What I Learned this Week: RARE Leadership

In their bookRare Leadership: 4 Uncommon Habits for Increasing Trust, Joy, and Engagement in the People You Lead, Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder, say halthy teams begin with healthy, emotionally mature leaders, and RARE is an acronym for the four habits of those types of leaders:

1. R – Remain Relational

• Keep relationships bigger than problems.

• When challenges arise, focus on people first rather than simply fixing the issue.  

2. A – Act Like Yourself

• Maintain your character and identity under pressure.

• People know what to expect from you because you remain consistent, even when emotions run high.

3. R – Return to Joy

• Recover quickly from emotions such as fear, anger, shame, or discouragement.

• Help others return to a healthy, connected emotional state as well.  

4. E – Endure Hardship Well

• Face adversity without losing your identity, relationships, or purpose.

• Use difficult experiences as opportunities for growth and deeper connection.  

My biggest takeaway after reading the first chapter is that we need to focus on people and relationships more than problems, and when bad things happen, how we respond is everything. When we respond negatively, it can damage relationships, confidence, and trust. If we respond in a way where only results matter, we can build walls, burn people out, and run them off. If we respond in a way that builds relationships, we can help them learn and grow confidently.

They wrote: “Perhaps the single biggest factor in producing sustainable motivation is the leader’s ability to return to joy from a variety of negative emotions. Leaders who can experience upsetting emotions such as shame, anger, fear, and despair — yet possess the skills to recover quickly and help their people recover as well — are rarely overwhelmed by the situations they face. Groups that learn how to face these emotions and recover collectively grow a strength that can face almost any problem.”

They also wrote, “RARE leaders use difficulties as opportunities to focus on improving relational skills before improving task management.”

Every teammate wants to feel like they belong, add value, and feel valued. Don’t forget that as you raise the bar and standards and hold people accountable.