A Coach's Diary

I think we have all had experiences where we felt like we were done wrong and/or didn't get something we deserved. There has been a team we feel like we should have made that we didn't, a starting spot we felt like we deserved but we didn't get, and there are awards that we felt like we earned but were given to someone else. Kemba Walker went from being the starting point guard for the New York Knicks to the very end of the bench - overnight. He has had a wonderful career, and he is from New York City, so the entire city was excited to have the hometown kid come back and lead their franchise. But he hasn't been playing great, and his head coach not only took him out of the starting lineup, but took him completely out of the rotation. That meant, he went from starting to not playing at all! But through all of that adversity, he never pouted and he never quit. He kept a positive attitude, he kept working hard, and when his time came, he was ready.  Kemba is now back in th...

We have all been given different talents and gifts. Steph Curry can shoot the ball like nobody in the history of the NBA. Tom Brady defies time with the way he throws the ball. Megan Rapinoe has been a leader of the USWNT for years, and her ability to strike the ball has helped her win two world cups and a FIFA Women's World Player of the Year award. What I find amazing about all three athletes is that neither of them jumps out at you as being a superior athlete, but they have all been at the top of their sport because they know who they are, they know what they do best, and they maximize what they have been given. One of my favorite Bible stories is the parable of talents. It can be read fully in Matthew 25:14-30. A man was preparing to go on a journey, and he trusted three of his servants with his property. To one servant, he gave 5 talents, to another servant, he gave 2 talents, and to the third servant, he gave 1 talent. He gave to each of them the number of talents that matche...

If you want to be successful at anything, you have to be willing to TRY, and if you are willing to TRY something, you have to understand that there is a possibility that you will fail. Basketball coach, Kevin Eastman, wrote, “TRYING, taking in new challenges, facing the unknown, come down to these questions: - Is my TRY greater than my fear? - Is my TRY greater than my doubt? - Is my TRY greater than any embarrassment that U may suffer because I did not accomplish what I set out to do? Accomplishing anything, overcoming any challenge, requires a start, and starting something requires a willingness to try. So, TRY always precedes start. Coach Eastman defines TRY as a decision followed by an effort to accomplish something. Today, next week, forever - TRY. TRY something new. TRY to show up early. TRY to stay late. TRY talking to your coach about how you can get better. TRY, TRY, and TRY again. If you want to be successful at anything, the first step you have to take is to TRY! References:...

In his book, Driven From Within , Michael Jordan wrote, "I look at these kids today, and they don't know how to trick themselves. They don't even understand the need to find a way to get yourself ready to play at the highest level every night." Michael Jordan was the ultimate competitor, and I am always interested in how the best motivate themselves and keep themselves motivated. I WOULD WAKE UP IN THE MORNING THINKING, "OK, HOW AM I GOING TO ATTACK TODAY?" Michael Jordan wrote, "It was so easy for me to find ways to motivate myself. My driving force, my passion, was to impress people with what I could do. They got me through those dog days. The most important thing I learned from my father was the passion to prove what I was capable of doing. It was just that simple. I thought about that person who had never experienced the excitement or entertainment I could provide." WHEN I DID GET ATTENTION, I WANTED TO SHOW PEOPLE THAT I DESERVED IT. This quot...

Isaiah Jewett was a college track star at USC and was preparing to show the world what he could do in the 800-meter race in the 2020 Tokyo Olympics. Jewett's goal was to finish in the top two of his semi-final heat, and when  he was coming around the final turn, he was in a tight pack of runners when he felt something clip his foot. Jewitt lost his balance, and went tumbling and rolling, in the biggest race of his life, and took out Botswanan runner Nijel Amos with him. Devastated, Jewett scraped himself off, extended his hand to Amos, and pulled him up. Amos said, "I'm sorry." Jewett said, "Let's just finish the race. Jewett and Amos  FINISHED  the race together, shoulder to shoulder, nearly a minute behind the winners. But they FINISHED. Regardless of how mad you are, you have to be a hero at the end of the day," Jewett said. "That was my version of trying to be a hero, standing up and showing good character, even if it's my rival or whoever I...

I walked into the coach's office, and one of the football coaches was sitting at his desk with his head down. I ask him what was wrong, and he said that the 'Big Game Flu' was running through his team. I asked him what the 'Big Game Flu' was, and he said that some seasons, when his team was having an average or below-average season without a lot of leadership and lacking in grit, many of his players would end up hurt when they would play the top teams in their district, only to be healthy the next week against a weaker opponent. Their coaching staff, noticing this trend happening the week of the big game, started calling this phenomenon the 'Big Game Flu.' He said that the 'Big Game Flu' doesn't run through their team every year. The years where they have strong leadership, when their athletes are mentally tough and have grit, and when he has athletes who truly love to play the game and play with and for each other, the big game weeks are the bes...

Rapper, record executive, actor, and entrepreneur, Master P, has a son who has a son who is currently playing Division 1 basketball at Tennessee State, a son who used to play Division 1 basketball at USC, and a son who has just committed to play Division 1 basketball at the University of Houston where he was on his way to playing when a knee injury changed his direction and he instead put his energy into music. Master P was recently on the No Chill Podcast with Gilbert Arenas when he said that one of his sons chose a college that he didn't really want him going to. His son Hercy chose to go to an HBCU instead of a Power 5 school, and Master P felt like his son was sacrificing a lot by doing so. Gilbert Arenas thought that this was an important message for parents to hear. Master P said that he wanted his son to go to a school like LSU, but he chose Tenessee State, and Master P gave them the power to walk their own path. Master P responded by saying, "And I am going to support ...

CONFIDENCE is all about trust and belief. Sports psychologist Dr. Patrick Cohn defines self-CONFIDENCE in athletes as to how firmly athletes believe in their ability to execute a physical skill or perform a task. He says that  CONFIDENCE  is how strongly you believe in your ability to make or execute a play, and  CONFIDENCE  comes from past performances, training, and preparation. As your ability and skill grow your confidence grows. Former NBA player Matt Barnes has a popular podcast where he interviews other athletes. In one of his episodes, Jeremy Lin spoke about his struggles with mental health and his  CONFIDENCE  . He said: “The game is 90% mental. At the elite level, everybody has the skills. It's the dude who can shoot 7 times and miss all 7 and not care and shoot the 8th who is different from the person who missed his first 3 and will play it safe from there. There is so much power in the mind.” I think CONFIDENCE comes from two different places, t...

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good and His live endures forever (1 Chronicles 16:34).” Thanksgiving is a great opportunity for us to pause and reflect on what we are THANKFUL for. Studies gave shown that people who express gratitude experience a variety of benefits - like better sleep and more meaningful relationships. Most importantly, Thanksgiving is a great time to reflect and share gratitude to and for God for all of the things that He has done for us. Meditating on the things that He has done for us brings us closer to God, and some research shows what we think is multiplied. So thinking about the blessings that God has given us can lead to more blessings. "Praise the Lord. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever (Psalm 106:1).” This Thanksgiving, take a second to tell someone special in your life THANK you, and tell them why. Share your THANKS and gratitude with the people who have positively impacted your life.

I don't know too much about physics, but David Cowan once said that the gravitational pull on earth is so strong that most of the fuel that spaceships use to get to the moon is used just getting them beyond earth’s gravity. After they leave the earth’s gravity, the scientists rely heavily on lunar gravity to pull the space ship toward the moon. In her book, The Path, Laurie Beth Jones writes, that similarly, it is ‘escape velocity’ that requires most of the energy needed to pull us away from the bad habits that we have so that we can become the people we want to become, do what we want to do, and live the life we want to live. She says that we must have a compelling vision that is so powerful that it's very magnetism and gravitational forces will literally pull us toward it. She also writes that physicists are now aware of subatomic particles that hover in and around everything that exists, and that one characteristic of these particles is that they seem to take on the properti...

It is said that the grandmother of Jackie Joyner Kersey named the child after First Lady Jackie Kennedy, “Because someday she is going to be the First Lady of something!” Jackie Joyner Kersee grew up in poverty and had to overcome asthma and being allergic to many things - including grass - to become one of the greatest athletes of all time as a dominant track and field star. She has been called by many, “The first lady of track and field,” living up to the meaning behind her name. She had God-given talent, but growing up in a house and environment of positive prophesy and high expectations surely helped. Author Laurie Beth Jones writes that a positive prophesy is a positive prediction that you share with someone, and research shows that this can lead to an increase of performance. She also wrote, “One if the most important things we can do for others - and for ourselves - is to create and maintain an atmosphere charged with positive prophesies.” Success stories are littered with peopl...

Every year on every team that I coach, I have three types of athletes: I have a group that will listen, try, and do almost everything I say just because I am the coach. I have a 2nd group that don’t want to try anything hard and new. I have a 3rd group can go either way depending on a lot of different factors, including the influencers on the team and my ability to connect with, engage, inspire, teach, and motivate them. Psychologist Carol Dweck has studied mindsets for years. In a talk with Google, she said, “Some people believe that their talents and abilities are just these fixed traits where you have a certain amount and that's it, but other people believe that talents and abilities can be developed through hard work, good strategies, and good mentoring from others.” She also said that some people wilt in the face of failure and shy away from challenges while others who are no more talented and capable embrace challenges and thrive in the face of failure.” The best athletes on ...

When a player says, "Thank you, coach," I always say, "Thank you," back. The truth is, they don't have to show up, and when they do show up, they don't have to listen. We see and hear about the negative side of coaching so much. Players are transferring all the time. Parents are hard to please. Kids don't work as hard as they used to, they are selfish, and they aren't as tough as they used to be. The complaints and excuses are endless, and many of them are valid. But being a coach is one of the most important jobs in the world. We have the ability to impact lives in ways that no one else can, and we interact with more kids than most, so the quality of our coaching, teaching, and mentoring, and our ability to build meaningful relationships really can change the world. When the going gets tough, remember how important and sacred the player/coach relationship is. Remember how coaches have impacted your life - positively and negatively. Remember that you...

- Enjoy the journey as much as the destination. - Find happiness in enjoying the journey, not by awaiting the destination.  - The journey is yours. Enjoy each and every step. - Somewhere on your journey, don't forget to turn around and enjoy the view. - So often we become so focused on the finish line that we fail to enjoy the journey. If you Google search 'enjoy the journey quotes,' there are so many that pop up. I enjoy these quotes because they help you focus on the journey and not just the destination. If you focus just on the destination, you will miss all of the fun of the journey. You will miss the meaningful memories, the lessons, and the small but impactful moments that make life special. There is nothing like the bus ride to a big game except riding home from the bus after a big win. The locker room is one of the most special places on a school campus. The team meals the night before games, rotating from house to house, are a great way to get to know the families ...

You can be pitiful or you can be POWERFUL - but you can't be both. It is easy to feel sorry for yourself. It is often easier to feel sorry for yourself than it is to work hard and change your situation, and feeling pity can be a hard habit to break or give up. When I was a junior in college, I lost my starting spot to a younger player, and I spent half of the season feeling sorry for myself and making excuses. I thought the coach didn't like me, he was 'playing favorites,' and I didn't take responsibility for my actions - or lack of actions. Then something clicked in me. I could be pitiful, or I could be POWERFUL. I could pout, moan, and complain, or I could help my team by embracing my opportunities when they came and embracing my role. I mastered my role and I had a great final two years of playing basketball, and I created some great memories because of it. I made it a goal to be the best player coming off the bench in my league, and I made it a goal to come in a...

Safer and more effective learning environments The qualities that make us most human - connection, community, positivity, belonging, and a sense of meaning The r eal, genuine, gratitude, appreciation, thanks, and love I get from building relationships with students fills my bucket Last night, an educator told me, 'Relationships are reciprocal." He then asked, "What do we as adults get out of building relationships with kids?" My life is built around teaching, coaching, leading and serving kids. A superintendent once told me, "In education, we are in the people development business." Our job is to teach, educate and develop people. Dr. Pedro A. Noguera, the Distinguished Professor of Education at the Graduate School of Education and Information Studies and Faculty Director for the Center for the Transformation of Schools at UCLA asked , "What does it take to educate the students that you serve?" When I was asked what we get out of building relation...

We live in a microwave society where we want and expect success to happen overnight. We see the success of those around us being shared on social media, but we don't see the work that they put in behind the scenes to get to where they are. That is why I like this quote by Michael Jordan. Success, greatness, and championships are born in the journey and they are only celebrated at the end. Michael Jordan didn't win his first NBA championship until he was 28 and in his 7th year in the NBA. He had to go through a lot of adversity to climb the mountain, including Larry Bird's Celtics, Isaiah Thomas's Pistons, and Magic and t he Lakers. The media said that he didn't have what it takes to win a championship. They said his stats were empty stats because he couldn't get the Bulls over the hump. Many people thought he would never be a champion because of the way he played. But Michael Jordan just kept working hard, believed in himself, and helped grow his teammates. Jord...

Did you know that researchers say that talent is not the biggest indicator of success? They say that GRIT is more important to success than talent. GRIT is the courage and strength to stick with something long enough to master it.  Angela Duckworth is the world leader in studying GRIT. She says that talent is great, and talent definitely plays a HUGE role in success and excellence. Her definition of talent is the rate at which you increase your skills with effort. Some people can increase their skills faster than others, but the more talented people don’t always show up and they don’t always finish. It is like the quote, "Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard." If you look at the stories of every great athlete, you will see stories of GRIT and perseverance. We see the finished product, but we don't see the blood, sweat, and tears that make the greats great. The stories and details behind the success and excellence of people are like long movies and not ...