A Coach's Diary

  "If you don't lose, you cannot enjoy the victories. So I have to accept both things." - Rafael Nadal Do you enjoy losing? I hate losing. I never want to lose at anything. But I also accept losing because it is a part of being an athlete and competitor. If you never lose, that means you are really good where you are, and you probably need to find somewhere else to compete. What do I mean by this? You aren’t being pushed to be the best you can be. There is so much you can learn from losing. When I was growing up, we were told, “If you were the best player in the gym, find another gym.” I was also told to play older, bigger, and better players because competing against and losing to them would make me better. Rafael Nadal is one of the best tennis players of all time. He once said, "If you don't lose, you cannot enjoy the victories. So I have to accept both things." While I don’t like losing, they make me better and help me appreciate the wins so much more. N...

“I took it on as a challenge: Do I belong here with the best of the best? Or am I about to be back in L.A. running pickup? Only one way to find out.”- Cynthia Cooper Do you feel like you belong in the rooms with the best of the best? Think about the best teams and the best dynasties in the history of sports … How many of them won four championships in a row? There aren’t a lot. One of them was the Houston Comets WNBA team from 1997 to 2000, and they were led by Cynthia Cooper, one of the best female basketball players of all time. She won two national championships at USC before having a long and successful career in Europe, where she averaged 37 points per game as a rookie. But she said the Italian league was the best league in the world at that time, so even though she led the league in scoring, she had to prove herself every night to keep her contract. About this situation, Cooper said, "I took it on as a challenge: Do I belong here with the best of the best? Or am I abou...

“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.”- Confucius Are you where you want to be? One thing I’ve learned is you can be ahead and behind at the same time. There is always someone ahead of you that you are chasing, and there is always someone behind you chasing them. The key is to never stop. Chinese philosopher Confucius once said, “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop. You might be ahead today and behind tomorrow, or you might be behind today and ahead tomorrow, just don’t stop. You might feel like you are moving and growing at a million miles per hour, or you might feel like you are barely making any progress. No matter what, don’t stop. Allen Iverson was one of my favorite basketball players growing up. In an interview, he talked about how to keep going when expectations and mistakes are weighing you down. He said you get weighed down when you try to be perfect and are scared to make mistakes. He said, “You are going to turn...

“ It’s crazy  what support can do. People believe in you when you don't believe in yourself. That can really change the way a match goes.” - Coco Gauff What does real support look and feel like to you? Do you ever wonder why some athletes make it and others don't? Or why some draft picks find the perfect home, while others never find their way? Or why some athletes go from team to team and then finally find the perfect home where they can stick and thrive? A lot of this has to do with the support they receive. Some teams and coaches are able to give more and better support than others, creating a better environment. Think about some of the best teammates you have been around - when you are with people who like you, care about you, and value you, how does it make you feel? When you have people cheering you on and supporting you, how much more confident are you? Coco Gauff is one of the best tennis players in the world. She once said, “It's crazy what support can do. Pe...

“Leadership isn't just about scoring; it's about uplifting the entire team.” - Caitlin Clark What kind of leader do you want to be? Most people want to score the most points, or be the quarterback who throws the touchdowns, or be the striker who puts the ball in the back of the net, but leadership is more than that. Leadership is influence and how to motivate and inspire others. Caitlin Clark took the basketball world by storm when she broke records at Iowa. She was known for making threes all over the court, and she was the one scoring all the points and making all the headlines. But Caitlin herself said this is not what leadership is all about. She said, “Leadership isn't just about scoring; it's about uplifting the entire team.” Leadership is how you make people feel, and what you inspire them to do. Yes, you can be inspiring if you make ‘Logo Threes,’ but there are other ways to uplift your team, too. Show up early, have great energy and a great attitude, say ...

"I just wish people would realize that anything is possible if you try; dreams are made possible if you try.” - Terry Fox How much do you believe in yourself? I’ve seen athletes with all the talent and potential in the world never reach their full potential because they don’t believe in themselves, and I have seen athletes with marginal talent, skill, or athleticism overachieve because of how much they believe in themselves. Belief is such a powerful word. In fact, it might be the most powerful characteristic when it comes to predicting success. People who believe in themselves always have a chance, and people who don’t run the risk of forfeiting theirs. A Canadian man named Terry Fox lost his leg at 18 years old because of cancer. He went through 16 months of treatment, and the suffering he felt and saw from other cancer patients led him to decide to raise awareness and money for cancer treatment by running a marathon every single day. Terry did that for 143 straight days un...

“I admit it. I'm in love with fear.” - Eileen Gu How do you feel about fear? I’ve seen fear do a lot of things, including forcing people to stop doing something they love. As a coach, I hate when I see my athletes not try new things in practice and games because they are afraid, including not giving their all because they fear the opponent in front of them. Fear can slow you down or stop you altogether if you allow it, so how can you overcome it? Freeskier Eileen Gu has found a healthy balance between confidence in her ability and the thrill of uncertainty or fear. In fact, she has said, “I admit it. I’m in love with fear.” How? By recognizing it can both help and hurt you, and channeling in a way that fear serves as a guide, not an enemy. It starts with visualization. When Gu feels fear, she visualizes herself successfully doing the thing she is afraid of. Gu says confidence is also important when trying to fight off fear. How do we gain confidence? Through practice and succ...

“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” - Zig Ziglar Who are you becoming? Dr. Jim Loehr is a sports psychologist who has worked with 10s of 1,000s of athletes. One of my favorite questions from him is, “Who are you becoming as a result of the chase?” We all have goals that we are chasing, but the true value isn’t just about the end result; it’s about the growth, discipline, and transformation you experience along the way. As we work towards the goals we set, something deeper happens - we grow and build character. Zig Ziglar was a successful motivational speaker. He once said, “What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” With every decision we make on our journey, we are deciding who we are becoming. Who are you becoming? Every time you choose discipline over distraction, you are becoming someone stronger, more focused, and more capable. Every time you choose di...

“It's not about perfect. It's about effort. And when you bring that effort every single day, that's where transformation happens.” - Jillian Michaels What do you focus on more: Trying to be perfect or trying to be your best? There are no perfect people and no perfect athletes. Very few athletes go through their entire careers with a perfect record, and even someone like the boxer Floyd Mayweather, who had a 50-0 professional record, loses rounds and gets knocked down. Despite having a perfect professional record, Floyd had an imperfect amateur record, going 84-6 before turning pro. Fitness expert Jillian Michaels once said, “It's not about perfect. It's about effort. And when you bring that effort every single day, that's where transformation happens.” Instead of chasing perfection, chase the things perfection requires: Consistent, honest effort. Let that be your guide, and you will probably get closer to perfection without the emotional letdown when perfect...

“The more I practice, the luckier I get.” - Gary Player Do you believe in luck? One of the things I truly believe is something I call Luck and Legacy. This means that for every legacy, there is some luck involved. But I also believe that the more prepared you are and the harder you work, the luckier you get. A timely opportunity, a helpful connection, a favorable bounce. But here’s the truth: that kind of luck doesn’t show up for everyone - it shows up for those who are prepared to take advantage of it, because if you aren’t ready, you will miss out on the opportunity. Gary Player is a legendary South African professional golfer, widely regarded as one of the greatest golfers in the history of the sport. He once said, “The more I practice, the luckier I get.” We say someone got a “lucky break” while overlooking the hours of work they put in. I grew up watching Michael Jordan hitting big, game-winning shots that he had practiced over and over again. When I see someone hit a tough, lucky...

“The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude.” - Oprah Winfrey In sports - and in life - success doesn’t always come down to talent, size, or speed.  More often, it comes down to attitude. We’ve all seen athletes who had all the physical tools but lacked the mindset to rise to their potential, and we have seen less gifted athletes who found a way to win because of their grit, mental toughness, and positive perspective. What is the difference? Attitude! Attitude is the lens through which we view adversity, teammates, coaches, and even ourselves. It shapes how we respond to failure, how we train when no one is watching, and how we handle pressure when everything is on the line. The power of attitude is this: it’s 100% in your control. You can’t control everything, but you can control your attitude. We must teach and model this daily. Our words and body language matter. How we respond to losses, benchings, bad calls, and to...

“Courage doesn’t mean you don’t get afraid. Courage means you don’t let fear stop you.” - Bethany Hamilton How do you find the courage to do what you need to do afraid? I used to be terrified of making mistakes. I was so afraid of making mistakes that I wouldn’t try new moves I learned until I had them mastered. This taught me two things: How to quickly learn and master new skills so that I had the confidence to actually use them, and how to do things afraid. I had more courage than most, but there was always one or two athletes who looked like they had no fear. They would see something, try it, mess up, and just try it again. I wanted that level of confidence for myself, but I learned that more than confidence, I needed courage. Bethany Hamilton lost her arm in a shark attack when she was a 13-year old rising surf star. If that happened to me, I would probably never get in the water again, but she returned to surfing just one month later, and she won her first national surfing title w...

“You learn more from losing than winning. You learn how to keep going.” - Morgan Wooten Which is stronger: Your love of winning or your hatred for losing? I HATE losing. When I was growing up, I would cry after every loss. As an adult, I sometimes shed tears after losses. Winning feels great - it’s exciting, validating, and often celebrated. But losing? That’s where the real learning happens. Losses expose weaknesses, test character, and force us to make a choice: Stay down or get back up. In sports, losing teaches resilience in a way that winning never can. It strips away comfort and demands reflection. It asks tough questions: Did we prepare well enough? Did we execute under pressure? Were we mentally locked in? And perhaps most importantly—how do we respond now? The teams and athletes who grow the most aren’t the ones who win every game. They’re the ones who lose, learn, and come back better. They review film, correct mistakes, and use failure as fuel. Losses can hurt - but they can...

"It’s not enough to have the talent; you have to have the guts to use it.” - Manuela di Centa I had a teammate in high school who had all the tools to be a great basketball player. He was tall, fast, and could jump out of the jump, but our coach would rarely play him. My dad would always ask, “Why doesn’t he ever get in the game?” At first, I couldn’t answer why, but I started watching my teammate in practice, and I noticed something - he stayed in the back of the line during every drill. It was like he was afraid to jump out there, so he never maximized his potential. Olympic gold medalist Manuela di Centa once said, “It’s not enough to have the talent; you have to have the guts to use it.” It’s a powerful reminder that natural ability alone doesn't guarantee success - courage, commitment, and mental toughness do. My teammate didn’t have the guts to push past fear, doubt, or comfort, so we never got the chance to see how good he could be. We all know someone like that: A frie...

“The best leaders don’t create more followers, they create more leaders.” - Tom Peters Would you follow yourself? I had a teammate in college who was so confident in himself that when you played with him, you felt like you could beat anyone. But not only was he good and confident, he worked hard, and it inspired the rest of us to work harder; he talked on and off the court, leading us to do the same, and he was a genuinely good person and teammate, so we fell in line. We often think leadership means being the top scorer, the loudest in the locker room, or the person we look to in clutch moments, but true leadership is more than that. We were better leaders because of the leadership qualities my teammate modeled. Author and management expert Tom Peters once said, “The best leaders don’t create more followers, they create more leaders.” Leaders make everyone around them better. Culture is a team sport, and great teams aren’t built on one voice but on many. The best leaders motivate and i...