Phil Beckner | What the Pros Do Different

Phil Beckner is a college and professional basketball coach who helped train and develop Damian Lillard in college and worked with the Oklahoma City Thunder when they had Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook.

A few years ago, he interviewed with Breakthrough Basketball. He talked about what Lillard did to become an NBA star, what the best players in the world have in common, and how he teaches, or tweaks, shooting the basketball.

How did Damian Lillard go from unknown to becoming an NBA lottery pick, rookie of the year, and all-star?
Damian called me at 11:30 one night and asked, "Phil, what do I have to do to make the NBA?" Beckner told him, "You have to outwork everybody in the country. The guys at Duke, the guys at Kansas - you have to outwork all of them. You have to wake up every single day and not just be the hardest worker at Weber State, but the hardest worker in the country."

He said, "Okay, I'll do it," and because he did, he gave himself a chance to be special.

What did you do with him and what did you work on?

Damian has always had a willingness to work on the things that he wasn't good at and a willingness to work on things that made him uncomfortable. He was willing to do things that other players weren't willing to do. We worked a lot on the basics: footwork, ballhandling, and finishing around the rim. 

The biggest thing that kids need to know is, "Don't steal the drills that you see the pros do, steal the will and what makes them special. Steal their work ethic, steal their discipline, and steal their habits. Then, you can get to their drills.

But with Damian, we worked hard on was pick and roll development. It was me, him, and a trash can, and we would work on pick and roll passing. We would work on the different coverages we would see and the different progressions: get to the basket, shoot a pull-up, shoot behind the screen, then work on the passing out of it. The pick and roll stuff separated him and gave him a chance to be special early.

How have Damian Lillard's workouts changed since he has been in the NBA?

Our philosophy hasn't changed. You have to be great at what you are good at. Every player is going to be good at a couple of things, and you have to sharpen those strengths sometimes and be great at what you are good at. If you try to be great at everything, you end up just being average at everything. We try to improve weaknesses, but we are just as focused on sharpening strengths. We constantly work on what we are already elite at. Know and have a plan and progression in place for what you are trying to accomplish. 

Right now, Damian Lillard is work on a series of 10 types of shots at the elite level, off the dribble, and the catch. We focus on balance, release, rhythm, using your legs, getting your elbow to come up through your shoulder, and getting a high release point. We are working on coordinating our dribble into our shooting motion. We will take different dribbles into our pull-up.

Balance is very important. Balance and release. We can complicate shooting, and so we give guys one or two main things for shooting the basketball, and sure those up and getting sharp at those, and then building off of that.

What do you tell people when they are missing shots?
The only thing that you can do is make the next shot. You can't worry about the past or the last shot. Stay in the moment. The only thing you can do is make your next shot. Don't pout or sulk after you miss. Don't get frustrated if you miss a couple in a row. The only thing you can do is grab the ball, shoot it, and make the next shot. You have to believe that the next one is going in. You might miss two three, four in a row, but as soon as you make the next one, you give yourself a chance to make the next 3 or 4 in a row after that. Have the next shot mindset, stick with the process, and give yourself a chance to become a better shooter.

What was your role with the OKC Thunder, and how were KD and Russ?
I was an assistant coach with the Thunder's developmental team. Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook are two of the best players in the league for a reason. There is no magic recipe that makes those guys successful. They literally show up every day, two hours before practice, and do a pre-practice routine. If we practiced at 10:30, they would be in the gym at 8:30, on the court, by themselves, and they were the first on the court doing their pre-practice routine. Their appetite for success and to be great is unparalleled. The way they worked and the way that they showed up every day is what makes them great. They want to outcompete everybody in everything, and that is what separates guys, even at the highest level.

How do players become great leaders?
The number one step in leadership is you have to take care of your own business first. You have to take care of your work ethic, your attitude, and your communication first, and when you do that, then you will be in a position to be a great leader. Second, the best leaders don't just drag teammates along with them; they walk alongside them. They put their arms around their teammates, and they are always talking to their teammates and encouraging and pushing their teammates in drills. But they aren't afraid to confront their teammates when they aren't bringing it, or when they aren't working hard enough. They handle things the right way and they don't let anything get in the way of the team or the culture or the success that they want.

Do you teach the two-step or the hop into a shot?
The best players can do both. KD was shooting after practice shooting, and if he shot 10 shots, 5 were on the two-step and 5 were off the hop.

What about the Dip on the shot?
Just don't hinder or slow your shot down so much that you can't get it off. We always tell our players that we aren't going to change your shot, but we might tweak it a little. When you tell guys that you are going to change their shot, it puts way too much crap in their head. If the dip is too far, we might tell them to raise their dip a few inches, but before that, we look at the shot preparation before the catch. Are you down and ready and hands ready to catch and shoot? Those matter as much as the dip.

What kind of workouts/training do you do with athletes?
We have three types of workouts. There is a skill development workout that consists of ball-handling, footwork, change of pace and direction, and finishing around the rim, along with a game-like aspect like the pick and roll or shooting off the screen. There is a shooting workout that might start with ball-handling to get warmed-up and then some spot-up shooting, but then we get a lot of shots up. We work on extending range because when you do, it exposes some weaknesses in their fundamentals, and it makes regulars shots and threes easier. We shoot of cuts, off screens, on the move, and off the dribble. The third type of workout is a reps workout where we make 200-400 spot-up shots from close to the 3s. Lillard would do two of these in a day during the off-season. He would do a 45-60 skill workout in the morning and come back in the afternoon and do a shooting or rep workout where he is making 400-500 spot-up shots.

How do you find a good workout coach?
There are player development coaches and there are skill coaches. Player development coaches are the best of the best. They can teach, and they aren't just doing drills and skills. They teach players how to think and read the game, and they are teaching their players' mindset and work ethic. They preach and teach the right messages that work for basketball and that translate to life. Messages like being on time, working hard, and being high-character people. In most cases, most great players are great people. MOST of the best players in the NBA are great people and they treat the towel boys as good as they treat the head coach. They are really great people and teaching that is really important for player development. The better the person you are, the better the player you are going to be. Skills trainers are a dime a dozen. They can watch a Youtube video, steal a ball-handling drill, and use it. You want player development and people development coaches.

How do you balance skill development and playing?
Know what is going on in their schedule. Know when they are going to be practice and when they are going to be playing games and work around that schedule. Get work in before or after practice and before and after the game. Kids play so many games in the summer that they don't make enough shots or work on their stuff skill-wise, so their skills and shot-making never catch up to the speed of the game or the number of games that they play. Most kids just don't work on their game enough. They don't work on their footwork, balance, shooting off the catch and dribble, finishing around the rim enough. We should be working on that equal to or as much of the time that we spend playing games.

How do you develop the right culture or philosophy for success?
The right culture starts with bringing in the right people. Develop a culture and atmosphere where winning is the most important, but doing it the right way is just as important. High-character, tough athletes who are willing to be coached and who just really want to accomplish something special on top of the foundation that we have built is important. 

What were your defensive philosophy and defensive rules?
We had three rules.
1 - No 3s
2 - No middle
3 - No layups

We run you off the 3-point line, then take away your middle drive and force you baseline, and we give up no layups because it is one of the highest efficiency shots in basketball. That was our foundation. It is simple enough to understand. 3s count more than twos, and the only way to really guard the 3 is by taking it away. Every mid-major team that has upset a high-major has made 8 threes or more. The only way to keep a team from making 8 threes is to not let them shoot 8 threes. If you can't shoot 8, you can't make 8.

Players aren't good passers. If you speed them up and make them play faster, they become even worse passers. Speed them up and make them make bad decisions.

How much time do you spend on defense in practice?
We work on the 4-core areas of our defense every day in practice. We led the country or as close to it in field goal percentage. But our 2 main targets were defense and rebounding, and that is how we started practice and film sessions. We kept the main thing the main thing.

Anybody who wants to improve or grow has to be willing to accept criticism and has to be willing to hear other people's opinions. We might have 2-3 high school coaches at our college or pro practices, and I ask those guys to see their notes so that I can see what they saw or heard at our practice. I want to know what they thought we were good at and what we thought they were terrible at. This gives us confirmation that we are doing something right or confirmation that we can do something better. You can't trick the truth, and sometimes we can get blinded by the routine and not see the things that aren't going right.

What is the best of what you have learned in college coaching?
Don't coach for the name on the front of your business card; coach for your head coach and coach for your players because the name on your business card is just you and for yourself. Coach to impact your players, your head coach, and your program and be part of something that is bigger than yourself.

Never let a chemistry guy go. When guys are about your program and are tough and do the right thing, you can never let them go. They might not be playing as much or they might not be as skilled, but you can't let chemistry guys go.

The players don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. Relationships are vital. The players have to know that you care. When they know that you care and you have built up enough relational equity, then you can coach them as hard as you want to and they will run through a wall for you. They will do anything that you give them to succeed, and that is when you become a truly good coach.

Sitting In Your Car Is Self-Care

Do you ever just sit in your car before going into the house, tired, stress, frustrated, or angry? I have had many of these days, and it seems like those little moments sitting in the driveway with the car running brings me some peace and restoration before going into the house to my most important jobs of being a husband and a dad.

After listening to a recent Jon Gordon podcast, I realize that there might be some real benefit to sitting in the car for a few minutes before going in and that it can be a very beneficial form of self-care. Coaching is a tough profession. We pour into and feed into our athletes and their families so much that it is easy to come home feeling depleted, and we often bring our worst home to our own kids and families. We give everyone our best and we give our families whatever little is left.

Jon said that we have to make our home team is just as important as our work team, and we have to bring our best self home. He said that the key is to know that most arguments happen during the first 20 minutes that you walk into the door. So when you come in, create a routine or ritual with your family that provides a buffer zone and allows you to separate the first part of your day from the second part of your day.

Some of the things that you can do to create a buffer zone include breathing techniques, yoga, meditation, prayer or a walk. Renew, recharge, and prepare yourself to bring your best home to your family. It's important to be intentional with this. When we bring our best home, we will feel better about ourselves and will bring our best to our work. Being intentional about bringing our best home improves all areas of our lives. Be an intentional leader, change-maker, and difference-maker at home.

When we are living with purpose and we are serving and replenishing others, we will replenish and energize ourselves and we will have more energy for work and home.

Jon said that when he learned how to be a better leader at home, his life changed and his career dramatically improved. Invest in your family, serve them at home, and watch yourself grow and change in amazing ways.

So don't feel bad about sitting in your car, resting and collecting your thoughts before walking into the house. Now you know that there is real benefit from it!

1 - What is one thing that you can start doing that will help you bring your best home to your family?
2 - What is one thing that keeps you from bringing your best home to your family?
3 - How can you overcome that barrier?

What Made Damian Lillard, Damian Lillard

Damian Lillard was a little known, small college basketball player who became an NBA lottery pick, Rookie of the Year, and an all-star. One of his college coaches and trainers, Phil Beckner was asked in an interview, "What kind of plan did you put in place and that he followed to have that kind of success?"

Beckner said that Damian called him at 11:30 one night and asked, "Phil, what do I have to do to make the NBA?" Beckner told him, "You have to outwork everybody in the country. The guys at Duke, the guys at Kansas - you have to outwork all of them. You have to wake up every single day and not just be the hardest worker at Weber State, but the hardest worker in the country."

He said, "Okay, I'll do it," and because he did, he gave himself a chance to be special.

One strength of Damian is that he has always had a willingness to work on things that he wasn't good at, and he is always willing to work on things that were uncomfortable for him. He is willing to do things that other players aren't willing to do.

In his interview, Beckner also said that the best players are usually great people. They come early, they stay late, and they just put in the work. The qualities that it takes to become a great player are the same qualities that it takes to become a great leader, teacher, doctor, businessperson, nurse, or anything that you could imagine being.

1 - Are you willing to outwork your competition?

2 - Are you willing to learn and try new things, even if it makes you uncomfortable?

Zero Week Devotional | Endurance

One of my resolutions for 2021 is to tap into my spiritual life through this blog. My goal is to post a blog every Sunday that reflects this.

The word or thought for this week is ENDURANCE.

Endurance is our ability to handle or endure a difficult situation or process without quitting.

If 2021 has taught us anything, it is that life isn't easy, and neither is sports. We all face adversity and opposition. The Bible says, "In the world, you will have tribulation." No champion becomes a champion without taking a loss. It took Michael Jordan 7 years to make the NBA finals and to win his first title. The key to success is having the endurance to push through and past all adversity, obstacles, setbacks, and losses.

There are some things that we can do to help us build our endurance and that can help us face and overcome adversity.

Get Encouragement From Others
We can find hope in looking at the journey of others. Find athletes and/or mentors who have done what you want to do and learn from them. Hebrews 11 is often called the "Faith Hall of Fame" because it introduces an impressive list of Old Testament heroic figures whose stories stand out to encourage and challenge faith. I always tell my athletes to find a player comparison that they can look to for inspiration.

Get Rid of Distractions

Identify the things that can slow you down or get you off track. Don't let anything keep you from getting closer to your goals. Hebrew 12:1 tells us, "Let us lay aside every weight and the sin which so easily ensnares us." Don't let distractions keep you from doing the work and creating the habits that will help you achieve your goals.

It is a Marathon, Not a Sprint

Hebrews 12:1 ends by telling us, "and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us." When the going gets tough, don't run away and don't quit. Keep fighting. The longer we push the limits, the stronger our faith becomes and the stronger we become.

Know Your Why

Hebrews 12:2 advises us to keep "looking unto Jesus, the author, and finisher of our faith." Seeing the final prize can help us endure the adversity that we face on the journey. That is why setting goals are so important. When we have goals, we know what we are working for.

This Week:

1 - Write down one of your goals, and write down one habit that you can start that will help you achieve your goals. Commit to this goal for all of 2021.

2 - Read Hebrews 11 and find one heroic figure from the chapter that you can identify with. Also, find one athlete who you can identify with and look to for encouragement.

3 - Identify one thing that is a distraction for you, and come up with a plan to eliminate that distraction.

From D2 to the NBA - Brodrick Thomas

Brodrick Thomas has a cool story of how hard work, overcoming adversity, and some luck and blessings can help you reach your dreams. He signed to Division 2 Truman State as an undersized guard, and he had to leave the program after his freshman year because of declining grades.

He went to Southwestern Community College for a year, where he helped lead them to an undefeated season and a JUCO national championship. This is also where he grew 4 inches.

"At first it was frustrating, not living up to what I know I could have been here academically," Thomas told the Daily Express. "It was frustrating, but when I look back on it, it was big for me because it made me learn what it takes to lead a team, to take a team where it hasn't gone. It was a defining moment and step in my career."

Brodrick bounced back, returned to Truman as a leader of the team. He broke scoring records while there, and he impressed his coaches and teammates with his game, his maturity, and his leadership. He became better because of his circumstance.

We all get a few defining moments that will help shape our careers. For Michael Jordan, it was hitting the game-winner as a freshman at North Carolina. For Steph Curry, it was overcoming ankle injuries early in his career. For Coach K, it was overcoming a few rough years at the start of his Duke career, signing a signature class in the early 80s, and turning it around.

Manage those moments well. Learn from them. Grow from them. Become better because of them.

Harrison Barnes and the McDermotts

Harrison Barnes was one of the top high school players in the country in Iowa, and he was a big-time recruit before going to UNC. In high school, he played with another future pro, Doug McDermott who played for his dad, Greg, at Creighton before going to the NBA.

Coach Greg McDermott said that he attributes a lot of his son's success to Harrison Barnes. Coach McDermott said that Harrison worked harder than any other high school player that he had seen at skill development. Harrison didn't have a drivers license in high school, so Doug was his ride. Doug got to spend a lot of time with Harrison and he embraced the work ethic that Harrison had.

They would get up and go run at the track at 5:30 in the morning, and Harrison would be running with parachutes. When Harrison was in the gym, In high school, Harrison Barnes would be in the gym working on one ball-handling skill, just one move, and he would do it over, and over, and over again for 40 minutes - just the same thing.

Obviously, his success speaks for itself. He made himself into one of the best high school players in the country, and he has carried that over to the NBA.

Doug McDermott | Stick With It If You Love It

Doug McDermott was a 6-foot, scrawny freshman in high school, and went on to have a great division 1 basketball career, and is now an NBA vet. He was the 6th man as a junior for his high school team, but he embraced his role and did what he had to do for the team.

Doug's father coached him in college at Creighton, and he said that growing 6-8 by the time he graduated from college helped Doug have success, but he also said that Doug just continued to get better. He continued to work. He embraced the value of nutrition and getting enough sleep, and he worked extremely hard in the weight room to develop his body.

He was a gym rat, but an efficient gym rat. He wouldn't spend hours in the gym working part of the time and screwing around the rest. When he got to the gym, he had a vision in mind of what he wanted to accomplish. He got it done and then he went and enjoyed some of the other things that he likes to do.

Have a plan. Follow the plan. Work super hard when nobody is around.

If you love something, stick with it because you never know what might happen. That is why it is important to love the process and love the work. Continue to work at it, have a love for the game, and surround yourself with other people who have the same dreams as you.

Relax. Eyes. Body.

Relax.
Eyes.
Body.

Those are the three things that every athlete needs to master when they are in the middle of the action.

The first step is to relax. When in the middle of the game, especially in a pressure situation, our brains fight/flight/or freeze mode is activated. For some athletes, that means that they get anxious and move too fast. For some athletes, that means that they freeze and don't react fast enough. For some athletes, that means panic and swing (or kick) away. It takes 10 seconds for the body to process that adrenaline rush that causes us to react, but we don't have 10 seconds in the middle of the moment. Be aware of what mode you dive into under pressure, and work hard to stay centered and focused on the task. One of my kid's default mode is to fight. She gets anxious and rushes the process. My keywords for her are 'relax' or 'breathe.' she needs to take a moment, even in the middle of the action, and center herself so that she can make the next, best play.

After we learn how to relax, we can see the situation for what it is. Am I open? Where is space? Is a teammate open? What options do I have? I tell my players all of the time to see what is going on, then read and make the next play. I often see players rushing and throwing or kicking a pass without even looking to see if that play is open. Relax and see what you are doing, then execute.

The last step is controlling your body. You are relaxed and you see the next play; now you need to make sure that your body is in a position to make the play. Know how to get in a good, athletic stance that you can move out of with power, grace, and explosiveness. Know how to shield and protect yourself with your body. Know how to get your head and shoulders around a defender to create a better position. Know how to get low and activate your leg muscles so that you can power through.

Success starts with slowing down the game. The next step is seeing the game. The final step is making sure your body is in a position to make the play to win the game.

How We Respond

I mess this up, a lot. I messed this up last night. At basketball practice, my daughter would not see and pass the ball ahead to the open girl. After telling her twice, I stopped practice and had to say it again in front of everybody.

The next play, she forced a bad pass to a covered girl across the court, it led to a turnover, and my reaction was terrible. It was one of those moments that keeps me up at night. I can't sleep because I am thinking about how I could have, and should have, responded better.

I am not an old-school yeller, but I have high expectations for my athletes, and I try to hold them to it. But, I try to do so in a way that builds them up while holding them accountable. My two biggest fears as a coach are causing them to lose love for the game and causing them to be afraid to take risks.

Those two things, love, and courage, are two of the biggest reasons I coach. I want kids to love sports like I learned to love them by having fun and having success, and I want my kids to learn to face their fears with courage.

When you love something, you will work harder and longer at it.

When you have courage, you will be willing to take the chances that you must take to get to the next level. Nobody has become great at facing their fear with courage.

Knowing that these are my goals and objectives, I have to manage my responses to mistakes. The beauty of life is, we can fix our mistakes. I can fix my mistake.

I have to be better. We have to be better.

Are We Pressuring Athletes to Perform Too Fast, Too Much, Too Soon

I was reading an article last night from WeAreTeachers.com that made the claim that we are pressuring our kids to read to much, too fast, and too soon, and it made me think about the youth sports world, my own family, and whether or not we put too much pressure on our kids athletically too fast and too soon.

The article claims that reading has long been a privilege and a way to pass time and share culture, but it has recently become a forced method of information acquisition.  This made me think of a quote by Kobe Bryant where he said that

"Sports used to be something that kids go out and do for fun. But now it’s become so regimented where parents start to inject their own experiences or past failures onto their children, and it just takes the fun out of it.”

I have three young daughters who I am trying to teach to love sports, but it is a struggle for me to let go and let them own their experience.  I specifically struggle with how much should I teach and push them vs how much should I let them have fun, explore, and just be kids.

The easy answer is to just let them choose, but what is best is not often easy.  Us parents can choose all we want to just show up at games and just cheer our babies on, but when the competitive juices start flowing, and they start pushing, and their parents start yelling, we often want nothing more than our babies to show up and show out and outplay their babies.

I also think that the youth sports culture has been tainted with the influx of money and attention.  I long for the days where kids didn't specialize until high school and where academy and select sports were unheard of for 4 and 5-year-olds.  

The article states that when it comes to reading, we move so fast that kids have little opportunity to become comfortable and find joy in reading. Instead, they are moved to start to analyze what they are reading, and they are being asked questions about the main idea and inference in early elementary school.

I see similar aspects in sports.  Instead of letting kids learn and explore naturally, we pay for specialized skill coaches, tactic coaches, strength and conditioning coaches, mental health and performance coaches, and any other kind of coach who might give our kids an edge. This level of instruction and focused training is reportedly causing burn-out in our athletes minds and bodies. 

The article also claims that our expectations are sometimes unreasonable. Our students suffer failure after failure because we are in the wrong, and many develop anxiety about reading from their first experiences with it.  It is documented that mental health and anxiety is on the rise, and the level of expectations we place too early can't be good for all of our kids.

I'm still trying to figure this thing out for myself and my own family, so while I love information like this, I don't have the blueprint.  What I do have is a sense of purpose and a vision for what kind of people I want my kids to be as they grow.  I want to share my love for sports and my knowledge for sports with my kids, and I want my kids to be the best people that they can be.  If that means that they are nothing more than recreation level athletes, that is just as great for me as if they went onto be professional athletes.  As long as my kids are happy and growing as people, I am happy, and articles like this help me keep things in perspective: don't give them more than they are ready for too fast and too early.

What Do You Want to Get Out of Sports?

The reality is, everyone retires from sports, and most people do it without playing professionally and most don't get college scholarships. Knowing this, it is important to keep our athletic experience in perspective.

Knowing that we all retire, what do you want to get out of sports?

Knowing that we all retire, what do you want your athletes to get out of sports?

When I was an athlete, I wanted to be a pro. I wanted to play basketball at North Carolina and then go to the NBA. I learned in high school that it would be hard enough to get a college scholarship to any school, and then in college, I realized that it would be even harder to play pro. But I got out of it what I wanted. I was able to travel around the country playing basketball, I met some great people, and I was able to get my school paid for in the process. I had a great experience that I look back on with pride and joy, I still love sports, and I still love them enough that I choose to share my love of sports with kids.

As a parent, my ultimate goal is that my kids have a great experience, I hope they maximize their potential, and I hope that they enjoy the process as much as I did. If they want to be division one athletes, I will gladly help them through the process while making sure that we are doing so in a healthy way. If they just want to play for fun, I will gladly create a fun experience for them (while teaching them how to have a goal and the importance of hard work, teamwork, and the other foundational things that I think are important to sports and life).

Bleacher Report did a great job documenting Cole Anthony and his journey through the COVID shut down and leading up to the NBA draft. The thing that stands out about him is his love for the game of basketball. In anything, we should have goals that drive us, and his goal is to be one of the best basketball players in the world. But the fuel behind that dream has to be a love for what you do. Roy Williams said that his favorite part about Cole's game was that he loves to play basketball. He said that he means love with a capital L-O-V-E.

Cole Anthony's father, NBA vet Greg Anthony, said that Cole has a purity and passion, and love for the game. He said that the true greats in the game have always loved the game. They don't fall in love with the lifestyle; they fall in love, and stay in love, with the game. 

There are so many articles and stories about the statistics of kids quitting sports and why. I would love it if one of my daughters played for the US National teams of their favorite sports. If that is their goal, I will help lead and guide the way. But my hope and dream are that when we are grown, my girls still love sports. I hope that they call us on Super Bowl night, and during the Final Four, or the World Series and want to talk about the games. I hope that when we are on the beach with my grandkids, all of my girls will come out and want to throw the football or kick the soccer ball with their old dad. I hope that when they come and visit me for Thanksgiving or Christmas, they will play a game of horse with their old man.

So we focus more on having fun and loving the game first.

What do you hope and dream for your kids, and what role do sports play in that?

Bring It

They might tell us that we weren't good enough, and they might beat us, but they won't say that they didn't 'feel us.' They will feel our fight. They will feel our hunger. They will feel our will to win. They will feel our grit, our determination, and our tenacity.

If we make them feel all of that, we will win a lot more than we lose. Most importantly, if we make them feel all of that, we can leave every practice and every game proud of what we did.

1 - Did you work as hard as you could?

2 - What is one thing you were proud of today?

3 - What is one thing that you want to get better at for next time?

4 - How can I help?

Coach People, Not Plays

The best coaches coach players, not Xs and Os. Don't be so focused on the plays that you ignore the quality of relationships with your athletes.

The quality of the relationships that we have with our athletes is as important as anything we can do. They are more important than (almost) any play you can draw up or drill that you can teach.

"Culture eats strategy for lunch."

Positive relationships help even our best athletes reach their full potential under less stress because we, as humans, are hardwired for relationships and to connect with others. Some neuroscientists even argue that our need to connect with others is even more basic than food and shelter and is the primary motivation of one’s behavior.

At the core of positive relationships is trust. Caring is the way that we generate the trust that builds relationships (CRT and the Brain). When we intentionally build trust and relationships, our athletes will be more willing to put themselves out there and compete with the courage that we need for them to be at their best.

"We feel the safest and most relaxed when we are connected to others we trust to treat us well."

So if we want confident athletes who are prepared to go out and compete, we need to work on building better connections, relationships, and culture with the team.

Ask and Listen
We spend a lot of our time talking to athletes, but taking the time to listen to them will help us build better relationships. It's important to maximize our practice time and no parent wants to see their athletes sitting around talking for too long, but taking a couple of minutes at the beginning, middle, and end of practice to ask simple questions like the ones below can have a big impact on your team’s success over the course of a season:

1 - What is something you learned today in school?
2 - What is something that you are excited about?
3 - What is something that you are confident with?
4 - What is something that you want to get better at?

After a few weeks, imagine how much more you can know about your athletes, and imagine how that relational equity can help them improve and buy-into what you are selling? Plus, when you really start to get to know your kids, you will know what motivates them and what is holding them back.

Build better relationships and you will have built better players and better teams.

What Triggers You?

We all have experiences where we get so triggered, so mad, that we blow up on everyone around us. Coaching is such an intense profession, and as much as we talk about relationships and growing people, it is highly driven by wins and losses.

Coaching and communicating can lead to miscommunication and unintended conflict. We have this thing in our brains called the amygdala - our brain's guard dog - that stays alert and keeps us safe. 

When that kid second-guesses us in the middle of a big timeout, or that athlete talks back in the middle of an important and intense defensive drill, or when that angry parent starts to storm across the court, coming to talk to you about what his daughter didn't play in the final few minutes of a big game, that triggers what many of us call Fight, Flight or Freeze mode. That feeling of the hairs rising on the back of your neck, or your body getting hot, or the sudden need to ball up your fist (or the sudden need to run to the locker room) is your amygdala reacting and hijacking your train of thought.

There have been (many) moments when I have reacted in ways that I am not proud of - responding from a state of escalation that ends with hurt relationships and loss of trust, sometimes permanently, when I should have stepped back, taken a second, and deescalated myself before engaging with (or yelling at) my team. Don't get me wrong, I will still get intense and yell if I feel like I need to raise the energy of the team or if I need to get a point across (or when my amygdala takes over because we didn't box-out), but I try to do so intentionally and strategically, not out of reaction.

We all get escalated and hijacked; the key is knowing what triggers us and to see these triggers coming before they take over. We need to be able to manage our emotions and responses because we are the 'emotional thermostat' of the team, and our energy influences and affects our team's mood and productivity. 

Emotions are contagious, and our brains have a negativity bias, meaning we see and focus on negative experiences more than positive ones. So we have to fight to see the good in things.

3 Key Strategies that can help you calm your amygdala and deescalate yourself are:

1 - Identify What Sets You Off
2 - Label Your Feelings
3 - Create an Early Warning System

I know that a player backing down from a loose ball sets me off. I also know that inconsistency from the referees, especially in crunch-time moments, really sets me off. I am a pretty calm coach, but I do have my triggers, and being aware of them and being able to anticipate them helps me stay calm because I can prepare myself and calm myself at the first signs of being triggered. Knowing what triggers me keeps me from taking the bait.

Affect labeling, or defining what is bothering you, helps reduce its intensity and brings you back down to normal. Just saying to yourself what is happening, like, "I am getting angry," or, "I get so frustrated when they don't box-out, or, "My wife is trying to trigger me right now," helps you reframe your thoughts and reduce the impact, and it takes you from being the lead actor in a horror film that ends with you going off the deep end with your team (or wife) and puts you in the role of director where you can regain control of the situation and extinguish the fire instead of adding to the flames.

Once you start recognizing your triggers, start to notice your physical reactions to them. If you notice your body getting hot, your jaw tightening, or for me - the feeling of blood rushing to my head and my fists balled up, that is a cue to take a step back, power down, and regroup. Taking just 10 seconds before you react can save you from a lot of trouble, and after 90 seconds, you can get to a complete emotional reset because that is how much time it takes stress hormones to leave your body after they have been activated.

The S.O.D.A. Strategy is a good and simple strategy to use when you are triggered and escalating:

Stop - Stop and pause instead of reacting and taking the bait. The first 10 seconds is the key. That is the amount of time it takes stress hormones to move through the body to your brain (prefrontal cortex).

Observe - Use the 10-second rule so that you can power down, respond (not react), and extinguish the fire.

Detach - Detach from trying to be right and focus more on trying to get it right. This requires listening to the other person and seeing what they see. Remember that your body can emotionally reset in just 90 seconds.

Awaken - Shift your focus from yourself to the other person. When our amygdala (the brain's guard dog) reacts, it is because we are trying to protect ourselves. But from what? When you start thinking about the wants and needs of others, you realize that they might not know or understand what is going on, that they might be scared or reacting out of fear, or they might need more clarification. Or they might just be upset, defiant, and belligerent, and that warrants a different response, a different set of tools (and possibly a different blog post).

Remember that emotions and body language are contagious. Use a calm voice, slow down, and start calm so that will help everybody power down and reset emotionally. I heard a speaker tell a group of teachers that a phrase that he used at a middle school campus when kids starting escalating was, "Don't go 13."

This week, start thinking about the things that trigger you, how you can see them coming, and how you can deescalate so that you can respond to conflict appropriately and effectively and without biting someone's head off.

A lot of the knowledge shared here, including the S.O.D.A method can be found in the wonderful book, Culturally Responsive Teaching & The Brain by Zaretta Hammond.

 

Building Deeper Relationships Lead to Better Play

A big part of coaching is our ability to connect with our athletes and their families. A quote that will stick with me is, "He made me feel seen, heard, and cared for as a learner." As coaches, we can easily change that quote to say, "My coach made me feel seen, heard, and cared for as an athlete, and as a person."

We are wired for connection. We all have different reasons for why we started playing and why we have stayed around the game, but at the foundation of sports is the human need to connect. Our brain's two main goals are to stay safe and be happy. We internally protect our self-worth, our self-determination, our well-being, and our connection to the community.

To get our athletes to perform at their best for themselves and for the team, we need our athletes to feel like they are valued members of the team, and we do that by minimizing threats and maximizing well-being.

Sometimes, one of the biggest threats to our athletes can be ourselves. We have all seen those students who misbehave in certain classes and for certain teachers who do great in other classes or for other teachers. We see athletes that struggle for one coach and who excel for other coaches. One of my goals as a teacher and a coach is to be the coach/teacher that finds a way to help all kids find success and maximize their potential. I want to be a kid's opportunity, not their threat.

What I learned early in my coaching career is that some of my athletes were raised differently than I was, some of them just don't care as much as I did, and some don't have the same work habits that I did. Also, some kids don't respond to criticism and coaching the way that I did. I spent the first few years of my career complaining about it, but now I find ways to adjust. I realized how unfair it was to my athletes to think that they learned like I learned and have the same cultural ideas and beliefs and expectations that I had. 

There are a few foundational things that I think you have to do if you want consistency, structure, and sustained success as a team, but I had to learn how to communicate those 'must-haves' to my athletes in a way that they could buy-into and believe in those things so that we can be successful as a team while getting to know my athletes better so that I can know what makes them tick, what makes them respond, and what motivates them so that they can be the best players that they can be.

The first step in connecting with athletes is beginning with intention. The act of committing to the process of building better relationships with your athletes gets your brain, and your will, ready, and it gives your brain ready and permission to build the stamina and courage needed to get through the process when challenges come.

The next steps are self-reflection and self-awareness. Some of our athletes do things differently, talk differently, have different habits and value systems - and that is okay. Inward reflection means being willing and able to listen and change so that we can respond positively and constructively to athletes who might be different.

Two ways to self-reflect are to know what your frame of reference is and to start to widen your cultural lens.

1 - What is your frame of reference?

Know what values and belief system that you have. Know what your parents and coaches taught you. What are your non-negotiables? What do your players, and parents, need to know about you and your coaching style so that they can be successful. These questions provide a foundation for why you do the things that you do.

Then, be able to answer that question for every athlete, and family, on your team so that you can better understand why they do the things that they do.

2 - Widen your cultural lens.

We all live and operate under a set of norms and beliefs, and those norms and beliefs, no matter how foundational they may be to you, they might not be foundational to all of your athletes - and that is okay.

Start each season with team expectations and community agreements. This lets everyone knows what your expectations are. It also helps you better understand what their cultural beliefs and expectations are. 

When your athletes are consistently doing something that does not fall in line with team beliefs and agreements, you have the team agreements to fall back on.

If they keep doing what is keeping them from doing __________, __________, or __________, it might be a behavior issue, or it might be a simple misunderstanding that just needed a conversation.

Our athletes today are very aware of culture, their identities, and the world around them. They need more of a connection upfront and that takes effort from us. Throughout the season, we have to continue to focus on that connection and sense of belonging. Doing so keeps the team happier and the locker room better. 

When we have happy and safe athletes, you have created an environment where they want to come and when they are more willing to give their best, try new things, and buy-into the team.

Dealing With Adversity | Cole Anthony and UNC

One of the hardest parts of sports is handling losing streaks! It's so hard to quantify the effect that one basket, one goal, one score, and one point can have on the players, the coaches, and the whole team. We have had games where we played really solid and just didn't make enough shots and lost. We have played games where we played terrible and won. Usually, the locker room after wins and practice the day after wins are so much happier than after losses, no matter how we played.

There is a quote that says, "Winning heals everything." No matter how much we tell ourselves that the process is what matters, and play the game - not the scoreboard, and other great quotes that focus on how we play and not the outcome, at the end of the day, winning sure does cure a lot.

But sports are a lot about managing moments, and we have to be able to manage, learn from, move on from losses 

Cole Anthony just got drafted by the Orlando Magic in the NBA. He went to North Carolina last year, and he came in as one of the highest recruits in the country. It looked like a perfect match - Anthony is a known winner and a high profile athlete, and UNC is one of the best basketball programs in the history of college basketball. But his year was not what many expected. He spent a lot of time out with injury, and when he did return, his team struggled to find wins down the stretch.

Here is a great video documenting his year at UNC:

Legendary coach Roy Williams gave this quote about adversity in the video:

What you can take from adversity is just how to handle it. And that is the way it is in life. When you face adversity, you can't just roll up into a fetal position and go into a corner and start crying - you have to come to play, and you have to try to get better every single.

Cole talked about playing harder and playing better when things aren't going well, and the importance of keeping hope.

Cole Anthony's father, former NBA player Greg Anthony, said that this was one of Cole's toughest seasons because it was the first time that he had to deal with collective and individual disappointment. He said that losing can be frustrating and it can take a toll. 

Losing can be tough. Adversity can be tough. Be we have to fight through it all.

There will be tough seasons, and there will be bumps in the road. The key is to learn from those experiences, appreciate them, and hopefully, those experiences will help you become a better player and person.

When you are in the middle of a losing streak, ask yourself these questions daily:

1 - What I am I doing well?

2 - What can I do better?

3 - What does the team do well?

4 - What can the team do better?

5 - What is my favorite part of this game?

6 - What is my favorite part about being on this team?

7 - What has been the best memory so far this season?

8 - Who is my favorite teammate, and why?

9 - Who is one teammate I want to get to know better, and why?

Having positive thoughts can help you stay positive through adversity. Have fun, keep pushing, keep getting better.

Intensity and Consistency

UNC's legendary men's' basketball coach, Roy Williams, says that the toughest part of the transition from high school to college, and the toughest part of transitioning to the highest level in college is the level and consistency of your intensity and your ability to compete.

I see this at all levels of athletics. Talent is the great separator, but we all know the quote, "Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard."

Even with elite youth athletes, what separates the elite from the really good is the consistency of intensity and competitive levels. The elite are big, strong, and fast, and they keep going. The elite makes second effort plays, and third effort and fourth effort. The elite outlast their opponents. 

If you want to take your game to the next level tomorrow, compete longer and harder. Don't give up on the play after you get beat; get it back. And keep doing it over and over again. This will build your stamina, and it will increase your skill level. This will also help you close the gap between you and someone better than you until there is no more gap.

Your level of intensity has to be really, really high, and it has to stay up there. You have to take pride in competing. Take pride every day in being able to play your best - no matter who you are playing.

Manage the Moments

A big part of coaching, and life, is managing moments. It is being present, appreciating and building on the good, and appropriately responding to the bad.

Before every game, I tell my athletes that we are going to do some really good things, and we are good to do some bad things. When we do good, let's try to keep that going. When we do bad, let's already make a deal that we are going to move on from it together.

It's all about managing those many different moments in the game. 

In this video, JPatterson messed up during a recorded filming and Marty Smith just happened to pass by: 

Marty shared some kind words that helped JPatterson manage the moment, and future tweets, JPatterson said that he nailed the next take.

Know going in that there are going to be ups and downs. Manage the moments in the game. Manage the moments in life. Don't get too high on the highs, and down get too low on the lows.