A Coach's Diary

One of the most important things we can do is learn how to walk in love. Love is how we treat people. When you are around people they may not remember what you said, and they may not remember your record together. But they will remember how you made them feel. They will always remember if you made them feel good or made them feel bad. They will remember if you made them feel valued or unvalued. Add value to people by walking in love. How we treat people is the most important thing we do. Spend your time valuing people and treating people with love. This will lead to blessings, wins, and changed lives.

Every year, somebody gets cut from a team, gets passed in the draft, and gets dismissed or mistreated in the locker room. Many athletes are not able to let those slights go, and many of them hold on to those grudges intentionally to use them as motivation.  Tom Brady probably still gets emotional  when thinking about getting passed over for six other quarterbacks, and 192 other players. After winning the super bowl after leaving the New England Patriots for the Tamba Bay Buccaneers, he released a commercial including headlines, voice-overs, and tweets from his many skeptics and unbelievers, including athletes, sportswriters, and fans, criticizing him and doubting his ability to play at a high level at his age. Tom Brady has used those slights, grudges, and criticism to help him win a record 7 Super Bowls. The ultimate grudge-holder in sports might be Michael Jordan. If you looked at Jordan wrong, he might hold a grudge against you. He made up grudges to motivate himself, and h...

When I was growing up, I hated playing against a team called the Razorbacks. They were the best team in the league, and they would let you know it. They would talk trash to you, they would foul you hard, and their parents were the loudest in the stands. There are some teams I didn’t mind losing to, but the Razorbacks were not one of them. They would beat you and then rub it in your face. As much as I didn’t like them, the Razorbacks brought the best out of us. They pushed us harder and farther than we could push ourselves. We eventually got to the point where we could play with them and beat them, and that was the best feeling as a young athlete. Finally beating them taught me that by having a goal and working hard for that goal, I could achieve my dreams. They taught me that adversity is a part of everyone’s journey, and how to plan for adversity and losses in my goal setting process. COMPETITION REVEALS THE GREATNESS THAT IS ALREADY WITHIN YOU. They also taught me that some people ar...

Have you ever been around someone who loves what they do? Have you ever been in the gym with an athlete or a coach who loves being in the gym? Have you ever been in the locker room with a team that loves each other? You can feel the love. It pours and overflows throughout everyone who comes into its presence. Love is one of the most powerful forces in this world. When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, Jesus replied, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. ’  This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ If we want to live a full life, it will help to start living a life where we are who we are, love what we do, and love who we do it with. Klay Thompson is a great example of someone who loves what he does. He is one of the most beloved players in the NBA. The Golden State Warrior team and fan base absolutely love him. He missed 2 1/2 years because of 2 majo...

I walked into the coach's office, and one of the football coaches was sitting at his desk with his head down. I ask him what was wrong, and he said that the 'Big Game Flu' was running through his team. I asked him what the 'Big Game Flu' was, and he said that some seasons, when his team was having an average or below-average season without a lot of leadership and lacking in grit, many of his players would end up hurt when they would play the top teams in their district, only to be healthy the next week against a weaker opponent. Their coaching staff, noticing this trend happening the week of the big game, started calling this phenomenon the 'Big Game Flu.' He said that the 'Big Game Flu' doesn't run through their team every year. The years where they have strong leadership, when their athletes are mentally tough and have grit, and when he has athletes who truly love to play the game and play with and for each other, the big game weeks are the bes...

Have you ever been so afraid of something that you don’t do it at all or you don’t do your best? In a big game in the biggest tournament of the year, I was fouled with no time left, we were down by one point, and I had two free throws and the chance to win the game. It was my first time shooting free throws in a big moment like that, and I was very nervous. My heart was beating through my chest, and I could not stop my legs from shaking. I missed both shots, we lost, and I thought it was all my fault. I led my team in scoring, rebounding, and assists, but being in that moment was the scariest thing that I had been a part of, and I let that fear hold me back from being my best. If I could do it all over again, I would not focus on the fear - I would focus on love. Writer and speaker Jon Gordon says fear can sabotage you and keep you from living the life you want, but love casts out fear. He says that if you love something, you won’t fear it.  Athletes grow up dreaming about making g...

Think about how much better our teams, and the world could be, if we focused on loving each other and lifting each other up. Playing team sports helps us learn how to work with all types of people. Some of our teammates are easy to be around and play with, while some teammates are a little more difficult to get along with. The same can be said for coaches. Some coaches are easy to play for, and some coaches are more difficult to play for. As Chrisitians, we are called to love all teammates and all coaches. When Jesus was asked, “What is the greatest commandment,” he replied, “‘ Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments .’” The original Hebrew word for neighbor is plesion, and it means friend or any other person. Jesus said the two most important things that we are called to d...

Do you love it? Do you love practicing? Do you love playing? Do you love dribbling the ball while you are watching TV? Having grit and a growth mindset are very important, but passion and love has to come first. Being successful in sports is hard. You have to push yourself beyond your limits, and you have to be willing to get out of your comfort zone. It takes grit to do that, but it also takes love and passion. It is hard to go through hard things if you don’t love what you do. Fall in love with the game. Fall in love with practicing. Fall in love with working on your game on your own. When you are in the gym, at the court, on the field by yourself, pause and say to yourself, “This is my favorite thing to do.” Michael Jordan had a ‘Love in the Game’ clause put in his first contract. He loved playing the game so much, he put in his contract that he had the ability anytime, anytime. He said, “It’s about playing with your heart and with passion. You play the game for the love of the game...

LOVE “Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love , just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.” The best team s have great teammates. Great teammates care about each other. Great teammates love each other. Great teammates support, encourage, and inspire each other. Ephesians 5:2 says that we should walk in love as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us. We should love the people around us, we should look to serve the people around, us, and we should look for ways to help the people around us look better, feel better, do better, and be better. These are some qualities of great teammates:  They bring out the best in each other. They support each other. They inspire and encourage each other. They help each person meet their needs. They go out of their way to help and support one another. They are happy when one of their teammates do well. They show a teammate who failed that they are sti...

Doug McDermott was a 6-foot, scrawny freshman in high school, and went on to have a great division 1 basketball career, and is now an NBA vet. He was the 6th man as a junior for his high school team, but he embraced his role and did what he had to do for the team. Doug's father coached him in college at Creighton, and he said that growing 6-8 by the time he graduated from college helped Doug have success, but he also said that Doug just continued to get better. He continued to work. He embraced the value of nutrition and getting enough sleep, and he worked extremely hard in the weight room to develop his body. He was a gym rat, but an efficient gym rat. He wouldn't spend hours in the gym working part of the time and screwing around the rest. When he got to the gym, he had a vision in mind of what he wanted to accomplish. He got it done and then he went and enjoyed some of the other things that he likes to do. Have a plan. Follow the plan. Work super hard when nobody is around. ...

I mess this up, a lot. I messed this up last night. At basketball practice, my daughter would not see and pass the ball ahead to the open girl. After telling her twice, I stopped practice and had to say it again in front of everybody. The next play, she forced a bad pass to a covered girl across the court, it led to a turnover, and my reaction was terrible. It was one of those moments that keeps me up at night. I can't sleep because I am thinking about how I could have, and should have, responded better. I am not an old-school yeller, but I have high expectations for my athletes, and I try to hold them to it. But, I try to do so in a way that builds them up while holding them accountable. My two biggest fears as a coach are causing them to lose love for the game and causing them to be afraid to take risks. Those two things, love, and courage, are two of the biggest reasons I coach. I want kids to love sports like I learned to love them by having fun and having success, and I want m...

When I was growing up, there was a school down the street from my house, and I used to spend a lot of time on their basketball court. I was there on nights before big games. I was there during the summer mornings getting work in before most people woke up. I was there most summer nights. I was there when life just got hard, times were tough, and I need to get away. Now, I am there on Friday nights with my daughters and their teammates, pushing them a little harder than they probably want to be pushed, but trying to help them get ahead and stay ahead. Little reminders like this help me remember what these Friday nights are really about - falling in love with the game. The court has always been my safe space. Winning is fun. The games are great. But nothing is better than the sport itself. Nothing is better than having a ball and a hoop.

Teach them how to LOVE the GAME. Teach them how to LOVE to WORK. Teach them how to LOVE to COMPETE. Teach them to not be afraid to lose. If they have these, they will have the passion, the work ethic, and the grit they need to accomplish anything in sports and in life! "The most we can hope for is to create the best possible conditions for success, then let go of the outcome. The ride is a lot more fun that way."  - Phil Jackson I just want my athletes, my kids, to build a love for the game that lasts after they are done playing, to learn how to work hard for the goals that they want to achieve, to compete to be their best and to not be afraid to lose. It's okay to lose, especially if you gave it everything that you had in practice and the game.  Just don't be afraid to compete. And just make sure that when the game is over, they felt you out there and you made it hard for them.