Permission to Win - Permission to Dream

Greatness doesn’t require great conditions, but it does require a great mindset and great belief in yourself. The sports world is full of people who have had to overcome a lot of fears, doubts, and anxiety to become successful, and the most important things we can give our students and athletes is a positive self-image and the confidence to try, fail and try again.

Author and sports psychologist Gary Mack wrote, "Limits begin where vision ends, and humans are the only species that get in the way of their own growth." He also said most of the work he does is to "stretch," not "shrink" the athletes he works with. We need to help our athletes stretch and expand their comfort zones by encouraging them to take risks and giving them the tools and support they need to be successful. 

We also need to help them see themselves as success stories waiting to happen. If you can't see yourself succeeding, or if you don't feel like you deserve to win, you probably won't, and worse, you run the risk of sabotaging yourself.

We all have a comfort zone that we want to be in, but greatness happens outside of our comfort zone. But when some people jump out of their comfort zone too fast, cognitive dissonance can creep in and pull them back in in a negative way.

In psychology, cognitive dissonance is when how you see yourself and what is actually happening comes into conflict.

Here are some examples of cognitive dissonance in action:

• You feel guilty because you want to be in the best shape you can for the start of the season, but instead of working out, you hang out with friends.
• You want to make the all-district or all-tournament team, but you don't put in any work before or after practice. You rationalize this by saying you just don't have the time.
• You would like to make the varsity team, but you spend more time on your phone than working on your game, and you later regret your choices when you don't make the team. You want to have an excuse, so you tell everybody that you worked hard all summer but the coach doesn't like you.
• You have been put in a new leadership role, but you feel anxious because you don't feel like you deserve it.
• You believe you are motivating your athletes, but you are really bringing them down and telling them things that make them feel more anxious, nervous, or fearful.

Cognitive dissonance doesn't have to be a bad thing. It can prompt you to make positive changes when you realize what you want, believe, and do aren't matching.

Just don't rationalize or make excuses for your behavior once you see that a change needs to be made.

When you feel like you are experiencing cognitive dissonance, ask yourself a few questions:

• What thoughts, beliefs, and actions are NOT matching?
• What actions or changes do I need to make or take to eliminate that dissonance?
• Do I need to change my actions or my mindset or beliefs?

Being more aware of how your thoughts, actions, and beliefs fit together can help you better understand what is really important to you, and help you make better, healthier choices.

Sometimes our fear of success is really driven by a fear of failure at the next level.

In order to sustain success, you have to believe in yourself and in your ability to succeed, and in order for our athletes to believe in themselves, they need someone who sees the world of potential bubbling inside of them to give them the permission to try, the permission to fail, and the permission to win.

References:

- What is Cognitive Dissonance

- 5 Everyday Examples of Cognitive Dissonance