just rearranging the depth chart.  It's simple, but its powerful and real.

The Sophistication Bias

If sophistication bias is the idea that if something is simple and not sophisticated, it's not valuable.  

The most successful people in life do the simple things well:

1 - Humble - Make it about others and not yourself. 

2 - Hungry - Work harder, not less.  Don't take shortcuts and have a strong work ethic. 

3 - Smart - Be smart about people and learn how your words and actions affect others.

The Art and Benefits of Humility

The opposite of humility is arrogance and pride is the root of all sin.  We are called to be humble.  Humility is not a lack of confidence.  Humility is deference to the truth.  Have confidence and stand up for what you think, and defer to what is true, not others.  If you have a strength or a talent that is good, denying that is not being humble.  

Humility is not thinking less of yourself; humility is thinking about yourself less. - C.S. Lewis

Be selfless, but if you are good at something, denying that is actually a violation of humility.

Being humble is knowing that there is God and that it's not you.  If you are humble, what are you humbling yourself to?  If you think there is nothing bigger than you, you might think you are the biggest thing.  It's really hard to be humble if you think that you are the biggest thing.

How Do You Make Yourself More Humble?

We have to receive the positive stuff but realize and remember how broken we are and realize what are flaws are, accept them, and strive to be better.  We all have things that we have to get better at.

How Do We Achieve True Success And Joy

'I thought achievement was the thing and that we have to prove ourselves, but then we realize our ladder is leaning against the wrong building.'  Real joy comes when we realize that success is not just about us.  Achieving life goals is pretty empty without perspective.  Don't chase stuff that won't ultimately make you happy.

CEO of fortune 500 Company: Do you have kids?

Pat: No, we just got married.

CEO of Fortune 500 Company: Ok, when you do have kids, my best advice is that you spend time with them because I have a 16-year-old kid and I don't really know him.  And it's a bummer.

Don't let your job take you away from your family.  If you are denying your family and living only for yourself, you will eventually implode.  You are a better leader when you are a better father/mother, husband/spouse.

What Are The Biggest Mistakes That Leaders Make?

Many leaders think that being vulnerable in front of the people that they lead will cost them credibility, so they pretend to strong when they are not, they pretend to have the right answer when they don't, and they believe in the saying, 'don't let them see you sweat.'  

They don't realize that hiding their flaws and vulnerability is actually stealing from their credibility and is breaking trust with the people that they lead.  So many leaders grow up thinking, 'Be cool, be calm, and be collected,' but the truth is, when you are feeling something or an emotion, or you feel worried or you feel like you aren't on your game, the best thing that you can do with the people that you lead is to ask for help or admit your mistakes.  When you do that, people will follow you through walls of fire.

What happens when the outside forces hammer you when you make or admit mistakes?  How do you maintain that strength on the inside while you fight those outside forces?

The most important people to be vulnerable with are your people, the people you lead, and the people on the inside.  What your people on the inside think matter so much more than what the people on the outside think.  The worse thing is when you gain credibility with the people on the outside but you lose credibility on the inside.  The most important people that you should be vulnerable with is your people.  It's the credibility of the people you lead that matters most.

What Are The Keys To Organizational Health?

Every person on the team has to be willing to be vulnerable.  Once you get a team who can acknowledge their strengths and their weaknesses, who can admit when they're right and they're wrong, it changes everything.  Then make sure that those people can answer the most basic questions about your organization and that there is no daylight.  Too often leaders allow for a little bit of daylight because a little bit of daylight between leaders is like a blinding headlight to other members of the organization.  

Make sure your team is behaviorally together, vulnerable with each other, and on the same page about what you all want to do.  It just comes from conversation.

What Do You Do Or Say When You Are Positive But Your Boss/Leader Isn't?

Don't assume that your boss/leader is doing what they are doing on purpose.  Realize that they would like to be better.  You have an opportunity to love up to your boss.  Share with them the kind truth by sharing with them things that can help them.

Sometimes they will hear it and they won't be able to act on it, and often they will seek you out for more.  Don't be a jerk, but don't be a butt-kisser.  Most leaders want to get better and are desperate for someone who is willing to tell the KIND TRUTH.  Sure there is risks but the rewards are great.  It's an art, not a science.  Do and say it without hurting feelings.  Make it about helping them and not about helping you.  Consult them and help them so that they can help others.  Leadership is a ministry in life and a great way to serve and love others.

What Is The Most Important Responsibility of  Leader

Leaders need to realize that they have the hardest job in an organization, and they should be GLAD for that because it's about others.  Some leaders get it, and others feel like they have arrived and put the work on others.  

A coach that is reward-centered gives all of the hard work to others:

• I avoid tough conversations. 
• I don't want to repeat myself all the time.
• I don't care to have interesting and engaging meetings.

A responsibility-centered coach says:

• It's my job to have the toughest conversations.
• It's my job to do the hard work.
• It's my job to make practices interesting and engaging
• It's my job to teach and re-teach until they learn what they need to learn.

A responsibility-centered coach takes pride in doing the jobs that nobody else wants to do but only the person at the top can do.  Be a leader for the right reasons.

The Quieted Mind | The Inner Game of Tennis

I am currently in the 3rd chapter of The Inner Game of Tennis, a book that teaches how to play and live in 'The Zone.'  Many great coaches like Pete Carroll of the Seattle Seahawks praise this book, and some coaches like Steve Kerr read it at the start of each new season.

'The Zone' is the feeling that athletes get when they're are performing at their best.  In the book author W. Timothy Gallwey calls it 'Peak Performance,' and he writes that Peak Performance comes from a quiet and focused mind that just performs and doesn't overthink.

Overthinking gets in your body's way when it is trying to perform.  Practice, practice, practice, but when it is time to play, trust your body to do what it needs to do and get your mind and your negative talk out of the way.

Another thing that gets in the way of Peak Performance is the voices in our heads.  What we think and tell ourselves plays a big part in how we play.  The ultimate goal is to play completely without thought and to allow your body to do naturally what it was trained to do.

Another key point that he made is that we often over-talk and over-teach.  For most, images are more powerful than words, and thoughts and instructions can sometimes get in the way of performance.  Instead of talking through every swing on the tennis court and looking for ways to correct, he said that he had success by having a tennis player simply watch him correctly swing and hit a ball and then try to do what they saw, minus the teaching.  

The greatest efforts in sports come when the mind is quiet and focused.  When a player is in The Zone, they aren't thinking about each and every step, they are reading and reacting in real-time and just playing.  The player just seems to know what to do, can feel what to do, and doesn't have to overthink about what to do.

The Shop | Talent Needs Drive

I was watching The Shop, a show produced and put together by Lebron James and his team of people that airs on HBO when they started talking about the importance of combining talent with work-ethic to reach the next level of success.

I am always looking for different forms of motivation for myself and my daughters, and The Shop had about a 5-minute conversation on how important it is to combine work ethic and talent.

Here are a few quotes that I took from the show:

LeBron James:  Everyone is blessed with the ability to do something.  Once you find what you are talented at, you have to have that DRIVE to want to be great and the DRIVE to go through it.  Yes, you might have the talent and a vision, but once you have the vision, there is going to be something, OBSTACLES, that are going to be placed in front of you.  We all go through adversity.  But the successful people have a will that won’t let them stop.

Bill Hader (Saturday Night Live): I had bad anxiety going into it, and they said, ‘Well, it’s going to get worse.’  But I had a second kid and I needed some money, so I had to go through it to get to it.  Anxiety, stress, obstacles, and failure are all a part of the journey.  Its how you go through it and what you learn from it that defines you and makes you who you are.

Demar DeRozan getting traded to the Spurs:  He didn’t talk to anybody.  He left and went to Anguilla for 8 days because trade talks were everywhere and he had to get away from everything.  The first person that he talked to was Pop (Greg Popovich).  Pop said that he traded for him and that they WANTED him.  It made him deal with the trade head-on and wouldn’t let him run from it.

He said that him getting drafted to Toronto was the best thing for his career.  ‘I was in the gym, every single night.  I’m glad that I took that approach because there were other guys drafted with him that weren’t in the league after 5 years because they weren't working on his game like he was.'

Question for Rick Rubin – Were you ever around artists who were fantastic, but just didn’t know how to be pros?  If they just learned how to be a pro, they could go all of the ways.

Rick Rubin:  The talent piece is unique, but there are so many talented people who, without the work ethic, we would never hear their names.

Steve Martin Didn't Just Wake Up To Be Steve Martin

Steve Martin Monologue:  Steve Martin was hosting SNL one night, and Bill Hader walks by Steve Martin’s dressing room and heard Steve Martin practicing his monologue by himself.  That is when he realized, ‘Oh Steve Martin isn’t just Steve Martin.  He has to work really hard to be Steve Martin.  He doesn’t just wake up and is Steve Martin.’

You don’t just wake up great.  You have to put the work in to be great.

Demar DeRozan said that a lot of guys come into the NBA and cruise through when they get they get their money.  The best stuff comes from the people who do what they do because they LOVE what they do.

You Have To Be Willing To Jump Out Of The Plane

Reality tells you what you CAN'T do.  You can't live in reality.  You have to ignore reality to do something new, and different, and challenging, and extreme.  You can't accept reality.  It's like jumping out of a plane.  We as leaders have the job of making them feel that scary. We have the job of pushing them to their uncomfortable place if we want them to do something special and transcendent.

The Importance of Education
People who make it without going to or graduating from college are unicorns.  Everybody can't do what they were able to do without education.  To be competitive and WIN, you need all of the resources that you can have to level the playing field.  Having the information and the education levels the playing field.  Combine your hustle, fearlessness, and drive with education and information, and you can't be stopped.

For Coaches Starting A New Job ...

To all coaches starting or taking over a new program, I am praying for you and cheering for you.

Remember that changing a culture is hardwork.  Rememeber that 10% won't like what you are doing not matter what choices you make.

Remember that some studies show that it takes 3-5 years to truly change a culture.

Focus on the work.  Focus on the good.  Focus on the majority that is following your lead and continue to work to move more and more of the negative 10% on your side or do what you need to do to find their replacement.

Have good reason for the choices that you make and be consistent.  Have a good plan, but be willing to adjust and edit as needed.  

Have mercy and grace for yourself throughout the process.  Some days will go great and you will feel like you are making big strides only to face setbacks on other days.  Keep fighting on those tough days, find ways to get just 1% better, and find positive sources of inspiration and motivation to keep you going.

It will be hard, but it will all work itself out.  All things work together for the good of those who believe.  Keep fighting the good fight with the love, with the grit, with the patience, with the work ethic and with the diligence that we teach and expect from our athletes.

Leadership is About Lifting Others

FOR COACHES AND PARENTS:  Leadership is about influencing.  How well do we influence behaviors?  How well do we influence others to do better or be better?

All of the knowledge in the world doesn't matter if we can't use that knowledge to lift others.

Its easy to get upset when others don't follow our lead or listen to our well-researched advice.  It is very frustrating when our players and/or kids don't listen when we try to give them the keys to success.

We KNOW what we are talking about.  But, it's not enough to know what to do.  We have to be just as good at communicating what to do and how to do it and why to do it.  We have to be able to give our message in a way that it inspires, motivates, and influences action.

FOR PLAYERS:  Basketball season is here.  If there was no tomorrow, how hard would play today?  Don't leave any drill, any practice, any game, or any season with any regrets.  You only get one shot at being an athlete.  Get the most out of it.  It will be over before you know it.  It goes by fast.