Make Friendships a Fine Art

All credit of this article goes to Pat Williams and his book, Coach Wooden.  He breaks down Coach Wooden’s seven-point creed that was given to him by his father when he graduated from elementary school.  Many attribute a large part of his success to this creed and his ability to live it out daily.

The 4th creed is ‘Make Friendship a Fine Art.’  Below are quotes and passages from that 3^rd creed.

- You can read about the 1^st creed, 'be true to yourself,' here.
- You can read about the 2^nd creed, ‘help others,’ here.
- You can read about 3rd creed, 'Drink deeply from here. 

Someone is not a good friend because he or she does good things for you all the time.  It’s friendship when you do good things for each other.  It’s showing concern and consideration … The first and most important step in friendship is being a friend.
- John Wooden

Friendship is like a good marriage – it’s based on common concern.  Friends help each other; they don’t use each other … If we use our friends to advance a personal agenda, we’ll never have inner peace.  Friends help to complete us, and we’ll be better for having taken them along on our journey.

Friendship is a matter of give-and-take.  If you only give or only take, the relationship becomes unbalanced and out of bounds.  The fine art of friendship is not a one-way street.  Good friends know how to go through tough times together.  They know how to give and how to receive.
- Swen Nater; former UCLA center

Genuine, meaningful friendship is rare.  To be a genuine friend, demonstrate a genuine interest in the things that interest your friends by becoming interested in other people than by trying to interest other people yourself.
- Dale Carnegie

Coach Wooden is a role model of genuine friendship.  A big part of it show well Coach listens to people.  He asks probing questions and gets people to talk about what’s really going on in their lives.  He’s a great listener.  Coach has taught me so much about friendship.
- Mark Gottfried

A good friend makes others feel important.  Coach Wooden always finds ways to let others know they matter to him.  Let people know they are important to you, and you will build important friendships.

“Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow.  Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead.  Just walk beside me and be my friend.”

- Albert Camus

To be a true friend, show that you care.  Be there for your friends when they need you.  Celebrate the joys and triumphs in lives of your friends.  Share you friends’ struggles when they hurt.  As Oprah Winfrey once said, “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”

Andy Hill told me, “Coach Wooden was focused on character development.  He talked about the importance of choosing your friends wisely and making sure you have friends who care enough to challenge you and ask you the tough questions: Are you working on becoming more patient and self-controlled?  Are you overcoming bad habits?  Are you being honest with yourself?  Bad friends tear you down.  Good friends build you up.  People who are focused on continuous improvement want to have good friends in their lives, holding them accountable for their character growth.

“Don’t try to understand me, just love me.”

- Nell Wooden to her husband John