A Coach's Diary

Drama is a fire, and coaches and leaders add oxygen to the fire every time they react to it emotionally. Business leader and consultant Mark Murphy says these four words can put out the fire and put you in problem-solving mode: Just the facts, please. These four words — or your own variation of them — can help you bring everything back to what you directly see, hear, or receive instead of the stories that we make up about it. Drama needs an audience — it isn’t a solo act. It’s a performance. If you take away the reaction, the fire has nothing to burn with or on.  Instead of fueling the fire by reacting, learn to respond strategically and intentionally. Start with yourself. Ask yourself, “What are the facts? What’s real, and what is not?” Then, find a way to say it to the room. We are wired to react emotionally, and the drama counts on this to live, breathe, and grow. Don’t. Here is the 4-step protocol I use to slow myself down: 1 - What happened — facts only? I start by asking mys...

We often think great teamwork is built on chemistry, communication, or shared goals. But organizational psychologist Tasha Eurich discovered a deeper, hidden foundation: self-awareness . According to Eurich’s research, while 95% of people think they are self-aware, only about 10% to 15% actually are. When a team lacks this trait, project success rates cut in half, stress skyrockets, and collaboration plummets. Eurich breaks self-awareness into two critical types: Internal Self-Awareness: Understanding your own values, passions, and reactions. External Self-Awareness: Understanding how other people see you. Great teams require both. If team members only have internal awareness, they remain blind to how their communication style impacts others. If they only have external awareness, they become people-pleasers who sacrifice their true potential to fit in. The breakthrough happens when teams build a "collective self-awareness" culture.  This means swapping defensive reaction...

Would you call yourself an energy-giver or an energy-taker? In his book, “The Energy Bus,” Jon Gordon explains why having and sharing positive energy can be a game changer and difference maker. Success in any organization isn’t just about strategy — it’s about the energy we bring to the journey. Gordon’s framework challenges us to take full responsibility for our attitudes and actions. When we choose optimism over complaints or excuses, we stop being victims of our circumstances. For your team, this means two critical shifts: Fuel with Positivity: Negative energy acts as a drain on productivity. By focusing on solutions and maintaining a shared vision, you create an environment where enthusiasm becomes the most valuable asset. Protect the Culture: As Gordon famously says, "No Energy Vampires Allowed." A strong team culture requires boundaries. Focus your energy on those who share your mission and are committed to the ride. Ultimately, your team is only as strong as its c...

In Atomic Habits , James Clear introduces a paradigm shift in self-improvement: "You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems." While goals are effective for setting a direction, they don’t include what’s most important — your plan for how you will achieve them. True, sustainable transformation relies on system-led performance. A system is the collection of daily processes, environments, and “atomic” habits that automate your progress. By shifting your focus from the ultimate outcome to your daily routine, you create a compounding effect: Improving just 1% every day results in being 37 times better by the end of a year. Creating a good system isn't about sheer willpower — it’s about designing an environment and a routine that makes success the default option. In Atomic Habits , James Clear provides a blueprint for this called The Four Laws of Behavior Change . Here is how you can build a powerful, system-led performance loop: 1. Make ...

If you’ve ever been on a team where everyone was terrified of making a mistake, or on the opposite end, on a team where everyone was genuinely excited to get better, you have experienced what Dr. Joan Duda calls a motivational climate. Dr. Joan Duda, a world-renowned sport psychologist, expanded on Achievement Goal Theory to explain how the environment created by coaches, teachers, or leaders directly dictates an individual's happiness, grit, and performance. According to Duda, leaders establish one of two distinct climates: 1. Task-Involved / Mastery Climate (The Growth Zone) In a mastery climate, the focus is entirely on personal improvement, effort, and cooperation . The Vibe: Success is defined by doing your best and outperforming your past self. How Mistakes are Handled: Mistakes are viewed as natural, necessary data points for learning. The Result: Athletes have higher self-esteem, experience less anxiety, stick with the sport longer, and actually perform better under p...

How did legendary coach Phil Jackson lead the Bulls and Lakers to a combined 11 NBA championships? While critics pointed to superstars like Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant, Jackson’s real secret weapon wasn't a tactical playbook — it was Tribal Leadership . In his memoir Eleven Rings , Jackson references the five stages of corporate culture outlined in Dave Logan’s book Tribal Leadership : Stage 1 — Life Sucks The Mindset: Victim’s mindset that believes the world is broken, unfair, or against them. Stage 2 — My Life Sucks The Mindset: Victim’s mindset that feels like they can’t get anything right. Stage 3 — I’m Great (and You’re Not) The Mindset: Ego-driven — I can do what they can’t. Stage 4 — We’re Great (and They’re Not) The Mindset: We as a team are better than everyone else. Stage 5 — Life is Great The Mindset: The world is full of opportunities and learning opportunities, and we are all working together to make it better. Coach Jackson says a "tribe" is any group of ...

Feedback is a tricky beast. On one hand, you need it to know how you are doing, but it can feel judgemental and force your defenses to go up. Traditional feedback focuses entirely on the past and is an autopsy of what you already did wrong. You can’t change it, you can’t fix it, and mentally, it can force teams to play defense. Legendary executive coach Marshall Goldsmith pioneered a massive culture shift to solve this, and it’s a game-changer for any team: Feedforward instead of Feedback. While feedback is backward-looking and often feels like a judgment, feedforward is entirely forward-looking and focuses strictly on options for the future. When a team culture shifts from feedback to feedforward, something incredible happens to the dynamics: People stop getting defensive. You can't change the past, but you can change the future. Feedforward feels like coaching, not criticizing. It expands psychological safety. It removes the sting of failure and turns mistakes into immediate, ...

In Patrick Lencioni’s work on team culture, he defines the ideal team player with three simple traits: humble, hungry, and smart . These aren’t about talent — they’re about how people show up and work together every day. Humble players put the team first. They share credit, admit mistakes, and focus on what helps the group succeed. Hungry players bring energy and effort. They don’t need to be pushed — they look for ways to improve, contribute, and go a little further than expected. Smart players understand people. They communicate well, read the room, and handle interactions in a way that builds trust instead of tension. When a team has all three, culture becomes strong and consistent. People feel valued, standards stay high, and communication improves. But when one is missing, problems show up. A talented teammate without humility can hurt chemistry. Someone without hunger can lower the team’s standard. And without people smarts, even hard-working teammates can create unnecessary conf...

Culture isn’t built on pressure — it’s built on positivity.  In Shawn Achor’s research on performance and well-being, he challenges a common belief that success leads to happiness. Instead, he found the opposite is often true—  happiness fuels success. He calls this The Happiness Advantage , and it has a direct impact on team culture. Most teams think, “We’ll be positive once we start winning.” But Achor’s research shows that when individuals and teams start with positivity — through encouragement, connection, and optimism — they actually perform better. The brain works more effectively in a positive state. It becomes more creative, more resilient, and better at solving problems. That’s not just good for individuals — it elevates the entire team. Culture is built in the small, daily moments. A teammate offering encouragement. A coach recognizing effort. A leader bringing energy, even on tough days. These actions seem simple, but they shape how people feel — and how they show ...

How do you create a culture change? John Kotter teaches that culture does not change because leaders announce a new slogan or hang new values on the wall. Culture changes when people begin doing things differently — and those new behaviors become “the way we do things here.” His 8-Step Change Model is a roadmap for making that happen: Create urgency – Help people understand why change matters now. If people do not see the need, they will stay comfortable. Build a guiding team – Change cannot come from one leader alone. You need trusted people across the team who believe in the change and can influence others. Create a clear vision – People need to know where the team is going and what success looks like. Communicate the vision often – One meeting is not enough. Great leaders repeat the message consistently and connect it to everyday work. Remove barriers – Ask, “What is making this hard?” Then remove obstacles, confusion, or outdated habits that keep people stuck. Create short-term ...

When Satya Nadella became CEO of Microsoft, the company had a reputation for internal competition, silos, and a “know-it-all” culture. People were focused on proving they were right rather than learning and improving. Nadella shifted that by introducing a simple but powerful idea: move from a “know-it-all” culture to a “learn-it-all” culture. This is rooted in the concept of a growth mindset , developed by Carol Dweck — the belief that abilities can be developed through effort, feedback, and learning. Instead of rewarding people for always having the right answer, Nadella encouraged: Curiosity over certainty Learning over proving Collaboration over competition He modeled it himself by asking more questions, admitting what he didn’t know, and focusing on continuous improvement. And here’s the key: culture didn’t change because he said it — it changed because behaviors changed: Teams started sharing ideas more openly People became more willing to take risks Feedback became part of how th...

One of the most powerful ideas in motivation and performance comes from Teresa Amabile, called The Progress Principle . After studying thousands of workdays across different industries, she found something surprising: It’s not big wins, bonuses, or recognition that drive people the most day-to-day — it’s progress. She writes in The Progress Principle: “Of all the things that can boost emotions, motivation, and perceptions during a workday, the single most important is making progress in meaningful work.” That means people don’t need everything to be perfect or finished to feel motivated. They just need to feel like they’re moving forward. When people see progress — even small wins — they gain energy, confidence, and momentum. When they feel stuck, motivation drops quickly. So as leaders, coaches, or teammates, the goal isn’t just to push for results. It’s to create environments where people can see and feel progress every day. That might look like: Breaking big goals into smaller step...