Mamba Mondays | Be Obsessive

One of the pillars of Kobe Bryant's Mamba Mentality is OBSESSIVENESS. Kobe was known for his obsessive work ethic. Kobe once gave an ESPY award speech where he talked about how his obsessiveness and 4 A.M. workouts led to his success:

“We’re not on this stage just because of talent or ability,” Bryant said. “We’re up here because of 4 a.m. We’re up here because of two-a-days or five-a-days. We’re up here because we had a dream and let nothing stand in our way. If anything tried to bring us down, we used it to make us stronger.”

Here is how Kobe defined being obsessive:

"Whatever you are doing at that moment is what you are doing at that moment. Obsessiveness is having attention to detail for the action that you are performing at the time you are performing it, and if you can have that kind of focus, you can't help but to have a certain level of obsession."

When he was asked how he developed his level of obsessiveness and where he learned it, Kobe said:

"Being obsessive is a matter of what's important to you. For whatever reason, I didn't feel good about myself if I wasn't doing everything I could to be the best version of myself. If I felt like I left anything on the table, it would eat away at me and I wouldn't be able to look myself in the mirror. The reason why I can retire now and be completely comfortable about it is because I know that I have done everything I could to be the best basketball player I could be. You can't leave any stone unturned."

Kobe Bryant was blessed with many great gifts, but there are many athletes with similar gifts as Kobe, just like there are 1,000s of students, teachers, executives, artists, musicians, etc. that have similar or more talent than you.

At the end of the day, sustained success and greatness come down to who is willing to make the choices that others are not willing to make, and who is willing to do what others aren't willing to do. Success comes down to finding something you are obsessive about and putting in the work.

Are you willing to shoot baskets in the dark when everyone else is sleeping? Are you willing to wake up early to prepare for an interview, write a paper, or practice a speech for the 1000th time?

Obsessiveness is both a feeling and a choice.

Week 30 | Week Do Good Things

Middle school can be some of the best years and some of the toughest years for young athletes. So many changes happen in middle school, and you have to know who you are and who you want to be so that you are ready to deal with those changes in a productive way.

In my first year coaching middle school sports, all of the coaches who were there before me kept telling me about this kid named ‘Madi.’ Madi was now in high school, but they told me about how Madi’s presence completely changed the school.

Madi was a star athlete, but her genuine 'goodness' on and off the court is what transformed the school. They said that Madi was such a good, nice, and humble person that others started being the same way.

It wasn’t always easy for Madi. Madi didn’t curse, she didn’t talk back, and she was a peacemaker and not a fighter. At first, people would tease Madi and try to get her to do things she didn’t want to do, but Madi would just smile and handle herself gracefully and continued to be who she knew she was. Eventually, more and more people wanted more of what Madi had, and more and more people started asking her about Jesus and coming to FCA.

I didn’t have the pleasure of coaching Madi, but I felt her presence at the campus she was no longer at. If you don’t know where you are going, any path will get you there. When you know who you are and who you want to be, it makes your path, decisions, and actions clear. Madi knew who she was and who she wanted to be, and her identity drove everything she did. 

She was a good person who did good things no matter what other people were doing or saying around her.

In Matthew 12, Jesus is walking through some grainfields with His disciples when they are confronted by some Pharisees. Jesus and His disciples were hungry, so they began breaking off some heads of grain and eating them, but it was on the Sabbath, the Holy Day of rest, and the Pharisees claimed they were breaking the law because they were harvesting on the Sabbath.

Not only did Jesus remind them that Moses and the priests were allowed to work on the Sabbath and that King David and his people broke the law by eating the sacred loaves of bread on the Sabbath, Jesus also healed two men: a man with a deformed hand, and then a demon-possessed man who was blind and couldn’t speak.

Because of this, the Pharisees said Jesus gets his power from Satan, the prince of demons.

Jesus said to them:

“If you had a sheep that fell into a well on the Sabbath, wouldn’t you work to pull it out? Of course you would. And how much more valuable is a person than a sheep! Yes, the law permits a person to do good on the Sabbath." (Matthew 12:11-12)

He then said:

“A tree is identified by its fruit. If a tree is good, its fruit will be good. If a tree is bad, its fruit will be bad. You brood of snakes! How could evil men like you speak what is good and right? For whatever is in your heart determines what you say. A good person produces good things from the treasury of a good heart, and an evil person produces evil things from the treasury of an evil heart. And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak. The words you say will either acquit you or condemn you."(Matthew‬ ‭12:33-37‬‬‬)

Madi made the decision to be a good person who does good things, but the things around her didn’t change immediately. Every day she had to remind herself to do good things because bad things are all around us. 

This story about Jesus reminds me of my favorite Martin Luther King Jr quote, “The time is always right to do what’s right.” Jesus ate and healed even on the Sabbath. He healed because it was the right thing to do.

Good things happen to good people. Make a decision to do good things today, and every day. It won’t always be easy. There will be bad things happening all around you. People will even talk about you - like the Pharisees did Jesus.

But you will be known by your fruits - the good things that you do every day.

THIS WEEK

1 - Make a commitment to doing good things for people. What is one thing that you will do this week that is good for others?

2 - Doing good things is not always an easy thing to do. What is an obstacle that keeps you from doing good things?

3 - What is a Bible verse or someone you know who can inspire you or help you overcome those boundaries?

God, I want to be a person who is known for doing good things, but I know that temptation is all around me in many forms. This week, help me to see, think, say, and do good things. In Jesus' name, Amen.

For a Google doc version of this, click here: Do Good Things

Mamba Mondays - Life Lessons Through Basketball

Kobe Bryant was known for his Mamba Mentality. The Mamba Mentality means, "Trying to be the best version of yourself." It means, "Every day, you are trying to become better."

One of the pillars of Mamba Mentality is passion. Passion is love in action. It was no secret that Kobe looked up to Michael Jordan. Here is what Jordan said about passion:

"The greatest thing about the game of basketball, to me, is the passion; the love that I have for it. Because when you have love for anything, you'll go to the extreme to maintain that love. That's what love does; love drives you to do everything you need to do to maintain that connection. If I didn't have that love for the game of basketball, all of the things that have panned out in my career would have never been achievable. It was truly my love for the game that kept me pushing to be the best basketball player that I can be. To be the best, at anything, you gotta have a certain love for that to overcome all of the obstacles that's going to be thrown in your way. That's what the game of basketball has been for me."

Kobe Bryant said that his passion came from his love of the game. He loved everything about the game, including the smell of the gym, the sound of the ball bouncing, and the sound of the shoes squeaking on the floor.

When he was asked if there was one moment that defined his passion for basketball, Kobe said:

"It never leaves. The game is just a part of me. Even now that I’m retired, everything that I have learned from the game of basketball, I’ve carried over into life.

Basketball has helped me be a better person, a better friend, and a better father because there are life lessons within the game like communication, unselfishness, attention to detail, empathy, and compassion.

All those things are in the game, and as athletes, if we are aware of those things, it helps us become better human beings."

When Kobe was asked if he could apply those things to his post-basketball days, to retirement, and into his business world and future ventures, Kobe said:

"Sure. I was applying that even while I was playing to life outside of the game, and even more so now in building a business and all these things and determining what kind of culture you want to have. All those things are directly learned from the game of basketball for me."

Falling in love with the games we play can take us all around the world, and it can teach us so much about life. 

Because Kobe fell in love with the game of basketball, he was able to take learn valuable life lessons and apply them to create a successful life outside of basketball. 

Week 29 - I Will Give You Rest

Sports are great and fun, but they can also be stressful. The months of June and July in basketball are hard months. They are full of AAU tournaments and camps, and as I am coming to the end of my summer basketball schedule, I could use some rest.

My two main goals for all of my athletes are for them to grow into becoming the best version of themselves while enjoying the process, but becoming the best version of yourself is a tiring grind. You have to push yourself out of your comfort zone and beyond your limits, and you have to make good choices at all times, like what you are going to eat, how you spend your time, and finding the right teams, the right coaches, and the right camps and tournaments.

Luckily, I have a God that tells me that I can come to Him when I am weary, tired, and carry heavy burdens.

In Matthew 11, just after Jesus gave his famous Sermon on the Mount and after he gave the disciples his final instructions before sending them out to teach and heal in the cities, Jesus himself went out to teach and preach in towns throughout the region.

At the end of Matthew 11, Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

The sports journey is hard and long if you are lucky. It is a marathon, not a sprint, and it is easy to get tired and weary on that journey. But if we believe in Jesus, we can go to Him whenever we need, and He will give us rest. Stay humble and gentle at heart, and seek God and his teachings first and often through prayer and by reading the Bible regularly.

THIS WEEK

1 - Read Matthew 11. In verse 6, Jesus said, “God blesses those who do not fall away because of me.” In verse 19, he says, “But wisdom is shown to be right by its results.” God will bless you if you remain with him.

2 - When you get tired or weary, take some time for yourself and pray in silence, alone, to God. Let Him know that you are tired, weary, and that you are carrying heavy burdens. Ask him to take your stress and burdens and to give you rest.

Our Father, I pray that when I am stressed, tired, and weary, I will remember to come to you because you have the power and authority to take my burdens, and the burdens you give me in return will be light. I pray that I seek the Kingdom of God first and above all else, that I live righteously, and that you will give me everything I need. 

For a Google doc version of this devo, click here: I Will Give You Rest

Frustration is the First Step

When I was an younger athlete, one of my biggest flaws was that I would get frustrated easily, and when I got frustrated, it showed on my face and through my body language. I had to learn how to manage frustration appropriately, and that meant I had to learn to how change my relationship with frustration.

You can learn to see frustration as your enemy or your friend. Frustration is like the “check engine” light in your car. Nobody wants to see it come on, but it lets you know that something isn’t right.

Frustration can be the result of your inability to do something, failed expectations, or many other things.

In his book Relational Intelligence, Dharius Daniels writes that our emotions are messengers; they vocalize the inner workings in our souls. They are our body and soul’s way of alerting us and telling that there is something we need to pay attention to.

When you feel frustrated, Daniels says to ask yourself:

• Why?
• What am I expecting that isn’t being met?
• Do I feel drained?
• What am I feeling?
• Why am I feeling it?
• What is missing that I need?

Reflection is an essential part of success. You have to be willing to stop and press pause when necessary and be honest about what you are thinking and feeling, and then evaluate whether or not you are living the life you want to live and becoming the athlete or person you want to be.

Through reflection, we learn how to figure out what is right, what is wrong, and what adjustments we need to make. Frustration is the signal that says something isn’t right, and reflection is what begins the process of making things right.

When you feel frustrated, stop and take a second to reflect on why and see what adjustments you need to make.

Start on the inside and work your way out.

They Have to Want it More

I’m at the Nike Nationals girls basketball tournament. It is the biggest tournament of the year for high school girls basketball. The best of the best players and college coaches are competing for scholarship opportunities and rankings.

Do you want to know the statement I hear the most? “They have to want it more than I do.”

I hear that from both coaches and parents. They are frustrated that they seem to want more for their athletes than their athletes want for themselves.

And they are right. Former NFL player and ESPN analyst David Pollack said, “There is only one person in the end who will determine if your kid will be great, and that is your kid - not you. Only your kid can decide if they will be great.”

So, what can we do? Kobe Bryant said:

“We have to try to put them in different things and expose them to as many things as possible, and then see if there is one thing that connects with them. Because if it does, you don’t have to tell them to do it. If they have that passion, they’ll go off and do it on their own because it’s just fun and they would rather do that than anything else. As parents, it’s our job to expose them to as many things as possible and see which one they gravitate to the most.”

One of my goals is to expose my girls to as many different experiences, on and off the court, as possible to see what they connect with. On the court, taking younger girls to see college and WNBA female athletes can connect with them and inspire them in ways that my words can’t. Hopefully, one of those connections will set something off inside of them  and that will motivate them to work hard without needing me to push them.

And hopefully the experience that we connect them with off the court will inspire them to do things outside of basketball than can stick when they are done playing.

What experiences do you create for your kids or expose them to to help them unlock passions in their lives?

Week 28 | Give Freely

My best friend in high school would always stop at the gas station before school and get a small bag of chips. Then he would open the bag of chips, and before he took his first bite, he would pass the bag around for anyone who would want a bite.

Doing this in a car full of high school basketball players with high school appetites was a dangerous task, but he was one of the best teammates ever because he gave so freely.

Every team needs teammates who are willing to give freely, and giving doesn’t have to be tangible things.

We all have our gifts and talents to bring to our team. Some of those gifts, like being bigger, stronger, or faster are easy to see and measure.

Other gifts aren’t visible or easily measured, like being a natural leader, being a great encourager, or having a lot of energy and enthusiasm.

James 1:17 tells us that whatever we have that is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father. One of the keys to being a great teammate is knowing what your gifts and strengths are and using them as often as you can.

‘Give freely’ is one of the last instructions Jesus gave to His disciples before sending them out to teach, preach, and heal the people.

In Matthew 10, Jesus sent out his 12, hand-picked disciple to carry His message to the people of Israel. He gave them power and authority over disease, demons, and even death. They were sent out to teach about and represent Jesus, and anyone who received them will be receiving Jesus.

Jesus said to them:

“Go and announce to them that the Kingdom of Heaven is near. Heal the sick, raise the dead, cure those with leprosy, and cast out demons. Give as freely as you have received!” (Matthew‬ ‭10:7-8‬)‬‬

Jesus told His disciples to give as freely as they have received from Him. His final message to His disciples before sending them out was:

“And if you give even a cup of cold water to one of the least of my followers, you will surely be rewarded.” (Matthew‬ ‭10:42‬)

A cup of cold water, even in Jesus’ time, was not very expensive, and neither was my friend’s bag of chips in high school. Pretty much anyone can give a cup of water to someone in need. Even someone with almost nothing can help the mission of Jesus by sharing what they have, and when we share what we have, even if it’s a cold cup of water or our time, energy, and love, we are assisting In sharing the mission of Jesus.

Instead of always focusing on yourself and getting everything you want, live to obey God and let Him use you to be a blessing to other people. Be unselfish. Make your life about giving and what you can do for other people. Pray for people, encourage them, and compliment. Show appreciation. Live and unselfish life, try to be happy for others, and aggressively look for ways to give to other people. 

And remember the words of Jesus: It is more blessed to give than to receive (Acts 20:35).

THIS WEEK

1 - Decide to give something freely to the people you are around. They could be something tangible like a bag of chips or a cup of water, or it could be something intangible, like your time, your positive energy, a warm smile, or encouragement.

2 - What is one gift that God has given you that you can share freely?

3 - When is it hard for you to share freely? Are there ever times when you would rather be selfish and not share?

4 - Think about the most generous person you know. How do they give freely? How can you use their ability to give freely to inspire you this week?

Our Father. I pray that I can obey Jesus’s instructions to give freely. I now know that I don’t have to give a lot because a cup of water is not a lot, nor is it hard to share or give away. Giving freely is a simple but meaningful way that I can demonstrate God’s love and grace for others, and I will look for more opportunities to give freely this week and forever.

For a Google doc version of this devo, click here: Give Freely

Youth Sports Dads

It’s hard trying to find the balance between pushing your kids and keeping sports fun.

When you take the joy out of youth sports, it becomes a job and you run the risk of your kids not wanting to do it anymore.

Jon Gordon and David Pollack had a great discussion about how to maintain that balance on Gordon’s Positive U podcast.

Here are my notes:

Don’t Make It Too Serious Too Early

Don’t professionalize sports for kids, and don’t over-prioritize sports too early.

There is plenty of time to get serious. 

Don’t make it too serious too early or you run the risk of burning them out. Keep it fun and keep it healthy because the journey is a marathon and not a sprint.

Character >>> Results

Don’t worry too much about outcomes; worry more about who they are becoming as a result of the chase.

The purpose of sports is to make you a better human being. Focus on that. At some point, we will all be retired athletes; who will you be when you are finished playing?

Keep it Fun and Healthy

Make it fun, bring the joy, and bring the love. Keep it healthy and be an encourager. Keep the environment and experience healthy and positive.

Teach them to love it, and they’ll be more likely to do the work it takes to be successful. If they don’t love it and if it’s not fun, they won’t want to work as hard as they need to be successful.

The Kid Decides If They Will Be Great

There is only one person in the end who will determine if your kid will be great, and that is your kid - not you.

You can’t force anyone to be great, and you can’t force someone to have the will to do something - but you can take it away by taking the fun and joy out of it.

The kid has to decide if they want to be great.

Family Goals

Create family goals so that everyone is on the same page:

- Spiritual
- Academic
- Athletic
- Whatever else they want

Create Positivity Not Negativity

How you talk to your kids is a big part of how they will see themselves, their teammates, and coaches.

Speak positivity and not negativity into your kids.

Don’t create negativity; create positivity. What you say to your kids and what you pour into them will come out of them.

And if you don’t know what to say, then don’t say anything.

Person > Player

Don’t allow their identity to come from their performance. When your identity is tied to your performance, if your performance is great, you’re great, and when your performance stinks, you stink.

Instead, tie their identity to the unconditional love you have for them and who they are as a person, not a player.

What Do You Say After Games?

If all you do is talk about how they played and what they did, you are communicating that their identity is tied to their performance.

Instead of talking to your kids about how they played, say these 3 things after the game:

1 - Did you have fun?
2 - Did you try your hardest?
3 - I love watching you play, and I love you no matter what happens.

Clarify the Why

When we were told to dig a hole, we said, “Yes sir.” Today’s kids ask questions when told to dig the hole. 

They ask, ‘Why?’ They ask, ‘How deep does it need to be?’ They ask, ‘Why do I have to be the one to build it?’

We can complain about this, or we can learn to clarify the why.

Make them Better

Our goal, every single season, is to make kids better. No matter where they start, they will get better with us. They will get tougher, smarter and better.

There are too many resources out there for you not to be able to make your athletes better.

Set Boundaries

Set this boundary with your kid: I’m not your coach, so I’m not going to talk to you about it. If you want to talk about it, all you have to do is ask.

Control What You Can Control

All you control is your attitude and effort. You can practice hard every day and still have bad games, but don’t let anything kill your attitude or your effort.

Defining Boundaries

As my oldest daughter begins to transition out of youth sports and into the world of school sports, I realize that one of the special things about sports, especially youth sports, are that they help us set a foundation for who we want to be and how we are going to live our lives.

Sports help us create and establish meaningful and appropriate boundaries in our lives.

Boundaries define us. They define who are and who we are not. Boundaries help keep the good in and the bad out. Setting boundaries is taking personal responsibility for your choices. You are the one who makes decisions in your life, so you are the one who must live with the consequences of your choices.

Boundaries are guidelines. They are your way of telling yourself and others what you will tolerate and what you will allow for yourself.

Your boundaries have nothing to do with someone else’s boundaries. They are your and yours alone. No one can put up or breakdown your boundaries unless you let them.

Sports is a great way to figure out who you are and who you want to be. As you figure that out, and it is something that is constantly changing, setup appropriate boundaries in your life so that you have the right guidelines and direction for success, and so that you can keep out the distractions that keep you from being successful.

Week 27 | Devotional | Shake the Dust Off

Sports have a magical way of bringing people together. Very few things bring people together like sports. They are a way for people to unite over a common cause or goal, and they allow you to set differences aside and battle together with your teammates or cheer alongside fans of the same team.

Some of my best friendships began on the basketball court where teammates become friends, and friends become brothers or sisters.

There is nothing like joining a team full of strangers and leaving family.

But every team won’t feel like family, you won’t love all your teammates, and all your teammates won’t love you back. Sports teach you how to manage conflict and how to work with people you get along with and teammates you don’t get along with.

The story of Jesus teaches us many things. The story of Jesus sending his disciples into cities and villages to teach and heal people teaches us how to handle the relationships we will encounter in life, and what to do if the people we meet don’t receive us or our value well.

In Matthew 10, Jesus called his twelve disciples together and gave them authority to cast out evil spirits and to heal every kind of disease and illness.

He told them, “Go and announce to them that the Kingdom of Heaven is near. Heal the sick, raise the dead, cure those with leprosy, and cast out demons. Give as freely as you have received!” (Matthew‬ ‭10:7-8‬)

Jesus told them to search for a worthy person when they entered a new city and stay in their home until they left town. He then says, “If they don’t receive you, shake the dust off your feet and go to the next city (Matthew 10:14).

Jesus told his disciples that not everyone will like them or accept them, and that is okay. When you run into someone who doesn’t appreciate you, shake the dust off of your feet and keep going.

Some people and teams will receive you with open arms, and some won’t. Some will see your value, and some won’t. Some coaches will love you for who you are, and some just won’t.

You can’t make anyone like you, all you can do is the best you can and be the best person and hardest worker you can be.

If the people love you, then great!! It will be a great experience. If they don’t, shake the dust off your feet, add value where you can, be the best version of yourself, and learn and grow for the next experience.

THIS WEEK

1 - Who is the best teammate you have ever had? What made them a great teammate?

2 - What was the best team you have ever been on with the best teammates? What made the team so great and what made the teammates so great?

3 - What was the most difficult team you have been on, or who were the most difficult teammates you have had? What made them so difficult to be with?

4 - When you have difficult teammates, what can you do to continue to be a good person who models the love and grace of Jesus?

5 - Have you ever had a coach who didn’t appreciate you and as much as you feel like you should have been appreciated? How did you handle it? What could you have done better or different?

The message of Jesus is to live a life of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control through the good times and the bad times. Jesus lived these character traits knowing that one of the people he was closest to was going to betray him by handing him over to the people who were going to beat and hang him on the cross.

If Jesus can live a life without sin and love and forgive the people who eventually beat and killed him, we can work to be the best people we can be, even in difficult circumstances. That is what it means to be and live like Jesus.

When you run into difficult people, shake the dust off your feet and be the best you can be!

For a Google doc version of this devo, click here: Shake The Dust Off

What is the Mamba Mentality?

Kobe Bryant was asked what Mamba Mentality was. He said:

The Mamba Mentality simply means trying to be the best version of yourself. It means every day, you are trying to become better. It is a constant, infinite quest.

Always ask questions, and try to get better every single day. Be very observant and constantly look for things to learn from.

Life is all about choices. You always have a choice: become the best version of yourself, or don’t.

Every choice that you make either helps you come closer to becoming the best version of yourself, or it pushes you further from becoming the best version of yourself.

Kobe said, “Ask good questions, ask a lot of questions, and be observant.”

Life is a learning contest. Find ways to learn, grow, and improve so that can live out the Mamba Mentality and become the best version of yourself.

The 4-Minute Mile

Before 1954, most people in the world believed that running a 4-minute mile was impossible.

The best athletes and coaches around the world had been chasing this feat for over 50 years, but no one was able to crack the code until Roger Bannister was able to bust through the four-minute barrier with a time of three minutes, fifty-nine and four-tenths of a second.

Then only 46 days after Bannister ran his 4-minute mile, Australian runner John Landry ran the mile in a time of 3 minutes 58 seconds. Just one year later, 3 more runners run the mile in under 4 minutes - in the same race.

Over the next 100 years, over 1,000 runners have broken the 4-minute mile barrier that was previously thought to be impossible.

All it took was one person having the right mindset. That one person with the right mindset changed his sport, forever.

Bannister’s work ethic and belief in himself unlocked a level of performance in 1,000s of others.

An interesting part of the story is understanding the conditions in which Bannister broke the 4-minute mile barrier. Most experts believed that in order for someone to run a 4-minute mile, they would have to do so in perfect weather - 68 degrees, no wind, a hard, dry, clay track, and in front of a large crowd cheering them on.

Bannister ran his mile on a cold day, on a wet track, at a small meet in Oxford, England, before a crowd of just a few thousand people.

Greatness doesn’t require great conditions, but it does require a great mindset and great belief in yourself.

Go be great. You never know who needs you to be.