Mess Up More

 

“Why didn’t you go for that ball?

“What do you mean?”

“You hesitated. I mean, you made it look like you were going for the ball, but you hesitated just enough to be one step behind … and it look like you did it on purpose. Why?”

“I don’t know …”

“How can you not know — you did it?”

“I don’t know …”

“Look — you have to trust yourself. You have to. If you don’t trust yourself, nobody else will. And you have to be honest with yourself, even if you won’t be honest with me. But I know you. I raised you. I know when you feel confident and when you don’t. I know when you back off and when you go all in. I’m not mad at you — I just want you to trust yourself enough to go all in, all the time.”

“I just don’t like messing up.”

“Why not?”

“Because I feel bad. I feel like everyone is watching me and I’m not good enough.”

“But you’re one of the best players on your team!”

“That’s why I’m afraid to mess up.”

“Huh?”

“My team needs me.”

“But they don’t have you if you shy away from the moment and are scared to mess up. And just because you make a mistake doesn’t mean you stop trying. It means you gotta try more. In fact, I want to see you mess up more — I want to see how many times you can mess up, get yelled at by your coaches, teammates, and parents, and keep going.”

“Mess up more?”

“Yes! More! Mess up so much and learn from it so that you don’t mess up anymore. Next week, nobody will remember this week’s mistakes except you, but if you don’t mess up this up this week, what have you learned?”

“I don’t know …”

“Nothing. You don’t learn anything about yourself when you don’t take chances and make mistakes. Just don’t let one turn into two, and if you do, don’t let two turn into three. But just don’t run from mistakes, and learn how to deal with the outside noise from your coaches, teammates, and parents. We will all give you a hard time if you mess up — but don’t let none of it stop you. Be the best in the world at messing up and bouncing back from your mistakes.”