True Confidence is Quiet - Insecurity is LOUD

Do you ever feel anxious or afraid that you are falling behind when you aren't working out? Author and runner Steve Magness writes that this anxiety and fear is common in all types of high performers.

Buddy Edelmen was an American runner who became the first man to run a marathon faster than 2 hours and 15 minutes, and he represented the U.S. in the 1964 Summer Olympics. Magness writes that Buddy was so meticulous with his training, fitness, and diet that he would record his heart rate and how many hours he had slept every morning, he tracked his weight, his workouts, and how he felt after completing them. He would then send off all his data and notes to his coach who would give comments and suggestions on how he could improve.

While his dedication and meticulousness helped him break records, it also might have held him back. Edelen's trainer told him that he need to take more time to rest, but Edelen told Sports Illustrated in 1964, "If I rest a day or two after doing this tremendous amount of exercise, I feel very irritable and nervous. Training gives me a feeling of tranquility."

So often we fear that if we aren't training, working, or doing something, we are falling behind. This fear is quite common in all types of high performers, and doubts and insecurities are part of the human experience.

Even the best in the world at what they do struggle with confidence, and when we don't have confidence, our doubts, worries, and insecurities have more room to grow.

But where does confidence come from, and how do we develop it?

Magness writes that we need a new approach to building confidence, one focused on the inside.

When our confidence is low, our toolbox shrinks.

Confidence is a filter that affects how we see the obstacles and challenges that are in our way, and our ability to handle them. The foundation of true confidence is reality, which is why saying, "Faking it until you make it," can both help and hurt. True confidence comes from doing the work and being good enough. You can fake it, but if you aren't doing the real work to grow and get better, you will never make it.

Magness says that the first step to developing inner confidence is to Raise Your Floor.

Lower the Bar. Raise the Floor

I knew a top-15 high school college basketball player whose goal was to grow into becoming a top-5 basketball player in the country. I asked his dad what their plan was, and he said the number one thing his son had to do was to become more consistent. He said everyone in the top 50 of his class could score 50 points in one game, but he said the best of the best score 23 points EVERY GAME. Great athletes have explosive potential to do amazing things, but the best show up every day, and you know what they are going to give you.

The best of the best are the best because they are consistent and reliable. They show up every day and give what they are expected to give.

He said the number one thing they were working on doing was raising his floor. Every night, he would go from scoring 18 points per game to 23 points per game. 5 points is an extra layup each half and a free throw. He said that he could easily do that by increasing his son's focus, effort, and energy. He had to lock in and become the type of hungry and engaged athlete that would work the entire time he was on the court, and that would lead to the 5 extra points.

He was good enough to do this; he didn't really need to increase his performance skills. He had to increase his character skills, like work ethic, focus, and effort. 

So often, we judge ourselves by our best performance, but that isn't really sustainable. You can't set a personal record EVERY game. Instead, try to determine a standard of performance that is high but repeatable, and work hard to hit that mark every time. 

Aim to be consistent. Don't lower your expectations, but aim for improving your best average. Know what you are capable of, and aim to hit that mark every time. In doing so, you will develop confidence in yourself because you know exactly what you bring, and you will free yourself up to take smart risks when it's time.

For more, check out Steve Magness's book, Do Hard Things!