Mamba Mondays | Success Leaves Clues

One of my good friends has a son who is a high-major athlete at a power 5 school. The advice he gives to parents of athletes going through the youth sports experience and recruitment process is, "Just make sure they are good enough. If they are good enough, they will have an opportunity to play on top teams and play in college, but the second they stop being good enough, the opportunities stop too."

In his book, The Mamba Mentality, Kobe Bryant writes that he learned a lot from studying and watching Muhammad Ali. Here is what he wrote about Ali:

One of the main takeaways was that you have to work hard in the dark to shine in the light. Meaning: It takes a lot of work to be successful, and people will celebrate that success, will celebrate that flash and hype. Behind that hyp, though, is dedication, focus, and seriousness - all of which outsiders will never see. If you stop being dedicated to the craft, the commercials and contracts will all fade away.

Success comes down to hard work. Success also leaves clues. Motivational author and speaker Tony Robbins once said:

"Long ago, I realized that success leaves clues and that people who produce outstanding results do specific things to create those results. I believed that if I precisely duplicated the actions of others, I could reproduce the same quality of results that they had."

This week, find somebody who is successful and study what they had to do to become successful.

Week 39 | A Growing Faith

My favorite part about coaching is watching my athletes grow because when we grow as people, the potential for the team grows.

But we have to believe in ourselves, believe in each other and in our leaders and believe in the process.

The good thing about belief is that it doesn’t have to be big or deep at first. Just believe enough to show up, keep showing up, and do the next right thing.

If we do that, if we keep showing up, our confidence, belief, and our ability will grow together.

We have to have faith.

In Matthew 17, a crowd was waiting at the bottom of a mountain for Jesus and his disciples. A man came and knelt before Jesus and said, “Lord, have mercy on my son. He has seizures and suffers terribly. He often falls into the fire or into the water. So I brought him to your disciples, but they couldn’t heal him. (Matthew‬ ‭17:14-16‬)

The boy had a demon inside of him, and after Jesus healed him by removing the demon, the disciples asked privately, “Why couldn’t we cast out that demon?”

Jesus said to them, “You don’t have enough faith. I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.”

A mustard seed is a tiny seed. It is only 1-2 millimeters long, but the mustard bush can grow up to 30 feet in ideal situations.

Jesus is telling us that the type of faith that moves mountains is a faith that grows. The mustard seed doesn’t stay in its original size, shape, or form; the mustard seed grows and transforms. If we want to have the type of faith that moves mountains, we must have a faith that grows and transforms.

We don't have to have all the right answers; we never really do anyways. Just keep showing up, do your best, and learn.

THIS WEEK

1 - Show up. My favorite quote is from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr: "The time is always right to do what's right." Show up and do the next right thing.

2 - When do you struggle with your confidence, your belief, or your faith the most?

3 - What is a Bible verse or inspirational story that you can lean on when you struggle with your confidence, your faith, or your belief?

This week, I will lean on Philippians 4:6-7: Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

4 - Who is someone you can inspire, bless or serve this week?

For a Google doc version of this devo, click here: A Growing Faith

How to Defeat Give-Up-Itis

When I am going through long periods of stress, like a losing streak or a shooting slump, my body starts to shut down, fatigue starts to kick in, and all I want to do is sleep.

It’s harder for me to get out of bed, I stop exercising and meditating, and I spend more time on social media than reading good books.

In his book Do Hard Things, Steve Magness writes that these are signs of Give-Up-Itis, learned helplessness that is the clinical expression of mental defeat.

When we don’t feel like we have control over our situation, we start to shut down mentally. What we think is a lack of grit, toughness, and motivation is actually a lack of sense of control over our lives, and apathy and hopelessness take over.

So how do we overcome this?

Magness wrote that psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl noted that when he was in Auschwitz, another prisoner told him that to increase his chances of survival he should do two simple things: shave and stand tall. In other words, control what you can and do the next, right thing.

In 1606, 107 men sailed across the Atlantic Ocean and established Jamestown, the first permanent English colony in the New World. Within the first year, only 38 were still alive. Death overtook the colony until John Smith, adventurer, and legend in the Pocahontas story, took over and led with a new motto: Work or starve. It was written that more people died there from the disease of their mind than the disease of their bodies, but under Smith’s charge to get to work, the death rate significantly lowered.

Magness writes that there are 4 stages of Give-Up-Itis:

1 - General withdrawal

2 - Apathy

3 - Loss of Emotional Response

4 - Lack of Response to any External Stimulus

He further writes: “Along the way, motivation to do menial tasks erodes until the simplest of tasks can no longer be completed. Listlessness takes over. The last stage is psychogenic death.”

So what can we do to restore a healthy amount of happiness, hopefulness, and engagement?

Shave and stand tall. Work or starve. Control what you can control by doing the next right thing, then build on that. Admit that you don’t know what you don’t know, but promise that you will do what you can do. Adopt a ritual or routine.

For leaders looking to give back control to their people, Magness shares 3 ideas that can help develop a sense of control in the people you lead and work with:

1 - Learn to Let Go

“Trust and verify.” Explain your expectations, teach them the skills they need to be successful, then give them the freedom to do what they need to do while occasionally checking on their progress (without micromanaging). Search for opportunities to put your people in a position to shine and be successful.

2 - Set the Constraints and Let Them Go

Give them a lane to run in, then let them run! See how much you can phase yourself out by growing your people and giving more and more control. I often say, “Here are the 3 things I need to come out of this, but you have to freedom to create and do whatever else you think needs to be done.”

3 - Allow Them to Fail, Reflect, and Improve

Failure is an important part of the learning process. We often think that successful people are more talented, but more often, they were the ones who just keep showing up. Create conditions that allow for your people to try and fail in ways that won’t kill their confidence.

When we don’t feel like we have control, we lose motivation and our mental toughness, emotions, and inner voice spirals as Give-Up-Itis takes control over our minds and bodies. But you can fight back, one small thought and one small action at a time.

Toughness is built, developed, and grown one action and choice at a time. “Being tough is about navigating your experiences so that you can keep moving forward. Toughness isn’t just about persistence in the face of discomfort. It’s about making a good decision.”

Mamba Mondays | Meditation

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface, he looks calm and ready to drop bombs
But he keeps on forgetting what he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's choking how everybody's joking now
The clock's run out, time's up, over, blaow!

Eminem’s lyrics to Lose Yourself describe how I feel before big games when I let my nerves get the best of me. One thing that has helped me control my emotions and nerves is meditation.

Kobe Bryant, one of the best basketball players and athletes of all time credited much of his success to meditation. Kobe said that he would meditate every morning for 10-15 minutes. Doing so would set him up for the rest of the day. It was like having an anchor, and when he didn’t do it, he felt like he was constantly chasing the day as opposed to being in control. When he meditated in the morning, Kobe felt calmer and poised, and he was set and ready for whatever came his way.

Kobe suggests setting aside just 5 minutes of quiet, mindful time each day to listen to your inner self. Sit in silence and allow your thoughts to come forward, and when they do, just observe them. We spend so much time observing everything around us, but we don’t take the time to slow down and observe what is inside of us.

Kobe learned about mindfulness and meditation from his coach, Phil Jackson. Before leading Kobe and the Lakers to 5 NBA Championships, Coach Jackson led Michael Jordan and the Chicago Bulls to 6 total NBA Championships. Coach Jackson was big on mindfulness and meditation, and he regularly made the team sit silently in the dark while focusing on their inner thoughts. Kobe said this helped them play with poise in hostile and stressful situations. The pressure didn’t affect him and his teammates because they never got too high or too low; meditating helped them stay in the moment and feel very secure in who they were.

Week 38 Devo | Take Up Your Cross

When I was in college, I HATED pre-season conditioning. I am not a great runner, and the timed mile was the foundation of our conditioning program.

We also did this thing called ‘Ladders.’ We would run 1 sprint, then we would jog back. Then we would run 3 sprints, and jog back. Next was 5 sprints, then 7, then 9, then 11, and finally, we would run 13 sprints and jog back. After that, we worked our way back down, running 11, then 9, then 7, then 5, then 3, and finally finishing with 1 last sprint.

Before we did the ladder, we would do a timed, half-mile warm-up, and after the ladder, we would do a timed, half-mile cool-down.

Those days were HARD. But halfway through my freshman year, I realized something: the conditioning was getting easier and easier, and I was starting to feel stronger and stronger physically and mentally. I then started to attack the workouts. My mantra became, “Beat the workouts; don’t let the workouts beat you.” I wasn’t the fastest, but I would push myself to run with the fast group. It was mental as much as physical.

In life, we must learn how to do hard things.

In Matthew 16, Jesus began telling his disciples that He must go to Jerusalem and suffer many hard things and that He would eventually be killed and raised on the 3^rd day (Matthew 16:21). Jesus’s disciple Peter took Him aside and began to rebuke Him, saying, “Far be it from You, Lord; this shall not happen to You!”

But Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men (Matthew 16:22-23).”

Jesus knew that suffering was a part of the human experience, and He modeled for us how to suffer while still loving others, blessing others, and serving others.

Jesus then said to them:

“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul? For the Son of Man is going to come in his Father’s glory with his angels, and then he will reward each person according to what they have done."

Jesus told his disciples that in this world, we will have troubles (John 16:33). The devil is real, and he comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. But He also said, "I have said these things so that you may have peace," and, "take heart; I have overcome the world. We can defeat the devil by taking up our cross and following Jesus. When we do that, we will be rewarded for what we have done.

Pray daily, read the Bible daily, and look for ways to love, serve, and bless others. Take some time each day to go in peace and think about Jesus, God, and the plans that He has for you. Go by yourself to a quiet place and allow God to speak to you and through you. Find ways to attack the day through the strength of God, knowing that the devil will be there to try to attack you back.

THIS WEEK

1 – Pray every day, read a Bible verse or chapter every day, and find time to sit in peace with God every day.

2 – What is one thing or obstacle that you are struggling with?

3 – Sit in peace and quiet for a few minutes and ask God to speak to you and help you.

4 – Is there a Bible verse or inspirational story that you can lean on when you are struggling?

My go-to verse is: The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly (John 10:10). Another go-to is: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28).

For a Google doc version of this devo, click here: Take Up Your Cross

True Confidence is Quiet - Insecurity is LOUD

Do you ever feel anxious or afraid that you are falling behind when you aren't working out? Author and runner Steve Magness writes that this anxiety and fear is common in all types of high performers.

Buddy Edelmen was an American runner who became the first man to run a marathon faster than 2 hours and 15 minutes, and he represented the U.S. in the 1964 Summer Olympics. Magness writes that Buddy was so meticulous with his training, fitness, and diet that he would record his heart rate and how many hours he had slept every morning, he tracked his weight, his workouts, and how he felt after completing them. He would then send off all his data and notes to his coach who would give comments and suggestions on how he could improve.

While his dedication and meticulousness helped him break records, it also might have held him back. Edelen's trainer told him that he need to take more time to rest, but Edelen told Sports Illustrated in 1964, "If I rest a day or two after doing this tremendous amount of exercise, I feel very irritable and nervous. Training gives me a feeling of tranquility."

So often we fear that if we aren't training, working, or doing something, we are falling behind. This fear is quite common in all types of high performers, and doubts and insecurities are part of the human experience.

Even the best in the world at what they do struggle with confidence, and when we don't have confidence, our doubts, worries, and insecurities have more room to grow.

But where does confidence come from, and how do we develop it?

Magness writes that we need a new approach to building confidence, one focused on the inside.

When our confidence is low, our toolbox shrinks.

Confidence is a filter that affects how we see the obstacles and challenges that are in our way, and our ability to handle them. The foundation of true confidence is reality, which is why saying, "Faking it until you make it," can both help and hurt. True confidence comes from doing the work and being good enough. You can fake it, but if you aren't doing the real work to grow and get better, you will never make it.

Magness says that the first step to developing inner confidence is to Raise Your Floor.

Lower the Bar. Raise the Floor

I knew a top-15 high school college basketball player whose goal was to grow into becoming a top-5 basketball player in the country. I asked his dad what their plan was, and he said the number one thing his son had to do was to become more consistent. He said everyone in the top 50 of his class could score 50 points in one game, but he said the best of the best score 23 points EVERY GAME. Great athletes have explosive potential to do amazing things, but the best show up every day, and you know what they are going to give you.

The best of the best are the best because they are consistent and reliable. They show up every day and give what they are expected to give.

He said the number one thing they were working on doing was raising his floor. Every night, he would go from scoring 18 points per game to 23 points per game. 5 points is an extra layup each half and a free throw. He said that he could easily do that by increasing his son's focus, effort, and energy. He had to lock in and become the type of hungry and engaged athlete that would work the entire time he was on the court, and that would lead to the 5 extra points.

He was good enough to do this; he didn't really need to increase his performance skills. He had to increase his character skills, like work ethic, focus, and effort. 

So often, we judge ourselves by our best performance, but that isn't really sustainable. You can't set a personal record EVERY game. Instead, try to determine a standard of performance that is high but repeatable, and work hard to hit that mark every time. 

Aim to be consistent. Don't lower your expectations, but aim for improving your best average. Know what you are capable of, and aim to hit that mark every time. In doing so, you will develop confidence in yourself because you know exactly what you bring, and you will free yourself up to take smart risks when it's time.

For more, check out Steve Magness's book, Do Hard Things!

We Don't Seperate

Brett Ledbetter is an author and speaker who works with some of the best athletes, coaches, and programs in the country developing character and championship cultures.

He works regularly with the Gonzaga men's basketball team on what they call PGMs - Personal Growth Meetings. The goal of these meetings is to use engaging quotes and videos to lead discussions about goals, standards, and adversity, discussions on how to develop championship character, and discussions on how to develop championship cultures.

In one meeting, he told the Gonzaga team a story about how when he worked with the 2016 Florida Gator softball team, their senior leaders wanted their mantra for the year to be 'Brick by Brick,' 

When the athletes at Florida told him that, Brett showed the team an outstanding Ted Talk by Margaret Heffernan. The quote that stood out to him the most was:

"What motivates people are the bonds and loyalty and trust they develop between each other. What matters is the mortar, not just the bricks.” 

ESPN later asked one of the Florida senior leaders, "What does your team need to do to 3-peat?" She said, "We have to unite," so they combined the ideas of mortar and unite. 

In a later meeting, the Florida coach gave every athlete a brick. On one side of the brick, they wrote their name, and on the other side, they wrote one word that they were going to bring to the team. Brett said that it was an emotional moment for the team because everyone cared for each other.

Their coach then asked the team to build a wall, and he asked a senior to push over the wall, and the wall collapsed. The coach asked the team, "When we get knocked down, do we separate?"

They then built the wall a second time, but this time, they learned how to make mortar to strengthen the wall so that when it was knocked down, the bricks wouldn’t separate. The seniors put their bricks on the top because they had been there the longest, they had invested the most, and they had the most to lose.

After they built the wall, it stayed in the locker room as a visual cue: 

“When we get knocked, we don't separate. Our mortar connects us; we don't separate."

ASK YOURSELVES:

1 - What is our mortar? What is the thing that connects us? What is the thing that keeps our team from separating when we fall?

Mamba Mondays | Ask Questions

Author Daniel Coyle the author of The Culture Code, one of the best coaching books I have ever read, says, “The world we live in is a learning contest. The world we live in is not an execution contest, and it’s not a confident contest. The world we live in is a learning contest. What helps you with learning? Continually ask, who else can help us, what else is coming around the corner, and how can we get a little bit better today.”

Kobe Bryant was known for being very curious and he tried to learn from everybody. In the middle of a game, he asked Michael Jordan how he shot his fadeaway. Before an all-star game, he asked defensive legend Gary Payton how to play better defense. In the off-season, he asked post player Hakeem Olajuwon to help him with his footwork in the post.

If you could help him get better. Kobe would work with you, and he wasn’t afraid or embarrassed to ask for help.

In his book, The Mamba Mentality, Kobe wrote:

“I asked a ton of questions. I was curious. I wanted to improve, learn, and fill my head with the history of the game. No matter who I was with—a coach, hall of famer, teammate—and no matter the situation—game, practice, vacation—I would fire away with question after question.

A lot of people appreciated my curiosity and passion. They appreciated that I wasn’t just asking to ask, I was genuinely thirsty to hear their answers and glean new info. Some people, meanwhile, were less understanding and gracious. That was fine with me. My approach always was that I’d rather risk embarrassment now than be embarrassed later, when I’ve won zero titles.”

The best of the best want to learn. They are curious. They see life as a learning contest.

THIS WEEK

1 - Who is something that you want to learn from, and what is something you want to learn from them?

Week 37 Devo | Be an Elite Communicator

The best athletes, the best teammates, and the best leaders are the best communicators.

Communication, or the lack of communication, can make or break a team or success. A great communicator can inspire others to work hard and stay focused. Great communication keeps everybody connected and focused through the good times and through adversity.

It’s easy being a positive, happy, and connected teammate when things are going good, but a true test of character and leadership is what you say when things get tough. When adversity hits, weak teams separate and strong teams come together and fight together. When times get tough, every team needs one person to step up and provide a strong, positive voice.

But how do you communicate positively when everything around you is negative?

The answer to that question is a major key to leadership and being a great communicator.

In Matthew 15, Jesus was being questioned by some Pharisees and other religious teachers, when a crowd came. Among other things, Jesus said to them all, “Listen and try to understand. It’s not what goes into your mouth that defiles you; you are defiled by the words that come out of your mouth.”

Life is full of negative experiences, thoughts, and feelings, and research shows that we feel negativity stronger and more often than positivity. As much as we can try to control our thoughts and what comes in, we feel what we feel and we have to learn how to manage our thoughts and feelings. 

What we can control is what comes out of our mouths. Think about and monitor what you say. Is it more positive or more negative? Do you inspire or motivate people? Do you bring value to your team and do you make others better?

What comes in to our minds and hearts isn’t always positive; it’s not something we can always control. But we can control what comes out and the things we say.

THIS WEEK

1 - Think about what you are thinking about, and monitor what you say. Are your thoughts and words more positive or negative?

2 - When is it easier to be positive, think positively, and say positive things? When is it harder?

3 - What can you do to make sure you are a positive, effective communicator through the good and bad times?

Faking it until you make it is a great start. Faking it until you become it is a great finish. Sometimes you have to tell yourself things will be alright before you really start to believe it, but you have to start somewhere.

I pray that I can be a great communicator. I know that everything that happens isn’t positive because I can’t control everything, but I do have control over everything I say. I pray that what comes out of my mouth is positive, uplifting, brings people together, and adds value.

For a Google doc version of this, click here: Be an Elite Communicator

Learning Is Addicting

Martha Burns is an adjunct professor at Northwestern University. She says, "Our goal as teachers is to get our students addicted to learning." Learning something new releases a chemical in our brain called dopamine that activates the same brain reward areas as drugs and gambling.

While drugs and gambling are artificial triggers and lead to severe consequences, the dopamine that comes from learning something new and exciting is a much healthier and more rewarding way to feel good.

Dopamine also helps us retain new information. When dopamine is present, we remember things better, and when it's not, nothing seems to stick.

Help your students and athletes release the dopamine needed to learn and retain information by bringing energy and enthusiasm to everything you do, and making new information exciting. You can hook your students and athletes in by teaching them something new they can use quickly.

Remember - dopamine can be addictive, and our goal as teachers and coaches is to get our students and athletes addicted to learning and getting better.

Mamba Mondays | I Could Run All Day

One of the most common types of questions that I get from athletes and their parents are, “What should do for training?”

Everyone wants to know what kind of workouts they should do to get better. My first and second questions are usually, “What do you do in the games?” and, “What part of your game do you need to work on?”

In his book, “The Mamba Mentality,” Kobe Bryant talked about his workout routine:

“I would start off short and work on my touch. Always. Always. Always. Get my muscle memory firing. Then, I’d move back, work for a bit, move back again, and repeat the same process. After that, I’d start working on situational looks that I was going to get that night. I’d walk my body through the scouting report, and remind it of things it had done thousands and thousands of times before.

I never had a set routine, an ironclad formula that I practiced night after night. I listened to my body and let it inform my warmup, because there are always variables. If I felt the need to shoot extra jumpers, I’d shoot more. If I felt the need to meditate, I’d meditate. If I felt the need to stretch for a longer duration, I’d stretch. And if I felt the need to rest, I’d sleep. I always listened to my body. That’s the best advice I can give: listen to your body, and warm up with purpose.”

He then said this about being in shape:

“If you want to be a great basketball player, you have to be in great shape. Everyone talks about the fancy workouts and training sessions, but I also worked relentlessly to make sure that my legs and lungs were always at peak performance.

“My cardio workouts centered around recovery—that is, the time it takes to recover in between sprints. The reason I placed an acute focus on that element is because basketball dictates short bursts where you run as fast as you can, then have a moment to recover, then burst again. I wanted to make sure that I would always be ready for the next burst of action. 

Specifically, I did a lot of timed work on the track where I would incrementally decrease the amount of time between each set until, after a full off-season, my recovery time would be almost nil.”

1 - Start in close and work your way out to build your muscle memory.

2 - Listen to your body and work what you feel like you need to work on.

3 - Be in great ‘game shape’ by focusing on your recovery.

Week 36 Devo | WHAT IS TOUGHNESS

Steve Magness, a performance coach who was once the fastest distance runner in the country, says that athletes, coaches, and parents think that the way to develop discipline and toughness is to take what they think is the Navy SEALS approach, which is, 'Put people in some really difficult situations and then they'll get really tough,' but that's not really what the Navy SEALS do. Before they go out and do all the crazy stuff like survival training, Navy SEALS recruits sit in a classroom and have lecture after lecture and Powerpoint after Powerpoint learning how to mentally and physically handle every situation they will face. They even have to study a 600-page book that teaches mental toughness skills.

After they are taught the skills that they need to survive, they then practice those skills by being put in a place that simulates what they will feel like and experience so they can try those skills out to see if they are able to access those skills under pressure and duress. 

We don't create toughness by just grinding through things, by showing no pain, and by showing no signs of weakness. Even the best athletes in the world will tell you that even in the middle of great performances, they sometimes want to quit, that doubt circles their minds, and they have to constantly navigate this swirl of feelings, doubts, and urges to quit. This is normal because we are human beings.

We create toughness by learning the coping skills needed to handle tough situations, then we practice those skills over and over again. With each test, we get to learn more about toughness and what we need to do to manage our thoughts and actions in a tough way. Each test is an opportunity to learn, grow, and become tougher.

One of my favorite Bible stories is a story about doubt when faced with a storm. In Matthew 14, Jesus heard about the beheading of John the Baptist, and he went to a deserted place by Himself to be alone, but many people followed Him and Jesus had compassion for them and healed their sick. When it got late, Jesus took five loaves of bread and two fish, looked up to heaven, and blessed them. He and His disciples ended up feeding over 5,000 people with just those 5 loaves of bread and two fish before it got too late.

After feeding the people, Jesus went by himself to pray, leaving his disciples on a boat by themselves to cross back over to the other side of the lake. In the middle of the night, a storm came and the disciples were fighting the waves in the boat. Jesus went to them, walking on the water in the middle of the storm. When the disciples saw Him, they were terrified because they thought it was a ghost.

Jesus told them, "Don't be afraid. Take courage. I am here!" Then Peter called to Jesus and said, "Lord, if it's really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water. Jesus said to him, "Yes, come," and Peter walked on the water toward Jesus.

But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. Peter shouted, "Save me, Lord!" Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. Jesus said, "You have so little faith. Why did you doubt me?"

Doubt, fear, anxiety, and worry are natural, human feelings. We all feel them to some degree. One of the keys to being tough is to accept those feelings and not fight them. It is okay to feel unsure. The key is figuring out ways to maintain clarity when everything around you is pushing you towards chaos. When you are put in situations that require toughness, don't try to just bulldoze through; try to navigate them with grit and grace. Don't jump to the quickest, easiest solution, which in Paul's case, led him to start drowning. Focus on the end game. Focus on your goals, and who you want to become, and think about the thing that you can do right now. Focus on making and taking the next best step.

But most importantly, focus on Jesus. He came and experienced life on earth so that we can have a model of how we are supposed to live. When He died on the cross, He gave us all the gift of the Holy Spirit. That gift lives within us. If we focus on that, we will have the power to defeat doubt, fear, and anxiety.

There are a lot of reasons for us to quit, doubt ourselves, and give in, but have faith in yourself and faith in God. God has great plans for us all. His plans are to prosper us, and not to harm us, plans to give us hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28).

If we abide in Him, pray constantly, and strive each and every day to do the right thing, to be good people, and bless and serve others, our joy may be made full (John 15:11), and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard our hearts and minds through Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6).

THIS WEEK

1 - When do you feel the most confidence?

2 - When is it hard for you to feel confident?

3 - When you feel fear, doubt, or worry, what are some of the things you do to overcome that?

4 - What is a Bible verse or story that you can use to overcome fear, doubt, and worry so that you can find and feel confident?

For a Google doc version of this devo, click here: What is Toughness

Permission to Win - Permission to Dream

Greatness doesn’t require great conditions, but it does require a great mindset and great belief in yourself. The sports world is full of people who have had to overcome a lot of fears, doubts, and anxiety to become successful, and the most important things we can give our students and athletes is a positive self-image and the confidence to try, fail and try again.

Author and sports psychologist Gary Mack wrote, "Limits begin where vision ends, and humans are the only species that get in the way of their own growth." He also said most of the work he does is to "stretch," not "shrink" the athletes he works with. We need to help our athletes stretch and expand their comfort zones by encouraging them to take risks and giving them the tools and support they need to be successful. 

We also need to help them see themselves as success stories waiting to happen. If you can't see yourself succeeding, or if you don't feel like you deserve to win, you probably won't, and worse, you run the risk of sabotaging yourself.

We all have a comfort zone that we want to be in, but greatness happens outside of our comfort zone. But when some people jump out of their comfort zone too fast, cognitive dissonance can creep in and pull them back in in a negative way.

In psychology, cognitive dissonance is when how you see yourself and what is actually happening comes into conflict.

Here are some examples of cognitive dissonance in action:

• You feel guilty because you want to be in the best shape you can for the start of the season, but instead of working out, you hang out with friends.
• You want to make the all-district or all-tournament team, but you don't put in any work before or after practice. You rationalize this by saying you just don't have the time.
• You would like to make the varsity team, but you spend more time on your phone than working on your game, and you later regret your choices when you don't make the team. You want to have an excuse, so you tell everybody that you worked hard all summer but the coach doesn't like you.
• You have been put in a new leadership role, but you feel anxious because you don't feel like you deserve it.
• You believe you are motivating your athletes, but you are really bringing them down and telling them things that make them feel more anxious, nervous, or fearful.

Cognitive dissonance doesn't have to be a bad thing. It can prompt you to make positive changes when you realize what you want, believe, and do aren't matching.

Just don't rationalize or make excuses for your behavior once you see that a change needs to be made.

When you feel like you are experiencing cognitive dissonance, ask yourself a few questions:

• What thoughts, beliefs, and actions are NOT matching?
• What actions or changes do I need to make or take to eliminate that dissonance?
• Do I need to change my actions or my mindset or beliefs?

Being more aware of how your thoughts, actions, and beliefs fit together can help you better understand what is really important to you, and help you make better, healthier choices.

Sometimes our fear of success is really driven by a fear of failure at the next level.

In order to sustain success, you have to believe in yourself and in your ability to succeed, and in order for our athletes to believe in themselves, they need someone who sees the world of potential bubbling inside of them to give them the permission to try, the permission to fail, and the permission to win.

References:

- What is Cognitive Dissonance

- 5 Everyday Examples of Cognitive Dissonance