Love Tough and With a Purpose

Megan Leuick and Kaitlyn Cresencia have created a website titled ‘The Coaching Assist.’  What they do is target various coaches and then do a comprehensive 30 minute interview via telephone and then put those thoughts their website.  They also include book reviews.

They recently interviewed Bob Starkey, the mastermind behind the popular blog Hoop Thoughts. Coach Starkey’s career began at the high school level and includes stints of time on both the men’s and women’s sides of the collegiate game.

The following excerpt is from that interview regarding the importance of establishing strong relationships with today's athletes.  You can find the full article here.

When we asked Coach Starkey if players have changed during his time as a coach, he pointed out that parents are the ones who have changed. Kids today are raised differently than they were 20 years ago, just as society as a whole has changed. From working with people like Dale Brown he has learned, “x’s and o’s are nice and all, but you win through relationships.” Because of this, he makes a consistent effort to develop every relationship. “Every kid has a different ‘why.'”  As a coach, explaining the “why” behind the actions you are asking your players to perform is crucially important. Just as important is understanding why your players play the game.

In terms of his coaching style, he feels that with a foundation of trust, coaches can still be demanding of players and “get after them” when needed. His philosophy behind this is five years from now when some of these players are competing overseas or in the WNBA, or working for a demanding boss, you don’t want that to be the first time they are exposed to toughness. He then alluded to Jon Gordon’s spin on the phrase “Tough Love” that he likes to refer to as “Love Tough.” In Gordon’s article about the subject he explains that love must come first in order for the toughness to be respected.