A Coach's Diary

I once knew a soccer player who was one of the greatest goal scorers I had ever seen. Mariah's team could always rely on her to get a goal or two. Even in the biggest games against the best teams, her team could count on her to make sure that they walked away with one more goal than their opponent. But the most impressive game that I ever saw Mariah play was in a state championship game in high school. It wasn't impressive because she played a great game, it was impressive because she struggled all game but never quit. In this game, Mariah was matched up against a big, physical, and fast defender. It seemed like she was knocked off her ball every time he touched it. She couldn't get anything going, she couldn't do anything right, and she couldn't beat this defender. But Mariah kept moving, she kept working, and she kept asking for the ball. She never stopped. You could tell she was frustrated, but she just kept pushing through. With a few minutes left in a 0-0 game,...

I mess this up, a lot. I messed this up last night. At basketball practice, my daughter would not see and pass the ball ahead to the open girl. After telling her twice, I stopped practice and had to say it again in front of everybody. The next play, she forced a bad pass to a covered girl across the court, it led to a turnover, and my reaction was terrible. It was one of those moments that keeps me up at night. I can't sleep because I am thinking about how I could have, and should have, responded better. I am not an old-school yeller, but I have high expectations for my athletes, and I try to hold them to it. But, I try to do so in a way that builds them up while holding them accountable. My two biggest fears as a coach are causing them to lose love for the game and causing them to be afraid to take risks. Those two things, love, and courage, are two of the biggest reasons I coach. I want kids to love sports like I learned to love them by having fun and having success, and I want m...

To do anything great, it takes courage. To take that last shot, to take that charge, to make that extra pass, to dive on that ball, to win at the highest levels, it will take courage. Courage is the ability to do something that scares you. It is doing something while facing fear or danger. Courage is being afraid and doing it anyway. Courage requires you to get out of your comfort zone. Courage happens when there is uncertainty or risk. If you don't know how something is going to turn out, be brave, and go for it. You can BE courageous and confident even when you don't FEEL courageous or confident. Have a goal, mission, or task, and do it afraid. Good things will happen to you and through you.

"I was fortunate to have coaches who had the COURAGE to coach me. They weren't trying to be my friend or hang out with me. They said this is what you HAVE to do: Be a good person, go to school, go compete!!" I heard NBA legend Isaiah Thomas say this on a podcast yesterday when talking about his coaches. At every level, he played for tough, demanding coaches. A lot of high-level coaches say that we have to have a more relationship-based approach to effectively reach, tea ch, and inspire today's athletes. We have to be ready to explain the why behind our methods, and we have to build relationships so that our athletes trust us and let us in. But we still have to COACH and TEACH. We still have to hold them accountable and hold them to the standards that we set, and we have to have the courage to correct when needed. A high-level soccer coach said that the best coaches he sees are coaches who are able to hold their players accountable and correct them while st...