Take Personal Responsibility

I have always thought it was important for me to take personal responsibility for my teams. I take personal responsibility for their engagement, their effort, their execution, their energy, and their experience. If they are performing to the standards that I have set, then it is my job to figure out how to motivate them or better teach them.

I heard a pastor say that he used to be frustrated with his 8:30 AM Sunday service. He said that they would draw about 300 people, and they were the deadest and most uninspiring crowd to speak to.  He would get mad and angry with them, but he said that when he started to take responsibility for lifting the people and encouraging the people, it has become one of the most delightful services to preach to.

When our kids aren't paying attention in practice, we have to find a way to keep them more engaged or hold them more accountable.

When our kids aren't going as hard as they can, we have to find creative ways and measurable drills to get them moving in a way that we need them to.

When they aren't executing at the level that we need them to, we have to be more intentional with the way that we are teaching and practicing.

If their energy levels aren't where we need them to be, we have to first make sure that our personal energy levels are at a high enough level, and then we have to find a way to get them excited and motivated and energized.

I think one of the most important things that we do as coaches is create an experience. I want the experience of my athletes to be the best experience possible. That doesn't always mean that it will be fun. It means that it will be meaningful. They will grow. They will experience joy. Hopefully, they will win a lot of games. They will learn how to be better teammates and better people. They will know that they are valued, appreciated, and loved, and they will know that they have a world of potential inside of them and that I will help them live up to it.

We have to take our teams' and our players' performance, growth, and experience personally. We have to take their performance and experience personally. We have to make sure that we are doing our part to make it a meaningful experience.

Mental Toughness = Consistency

A big part of being successful is just being able to show up every day, doing the work, and being consistent.

If you are consistent, through the ups and the downs, you will get better.

Mental toughness is being able to stick to the plan no matter what is going on around you and no matter how you are feeling.

Make a plan and stick to the script. Reevaluate the plan as you go to make sure you are still on the right path to reaching your goals, but stay consistent with the work.

Make a decision to do what you need to do, and don't let your feelings or negative thoughts or emotions stop you.

Our thoughts are a big difference between being good or great. The people who can control their thoughts and emotions, the athletes who are mentally tough, will do what it takes to reach their goals. They won't let their thoughts or feelings stop them. They know how to manipulate and use their thoughts and feelings to motivate themselves.

So often we go to bed with the right intentions of waking up in the morning and working out, but when we wake up, we let our thoughts and feelings keep us from doing what we said we were going to do.

We have to be stronger and more mentally tough than that. We can't let our feelings win. We have to stay committed to the work that it takes to do what we want to do.

James Clear in his book, Habits, has many ideas on how to set up our life and lifestyle so that we give ourselves the best chance for success.

If you want to do something, plan ahead so that everything that you need is ready for you when it is time to work.

- Have your clothes picked and hanging in an easy to access location.
- Have your water bottle filled and waiting for you in the fridge.
- Have all of your gear in a bag waiting for you by the door or in the car.
- Have an accountability partner to run with or workout with or to call you before and/or after your workout.

Set yourself up for success beforehand. Be prepared. Then stay mentally tough and execute.

Being tired, bad weather, or just not feeling it today won't help you reach your goals. Take care of your mental health and take breaks when you need to, but have a goal, have a plan, and stay consistent if you want real results.

Dealing With Failure

I once coached a kid who was a perfectionist. She was the prototypical oldest child. Type A personality, high achiever, and super competitive.

What made her so good was that she really, really wanted to do the best she could for herself and others. She wanted to compete, she was super coachable, and she wanted to please.

All of those characteristics also manifested itself in one negative way: she struggled mentally when she wasn't able to master something quickly.

It started out simple and harmless, but her inability to handle adversity began to get worse and worse. I started to notice that with every mistake, she would look immediately to me. Then she started to look at her parents after each mistake.

I set up a meeting with her parents to talk about this. My biggest goal for her was to learn how to play through mistakes and learn how to deal with adversity appropriately. This was a life skill that we needed her to learn. The last thing that we wanted was sports, and our role as parents and coaches in her sport's life, to create anxiety and mental health issues that would affect her later in life.

We wanted her to be a better person because she played sports, not hurt because of it.

We made a commitment to encourage her through the good and the bad. I made a commitment to continue to push her as her coach, to find the good in what she does but to teach and hold her accountable at all times so that she could reach her full potential.

Her parents made a commitment to be a source of inspiration, comfort, and a place of peace for her. The practice, the games, the competition, and everything that comes with being a high-level athlete is enough pressure; she didn't need the extra pressure of having to perform to receive her parents' approval. She just needed her parents' love and support.

In the end, I think things went well for her. She is playing college basketball, and her parents are very proud of her; as they should be.

Learning how to deal with failure is one of the best things that sports can teach.

Nobody Is Perfect

You aren't going to be perfect. Nobody makes every shot. Nobody catches every pass. Nobody hits every strike.

Mistakes are a part of the game, they are a part of learning, and they are a part of life.

One of your goals as an athlete should be to learn how to give your all every day and not let mistakes or failures hold you back. You should also not let the fear of failure hold you back.

Lebron James has lost more finals games than he has won, but he is still considered one of the best ever.

Christiano Ronaldo just missed a PK in an Italian Super Cup Semifinal game, and he is considered one of the best ever as well.

Every day, just try to get a little better. Learn from each mistake. 

2020 Is Going To Be GREAT

Doc Rivers is a professional basketball coach for the LA Clippers. In a recent podcast, he talked about leadership and how he is keeping his team ready for when the NBA resumes.  When asked how he is keeping his team ready, he said:

"I am telling my team that when it all starts back, it's not going to be the same, and it may not even be fair. You have to be okay with that. It's not going to be fair, but we are still going to win. It's not going to be fair, but we aren't going to use that as an excuse. It's not going to be fair, but its very fair because everybody is doing the same thing. Let's not let this be the reason that we don't win.

Right now we have to make the most of it and find a way forward."

He went on to talk about a conversation that he had with a high school graduate about how to keep this year in proper perspective and how we all should look at everything that has happened in the year 2020:

I was talking to a high school graduating class, and one of the kids said, "This isn't fair."

I said, "This will not be the worst day of your life. You missing a party and a bad graduation speech will not be the worst thing in your life. Enjoy it, move on, and I expect you to be a leader."

It is very easy for us all to fall into that in 2020.

How many times have you heard that 2020 is awful? Someone just told me that, and I said, "What do you mean awful? It's not even halfway! Like, make it great the second half. You can't give away the year; that doesn't happen."

So, 2020 is going to be GREAT. That's the way I look at it. We're going to make it GREAT.

A proper perspective at all times is important.  Yes, this year has been hard.  We can either complain and make excuses about it or we can keep pushing and find the good and the positives. 

Being A Great Teammate

"It has become more apparent how important it is to promote teammates and teams; more than ever.  It has always been a team game for us and our sports, but more than ever, the awareness of our guys to be great teammates is more valuable and more important than it ever has been in my coaching.

If you are a great teammate, then you are concerned for others, and the great Bill Russell was in our meeting rooms a couple of years back and out of nowhere he said:

"You know what it takes to be a great teammate?  You have to wake up every morning thinking about how you can help one of your teammates be better."

That kind of mentality doesn't have to only be on our teams.  Why can't that type of mentality be what it feels like to be an American?  That I am part of a team and what can I do to help the people around me?

Why would that not be as important as ever instead of 'lookout for what I got' or 'protect your own' or 'save me.'

It is a clearer thought that takes direction and leadership, but it creates an environment where you feel good about being there and you feel comfortable.  You are a little bit happier because you know you are doing the GOOD work and you know that you are helping people.  That is so fundamental, but it is powerful and it important, and I don't feel it enough around us.  I wish we could feel it more and I wish that we could promote it more wherever we go."

Pete Carroll
- Flying Coach Podcast

Leadership Is ...

"Leadership is about the other people and holding ourselves accountable so that we can help those around us become who they can possibly be.

Without that connection, there is no leadership.

You have to have a connection with the people that you are serving and hold yourself accountable to them.

You have to be willing to take the tough stands.

You have to be willing to stand up for what you know is right and be willing to take the hit because it is the right thing to do.

Good things happen when you do things for the right reasons.  You can make it through the hard times and you can rebound from setbacks and the problems.

But it comes from the principles of serving others and doing a good job of it and letting yourself be scrutinized and to have the courage to suck it up and do it."

Pete Carroll

Flying Coach Podcast

Stay Ready

WISDOM is doing NOW what you will be happy with later.

STAY READY and STAY PREPARED so that you don’t have to rush to get ready.

Don’t be lazy.
Don’t be complacent.
Don’t be passive.
Don’t be inactive.
Don’t be a procrastinator.

BE who you want to become.

Have the HABITS and live the LIFESTYLE of who you want to be so that when your opportunities come, you are ready.

You never know when you are going to get your big opportunitty, so stay ready for it by the way that you live and your habits.

You never know when you might play in front of that coach, or get a tryout for that all-star team.

You never know when you might be in position to hit that game winning shot or take the game winning pentalty kick.

You never know when you will have to field that grounder to keep the no-hitter alive, or make the game saving tackle.

Stay focused, stay ready, and stay in position so that you give yourself the best chance at success.

The world is starting to open back up from the COVID-19 shutdown.  Get ready.  Be ready.  Stay ready.

Patience

"The biggest thing that I have learned  is PATIENCE. Early on I was a pretty impatient coach. I wanted it now, I wanted them to be able to do it now, and I didn't understand if they didn't see what I saw. Now, from trial and error, I have become much better at that."  - Doc Rivers 

I am a dad, a coach, and I coach my own kids, so I have learned through trial and error the importance of balancing pushing our athletes with patience.  Having a sense of urgency in the way that you work is important to growing and getting better, but patience is the thing that I have sought and prayed for more as much as anything.

As parents and coaches, we see so many things, small and large, that our athletes could do to grow and change their game, and sometimes it blows my mind when my athletes won't listen and apply those changes.

But I am learning that this is their journey.  I am learning that I am here to love and support them.  I am learning how to find a balance between patience and pushing.

I am here to teach, provide positive feedback.  I am not here to be a joystick that controls their thoughts and moves.

What really helps me is knowing that time, repetition and experience are our friends.  Over time and through the right practice and reps, they will get better.  I just have to find the time to create those opportunities.

And the more experiences that they get, the better they will be.

Sometimes we have to be patient through the learning process, and sometimes we have to have a sense of urgency.  If we are too easy and too patient, they might not get out of their comfort zone and we all know that growth comes outside of our comfort zone.

But patience is important.

Squeeze The Juice

Squeeze The Juice

Don't play to the whistle.
Play THROUGH the whistle.

Every drill, every practice, every day, try to get as much done as you possibly can.

One or two extra reps will pay bigger and bigger dividends over the course of weeks, months, and years.

I hate when I see players looking over at the coach waiting for them to blow their whistle to signal the end of a drill or practice.

What I want to see is my athletes playing and pushing through the whistle trying to squeeze the juice out of every workout.

The best find a way to squeeze all of their talents.

Kobe used to say that he wanted to get everything that he could out of high God-given talent.  He wanted to maximize his potential.  He said that at the end of his career, he wanted people to think of him as a talented overachiever.  That he was blessed with talent, but that he worked as if he had none.

Unlock and Unleash Their Potential

The best coaches and teachers that I have seen have a special ability to unlock the potential in their athletes and their students.  

If we want to unlock potential in our athletes, we have to be able to unlock them as people.

We have to believe in them and believe in their potential, we have to value them as people, and we have to understand that though their backgrounds, culture, knowledge, and skillsets might be different than ours, they bring value that we too can benefit from.

To unlock our athletes and their potential, we have to believe in them from the second that they walk in the door.  We have to believe that inside of them is a world of infinite potential, and it has to be our mission to connect with them, to discover their strengths, to help them realize that potential, and to help them bring it to life.

We have to take their success personally.  We have to believe that much of their success is in our ability to connect with them, our ability to inspire them, and our ability to teach them and build their capacity, skill, and decision making.  

Some athletes are self-motivated and internally driven to learn, improve, and to succeed.  Others depend on us to identify, nurture, and unleash their potential.  

They have to do the work, but we have to help light the fire so that they are inspired to do the right work the right way with the right attitude and mindset.  We need to have the ability and the confidence to encourage those who need the inspiration to explore the frontiers of their potential.

We need to be an oasis that inspires our athletes and their learning and potential to flourish.