A Coach's Diary

"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, but because we do not dare things that are difficult. Courage over regret." - Jill Schulman How many opportunities have you avoided because of fear? The key to having a fulfilling, regret-free life isn’t avoiding discomfort—it’s leaning into it. This is what it means to be brave. Jill Schulman is a former U.S. Marine Corps officer turned leadership development expert who recently wrote a book on bravery. She says bravery is defined not as being fearless, but stepping forward and taking action in the presence of fear. She says, “It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, but because we do not dare things that are difficult. Courage over regret." Schulman teaches that bravery isn’t something you’re born with—it’s something you build . She calls courage a muscle that grows stronger with use. She breaks it down into three main areas: Mindset – Shift how you see fear. Instead of treating it as a s...

"Don't be afraid to stand out. Normal people don’t change the world." - Serena Williams Are you willing to speak up and challenge group think? Great teams don’t just need hard workers and role players — they need truth-tellers and difference-makers who are willing to speak up, hold people accountable, and raise their hands when everyone else stays quiet to question a plan that doesn’t feel right. But speaking up against the group can be hard. In the 1950s, Solomon Asch gathered groups of college students and told them they were doing a vision test. He showed them a line and asked which of three other lines matched its length. The answer was obvious, but when everyone else in the group (who were actors) gave the wrong answer out loud, many students went along with them instead of trusting their own eyes. It showed that people often follow the crowd to fit in, even when they know the truth. We are wired to conform, and this phenomenon has been called group-think bias. Our b...

" I've realized that me being whole off the field is gonna get the best version of me on the field. " - Mal Swanson How helpful or hurtful are your off-the-field or court habits? Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is a theory that explains what motivates people. It says we must first meet our basic needs, like food, water, and sleep, before moving on to other goals.  After that comes safety, friendships and belonging, and feeling good about ourselves. At the very top is self-actualization, which means becoming the best version of yourself. If you want to be the best you can be, you have to make sure your basic needs are met—you have to eat right, get enough rest, and feel safe. Then, you have to put in the work you need to put in, but you won’t have the mental, physical, and emotional energy you need if you don’t meet your basic needs Maybe that is what professional soccer player Mallory Swanson meant when she said, " I've realized that me being whole off the fiel...

“You have to focus on what you can control. There are so many things that are out of your control, there are so many things that are going to come at you, and what you have to do is you have to focus on that, focus on the relationships in the building, and what matters.” - Ryan Day How do you handle success? Before their first game of the season after winning the national championship the year before, Ohio State coach Ryan Day was asked how to sustain success and stay at the top of the mountain. Coach Day said, “The thing you have to do is you have to focus on what you can control.” He said, “There are so many things that are out of your control, there are so many things that are going to come at you, and what you have to do is you have to focus on that, focus on the relationships in the building, and what matters.” The key to either sustaining success or stopping losing streaks is focusing on the right things—how you show up, your attitude, your energy, and how hard you work an...

“Things are never as good as you think they are or ever as bad as you think they are.” - Troy Aikman How do you maintain the right perspective through the ups and downs of sports and life? Perspective is the way you see, interpret, and make sense of a situation, shaped by your experiences, mindset, and point of view. Keeping the right perspective means not getting too high when things go well or too low when challenges come—staying steady helps you make better decisions, bounce back faster, and appreciate the bigger picture. Troy Aikman was a championship quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys. He once said, “Things are never as good as you think they are or ever as bad as you think they are.” In both success and struggle, our emotions can exaggerate reality—good moments often aren’t as perfect as they seem, and tough moments usually aren’t as hopeless as they feel—so keeping the right perspective helps us stay balanced and steady. My coaches growing up always said, “The film doesn’t lie. ...

“The thing I learned is that you can have all the talent in the world, but you have to work hard, stay focused, and be mentally tough to achieve at the highest level.” - Pete Sampras What does it take to be the best? Pete Sampras was one of the greatest tennis players of all time. He knew what it took to be the best, but more importantly, he did what it took. He once said, “I always wanted to be the best, I wasn’t just out there to be one of the guys. I was out there to be the best, and that took everything I had.” Then, “The thing I learned is that you can have all the talent in the world, but you have to work hard, stay focused, and be mentally tough to achieve at the highest level.” Finally, “When you’re playing against the best, you have to bring your best — mentally and physically. That’s what separates champions from everyone else.” You have to make a decision that you want to try to be the best you can be. Then, you have to work hard at it while staying focused and eliminating a...

“You have to train your mind just as much as you train your body.” - Tara Lipinski How often do you train your mind vs your body? Success in sports isn’t only about physical strength, skill, or practice. Mental training prepares your focus, confidence, resilience, and ability to handle pressure. Tara Lipinski was one of the youngest Olympic champions ever—she won the 1998 Olympic gold medal in Nagano, Japan at just 15 years old. Tara once said, “You have to train your mind just as much as you train your body.” She knew that talent and practice weren’t enough — she also had to strengthen her mindset to handle the pressure of the biggest stage. Your mind is like a muscle. If you don’t train it with focus, discipline, and positive habits, your physical training won’t reach its full potential. Here are 6 mental training exercises: 1. Visualization (Mental Rehearsal) Athletes close their eyes and imagine performing their routine or play perfectly — feeling the movement, hearing...