The Law of Connection (10)

Leaders Touch A Heart Before They Ask For A Hand

When it comes to working with people, you have to engage them on a human level - to make a connection with them.  The heart comes before the head.  You can't move people to action unless you first move them with emotion.  

Great leaders work at connecting with others all of the time, whether they are communicating to an entire organization or working with a single individual.  The stronger the relationship you form with followers, the greater the connection you forge - the more likely those followers will be to want to help you.

"People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."

Even in a group, you have to relate to people as individuals.  

"I have seen competent leaders who stood in front of a platoon and all they saw was a platoon. But great leaders stand in front of a platoon and see it as forty-four individuals, each of whom has aspirations, each of whom wants to live, each of whom want to do good." - General Norman Shwarzkopf

Even in a large group, it important to talk to each one person.  

1 - Connect With Yourself - Be confident and be yourself
2 - Communicate With Openness and Sincerity
3 - Know Your Audience - Speak to what they care about, not what you care about
4 - Live Your Message - Practice what you preach
5 - Go To Where They Are - Speak their language
6 - Focus On Them, Not Yourself - You will always connect faster when your focus is not on yourself
7 - Believe In Them - Believe in the value of others - People's opinion of us has less to do with what they see in us than it does with what we can help them see in themselves

It's always the leader's job to take the first step in connecting and in building the relationship.  And in doing so, don't try to convince them - connect wiht them.

Is is said that Napoleon made it a practice to know every one of his officers by name and to remember where they lived and which battles they had fought with him.  Robert E. Lee was known to visit the men at their campsites the night before any major battle.  Its important to find times to make yourself available to people.  Learn their names.  Tell them how much you appreciate them.  Find out how they are doing.  And most important - listen.

When a leader truly has done the work to connect with his people, you can see it in the way the organization function.  Employees exhimit loyalty and a strong work ethic.  The vision of the leader becomes the aspiration of the people.  The impact is incredible.  

"To lead yourself, use your head.  To lead others, use your heart."

Applying The Law of Connection

1 - You have to start with knowing and liking who you are.  Start by measuring your level of self-awareness.

- How would I describe my personality?

- What is my greatest character strength?

- What is my greatest character weakness?

- What is my single greatest asset?

- What is my single greatest deficit?

- How well do I relate to others (1-100)?

- How well do i communicate with others (1-10)?

- How likable am I (1-10)?

2 - Learn to walk slowly through the crowd and connect before you get to business.  Taking a few minutes each day will pay huge dividends in the future.  

3 - Work everyday on how well you communicate with others at every level.