Week 9 Devotional | Be a Good Person and Do Good Things

Competition can bring out the best in people and the worst in people. Everyone loves a good rivalry because it's intense and exciting. Great opponents bring the best out of us. They push us harder and farther than we can push ourselves. They force us to rise to the occasion. It is important to appreciate and respect our opponents because they push us to be the best that we can be.

And it's important to remember that even in the middle of the toughest battles if you are a follower of Jesus, and to do as Jesus did. You can be the fiercest competitor and still be a good person.

BE A GOOD PERSON AND DO GOOD THINGS

Goodness is defined as the quality of being morally good or virtuous, but goodness is more than being a nice, kind, and polite model citizen. Goodness is an excellence of character that actively and intentionally works from the inside out and is seen and felt by everyone that you come in contact with. Goodness is about being a good person, but it is also about being a good, hardworking, mentally tough athlete who trains and competes to win.

God calls us to be filled with goodness and to be holy, righteous, and pure in what we do so that through us, others can see the goodness of Jesus.

It hurts my heart when I see teams divided because of rivalries between teammates. We should always strive to be the best teammates that we can be. Good teams have good athletes and great teammates, but often the competition between teammates overshadows the importance of being good people.

You can always choose goodness. Even if the people around you aren't being good to you, you can always choose to be a good person. You can always choose to let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven (Matthew 5:16).

Remember that even Jesus was rejected. He was criticized for the people he spent time with and some of the things that He said and did, but He never stopped being a good person and servant leader, and He never let the words or actions of others affect His mission and purpose. Jesus's goal was to reach and save as many people as possible by casting a wide net and inviting anybody who will listen into His kingdom.

In Matthew 13:47-50, Jesus shares with his disciples The Parable of the Net:

"Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net that was thrown into the sea and caught fish of every kind; when it was full, they drew it ashore, sat down, and put the good into baskets but threw out the bad. So it will be at the end of age. The Angels will come out and separate the evil from the righteous and throw them in the furnace of fire, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Live a good life so that you will be chosen and put in the good basket. Jesus also said, "You will know them by their fruits. Every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Therefore by their fruits you will know them (Matthew 7:15-20).

Don't work to be a good athlete and forget to be a good person, but don't be so focused on being a good person that you don't grow as an athlete. Strive to be as good as you can be in sports and in life.

And whatever you do, work at it with all of your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving (Colossians 3:23-24).

Be a good person, do good things, and live a good life.

This Week

1 - What is one thing that you want to be known as being good at?

2 - What is one way that you focus on being good to others?

3 - In life, we often have to deal with people who aren't good to us or good for us. How do you focus on being good and doing good when the people around you aren't?

4 - Do you have a Bible verse or quote that you can lean on when there is not a lot of good around you?

5 Bible Verses About Goodness

1 - Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. - Matthew 6:16

2 - "You will know them by their fruits. Every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Therefore by their fruits you will know them. - Matthew 7:15-20

3 - Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. - Ephesians 4:32

4 - Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. - Romans 12:21

5 - For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. - 2 Peter 1:5-7

For a Google doc version, click here: Week 9 Devo | Goodness

De-Escalation - Managing Conflict

At the end of a conference basketball game, Michigan head coach Juwan Howard and Wisconsin head coach Greg Gard walked towards each other, seemingly to give a post-game handshake.

When Coach Howard walked close to Coach Gard in the handshake line, Coach Howard said something and continued to walk by. Coach Gard then grabbed Coach Howard, and he stood in his way, not allowing him to keep walking. They grabbed each other, exchanged words, and Coach Howard put his finger in Coach Gard’s face. The other coaches, players, and police tried to get in between the two coaches, but the situation continued to escalate until Coach Howard slapped one of Wisconsin’s assistant coaches.

Sports are intense, and at that level, millions of dollars are on the line. It is easy to understand how two competitors can get so intense. We teach our athletes to play through the final buzzer, so we have to coach them through the final buzzer. Sometimes that coaching leads to disagreements and frustration, but as leaders, we have to do everything that we can to de-escalate the situation so that it doesn’t become physical.

WHAT IS DE-ESCALATION?

De-escalation is a strategy or technique that can be used when confronted with violent or aggressive emotions or behaviors. Escalation means to increase or intensify, and de-escalation means to decrease the scope or intensity of a situation. The goal of de-escalation strategies is to prevent an escalation of conflict.

Coach Howard was obviously upset when Coach Gard stopped him, and they both escalated or increased their intensity to the point where Coach Howard’s actions became physical.

While they usually don’t turn physical, the escalation of actions, emotions, and reactions are common in sports and life. In school, teachers often have to practice conflict resolution with their students. When students are involved in a conflict that escalates, it is important to de-escalate them so that they can start to listen and respond appropriately, and before you can start the process of restoring the relationship.

The same process is needed when a parent is upset with something. When they call or visit the school and they are escalated, it is important to de-escalate them effectively so that you can begin to work together in providing the best learning environment for their kids.

De-escalation training is especially important for coaches because conflict is such a prevalent part of the job. Anytime you have two people competing, there is a possibility of conflict. There is also a possibility for conflict any time you are pushing someone out of their comfort zone. Conflict is either going to escalate or de-escalate. The ability to de-escalate yourself and others can impact winning, relationships, and job security.

WHY DE-ESCALATION

There is some neural science behind the need to de-escalate. In every brain, there are two almond-shaped clusters of cells called an amygdala. Our amygdala helps our brains define and regulate our emotions. In The Culture Code, Daniel Coyle writes that our amygdala is both our brain's guard dog and its watchdog. When we sense a threat, like being yelled at by a classmate, teammate, or coach, or being grabbed in the handshake line, or get a message that something has happened to our kid at school, the amygdala pulls the alarm code in our brains, setting off a fight-flight-or freeze response that sends chemicals flooding through our body. When these signals go off, the only question we can answer is, ‘Am I safe.’ This is why some people shut down when they get coached too hard or are under pressure, why some fight back harder, and why some people run from pressure (or pass up the game-winning shot).

Your brain can’t process information when it is in fight-flight-or-freeze mode. Time and safety are the only ways to bring us back down to normal. Fighting fire with fire leads to more fire. Two storms coming together creates a bigger storm.

When we feel safe, valued, and like we belong, our amygdala shifts to our watchdog. It wants to build and sustain meaningful social connections, so it seeks that in others. It seeks positive relationships, which is why building team chemistry and culture are so important; your brain and body crave it.

But conflict is a part of life and a part of every relationship. You don’t have to fear conflict. You do need to have the skills necessary to de-escalate conflict.

HOW TO DE-ESCALATE
4 Key Strategies that can help you calm your amygdala and deescalate yourself are:

1 - Validate, Validate, Validate
2 - Identify What Sets You Off
3 - Label Your Feelings
4 - Create an Early Warning System

Validate, Validate, Validate Validating someone is NOT telling them that they are right or wrong, it is simply recognizing how they feel. Taking a second to let them know that you hear them and see where they are coming from is an effective first step to de-escalating them. They might be right or wrong with their actions, but no one is right or wrong based on how they feel. So often, people just want to be seen and heard, and validation does this and helps them regain control.

Saying, “I hear you,” can go a long way.

Identify What Sets You Off Sometimes you walk into a situation knowing that there is a good chance you are going to get escalated. I know that a player backing down from a loose ball triggers me. I also know that inconsistency from the referees, especially in crunch-time moments, really sets me off. I am a pretty calm coach, but I do have my triggers, and being aware of them and being able to anticipate them helps me stay calm because I can prepare myself and calm myself at the first signs of being triggered. Knowing what triggers me keeps me from taking the bait.

Affect labeling, or defining what is bothering you, helps reduce its intensity and brings you back down to normal. Just saying to yourself what is happening, like, "It makes me feel angry when my team doesn’t box out," or, "I get so frustrated when they don't get back on defense, or, "My wife is trying to trigger me right now because she won’t stop bothering me about finishing my laundry," helps you reframe your thoughts and reduce the impact, and it takes you from being the lead actor in a horror film that ends with you going off the deep end with your team (or wife) and puts you in the role of director where you can regain control of the situation and extinguish the fire instead of adding to the flames.

Create an Early Warning System Once you start recognizing your triggers, you will begin to notice your physical reactions to them. If you notice your body getting hot, your jaw tightening, or for me - the feeling of blood rushing to my head and my fists balled up, that is a cue to take a step back, power down, and regroup. Taking just 10 seconds before you react can save you from a lot of trouble, and after 90 seconds, you can get to a complete emotional reset because that is how much time it takes stress hormones to leave your body after they have been activated.

The S.O.D.A. Strategy is a simple and effective strategy to use when you are triggered and escalating:

Stop - Stop and pause instead of reacting and taking the bait. The first 10 seconds is the key. That is the amount of time it takes stress hormones to move through the body to your brain (prefrontal cortex).

Observe - Use the 10-second rule so that you can power down, respond (not react), and extinguish the fire.

Detach - Detach from trying to be right and focus more on trying to get it right. This requires listening to the other person, seeing what they see, and working with - not against - them. Remember that your body can emotionally reset in just 90 seconds.

Awaken - Shift your focus from yourself to the other person. When our amygdala (the brain's guard dog) reacts, it is because we are trying to protect ourselves. But from what? When you start thinking about the wants and needs of others, you realize that they might not know or understand what is going on, that they might be scared or reacting out of fear, or they might need more clarification. Or they might just be upset, defiant, and belligerent, and that warrants a different response, a different set of tools (and possibly a different blog post).

Remember that emotions and body language are contagious. Use a calm voice, slow down, and start calm so that will help everybody power down and reset emotionally. I heard a speaker tell a group of teachers that a phrase that he used at a middle school campus when kids started escalating was, "Don't go 13." We have to be leaders and professionals. We can’t do that when we act like the kids.

This week, start thinking about the things that trigger you, how you can see them coming, and how you can de-escalate so that you can respond to conflict appropriately and effectively and without biting someone's head off.

Reflection Questions

1 - What is one thing that triggers you?
2 - How does your body start to feel and react when it gets triggered?
3 - What do you do, or can you do, to get back to normal?
4 - Do you have a person that you can go to for help de-escalating?

A lot of the knowledge that was shared here, including the S.O.D.A method can be found in the wonderful book, Culturally Responsive Teaching & The Brain by Zaretta Hammond.

The Culture Code by Daniel Coyle was also referenced in this article.

WEEK 8 | Choose Kindness

Great teams need great teammates. A great teammate makes the team and the locker room better because they bring positive energy, and because they encourage, motivate, and build up their teammates (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

A great teammate is also kind. A great teammate is tough and competitive, but they are kind and make their teammates feel like they belong, valued, and safe.

Kindness is serving and blessing others so that you can contribute to their joy, peace, and happiness. Kindness is a lifestyle, a choice, and a daily practice.

BEING A GREAT TEAMMATE should be a goal of every athlete playing team sports and the goal of every parent for their young athletes.  One of the positive side effects of team sports is learning how to work with and compete with others.  This is a skill that will stick with you for the rest of your life.

Make it a goal to be the BEST teammate on the team.  Make it a goal to bring positive energy to every practice and every game.  Make it a goal to push your teammates so that they can be the best that they can be, and make it a goal to pull them along by encouraging them and being kind to them.

This can be hard, especially when you have teammates that don’t always treat you right. It is hard when your teammates aren’t being kind, motivating, or encouraging to you. It can be extremely hard when you feel like your teammates aren’t making you feel like you belong, or when they don’t include you or share the ball with you.

But know who you want to be and why, and stick to your core value system no matter what is going on around you, and you will be rewarded.

In Luke, Jesus told a local lawyer the story of a man who was attacked by robbers on his way to a town called Jericho. The robbers beat the man, took his clothes, and left him there half-dead. A priest was walking by and saw the man half-dead and hurting. Instead of stopping to help the man, the priest passed him on the other side of the road. Another man, a Levite, did the same. Levites were descendants of the Tribe of Levi. They served different roles in the churches and temples, so like a priest, you would think that they would help a man in need. 

Later, a Samaritan man walked by and felt sorry for the man who was beaten. The Samaritan cleaned up and bandaged his wounds and took him to an inn and took care of him.

Jesus asked the lawyer, “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?” The lawyer replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”

Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”

Choosing kindness is not always easy. Some people are just mean, angry, and hateful. Some teammates don’t like us and don’t want to play with us. That is okay. You can only control what you can control.

In the Old Testament, Joseph was not treated very kindly at all by his brothers. They sold him into slavery. But Joseph trusted God and his plan, and he eventually became the second-highest person in all of Egypt. When he later found his brothers, he could have done anything to him, but he chose to be kind and help them.

Never let loyalty and kindness leave you. Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. Then you will find favor with both God and people, and you will earn a good reputation. Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do,  and he will show you which path to take (Proverbs 3:3-6).

Trusting God will always lead you down the best path. When you are confident in who God made you to be, you can trust Him with your life.

Choosing kindness is not always the easiest or the most popular choice to make, but the Bible promises it will always lead you to the best outcome.

THIS WEEK

1 - What is one time when being kind has helped you, helped someone else, or made you feel better about yourself or life?

2 - When is it easiest to choose kindness?

3 - When is choosing kindness hard?

4 - When being kind is hard, what can you do or what Bible verse can you lean on to overcome that barrier and choose kindness?

5 BIBLE VERSES ABOUT BEING KIND

1 - Never let loyalty and kindness leave you. Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. Then you will find favor with both God and people, and you will earn a good reputation. Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do,  and he will show you which path to take
- Proverbs 3:3-6

2 - But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil.
- Luke 6:35

3 - Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
- Colossians 3:12-13

4 - So then, as we have the opportunity, let us do good to everyone.
- Galatians 6:10 

5 - Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing.
- 1 Peter 3:8-9

For a Google doc version of this devo, click here: Week 8 | Choose Kindness

Your Inner Circle

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn once said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.

Research shows that our relationships are the greatest indicator of success, well-being, and happiness.

The strengths of our relationship are a greater success indicator than wealth and fame. People who are deeply connected to someone or to a group or community but have unhealthy habits (like smoking and alcohol) consistently outlive people who have extremely healthy habits but are not relationally connected to any group.

The quality of your life is always going to be a direct reflection of the quality of your relationships.

We are all born with the need for relationships and strong social connections. Great relationships help us feel happier, more hopeful, and healthier.

Who are you connected to? I heard a preacher once say that the life and relationships of Jesus are a great example of the relationships we should seek.

Everywhere Jesus went, large crowds followed. By the end of Jesus's life, there were about 120 people who walked around with him. This is called His Outer Circle of Care. These are the people he cared for, blessed, fed, served, and healed. Many of these people were unbelieving people that Jesus was trying to bring into the Kingdom of God.

You will probably have between 100-120 people in your life that you know and that you care about. You hope that good things happen to them.

But Jesus had 12 disciples with whom he worked closely. These 12 apostles were in Jesus's Circle of Influence. They followed Him and wanted to have their lives conformed to the image of Christ. These are the people who were greatly helped by Jesus and who helped Jesus.

At any point in our lives, we have 10-12 people who we call friends. We influence each other, so these people need to be people who are going to help you become the person you want to become and live the life you want to live. They need to be positive influences on who you are and what you do. They need to bring value, not take value. They need to deposit into you and in your life and not take away from you.

Among Jesus's 12 disciples, there were only 3 that were in His Inner Circle of Intimacy. Peter, James, and John went with Jesus wherever He went. They were with Jesus in the Garden of Gethesmane and saw Jesus pray so hard that He sweat blood. They saw all of Jesus, all of His heart, and everything about Him. Nothing was hidden from them.

In your life, there are 3 to 5 people that you will let in this closely. There are 3 to 5 people that you let in your life at the deepest levels, and these 3 to 5 people will directly affect who you are, what you do, and the life you live.

We all have something in life that we want to become. The people in our Inner Circle of Intimacy will affect the trajectory of our lives more than anything else, so make sure that those 3 to 5 people share your values and will hold you accountable to your values.

Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm. 

Whoever walks with successful people will become successful.

Whoever walks with people who make excuses and live with a victim mentality becomes someone who makes excuses and lives with a victim mentality.

Whoever walks with people who have a winner's mentality and find a way to win becomes someone who has a winner's mentality and finds a way to win.

Whoever walks with winners becomes a winner.

The number one way to change your life is to decide to change the people you spend the most time with.

You are one great relationship and community away from changing your life forever. Change your community, and you can change your life.

Week 6 | Every Success Story Has Some Patience

Usain Bolt is the fastest man who ever lived. He holds the world records in both the 100m and 200m sprints, and he is also a part of the fastest 4x100 team ever.

It takes vision, purpose, and grit to spend 4 years training for a 9-second race, especially in a world where patience is lacking and when people who don't see results after a month or two give up and quit.

Without vision, the people will perish. 4 years is a long time to train for such a short race. Your vision is what keeps you inspired and motivated to keep training when you don't want to or don't feel like it.

Purpose is why we do what we do. Usain Bolt's purpose was to become the fastest man in the world. Knowing what he wanted to do and why he wanted to do it helped keep him focused through the 4-year journey and grind. Having a meaningful purpose can help you stay focused on the things that matter most to you, it helps prioritize your life, and it helps you walk away from things that don't serve your purpose.

Grit is having the passion and perseverance to do hard things. Training for an Olympic race is a hard, grueling process. It requires a lot of grit to stay on track and to keep pushing yourself, especially when you don't feel like working out.

One more thing that is required to become great is PATIENCE. PATIENCE is just not the ability to wait or to endure something, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting and enduring.

One of the things that separate good athletes from great athletes is their ability to be PATIENT as they continue to work hard for their goals. Bolt had to be PATIENT between his Olympic races but didn't stop working hard.

When athletes or their parents ask how they can become great, I communicate with them that greatness takes time and work. I tell them to honor the 10,000-hour rule. Author Malcolm Gladwell wrote a book where he stated that it takes 10,000 hours to master something. Being willing to spend 10,000 hours doing anything takes having a vision, purpose, grit, and PATIENCE.

There are several stories in the Bible that show the power of being PATIENT. Abraham had to wait 25 years for God to fulfill His promise of giving Abraham a son (Genesis 12:1-9, and 21:1-5). King David had to wait about 15 years from the time he was anointed by Samuel (in 1 Samuel 16) until he officially became a king (in 2 Samuel 5). In those 15 years, David had to run and fight for his life on several occasions.

My favorite Bible story is the story of Joseph. Joseph was treated terribly by his brothers and was sold by them into slavery. His brothers were jealous of Joseph because his father loved him so much and because he had dreams that he would reign over him, and when they sold him into slavery, made their father think that an animal had eaten him.

Joseph was thrown in an Egyptian jail and went through many other hardships, but he worked through it all PATIENTLY and with a good attitude, and after over 13 years, Joseph's PATIENCE was rewarded when he became the second-in-command in all of Egypt, fulfilling his dream and God's promise of reigning over his brothers the entire nation.

No matter what you are going through today, remember that God has plans for you to prosper and plans to give you hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). We will go through trials, trouble, and storms. In this world, we will have tribulation, but we can take heart knowing that Jesus has already overcome the world (John 16:33). As you go through the storms of life and work towards your goals, rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, and be constant in prayer (Romans 12:12).

Through Jesus, we can rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope (Romans 5:2-4).

Have a vision for what you want to do in sports and in life, let your purpose and why you want to do what you want to do be your fuel. Have the grit you need to keep going when the going gets tough, and patiently keep working hard with a good attitude knowing that something good is going to happen to you and through you if you have faith.

THIS WEEK

1 - What does being patient mean to you?

2 - What is one time when being patient worked out well for you?

3 - When is being patient the hardest for you?

4 - What is a thought, quote, Bible verse, or Bible story that you can lean on when you need to feel more patient?

5 BIBLE VERSES ABOUT PATIENCE

1 - The end of something is better than its beginning. Patience is better than pride.
- Ecclesiastes 7:8

2 - You also must be patient. Keep your hopes high, for the day of the Lord's coming is near.
- James 5:8

3 - Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
- Philippians 4:6

4 - Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.
- Romans 12:12

5 - Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.
- Proverbs 14:29

6 - Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
- Galatians 6:9

7 - But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be rewarded.
- 2nd Chronicles 15:7

8 - You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised.
- Hebrews 10:36

For a Google Doc version of this devo, click here: Week 7 | Patience

How Do You Make Them Feel?

People may forget what you said and they may forget what you did, but people won't forget how you made them feel.

Derek Jeter is one of the best baseball players ever. He was a hall of fame captain and shortstop for the Yankees for 20 years and won 5 World Series. He was asked on a podcast, "Which coach had the most influence and impact on you and your game?"

Without hesitation, Jeter answered, "Joe Torre." He said that Coach Torre was the best communicator he has ever known. Jeter also said that Coach Torre didn't treat everyone the same, but he treated everyone fairly. Everyone has a different personality, and we have to meet people where they are and give them what they need if we want to help them become successful.

Jeter also said that Coach Torre had a calming influence that a young player needs. Young players are going to mess up, and when they do, the first thing that they look at is their coach. They want to see what their coach is doing and how he will react. When Jeter would look at Coach Torre, he was always calm, and it made him feel as though he believed in and trusted him.

Our kids will make mistakes. Mistakes are an important part of the learning process. When your kids mess up, how do you make them feel? Do you make them feel more scared or confused, or do you help them feel confident?

How you respond to their mistakes will greatly impact how they learn, grow, and act moving forward.

I can't remember how many points I scored when I played. I don't remember the records of my teams. But I do remember the meaningful moments - positive and negative - and I do remember how my teammates and coaches made me feel.

Those feelings have greatly influenced who I am today, and how we make our students and athletes feel will greatly influence who they are tomorrow.

Mamba Mondays Week 6 | How To Prove Yourself

I am always nervous when I am the new guy. When I join a new team, even as a coach, I get nervous. I start to question myself and ask questions in my mind like, "Will I be good enough," "Will they like me," and "Do I have what it takes?"

I have learned about the value of talking to myself instead of listening to myself.

When I listen to myself, I hear a lot of negative thoughts, fears, and worries and every reason why I won't be good enough, why they won't like me, and why I don't have what it takes.

When I talk to myself, I control the story being told in my head. I can feed myself with the words and encouragement that I need to be successful.

CHOOSE TO FEED YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE THOUGHTS AND YOU WILL HAVE A POSITIVE ATTITUDE AND A POSITIVE LIFE

Kobe Bryant has some great advice for someone new to a team.

He was asked in an interview, "Do you have any advice for somebody joining a new team or for the newest or youngest person on a new team or at a new job?"

Kobe said:

"The best way to prove your value is to work. It is to learn. It is to absorb and be a sponge. But you always want to outwork your potential. As hard as you believe you can work, you can work harder than that."

Kobe also said that he always had a chip on his shoulder, and every day at practice he was trying to annihilate everyone that he was playing against. He wanted to prove that he didn't need a babysitter.

Kobe then said that you need curiosity and he would ask a lot of questions. He would sit down and ask people a lot of questions, and ask why they did the things he did.

1 - Work Ethic
2 - Competitive Nature
3 - Curiosity

These 3 things work in sports and in life. Work hard. Work so hard that you overachieve. Compete. Compete to be the best that you can be. Ask questions. Ask questions about everything because that is how you learn and grow.

If you do those 3 things, you can add value to any team that you are a part of.

Week 6 Devo | Having Peace in the Middle of the Storm

I go into almost every game nervous. That is who I am. It used to really bother me, then I learned that being nervous is normal and natural. It means that I care about what I am doing.

It made me feel even better when I found out that the great Michael Jordan got nervous before games. When he was asked if he got scared before games, Michael said that he is never scared to do things on the basketball court, but he gets nervous because of the challenges that come from playing. MJ says that he has total confidence in his skills and his skills get him comfortable when the game starts, but he is said that he is nervous at the start of pretty much every game.

It is okay to be nervous. Even the best athletes in the world get nervous. We have to find ways to play through our nerves and fear. Babe Ruth once said, "Never let the fear of striking out get in your way." Bear Grylls is known for presenting wilderness TV shows in the UK and the US. He said, "Being brave isn't the absence of fear. Being brave is having that fear but finding a way through it."

Nelson Mandella once said, "I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."

But I made it a goal of mine to have real peace. Peace for me didn't mean that I wouldn't get nervous, and it definitely doesn't mean that bad things aren't going to happen. Peace to me is knowing that nervousness, fear, stress, and anxiety are all parts of the human experience, and I can remain calm, feel calm, and be calm and steady at all times, especially in the middle of storms.

When we let the storms of life take over our peace, it affects how we think, talk, and act. We can't learn, grow, or make great decisions if we don't have peace because our brains go into shutdown mode if it feels like it is being attacked. That is why learning how to have peace in the middle of a storm is one of the most important things that we can learn.

The best part about peace is that if we believe in Jesus, it is already in us.

It is written in the Bible that we will experience trials, troubles, tribulations, and storms, but the peace of God is in us as long as we trust and believe that all things work together for the good of those who believe (John 16:33 and Romans 8:28). Jesus told His disciples, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid (John 14:27)."

Jesus told His disciples these things to keep them from falling away (John 16:1). He knew hard times were coming for them, and he wanted them to be prepared.

One of my favorite Bible stories was when Jesus walked on water (Matthew 14). After feeding the 5,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, Jesus sent his disciples ahead of him in a boat to cross the Sea of Galilee while he went by a mountainside by himself to pray.

Then a storm came and scared the disciples in the boat. To catch up to them, Jesus had to walk across the sea, on the water, to the boat. When he got close to them, their fear turned to terror as they thought Jesus was a ghost.

Jesus immediately said to them, "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."

Peter then asked if he could come to Jesus, and Jesus said, "Come."

Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water, and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"

Immediately, Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said. "Why did you doubt?"

Two things really stick out to me when I read this story. First, when Jesus sent away the disciples, He went by himself to pray. When I feel fear, anxiety, or stress, I need to go by myself and pray more often, like Jesus did.

Second, Peter was able to walk on water because he trusted Jesus, but the second he took his eyes off Jesus and focused on the storm around him, he started to sink. If we place our faith in Jesus, and if we don't doubt that He will take care of us, we can have peace in the middle of the storm.

FOCUS ON JESUS AND NOT THE STORM AND YOU CAN HAVE PEACE.

We will never have life without storms. I don't know if we can fully get rid of human emotions like fear, stress, and anxiety. But we have tools that we can use to bring out the peace that is already in us; the peace that Jesus left for us so our hearts won't be troubled nor afraid (John 14:26-27).

Pray and have faith in Jesus. Know that all things will work together for the good of those who believe (Romans 8:28). God is the God of hope, and if we trust Him, He will fill us with all joy and peace so that it overflows by the power of the Holy Spirit (Romans 15:13 Week 5 Devo | Having Peace in the Middle of the Storm).

What also works for me when I need to feel peace is to write down what I need to do right now or for the day, or write down what is keeping me from experiencing peace. When I write it down, I can see my situation objectively and I can better see what the best next step is for me.

Remember, success is peace of mind that comes from knowing that you did the best you could do, and peace is a gift that Jesus has left us all if we believe and have faith in Him.

This Week

1 - Pray.

Every morning, before you do anything, pray to God in Jesus's name. After Jesus fed the 5,000 and before he walked on water, he went alone to the mountainside and prayed. Jesus said, "You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it." Pray that the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7).

2 - Define Success

Legendary coach John Wooden said, "Success is peace of mind attained only through self-satisfaction and knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming." Know what you need to do to feel successful so that you know what you are working for.

3 - Make a Success List

Every morning, make a list of things that you need to do to have a successful day. Seeing what you need to do and then crossing those things out will help you feel the peace that comes from doing the best that you can. Ask yourself, "What do I need to do today to feel good, to feel successful, or to have peace?"

5 Bible Verses That Will Help You Unlock The Peace Within You

1 - Jesus told His disciples, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid (John 14:27)."

2 - May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit (Romans 15:13).

3 - "Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ (Romans 5:1)."

4 - "Grace, mercy, and peace will be with us, from God the Father and from Jesus Christ the Father's Son, in truth and love (2 John 1:3)."

5 - "And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful (Colossians 3:15)."

6 - "And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7).

For more Bible verses on peace, click here: 20 Comforting Bible Versus About Peace.

For a Google doc version of this devo, click here: Week 5 | Peace

Frank Martin - We Teach and Educate

What do you do when your students or athletes don’t act or respond how you want them to? What do you do when they aren’t living up to your expectations?

What do you do when you need to discipline them or redirect them?

In our school district, we are learning about Restorative Practices and the power of community building and relationship restoring circles.

Restorative practices are a process designed to build and sustain meaningful relationships, and to restore the relationship when it is harmed or damaged.

Frank Martin is an old-school basketball coach, meaning he is tough and disciplined. But even a no-nonsense, old-school coach like Coach Martin can see the importance of being what our kids need, and the importance of teaching, teaching, teaching.

When I was a kid, when you did something wrong, the coach would yell at you and make you run. They would yell at you and run you until you learned your lesson, or until he lost his voice. 

You can’t get away with that today. Today’s kids have too many options, and if you just yell and run some of them without giving them much reason, they are more likely to quit on you, quit on the team, or find another team.

So what does an old-school coach like Frank Martin do when he needs to get his point across? He teaches.

Here is what Coach Martin said he does when there is confusion:

Anytime there is confusion, you don’t help young people by making them more miserable. You help them by educating them. You help them by teaching. 

Every time there is confusion, I don’t make guys run; I teach.

Education is what clears our minds. Education is what gives us confidence. That’s how life works, so we do the same thing on the basketball court. 

It doesn’t mean that we go out there and play patty-cake and high-five each other, but we teach. We get back to what everything in life is all about with young people, which is teaching them.

When you teach somebody, regardless of their age, that person realizes that you don’t care about the score; you care about helping them.

We have more tools now to redirect as teachers and coaches than ever, and we need to use all of those tools to best reach and teach our kids.

Discipline is the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behavior. Training is teaching a person a particular type of behavior or skill.

Discipline means to teach or train. It doesn’t mean yell or run. Yelling and running can be an impactful part of the teaching and training process, but like Frank Martin said, “Anytime there is confusion, you don’t help young people by making them more miserable. You help them by educating them; you help them by teaching.”