Mamba Mondays Week 5 - The Storm Always Passes

In 2015, Robin Roberts asked Kobe in an interview, “What have you learned about yourself through these 20 years of being in the NBA?”

Kobe said, “I’ve learned to always keep going. Always. No matter what happens, the storm eventually ends, and when the storm does end, you want to make sure that you are ready. Our one foot in front of the other because eventually, that storm passes.”

We all face storms. Storms are a part of life. But if you want to do the things that you want to do and achieve the goals that you want to achieve, you have to be willing to fight through the storms.

Have a goal. Have a plan. Then execute the plan. Stick to the script while learning and making the adjustments that you think will help.

But don’t quit. Don’t stop. Keep going, because the storms will pass, and when they do, you want to be ready.

Week 5 - Enjoy Everyday Life

I love sports. They bring me great joy. I love playing sports, I love coaching sports, and I love watching sports. I often tell my teams that the goal is to work hard to become the best that we can be while enjoying the process. What is the point of going 30-0 if you are miserable, and going 0-30 just isn't fun.

Joy is a feeling of pleasure and happiness that comes from Jesus, our faith, and the hope that something good is going to happen to us and through us. Good things and bad things happen every day. Choosing joy means that we find and celebrate the good things that happen in everyday life. One of my major goals is to find joy in everyday life and not have to wait for or rely on moments of celebration to experience joy.

Sports are supposed to be fun, but there are a lot of things that steal the joy out of sports.

You won't love everything about sports just like you won't love everything about life. When I played basketball in college, I was miserable at first. We ran so much that I thought that I was on the track team, and our coach yelled at us more than he talked to us the first few months. It just wasn't fun and there was very little joy.

But then I realized that each practice had a rhythm. We would do a warm-up, we would stretch, we would do some offensive skill work, and we would do some defensive skill work. Then, we would scrimmage. That was the fun part. The drill work warmed me up and prepared me for the fun part that was scrimmaging. Of course, it wasn't fun when our coach would yell at us for not executing, but I had to train myself to not hear the yelling but to listen to the message behind it and have fun competing and playing basketball.

I had to learn to look for and find joy in a regular, tough practice.

The other thing that happened was that we had a great teammate who was unselfish and shared his joy with everyone else on the team. He brought energy and enthusiasm every day. He had fun and he helped everyone else have fun. He was always talking, always smiling, and always encouraging all of us.

He taught me how to be a blessing to receive a blessing. He blessed us every day with his energy, and we started doing the same for others. We MADE it fun.

So, how do we find joy in everything that we do? It starts with knowing Jesus. Jesus is the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God (Hebrews 12:2).

Even when Jesus faced death, He possessed a deep joy beyond anything the world can offer. Just before He faced the cross, He spoke to His disciples and said, "These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete and overflowing." (John 15:11).

Choosing joy does not mean that you won't have problems. We will miss more shots than we make, and that is okay. We won't naturally get along with all of our teammates, we will lose games, and we will get yelled at and corrected by our coaches and parents. Jesus knew this and said that in this world we will have tribulations, but to take heart because he has overcome the world (John 16:33). 

We also have to replace negative thoughts with thoughts of joy. Inside all of us are two mindsets. One mindset is an energy vampire that sees the bad in all situations. The other mindset is an energy giver that sees the good and joy in all situations. They are both fighting for space in our minds and lives. The mindset that wins is the mindset that we feed.

Research says that you can't be stressed and thankful at the same time. Being thankful and finding joy in everyday life floods your brain and body with positive emotions that lift you instead of the stress hormones that slowly drain you.

As a man thinks in his heart, so is he. If we think about all of the problems and sad things in our life, we can't have joy. But if we think positive thoughts, if we appreciate the blessings in our life, and if we think about the everyday things that bring us joy, we can unlock a joy that overflows in our life.

The joy of the Lord is our strength (Nehemiah 8:10). So often we are drained because we don't have joy as our fuel. Find joy by focusing on, praying about, and meditating on things that bring you joy every day. Find joy by doing things that bring you joy more. Find joy through having hope that all things work together for the good of those who believe (Romans 8:28).

This Week 

1 - Choose hope. Every morning and every night, tell yourself, "Something good is going to happen to me and through me."

2 - Actively look for the good things happening in your life, especially when you are feeling down.

5 Bible Verses About Joy

1 - I have told you these things so that my joy and delight may be in you, and that your joy may be made full and complete and overflowing.
- John 15:11

2 - Your words were found, and I ate them, and your words became to me a joy and the delight of my heart, for I am called by your name, O Lord, God of hosts.
- ‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭15:16‬ ‭ESV‬‬

3 - For his anger is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.
- ‭‭Psalm‬ ‭30:5‬ ‭ESV‬‬

4 - Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
-  ‭‭James‬ ‭1:2-4‬ ‭ESV‬‬

5 - These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.
- ‭‭John‬ ‭15:11‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Prayer
Thank you for the blessings that you have given me. I pray that I can find love and joy in everyday life. I pray that your joy flows through me and flows out of me. I pray that I can find joy in everything, and I pray that your joy outweighs any stress, anxiety, doubt, or negativity that I might feel or experience. In Jesus's name, I pray, amen.

For a Google doc version of this devo, click here: Week 5 Devo

Mamba Monday Week 4 | Get Over Yourself

Kobe Bryant was a killer on the court who was known for never backing down from a challenge, a moment, or an opponent.

He had a level of confidence and fearlessness that very few can match, and that, matched with his drive and discipline, is what helped him become one of the greatest athletes ever.

But he had to overcome a lot of adversity when he first came into the NBA. He didn’t start at first, and he played limited minutes as a rookie. His teammates weren’t the most welcoming and they didn’t have a hard time telling him.

One of the lowest moments of his rookie season came when the Lakers were taking on the Utah Jazz in the playoffs. At the end of the game, Kobe shot 4 airballs in a 5-minute span.

He cost his team the game and the series with those air balls. It could have completely ruined some people. Most people don’t even want the ball in their hands at the most important moments of the game, but Kobe did and failed in the worst way.

His teammate Shaq, with who Kobe had an up and down relationship, put his arm around his shoulder and said, “Look at all these people laughing at you. One day we’re going to get them back. Don’t worry. Someday everybody’s going to be screaming your name. Take this and learn from it.”

When asked about it years later, Kobe said that he was fine after the misses. He said, “Okay? I shot 5 airballs on national TV in front of millions of people that cost us the series, and I’m 18, but I’m fine.”

When he was asked how does someone get mentally and emotionally strong enough to where that level of public humiliation doesn’t bother him.

Kobe said, “You have to look at the reality of the situation. You have to get over yourself. It’s not about you. Okay, you feel embarrassed? You’re not that important. If you are worried about how people may perceive you, and you are embarrassed because you shot 5 air balls, then get over yourself.”

He then said that after you get over yourself, you look at why those airballs happened:

“In high school, we played 35 games, a week in between, and spaced out. You get plenty of time to rest. In the NBA, it’s back, to back, to back, to back, to back, to back, to back, I didn’t have the legs. If you look at the shots, every shot was online, but every shot was short. So I’ve got to get stronger and I have to train differently. The weight training program that I am doing, I have to tailor it for an 82-game season, so that when the playoffs come around, my legs are stronger and the ball gets there.

So, I looked at it rationally. The reason that I shot airballs was because my legs weren’t there. Next year, they’ll be there.”

The next morning, Kobe was in the gym shooting 14-foot jump shots.

What Can We Learn From This?

You are only the main character in your own story. You are only a supporting character in everyone else’s story.

Your successes and failures only mean the world to you. As Kobe said, “Get over yourself.” Get out there and try. Try, fail, and try again.

And learn from every experience. If you are missing your shots short, get stronger and put more legs into it.

Didn’t make the team? Work harder and get better for next season.

Get over yourself, then figure out what happened, why it happened, and what you can do to learn from it.

Then try again.

Week 4 | Live and Walk In Love

Have you ever been around someone who loves what they do? Have you ever been in the gym with an athlete or a coach who loves being in the gym? Have you ever been in the locker room with a team that loves each other?

You can feel the love. It pours and overflows throughout everyone who comes into its presence.

Love is one of the most powerful forces in this world. When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, Jesus replied, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

If we want to live a full life, it will help to start living a life where we are who we are, love what we do, and love who we do it with.

Klay Thompson is a great example of someone who loves what he does. He is one of the most beloved players in the NBA. The Golden State Warrior team and fan base absolutely love him. He missed 2 1/2 years because of 2 major injuries, so of course, he was a little rusty when he came back.

When he was asked about his struggles shooting the ball, Klay said, “I don’t care if I miss 100 shots in a row, I am going to keep shooting because I love it too much and I work too hard not to." 

His love for playing the game and for shooting the ball helped keep him going when he was injured and kept him going through slumps.

But you won’t always love every part of everything that you do. Muhammad Ali, one of the greatest boxers of all time once said, “I hated every minute of training, but I said, 'Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.'”

His love of fighting and winning is what kept him going during his training.

In ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭19:8 it is written, “The one who gets wisdom loves life; the one who cherishes understanding will soon prosper.”

Wisdom comes from experience and reflection. We learn to love our life through the wisdom we gain from the ups, the downs, and the storms of life.

‬ ‭‬‬

God also calls us to love our neighbor. We are supposed to love, give love, and show love for the people we do life with.

What does that mean? 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 has a great definition of what love is and how to live and walk in love:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 

Reading that daily can help you love yourself and your neighbor. It won’t make you perfect. You will mess up and make mistakes. You won’t always be patient, kind, and trusting. You will probably experience anger, envy, and pride at some point. But these verses give you a destination and route for how to live and walk in love, and they give you something to aspire to be and to return back to.

Finally, and most importantly, it is important to love yourself. If you can’t love yourself, it is impossible to love others the way that God has called us to.

Loving yourself begins with knowing that you were fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). God carefully and intentionally designed all of us.

When you can learn to look at yourself in the mirror and love yourself with the love that God has for you, no filter in the world can match what you will see.

You will see that God is in you, with you, and working through you.

You will experience how priceless his unfailing love is, and you will see that you can take refuge in the shadow of his wings (Psalm 36:7).

You will see that He has plans for you. He has plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

Learning how to love yourself because God loved you first is the most important part of living a fulfilling life. It is more important than grit and a growth mindset because even grit is a combination of passion and perseverance, and passion is just love in action.

Through the storms of life, be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid and do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go (Joshua 1:9)

Love who you are, love what you do, and love who you do it with. And keep yourselves in God’s love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life (Jude 1:21).

THIS WEEK

1 - Learn how to look yourself in the eye, every day, and say, “I love myself.” You are an imperfect work in progress. God loves you through all of your mistakes and there is nothing that we can do to take his love away from us. Every morning and every night, look in the mirror and say, “I love myself.” Love who are, love who you were, and love who you are becoming by telling yourself, “I love you.”

2 - Thinking about and meditating on thoughts of love will help you live and walk in love. Every morning and every night, read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

5 BIBLE VERSES ABOUT LOVING LIFE, LOVING YOURSELF AND LOVING WHO YOU DO LIFE WITH

1 - Jesus replied, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

- Matthew 22:35-40

2 - Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

- 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

3 - To acquire wisdom is to love oneself; people who cherish understanding will prosper.

- Proverbs 19:8

4 - I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

- Psalm 139:14

5 - Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

- Joshua 1:9

For a Google Doc version of this devo, click here: Week 4 | Live and Walk in Love

Week 3 Devotional | You Can Learn How to Do Hard Things

Mindsets are beliefs that you have about yourself and the world. It is how you see the world and it affects how you think, feel, and act.

One test of your mindset is how you answer the question, “Is the glass half full or half empty?”

How you see the water in the glass is your mindset. How you see, think, and feel about yourself is your mindset. How you see, think, and feel about the world is your mindset.

Science and research say that our mindset has a direct effect on our success. If we believe in ourselves and our ability to do hard things, we can do hard things. If we don’t believe in ourselves and our ability to do hard things, we won’t.

In the Bible, it is written that as a man thinks, so is he. The Bible also says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

You have the ability to learn how to do hard things. In fact, you can do all things through Christ who gives us strength (Philippians 4:13).

Having a Growth Mindset is believing that you have the ability to learn how to do hard things with time and with deliberate practice, and it is also in having faith in God that He will lead us and guide us along the best pathway for our lives, advise us, and watch over us (Psalm 32:8).

One example of how having a Growth Mindset can help you achieve your dreams is Hailey Van Lith. She is one of the best basketball players in the country. She said that when she was in the 4th grade, she and her dad made a commitment to spend time every day working on her game. We see her hitting big baskets as a star for the University of Louisville basketball team and for the US National Team, but we didn’t see the 2-hour workouts that they did every day after school and even after her high school practices.

Some kids are just more naturally talented than others. They might be bigger, stronger, and faster than others. Some kids learn faster than others, and we all know a kid or two who seems to master things with only a try or two.

That is talent, and there is nothing that we can do about that. But if we believe in ourselves and if we are willing to put in the work, we can learn, grow, and improve.

I tell my athletes the race to greatness is a race to 10,000 hours. Author Malcolm Gladwell wrote a book called Outliers, and in it, he shared how research has shown that it takes 10 years, or 10,000 hours of deliberate practice to really master something.

Andres Ericsson is the world’s expert on world experts; he studies what experts do to make them special. He says that deliberate practice has 4 key ingredients:

1 - Specific practice and goal

2 - Focus (100% Focus)

3 - Feedback (Information-rich)

4 - Refinement

You can run every day for a year and never get faster if you don’t have a specific goal, if you aren’t focused, if you don’t get some kind of feedback, and you don’t make any adjustments.

But if you do those things, you will see growth in anything that you do.

One Biblical example of having faith and a Growth Mindset is the story of Abraham. When Abraham was 75 years old, God said to him, “Go from your country, your people, and your father’s household to the land I will show you. I will make you into a great nation, and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse, and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.”

‭‭Genesis‬ ‭12:1-3‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Abraham listened, and he had to leave everything he knew behind, but he did it because of his faith in God. Because of Abraham’s steadfast faith and his determined obedience, God guided him, advised him, and watched over him. Abraham had a son named Isaac when he was 100 years old, Isaac became the father of 12 sons who became the 12 tribes of Israel, and out of those 12 tribes came great historical figures and leaders like King David, Solomon, and Jesus.

Trust God with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths (Proverbs 3:5-6)."

Trust the process and enjoy the ride! Growth Mindset doesn’t mean that you will play at the best college in the country, and it doesn’t mean that you will be a professional athlete. But having a Growth Mindset means that you know that God has big plans for you. He has plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).

If you want to be great, it starts with believing in yourself and believing that God truly has a plan for you. Then go put in the work and enjoy the journey.

5 Bible Verses About Growth Mindset:

1 - “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

- Philippians 4:13

2 - “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”

- Jeremiah 29:11

3 - So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

- 1 Corinthians 10:31

4 - For God has not given us a spirit of fear: but of power, of love, and of self-discipline.

- 2 Timothy 1:7

5 - “I am God All-Powerful. If you obey me and always do right, I will keep my solemn promise to you and give you more descendants than can be counted.”

- Genesis 17:1-2

For a Google Doc version of this, click here: Week 3 Devotional

How Do We Get People To Stay AND Engaged?

In both education and sports, we are seeing an exodus unlike anything we have ever seen before. Teachers are leaving the profession at higher rates than ever before, and the transfer portal in college sports is filled with more athletes than ever as well.

HOW DO WE GET PEOPLE TO STAY AND ENGAGED?

Now more than ever, leaders and teachers in coaching and education could benefit from creating a culture shift that keeps people happy, hopeful, engaged enough to come back.

Gallup is a global analytics and advice firm that helps leaders and organizations solve their most pressing problems. They have done studies that show that engagement and job satisfaction increases when we are able to do what we do best every day.

SKULL SESSIONS

Before the Georgia Bulldogs defeated Alabama to win the 2021 college football national championship, they talked about how they use what they call Skull Sessions to create the deeper relationships that they needed to get an edge to get them closer to their goal of winning their first national championship in over 40 years:

Those Skull Sessions are regular, small group meetings where players open up about their lives and motivations. It helps their athletes become more connected as a team. In the sessions, teammates and coaches open up and tell personal stories about what motivates and inspires them. It allows the team to see each other more as people, and not just football players, and they say it is definitely working because they know what inspires, motivates, and encourages each other.

(Click here to learn how 'Circling-Up' can create stronger teams)

CREATING COLLISIONS

In The Culture Code, author Daniel Coyle tells the story of how internet entrepreneur and venture capitalist Tony Hsieh uses collisions to connect people. Collisions are small but meaningful personal encounters, and he feels like these encounters are the lifeblood of any great team. He has set a goal of having one thousand 'collisionable hours' per year for himself. 

When you meet regularly with the people you work with, you get to know them better, they get to know you better, and you get to know each other better. This helps you better define your purpose and create a shared purpose that everyone can support and believe in.

(Click here to see how you can create Collisions with your team)

THE ONE-HOUR EXPERIMENT

In The Culture Code, author Daniel Coyle also writes about how some of the best cultures are built on what they call Belonging Cues.

Coyle writes that boosting salaries, adding perks, and increasing incentives make sense but don't really help in the long term. He writes that creating Belonging Cues is a much more effective way of transforming noncommital team members into engaged team members. Creating Belonging Cues, like what Georgia does with their Skull Sessions, make people feel:

1 - Closer to each other

2 - Safer with each other

3 - Like they have a future with each other

Coyle looked at the WIPRO call center in India as a case study for how to keep people coming back to work and engaged in an industry where high employee turnover is the norm - like we are seeing in education and sports.

He looked at how WIPRO hired and trained new workers. Several hundred new hires were divided into three groups:

1 - Group 1 was a group that was hired and trained like normal.

2 - Group 2 was a group that was given an additional hour of training on the company's identity, success, and star performers. At the end of the hour, they were given a sweatshirt with the company's name embroidered on it.

3 - Group 3 was a group that was given an additional hour of training on the company that focused more on them as individuals and what they would bring to the team, including asking questions like What is unique about you that leads to your happiest times and best performances at work. Group members were also asked to imagine they were lost at sea and to consider what special skills they might bring to the situation. At the end of the training, they were given a sweatshirt with the company's name AND their name next to each other.

Seven months later, the 3rd group was 250 percent more likely than those from the first group and 157 percent more likely than those from the second group to still be working at WIPRO.

Coyle wrote, "The hour of training had transformed group 3's relationship with the company. They went from being noncommital to being engaged on a far deeper level" because of the steady stream of individualized, future-oriented, amygdala activating belonging clues they created between the employees and the company.

(Click here to see an activity where you can focus on your athletes as individuals)

When we make people feel connected, safe, and that they share a future together, people want to work harder, they are happier, and they are more likely to come back.

Taking the time to do things like Skull Sessions, creating 'collisions,' and taking the time to build connections like WIPRO did could be the difference between losing great teachers or great athletes, or keeping them happy, hopeful, engaged, and winning championships.

Mamba Monday’s | Ready When It Matters

Kobe Bryant spent a lot of his childhood in Italy because his dad played professional basketball. When he came to the United States, he said he was behind a lot of his peers because he didn’t grow up playing basketball in America.

When he was asked about this, Kobe said that at 13, he had a ‘kill list,’ and everybody who was ranked above him was on it. His missions was to kill (on the basketball court - not in real life) everybody who was above him.

To do this, he focused on building up his weaknesses. He said it is hard working on your skills playing AAU basketball because you are always playing games and always trying to win. But each year, he would work on something new so that by the time he was 17, he was a completely different player while many of his peers were the same players with the same strengths and weaknesses.

My college roommate has a son who is a top 5 player in the country. His journey is the same. As a freshman in high school, he was not a nationally ranked player, but every year, he grew his strengths, and every summer he worked on a weakness. He is now a complete basketball player with no real weakness.

He saw the ranking and used them as motivation to keep improving.

It’s not about where you start, it’s about how you finish. Middle school rankings are cool to brag about, but they mean nothing when you get to high school and college.

What really matters is that you keep growing and getting better so that when it really matters, you are ready.

Week 2 | You Can Do Hard Things

When I was in college, my head coach's big thing was 'Be Tough.' He would say that everybody was talented, and everybody had skills, but two things that separated the good from the great were consistency and toughness.

We would run timed miles every week, not because they were great for basketball conditioning, but because they were great for making us tough.

When you are on a track running a timed mile, it is you verse yourself. Every week, he would lower our time based on how we did, so each week we had to beat ourselves.

By the end of the season, I was more mentally tough than I had ever been because I had to be to keep going.

It was one of the hardest experiences of my life, but it was one of the most important experiences in my life. My college coach is the one who taught me that I had the ability to do hard things.

That is grit - the ability to do hard things.

The sports world is full of stories of grit. One of my favorite grit stories is the story of Olympic track athlete Wilma Rudolph. Wilma Rudolph was born as the 20th of 22 children in Tennessee. She was a sickly child who was forced to wear a brace on her leg after suffering from the poliovirus and was told that she would never walk again. She learned how to walk again, and by the age of 12, she started showing talent as a sprinter. At only 16 years old, she made her Olympic debut at the 1956 Melbourne Games and won a bronze medal.

She never quit and lived the rest of her life as an Olympian.

Noah's story in the Bible is one of the earliest stories of grit. By the time Noah was beginning his family, the world was full of wicked people with evil thoughts. It had gotten so bad that God decided to flood the world and start again. God saw that Noah was good and righteous, so he decided to save him and start fresh with Noah and his family.

We have all had to deal with peer pressure, so we know that being able to stand firm in your faith among the evil and wicked shows tremendous grit and perseverance.

God told Noah to build an ark and to bring a pair of every animal and bird. It took him years to build the ark, and it took years before God fulfilled his promise and brought the flood. Imagine being the only person of faith in the world, you build an ark, and it takes years, and years, and years for the flood to come? It would be easy to give up on yourself and your faith, but Noah's grit and faith wouldn't allow him to give up.

Eventually, the flood came and Noah's faith and grit were rewarded.

The ultimate story of grit is Jesus. Jesus left heaven to come to live the human experience. He saw firsthand how difficult it is to stay true to God and yourself on earth. He was talked about, made fun of, beaten, and hung on the cross for what he believed in and for what is right. But Jesus never quit. Jesus said, "In the world, you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world (John 16:33)."

Trials and suffering will come - I experienced both on that track running timed miles - but blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him (James 1:2). As hard as it is, try to find the glory in your sufferings because suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope (Romans 5:3-4).

That last verse reminds me of a story about my daughter and me. I coach her, and I am hard on her. One day I told her that I was proud of her and that I am hard on her because I see potential in her. She told me that she thought that I hated her. 

I told her to listen to what I am saying and not how I say it, and that she should be more worried if I wasn't being hard on her because that would mean I lost faith in her. I told her that having a tough coach is a blessing because they will teach you how to have grit, and the grit you gain from them will build your character.

God gave us all the ability to do hard things, and he doesn't give us more than we can handle. Whatever situation we are in and whatever we are going through, God will give us what we need to overcome it.

Keep your faith, keep going, and have grit.

THIS WEEK

1 - When you are going through something tough, remember that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope (Romans 5:3-4).

2 - Doing hard things become a little easier when we have someone supporting us. Find people who need help, and find ways to serve and bless them.

3 - One of the best things that we can do is meditate and think about Bible verses. Every time you meditate on a message, it gives you a greater strength to be able to do the message. Below are 6 Bible verses that you can use to help you get through tough times.

KEY BIBLE VERSES

1 - In the world, you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.
- John 16:33

2 - Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.
- James 1:2

3 - We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.
- Romans 5:3-4

4 -  Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
- 2 Chronicles 20:17

5 - Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.
- Colossians 3:2

6 - And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.
- Galatians 6:9

 

The Key to Winning (People Over)

When I get up and speak in front of people, I get nervous. I question whether they are going to buy what I am selling, or if they are going to see me as a fraud. It could be in front of a classroom full of students, in front of my team in a pre-game speech, or in front of a group of educators or coaches, but that nervousness and anxiety never really leave.

I don't expect nervousness or anxiety to ever fully leave. Getting rid of them is not my goal; my goal is to learn how to control and direct anxiety when needed. Tennis legend Billie Jean King said, "Pressure is a privilege - it only comes to those who earn it." I have earned the privilege to speak in front of people in different capacities, but I still want to be seen as competent and for people to 'buy what I am selling.'

In The Talent Code, author Daniel Coyle wrote that the content of our pitch doesn't matter as much as the set of cues with which the pitch was delivered and received. Three things play a major factor in influencing choices more than others:

1 - Believing in yourself and your ideas

2 - Speak with confidence

3 - Be determined to make it work

While many think that rational measures like original ideas, fit, and fully developed plans make a big difference in whether or not people buy into us, how we connect with the people in the room and make people feel safe are more impactful.

Words are noise, and group performance depends on behavior that communicates the idea that we are safe and connected.

Coyle also said that three basic qualities that are required for people to feel safe and connected are:

1 - Energy: They invest in the relationship and exchange

2 - Individualization - They treat the person as unique and valued

3 - Future orientation - They signal the relationship will continue.

Don't overthink your next pre-game speech or talk to your class. Believe in yourself, speak with confidence, and be determined to make it work. Invest time and energy in building relationships with the people you work with, treat them as unique and valued people, and make them feel and believe that the relationship will continue in a positive way.

Good Apples vs Bad Apples

In The Culture Code, Daniel Coyle wrote about a guy named Nick whose job was to go into different groups and sabotage their performance.

To do so, Nick had to be one of three types of bad apples:

1 - The Jerk who was overly aggressive and defiant

2 - The Slacker who gave little to no effort

3 - The Downer who was depressed and saw the glass as half-empty

Nick took turns playing these three roles in 40 different, 4-person teams in what was called, "The Bad Apple Experience."

In almost every group, Nick's behavior reduced the quality of the team's performance (he was really good at being a bad apple).

When Nick was The Downer, everybody came on to the team super energized, but when he would act quiet and tired and put his head down. Eventually, the team started to behave tired, quiet, and with low energy as well.

When Nick was The Slacker, something similar happened. The group quickly picked up on his vibe and started slacking too.

The interesting part of the experiment is that when they asked the teams about their experience and performance after they were finished, the teams thought that they did a good job and said that they enjoyed it, but observations and the results said something different.

Nobody got upset with The Slacker or The Downer when he was a part of the team; they just became slackers and downers too.

But then Nick joined Jonathan's team, and Jonathan nearly infuriated Nick because Nick's negative moves wouldn't work like they had on the other teams. Jonathan was able to flip Nick's negative behavior and engage everyone and keep the team moving in a positive direction.

What was different?

Despite Nick and his effort at being the baddest apple he could be, Johnathan and his team stayed attentive and energetic, and they produced great results. 

When Nick would start being a jerk, Johnathan would lean forward, use body language, laugh and smile and diffuse the situation; that pattern continued. Nick would be a jerk, and Johnathan would react immediately with warmth, deflect, and deescalate.

Johnathan made a potentially unstable situation feel solid and safe. Johnathan asked simple questions that kept the team on task, listened intently, and he responded. The energy levels of the group increased, the team members opened up and shared ideas, and they continued steadily toward their goal. Johnathan even engaged Nick by asking him questions.

Johnathan's simple behaviors made all the difference, and he wasn't the typical, strong leader that we would expect to difuse a bad apple like Nick. Johnathan didn't take care or tell anyone what to do. He didn't strategize, motivate, or layout a vision. He created a safe environment where people could work together, learn from each other, and share with each other. Johnathan kept everyone connected and his team succeeded - not because they were smarter or better than the other teams - but because they were safe to keep their positive energy.

Coyle wrote, "Safety is not mere emotional weather but rather the foundation on which strong culture is built."

Johnathan changed the game because of his ability to connect with others and deflect away from negative behavior. He wasn't loud about it, and if he was on a basketball team, he probably wouldn't be the best player on the team. He was the Glue Guy who kept everyone (even bad apple Nick) together, and he showed that having a good Glue Guy could be just as, if not more effective, than having a super talented guy. Anybody can be a bad apple, and anybody can be a Johnathan.

Reflect:

1 - Are you a good apple or a bad apple?

2 - If you are a bad apple, which one of the three bad apples are you (you can have traits of more than one bad apple)?

3 - If you are a bad apple, what do you need to do to become a good apple?

4 - If you are a good apple, what do you do - or can you do - to help turn bad apples good?

References

Coyle, Daniel. The Culture Code. Batam Books, 2018,